The Diego Diaries: Shadow Box 30: Ring-a-ding, ding-a-ling, dong (Edited for boo-boos)
-0-Around town, on the corner of Metroplex Highway and Cultural Center Road
"They're watching us there."
"Where do we go then?"
"The old fogies have the alcove in the Fortress."
Everyone nods.
"That little park by the Business Plaza."
"Drift and Springer are onto it."
"I don't care. They're cute."
"Aurora, I don't care if they're cute. They're the Night Watch."
"How about Metroplex Park for now."
Everyone nodded. Everyone turned and walked toward the subway station that would drop them off at the city park. Metroplex would monitor them while there as he always did when younglings and infants visited his environs and when they finally conned someone into buying high grade, he would ping Springer.
BUSTED!
Such was the life of a sub adult mechanism in the big city.
-0-At Maccadam's Old Oil Bar
"Ops Center was weird today."
"Why?"
"I was doing my job, minding my own business and the conversation that Prowl was having with the soldiers sort of leaked over to where I was sitting. Uh, doing my job."
"You said so. You were eavesdropping, right?"
Pause. "Maybe."
"What did they talk about?"
"Well, there was the committee and how weird their attitudes were, the game coming up and something called Goku."
"Goku."
"Yeah. Just like I said."
"What's a Goku?"
"Well, that's the interesting part ..."
-0-Earlier in Ops Center where a mystified ada asks questions about many things including Goku...
:My sons are watching Japanese cartoons and I'm concerned. They want to be Goku, Vegeta and Piccolo:
:Well, that's cool. I wanted to be Goku once: Lennox said.
:Goku kicked butt: Epps said. :I remember Dragonball Z when I was a kid:
:I did too. I lived in Japan as a child for a little bit. I think I still have the comics: Niall Graham said with a smile.
:You have the comics?: Epps asked with surprise.
:Damn. I wish I still had mine: Lennox said as the three sidetracked into their own world.
Prowl looked at them. :Ahem:
:Oh, yeah. What do you want to know, Prowl?:
-0-At Maccadams Old Whatsit Place
"So this story is about a boy with a tail who is looking for Dragon balls."
Pause to access language database. Gives startled doubletake to companion. "What do dragon testicles have to do with a boy with a tail? Or are you saying this is a boy's 'tale'?"
"You're not tracking."
"I'm sure Prowl wasn't either."
Ops Center where Prowl is trying to track...
:So anyway, they all get together and battle any number of foes. There are androids...:
:Did you think Android 18 was kind of hot? I thought she was: Epps said with a grin.
:She was cute. She had a nice butt: Lennox said with a smirk well aware that the telltale signs of Prowl's befuddlement were beginning to emerge in the handsome mech's otherwise doggedly passive face. :I don't much care for stories about robots ... no offense, Prowl:
:None taken. I think: Prowl replied as he tried to follow the conversation.
:But this story was filled with them. Some of them were hot. I would tap Android 18: Lennox said with a wicked grin.
:Tap?: Prowl asks.
:Uh, she's hot:
:She has internal thermostatic control issues? Perhaps her maker missed a step:
:That's it: Epps said with a grin. :Anyway, she comes to kill Goku with her brother, Android 20 and he gets absorbed by Cell. She gets absorbed too in some timelines but not others. On the one where she lives, she marries Krillin and they have a baby named Marron:
Prowl looked at them blinking a moment. :A human and android have an infant:
:Sure. Did you know that Goku is really called Kekerot. Also, all the Saiyans are named after vegetables and all their kids are named after underwear. Trunks is the son of Vegeta and Bulma and the daughter whose name means bra in Japanese is named weird too. I don't know what that word is in Japanese ... her name that is: Lennox said with a wink at Graham and Epps.
:I used to know but I forgot. I liked Vegeta. He was bad ass. Bulma liked him even though he was a perfect dick: Epps said.
:Who is Dick?: Prowl asked as he valiently tried to follow along.
It went downhill from there.
-0-At the movies
"I liked that story. All those little people reminds me of family night at my house."
"Dwarves. They are dwarf people."
"They're cute for humans. I liked the singing."
"It was nice." Pause. "I don't think I like hairy feet."
"No. Don't like hairy feet. Want to get drunk?"
"Never thought you'd ask, Cliffjumper."
They disappeared into the night heading for Maccadams and destiny.
-0-Night shift at Ops Center
"Slow night."
"Yup."
"Magnus and Arcee got bonded from what I see here."
"I know. Some slagger hit me with about a hundred emails."
"I think I just deleted two thousand myself. Let's go to the forum and see what's posted about it in the 'Juicy Blather' section." Pause as they both go there. "Look. Three hundred comments. Here's one: 'Slaggers should have bonded a long time ago. Maybe Magnus would be a nicer mech. All that pent up fragging energy going nowhere but his slagger button."
"I bet that's from Ironhide."
Pauses to check. "You're right. Here's one following up from Ratchet. 'Ironhide, go frag yourself. I *KNOW* you knew about this and didn't tell me. Enjoy the couch, you slagger.'"
Chuckles were had by all. "Wait. Here's a reply. They're actually chatting about it on this slagging post!"
Ironhide (IH): "You are one hard helmed old slagger. The couch? Just because I didn't know in advance that they were bonding which I didn't?"
Ratchet (R): "LIKE YOU DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT SPRINGER AND DRIFT!?"
IH: "That one doesn't count."
R: "HOW SO?!"
IH: "Give me a moment..."
R: "I'M WAITING!" Followed by a toe tapping smilie.
IH: Sheepish little grinning smilie appears.
R: Middle finger smilie returns the salute.
IH: Smilie appears who walks to another pissed off smilie and kisses the slag out of them.
R: Same smilie punches the other smilie in the face, then body slams them like The Rock who is currently entertaining First Aid and Bumblebee in their apartment on the top floor of a tower in Mare Tranquilitatis.
IH: Little smilie that is covered in bandages offers the viewer a sweet contrite giant smile and a big bouquet of flowers.
R: Pissed smilie who is pouty takes the flowers and sniffs them.
IH: Smilie of bot sniffing flowers stands in puff of smoke as flowers immediately blow up in their face. Soot covered smilie turns to look at viewer with big frown.
R: A smilie of a bot that looks exactly like a tiny Ratchet runs toward one that looks like a tiny Ironhide with a frying pan in servo. Chases Ironhide smilie bot all over screen before nailing him. That smilie walks off all triumphant and swishy butted while Ironhide smilie has to part his legs to look out from the spot his helm landed when he was hit.
IH: Ironhide smilie rolls on the floor laughing his aft off for a moment, then pausing to blow a kiss. "HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, OLD MECH!" unfurls on a banner over his tiny smilie helm and his giant shit eating grin.
R: Ironhide smilie tackled by a Ratchet smilie. They smooch and Ratchet smilie stands up, swishing his way off screen.
IH: Shit eating grinning Ironhide smilie waggles optical ridges, smooths his armor and swaggers over to a door that appeared that says 24, just like home. He knocks and leans against door like a real lady's/mech's man and it opens. A blanket and pillow gets tossed out and the door shuts.
Silence for a moment.
R: A little Ratchet mech comes out wearing a night gown and night cap. Stands looking around. "IRONHIDE! GET HOME! NOW!" says a banner overhead. Walks back inside and leaves door open.
IH: Little Ironhide smilie runs for the door and steps inside. Then he leans out and puts 'do not disturb' on the door. It closes.
R: 'Good night, Ironhide' a tiny banner says.
IH: 'Good night, Ratchet' another tiny banner says.
They both log off.
Ops Center mechs grin. "I hope I'm half as senile as those two when I'm their age."
"You and me both."
Then they turned back to the task at servo.
Tetra.
-0-Hopping around on the Underground
"There will be a hearing in the morning for you slaggers."
"We're sorry, Mr. Springer," a contrite youngling mech said with deep feelings of HELL YES! PLEASE FORGIVE ME! MERCY!
"We aren't. Are we, Drift?" Springer asked as he looked at the mix of forlorn little sub adult younglings tottering along behind him.
"I don't think we are," Drift said with a grin. "Much."
"I suppose we should feel sorry. Your genitors are heading for the station," Springer said with a grin. "But we aren't sorry. Some of us didn't have genitors that lived long enough to care about us. Ask me tomorrow if I'm sorry. Maybe then," he said as the train stopped and they stepped off for the short walk and scorching release into the 'loving' arms of several pairs of deeply mortified genitors.
Red Wing among them.
And the beat rolled on ...
-0-TBC
2013 (2) For Pip