By the end of the week I had resigned myself to the fact that Lacey had no interest in befriending me, but I didn't think that gave her the right to belittle me. Word around campus had quickly spread that I was the local charity case and Lacey was also successful in convincing half the school that I was crazy too. She shared endless whispers with others about stories of my nightmares, sleepwalking and sleep talking.
Every time I saw her whispering to another student and looking at a rumble of rage coursed through my blood. Between my paranoia and her tale telling I was completely devastated and girlfriendless.
I grew more and more infuriated with my roommate each time I saw her sneer or heard her voice. I daydreamed of getting even and there was nothing I wanted more than to punch her right between the eyes. I knew that Dally or Steve would have coached me to do so already, but I didn't. I was raised better than that, and I didn't want Lacey to get the best of me. So, instead of fighting back, I just stood by and let her call me names, humiliate me, and flaunt her parent's money in my face.
I had only a few more days until I earned the privilege of phone calls and visitors, so I kept my guard up and counted down the days until I could hear the voices of my brothers and friends. Even though it was Saturday night, and all of the other girls were spending time together or home visiting their families, I was in my room pretending to be enjoying the comfort of my solitude as I lay in my bed rereading one of my favorite letters from Kathryn.
Dear Scout,
I hope Ashford Academy is everything you dreamed it would be. I am sure you are fitting in nicely and meeting so many wonderful girls. I know it is hard to be away from home, but embrace the opportunity and don't worry too much about Tulsa. Sodapop, Two-Bit, Casey and I are doing everything we can to help out.
I must tell you that I am absolutely devastated over what has happened to you and your family. I often sit in my dorm room and wonder what would have happened if I had stayed away and not come by to talk with Darry. I think to myself that James wouldn't have been given the opportunity to hurt you if I hadn't been selfish for Darry's attention. But I needed to tell your brother how much I really cared for him. I had tried to fall for other boys who had less responsibility, but I could never get rid of my feelings for Darry. I love him and I told him so that night.
At a time like this I think you need to know how proud he is of you and how much he loves you. When we were outside sitting in my car he told me about the trouble you had been having with James. He was really worried for you. He wanted you to go to Ashford Academy so you could get away from the dangers of your neighborhood. He wants you and Ponyboy to be able to go to college more than anything. He loves you and he has committed himself to you and your brothers. Knowing that gives me the strength to believe he will pull through this. When he does, I'll be there waiting for him. I love him…
My dorm room door swung open and I folded up the letter. While Lacey and her friends filed into the room I stuffed the letter under my pillow to hide it.
Lacey stopped in front of me and shoved her hands onto her slender hips. "Charity, you need to leave. My friends and I need this room to ourselves."
I stared at the ceiling and didn't respond. I didn't plan on following her demands.
"Get out!" She insisted and hitched her thumb towards the door.
I didn't move.
Seeing she wasn't in control Lacey shot a look to her friends. "See why I hate all my roommates! Let's just meet and ignore her."
A girl with long black hair, Rita, spoke in agreement. "It's not like she's going to know who we are talking about anyway."
"Yeah," Tucker responded. "I don't think we'll have to worry about her ever becoming a member of our Wealthy Bachelor Club. None of our favorite bachelors would give her a second look." The girls all laughed together.
I rolled my eyes.
The other blond in the room, Kristen, chimed in. "They would never give her a first look!"
Rita said, "I don't know about that, we all know that each of the bachelors we talk about will find themselves involved in charity work at some point or another." The high pitch of the loud laughter pierced my ears as I tried not to let their horrible comments rattle me, but they did.
"Come on girls, just forget about her." Lacey looked to her friends and announced, "I hereby declare this month's meeting of the W. B. C. to order!" Then Lacey reached under her bed and pulled out a hardcover scrapbook stuffed full of paper notes and photographs. She opened the book to the marked page and began her meeting. "This month's bachelor is tall, rich, and handsome."
"Aren't they all?" Kristen giggled.
Lacey opened the scrapbook and threw a few photos out onto her bedspread that the girls snatched up. "Ralph Wenset of the Wenset Lumber Mills."
"He is absolutely delicious," Tucker said and licked her cherry red lips.
The collection of debutantes ogled over the boy and shared stories of when they had met him and how much money they estimated his family had. Listening to their superficial conversation started to make me jealous. It wasn't fair that mean girls like them would no doubt end up with a millionaire's son in the next decade. These girls would never know life as I had known it. They would never have to struggle for what they needed. Then, somewhere in my sulking my ears perked up to their conversation.
"…Good looking or not, I am simply not interested! Lest you forget I plan to be the future Mrs. Owen Jasper."
Instantly, I turned my head to look over to my roommate. Maybe I was more a member of the W.B.C. than they wanted me to be.
"He is so fine!" Rita declared about my boyfriend.
With half of a smirk on my face I asked, "Are you talking about Owen Jasper from Tulsa?"
Lacey sneered at me. "Charity, you are not part of this conversation."
Rita looked in my direction. "It's not as if you know him, so bud out."
"Really?" I asked and propped my self up on my elbow, happy to challenge her. "He goes to Tulsa High, right?"
Tucker threw her head back in annoyance. "Just because you go to school with the upper class doesn't mean you know them."
"He's the star running back on the football team and works for his father's company, right?"
"What is your point?" Tucker asked with exasperation
"My point is that I highly doubt a girl like Lacey will ever be Mrs. Owen Jasper."
"That's a pretty bold statement, even for you." Kristen barked.
"Yeah, what makes you say that?" Tucker snapped.
A devilish grin spread across my face as I realized I had something the W.B.C. girls did not. "Because the Owen Jasper you are referring to is in love with me."
"No way!" Rita waved me off with her hand.
"You're a liar!" Lacey cackled and glared at me.
Smugly, I responded, "I have the love letters to prove it."
"Let's see 'em." Tucker requested and crawled off of Lacey's bed.
Graciously, I reached into the drawer of my nightstand and pulled out a stack of envelopes addressed from Owen. Tucker walked over to confirm the return address on the envelopes. "Holy Shi…" she said, being careful not to fully commit to her swear.
"Letters with his return address don't mean a thing." Rita chimed in.
Lacey snapped, "There is no way Owen Jasper would date a girl like you."
"I have a handful of letters that say different," I said and waved the stack of letters. "And his letterman's sweater is in my dresser drawer."
Lacey's blood began to boil as she snarled, "you may have a few letters from a pen pal and a sweater you stole, but you've probably never even kissed him?"
I laughed a little, "Yeah, we've kissed."
"Big deal!" Tucker yelled out. "I've kissed him French style. But he really wasn't that good."
The disclosure from Tucker caught me off guard. I hadn't expected anyone in the room to have actually known Owen that intimately, but they had and more than I had known.
"You're crazy, Tuck!" Lacey stated. "He is by far the best I have ever had, and I mean, had!" Lacey bragged then called over to me with a sinful grin on her face. "If he is really in love with you how many times have you gone all the way with him?"
I stopped smiling and didn't answer. Owen and I had never 'gone all the way', and know these girls were now bringing to my attention that Owen had never even suggested such an act.
Lacey continued to taunt me by rubbing her hands on her slender body in a sexually suggestive way. "Have you ever spent a hot sweaty night muttering the words 'Oh Owen, faster, Oh Owen that's just right!'"
Her friends giggled at the reenactment.
My heart began to pound hard in my chest. I felt my temperature rise and anger set into my emotions.
Tucker joined in. "Cause if you haven't, Lacey has. She and Owen 'went all the way' for a week straight once." The club members laughed at me as my face showed that I hadn't been loved by Owen in 'that' way.
Rita teased. "Oh look, you're going to make Charity cry because Owen doesn't love her as much as she thought he did."
I was humiliated and hurt that Owen had never told me of Lacey, or of any other girl for that matter. I struggled for a response hoping to end the discussion I had fueled. "I am sure that was a long time ago."
"Oh, do you really think that?" Lacey searched through her scrap book and pulled out a color picture of her in a long, white gown and a young man standing by her side as her date.
She shoved the picture in my direction and I stared at the evidence. My stomach turned and there was no doubt the young man in the picture was Owen. Feelings of betrayal made my heart pound harder in my chest. I wanted to wish away the possibility of the two of them together as nothing more than a photo from the past, but the date on the banner in the picture behind them was quite clear, Debutante Ball 1968.
Lacey noticed the horror on my face and she used the moment to further ridicule me, "Face it, Charity. Your relationship with him is nothing more than a figment of your imagination."
I demanded my dignity. "My name is Scout!"
"Your name ought to be liar," Tucker suggested with a hint of enjoyment in her voice.
I couldn't believe any of this was really happening. I didn't respond. There was no need to give these girls anything else to ridicule me with, but they were relentless.
"Your name is Charity because that is all you are," Lacey added to the amusement of her friends. "Besides, even if Owen had given you a second look we all know that boys will be boys and a fling with the housemaid is just a passing phase."
I fumed, "I am not a housemaid, and Owen and I are not a phase!" My words even seemed hollow to me as the image from the photo returned to the forefront of my memory.
"Oh really?" Lacey laughed. "I highly doubt a millionaire like Owen would date a girl like you."
In the back of my mind I heard Dally's voice egging me on the way he often did with other guys in the gang who were looking for a good reason to fight. 'Come on Sissy. What'cha gonna do. Sit there like and idiot and let her tell you your trash or are you going to rearrange her face and give her what she's got coming to her'.
I shook away his voice and stood up for myself, figuratively and physically. "A girl like me? What is that supposed to mean?"
"Owen would never stay with a girl like you when he could have so much better." Lacey motioned to herself and her friends.
"You better shut up!" I yelled in warning.
"Poor little Charity case. Face it, when you get back to Tulsa you will have nothing more than the barren dirt you grew up in. You're a worthless little girl!"
"Shut up!" I yelled louder and tears frustration flooded my eyes as I prepared for a confrontation I never wanted to have.
"You're worthless!" Lacey sneered back at me. "Your probably only here because your mama's a whore and your daddy's nothing more than a lousy drunk! Charity case!"
Everything in my vision turned red with fury as I heard the false accusations. Nobody talks about my family like that! I snapped and in a rage I lunged at Lacey.
She screamed in horror. Then she grabbed a handful of my hair and tried to scratch at my face. I began to throw a few random punches hoping to make contact and release my aggression. One punch hit her square in the nose and the blood began to drain as she screamed and cried.
The other girls in the room backed away, unwilling to step in and help their friend as she tried to fight me off. Only Tucker thought to do anything as she cried out like a tattle tail. "I'm going to get Miss Lemon!"
Tucker bolted out the door and I backed away from my roommate. My vision cleared long enough for me to see the blood on her white shirt and satin bedspread. My ears heard Tucker screaming in the hall for Miss Lemon to come quickly. I heard the rustle of commotion as the girls in their rooms started to flood into the hallway.
My instincts told me it was best if I skinned out of there. I backed away from my victim and gathered my shoes from the floor. I ran out the door and down the back stairwell, only pausing long enough on the stairs to slide my tennis shoes on, untied. I bolted out the back door and took off running in the first direction I saw.
Realization of what I had done hit me like a brick wall. I had screwed up again and there was no turning back. The judge would put me up for adoption, for sure. The way I saw it, I had nothing to lose, so I ran through the dark night across the common grounds past the English and Arts building. I made my plan on the go. I would head into the woods and hop the train to Tulsa. Once I was there I would lay low in my neighborhood until I was eighteen. Then I would be free and with my family. For a crazy moment, the plan made perfect sense to me.
I was only a few dozen yards from the edge of the woods when my peripheral vision caught a large dark figure running towards me. Frightened, I tried to will my feet to go faster because I couldn't afford to get caught, it wasn't in my plan.
I entered into the woods and strained to see the unleveled terrain that was covered in twigs, dead branches and decaying leaves. My only focus was what was in front of me, and then I was unexpectedly hit from the back. Wham! A strong figure tackled me to the ground. The two of us went down in a heap.
In fright, I threw my arms to and fro and kicked my legs to get free. The man on top of me dodged my limbs and called out. "Scout! Scout, knock it off. It's me, Jackson. I'm not going to hurt you. Just stop kicking me."
The sound of Jackson's voice was familiar so I ceased my struggle as my tears of began to flow. "Just let me go Jackson. Just let me go."
"What? Where do you think you are going at this time of night?" He asked as he st back from me and worked to catch his breath.
I couldn't stop bawling, but I managed to choke up a few words. "To the train."
"What train?" Jackson asked with a questioning face.
I gathered my composure a bit more and threw my hand out to point in the direction I had been heading. "The train that runs through these woods, and I don't care where it takes me. Just anywhere but here."
Jackson cracked a small smile as he realized I didn't have sufficient information to make a good choice about my escape from the academy. "Scout, you'll never get to that train from here. There's one hell of a briar patch in the way, not to mention the river."
"Well… I have to try!" I cried out.
Jackson frowned and threw his warm arm around my shoulder. "Why? What's going on?"
"For starters, I just punched Lacey McGovern in the face, and I drew a lot of blood."
Jackson laughed a little and tried to cheer me up. "Well, she's had that coming for a few years now. You'll probably be the school hero for that one." I didn't laugh, so he thought of something else to say in an effort to lighten my mood. "Things aren't really that bad, Scout. Listen, the worst they will probably do is call your parents."
"Well they can't," I sobbed, "cause their dead. They've been dead for over a year."
Jackson paused a moment stunned by the revelation. All along he had assumed my parents dumped me at Ashford the way the other parents had done to their daughters. He didn't know about my scholarship, or James, and it never crossed his mind to consider my parents weren't alive. Jackson's laughter faded from his voice. "So, who takes care of you?"
"My brother Darry did, but not now. I screwed that up too." I bawled some more and wiped my nose on my sleeve. "You know those bruises I came in with? They were from an boy who was… he… he tried to …" I shook the vision of James' cold green eyes staring at me with his hands wrapped around my neck from my mind. "Darry tried to stop him, but James stabbed him and now my brother is in a hospital room and I can't be with him because the judge ordered me to be here. The judge hates us, so he sent me here and my twin brother is in the Barrrington home for boys. He said if we screwed up he would separate us for good, and I am sure this will count as a screw up. I've ruined everything!" I cried out,
Jackson's caring eyes stared at me for a few seconds as he searched for something to say. "I'm sure you had a good reason to be mad at Lacey. The judge will understand."
Now it was my turn to laugh. "You think he will understand that I just found out my boyfriend might be two timing me with Lacey McGovern and think that is a good reason?"
Jackson's eyes widened at the news and he nodded in agreement with me. He gently rubbed the side of my arm with his hand. "Ouch, that is a tough one. But if you ask me, he's the loser here. For as much as I know about you, you are a pretty groovy girl."
I barely heard his words as I rambled on, "To make matters worse, because of the stupid homesick rules here I can't even call him and ask him if any of this is true. I can't even call home to see if Darry is doing well, or to talk to my brothers." I wept hard. "I just want to be home. If I can't go home I just wish I could hear their voices, you know?"
Jackson did know and he perked up as an idea entered his mind. "I think I can help you. If you promise to brush yourself off and quiet down I think I know of a way you can call home, and no one here needs to know." He stood up and took my hand. With a strong heave he pulled me to my feet and I stood close to him. Without permission he wrapped his arms around me and held me close to his chest and talked in a low calm voice to help quench my sorrows. "I knew the day I met you that there was more to you than met the eye. You're no ordinary Ashford girl."
I took in a few steady breaths and smelled his cologne again. I took note of how warm and comforting his arms felt around me. It was the kind of affection I hadn't experienced in weeks. It was the kind of affection I needed and had grown accustomed to with my brothers, our friends, and Owen.
Jackson knelt down and tied my shoes for me then he led me through the dark to the back entrance of the English and Arts building. He unlocked the door and I looked up at him in a panic. "We are going to get caught being in here."
"No we won't. We'll keep the lights off and no one will ever know we were in here."
I accepted the response and the two of us climbed the stairs to and empty office on the third floor. Jackson grabbed the phone off the desk and handed it too me. "You can call anyone you want and talk for as long as you want."
I took the heavy phone in my arms and sat on the floor so I couldn't be seen through the window. I looked up at him. "Are you sure?"
"Sure, I'm sure. Who is ever going to know it was you?" The young man walked out of the office to leave me with some privacy.
I picked up the receiver of the phone and dialed my home telephone number first. More than anyone, I wanted to talk to Sodapop.
Anticipation filled my body as the phone rang twice, three times. By the eighth and ninth ring I felt sorrow replace my excitement. I considered letting the phone ring all night long, but there was another call I had to make. I pushed down on the receiver buttons and let them up again. Once I heard the dial tone I wiped my eyes, took in a few deep breaths, and dialed the Jasper house.
On the third ring I heard the receiver come up from it's cradle and the familiar voice of Mrs. Jasper greeted me. "Good evening, Jasper residence."
The sound of a voice from Tulsa made my throat tighten in sadness. When I heard Mrs. Jasper say hello a second time I knew I had to return the greeting. Weakly, I said, "hello, Mrs. Jasper. This is Scout Curtis. Is Owen able to come to the phone?"
"Oh, hello!" Her voice sang out, "just a minute darling and I will get him."
She often called me darling and the sound of the word made my hands begin to tremble. In the background, I heard the mother tell her son that Scout Curtis was on the phone. Owen picked up the receiver as fast as he could and anxiously asked,
"Hello?"
I couldn't respond.
"Scout is that you?"
The sound of his voice made me cry harder and I struggled to speak. "Owen?"
"Scout," his voice trembled a little with excitement, "I have missed you so much! I've tried to call you, but they said you can't receive phone calls or visitors until next week."
"Owen." Tears flooded my eyes and I had to catch my breath before I said anything else. "I need to ask you something."
"Are you okay? Scout, is something wrong?"
He had no idea how wrong things had gotten, but he should have and he was about to find out. "My roommate says she knows you. Do you know a girl named, Lacey McGovern?"
There was a seemingly guilty pause on the other side of the phone. Owen answered with apprehension. "Yes, I've met her."
I could barely handle the confirmation as I tried to hold back my sobs, but I couldn't hold back my desire for the truth. "Did you go all the way with her?"
My question was first answered with the same pause before Owen explained. "Scout, that was way before I ever met you. I love you Scout." Owen began to cry.
I cried harder. "If you loved me why were you at a dance with her this year?"
The pause this time was twice as long as the two before, and Owen could be heard on the other end sobbing. "Scout, I can explain."
The proof that Lacey wasn't lying stabbed me through the heart. I let my hand and the receiver collapse into my lap. Faintly, I could hear Owen crying and begging for me to listen to him, but my heart was crushed and it couldn't handle any more pain, so I reached over and put the receiver back into the cradle cutting off communication with my first true love. I sobbed out loud in pain filled gasps.