Chapter Twenty One
I sat back against the wall, pulled my knees into my chest and cried out in pain. Between gasps I tried to figure out how I could have been so blind. How could Owen have taken me in his arms and told me that he loved me when I wasn't the only girl in his life? How could he have lied to me?
A warm hand firmly grabbed my shoulder. I didn't respond, but Jackson knew he didn't need my permission to come closer. I appreciated the comfort, but what I really needed was my family. Any one of my brothers would do.
"Do you want me to call anyone else for you?" Jackson said softly.
I hadn't fully heard his question because I was still thinking of Owen when I responded. "I don't understand. How could he have lied to me all this time? I never thought he was that kind of boy. How could any of this be true?"
Jackson let me cry a little longer then he leaned in and wrapped his arm around me. "Do you want to try to call your brother again?"
I nodded my head and pulled the phone closer to me. As I pulled the numbers on the phone I wished hard that Sodapop would be at home. I hoped he would have the perfect words for me, because he had been cheated on too. I finished dialing the number and Jackson and I listened to the phone ring and ring and ring. With each shrill bell my hope faded, time passed, and my tears dried.
After minutes of waiting, Jackson grabbed the receiver I had clutched in my fist. "I don't think he's home; is there anyone else you want to call?"
I shook my head no. I would have liked to call Ponyboy or the hospital or even Steve but couldn't remember the numbers. There was no one else to talk to.
Jackson placed the receiver back onto the cradle stood up to put the phone back on the desk exactly where he had found it. He looked down at me. "I'm really sorry about all of this. It just doesn't seem fair for you." He checked his watch and offered his hand to help me to my feet. "Even worse, I better get back to my job before people start looking for me. There's even a good chance they may be looking for me to send me out to look for you."
I wiped the last of the tears from my eyes, sniffled back my emotions and grabbed the young man's hand. He pulled me to my feet and into a hug. I hugged him back tightly then let him loose. Quietly, I spoke, "Thanks."
"No problem." Jackson grabbed my shoulder and led me out into the dark hallway and down the steps. "I just wish there was something else I could do."
I whimpered, "You've already done more than you have had to."
Jackson took a chance at some lighthearted humor. "I've always been a sucker for a damsel in distress." I smiled and Jackson stopped at the back door. Slowly, he opened it and peeked outside. The night had grown dark and no one was around. He said, "You head out the back door. I'm going to wait a few minutes and then leave out the front door."
I nodded my head and looked back at the maintenance man. "Thank you for letting me cry on your shoulder." He smiled back and I ran out the door and down the stone steps in an effort not to be seen leaving the building.
I walked across the deserted campus. I knew that my fate back at Covington House had been determined without me since I hadn't been there to defend myself. I succumbed to the fact that it was time to move on and face the music.
As I walked along the street lantern lit sidewalk back to my House I tortured myself with thoughts about my phone call with Owen. His words were so unexpected. I was so sure that Lacey was nothing more than a liar. Thinking about the betrayal made my throat tighten in pain, but I stopped myself from bawling again. I told myself I was done crying for the night and it was time to be tuff. I tried to convince myself that losing Owen wasn't the end of the world. I had lost more important people than him and still carried on, so I knew that after time my wounds would heal.
It was late when I discovered that the front door to Covington House was locked. I had no choice but to ring the bell and begin my punishment. I heard the door buzzer announce that I had arrived and Mr. Donaldsen opened the door. I peeked up at him, he glared at me, and I knew that things were going to be bad. Sighing heavy, I lowered my head and walked into the foyer.
"Pray tell, child!" Miss Lemon jumped from the davenport and ranted, "Where in God's green earth have you been? You are in a world of trouble young lady. Whatever were you thinking? Striking another girl is simply inexcusable behavior. What would inspire you to do such a thing?"
My eyes were still red and swollen from of crying as I mumbled back with an unexpected arrogance, "That's how we handle things on my side of Tulsa."
Miss Lemon's face froze and she grew silent. She remembered her comment to me and for a moment she felt a tinge of responsibility.
Mr. Donaldsen called out to me. "Miss Curtis, where you came from is no excuse. Your behavior tonight is simply intolerable, and will not go by unpunished."
"Yes, Sir" I said softly. I never expected to avoid reprimand.
"First of all, you and Miss McGovern will learn to get along," Mr. Donaldsen demanded, "because both of you will remain as roommates and both of you will be spending the next two weeks together on evening kitchen duty. Is that understood?"
"Yes, sir."
The Dean continued, "We spoke to the other girls and we know of the harsh words that Lacey said to you. Treatment like that of another student is completely cruel and uncalled for. For that we are sorry. She has been a student here for a long time and she should know better."
"Yes, Sir" I struggled to keep a tiny grin from appearing on my face. I loved the fact that Lacey's instigative behavior did not go unnoticed. Neither did my grin.
"I don't know what you find funny about this." Mr. Donaldsen scolded me, "I am not finished with your consequences. For your inexcusable and violent behavior you will be placed on room confinement until Monday morning and your visitor and phone privileges have been revoked for two additional weeks."
"What? Two weeks?" I yelled out, "you can't do that! You know my situation. You know I haven't talked to any of my brother in the hospital for almost a month!"
"Young lady, lower your voice." Miss Lemon reprimanded me.
"Miss Curtis," Mr. Donaldsen began, "regardless of what you think, I did consider your situation. That is why we did not have you expelled, as we would have if you were a traditional Ashford girl. Furthermore, as a favor to you and your situation we have decided not to alert anyone in Tulsa of this incident. You should also know that Lacey McGovern's father is the President of the Board of Directors here at Ashford Academy. He handpicked you for the academy's first scholarship and he handpicked you to room with his daughter. He understands that she can be harsh and he forgives you for what you have done, but he won't be as forgiving if it happens again, and neither will I. Understood?"
I nodded and felt ashamed for my snicker.
"Very well," Mr. Donaldsen said, "you will probably be happy to hear that Miss McGovern will be spending a few nights in the infirmary, so you will have your room to yourself. I suggest you spend your time alone time to make some personal changes to help you get along better with Lacey and the other girls in this House."
"Yes, Sir." I replied.
Mr. Donaldsen looked to Miss Lemon. "I have nothing further. Why don't you see Miss Curtis to her room for the night and I will see myself out."
Miss Lemon smiled politely. "Thank you for coming to tend to this incident. Enjoy what is left of your night."
Miss Lemon motioned for me to follow her up the stairs. On our way up she looked me over and noted, "You are filthy. Grab your bathing supplies and wash up before bed."
We reached the hallway on the third floor. Purposely, I kept my head and vision low so I didn't make eye contact with any of the girls on my floor who were in their rooms with their doors wide open.
I did as the housemother directed and after my shower she saw me to my room and instructed me that I was not to leave the room or to allow any other girl inside.
"Yes Ma'am," I answered as I walked into my room.
Miss Lemon stopped in the doorway. "I certainly hope you realize that Ashford girls carry themselves with poise and self restraint. Anything less is simply unacceptable." The woman didn't wait for my response as she pulled my door shut tight.
I stared at the empty room and was thankful I wouldn't have to see my roommate again for the night. I definitely needed some time to cool off. I crossed the room and notice the picture of her and Owen at the dance was laying face up on her bed. I fought the urge to shred the photo into tiny pieces, but I knew better than that and this time I was going to listen to reason.
To get the two of them off my mind I walked over to a large wall mirror of Lacey's and looked at my reflection. I thought hard about Mr. Donaldsen's directions to make changes to help me deal with Ashford girls. I knew the best way to do that was to stay as far away from them as I could then one solution formed in my mind.
Looking around the room my eyes stopped on a wooden box lying on the top of Lacey's desk. I eyed the large silver scissors resting just under a wooden ruler. I walked over and picked up the cold steel utensil. The sharp blades shimmered in the light.
I walked to my bathing supplies basket and grabbed my hairbrush. I ran the bristles through my long wet hair so it hung as straight as possible. I stepped over to the mirror and looked at my long hair one last time. No doubt it was time for a change.
I locked my fingers into the shears and opened the blades. I raised the sharp edges as high as my jaw line and held the wet hair inside. I looked into the mirror and stared back at myself. My eyes dared my fingers to do the deed. I hesitated, and then squeezed my fingers together. I could hear the zip of the blades cutting through hundreds of strands of hair. The long severed ends fell across my shoulder and onto the floor. There was no turning back - I was committed.
When I finished chopping off the majority of my hair I put Lacey's shears back into her wooden box where they were found. I grabbed my brush and pulled it through my damp strands of hair. Gone was the need for long brush strokes. I finished the chore in half the time it took me before. That was exactly the change I wanted. Being able to get ready in the morning in half the time meant less time with Covington House girls.
I took a minute to stare at my image in the mirror. The new short haircut accentuated my blue eyes and revealed the sculptured features of my face making me look more like Sodapop than anyone else in the family. I didn't think I looked anything like my old self, but I liked it. I liked the thought of a new start.
I cleaned up the floor and tossed the loose hair into the garbage can. Then I turn off the light and slipped into the covers on my bed. I stared up at the ceiling and the evening's events flooded back into my mind. I thought about how wonderful it would have been to have the opportunity to talk to Sodapop, but no matter when I called he wasn't home. I wished I had Ponyboy's phone number with me. I would definitely have called him at Barrington. I missed him so much my heart began to ache just thinking about him. Then Owen entered my mind. I couldn't believe how absolutely perfect the two of us had seemed together. Everyone in the family loved him. I loved him and that was what hurt the most. Even though I didn't want to, I cried myself to sleep that night.
In the morning I woke to a knocking on my door. Miss Lemon walked in before I could mutter a word. I remained on my bed and watched her walk towards me with a plate of food in her hand, fully expecting her reprimand from the night before to continue, but the morning seemed to have brought a new sunshine to her demeanor.
"All the other girls have gone to breakfast. It's time for you to rise and shine like I know you can."
I sat up in bed and watched the white of her eyes widen in surprise. "Child! What have you done to your beautiful hair?"
"I cut it," I said simply.
Miss Lemon looked around the room for something then back to me. "But why?"
"Because I wanted to make a change."
"Well, you certainly did." Miss Lemon said, still in awe over the idea of a girl cutting her hair without the services of a beautician. Miss Lemon then sat down on my bed and handed me a plate full of scrambled eggs and sausage.
Reluctantly, I took the plate. "Thank you, but I am not hungry."
Softly she responded, "I didn't bring that plate to cure your hunger. I brought it to help you keep your strength."
I looked at the plate and then back to my housemother. "Really, I am not hungry."
Miss Lemon looked at me with a soft smile I had not seen on her face in the past. "Scout, you're not the first Covington House girl to have her heart broken by a careless young man. I've helped to mend many hearts in the past decades and the first step in making it all better is a good breakfast."
The woman's attention to my needs brought a tiny smile to my face. I lifted the fork, but could not bring myself to eat.
Miss Lemon took notice, "Scout, I am not leaving this room until you have finished that plate of food." Then she nodded toward my breakfast.
I looked at the scrambled eggs and thought back to my stubbornness with Darry and Soda when Ponyboy had fled to Windrixville. I had gone days refusing to eat, but it didn't help the pain I felt. Maybe Miss Lemon was right. I lifted a fork full of eggs off of my plate and into my mouth.
Miss Lemon smiled and reached out and put her hand on my knee. "Scout, I must apologize to you for my inconsiderate behavior. It was wrong of me to make assumptions about you because of where you were raised. For my mistake, I am so sorry."
I heard the apology and nearly choked on my second bite of eggs. The apology was so unexpected that I didn't know what to say.
Miss Lemon continued. "My dear, the truth is Miss McGovern has been a thorn in my paw now for quite sometime. And maybe deep down I was hoping you'd do exactly what you did. That was wrong for me to do to Lacey and wrong for me to do to you. Can you forgive me?
"Yes Ma'am." I said quickly without thought.
"Thank you." The lady smiled with relief. There was a long pause between us before she spoke again. "I want you to know that even after hearing about what Lacey said to you Mr. Donaldsen and I did not divulge any of the truth about your parents or your situation. We feel that is for you to share when you are ready."
I nodded my head to let her know I had heard her and I took another bite of my breakfast to avoid having to speak.
Miss Lemon looked at me approving of my choice to finish my food. "I'll leave you to your breakfast. I will return in a while for your dishes." The lady rose to her feet and took a few steps towards the door before turning back to me. "I do hope you plan to tell the girls here a little more about yourself. I think it would really help you to make a few friends. Will you give it some consideration?"
I looked up at the lady. "Sure, I'll consider it."
She smiled with pleasure. "Good. Remember, no one in your room today and no one out. I will come and get you for restroom breaks and meal. Understood?"
I nodded. "Understood."
Once she was gone a set my breakfast plate down on my desk and picked up a pen and paper. Miss Lemon may have wanted me to put this behind me, but what I planned to do was put it down on paper. I had to tell someone of my misery so I started a letter to the only person I could share the truth with.
Dear Ponyboy,
I fear I have ruined everything…