A Second Chance
O lamps of fire!
in whose splendors
the deep caverns of feeling,
once obscure and blind,
now give forth, so rarely, so exquisitely,
both warmth and light to their Beloved.
Regina cleared her throat.
Her eyes were trying to adjust to the dark box into which she was sitting, only shadows from the candles providing any form.
All she heard a loud silence, and she asked herself for the tenth time why she was even here.
What the hell…..
"I…I don't believe in God," she spoke into the void. "I don't want any forgiveness." She swallowed, "but I want to talk to someone who won't blab, and this is my only option."
To her surprise, Regina heard Friar Tuck chuckle. "Happy to oblige."
"You're not allowed to tell," she felt she needed to explain.
"No, I am not."
Awkward.
"Sorry to be the first…"
Another chuckle, "No, you're not the first. And you won't be the last."
Oh. What kind of crap did he listen to in here, then?
But only silence met her.
Finally it was broken, "Is there something you'd like to say?"
"What?" His voice startled her.
"You're supposed to speak, I listen."
Yes.
Speak.
"Well," she began, "I have sinned. I've murdered hundreds, ruined countless lives." She bit her lip.
Waiting.
"We've all ruined lives and many of us have killed," the friar said.
"But not so many as I."
"Do the numbers make it any less tragic?"
Damn.
"We're here only to talk about you. Don't compare yourself to others," he prompted gently.
"I…"
She what?
"I've been given a second chance," Regina said, "but I don't believe I deserve it."
Silence.
But then, the silence echoed back to her. She heard Robin's voice.
"My fiancé believes everyone gets one."
"He's right," was the reply.
"That's not fair though, is it?" Regina asked.
"It wouldn't be fair if everybody didn't get one."
More silence.
Regina tried again, "Would that be just?"
Silence.
Darkness.
"Everyone not only gets a second chance," Friar Tuck said, "but deserves one. And not just a second. A third, a fourth, even a fifth."
Regina shook her head.
"What does a second chance mean to you?" he prodded.
She thought about that. And then the truth came out, "It means nothing because I don't believe in it. The darkness amplified the silence, "And that's why I can't marry him yet."
The silence stretched now.
"Is there anything else?" Friar Tuck asked.
And Regina knew, she knew then, knew with a sudden clarity that she had never before experienced.
She knew!
"No," she said, almost in elation, "there isn't anything else."
"Go in peace."
Regina slowly stood up and left the box.
She went from the chapel to the courtyard and there saw Robin, chatting with Neal.
"Robin?" she called. He gave a farewell to Neal and came over to her.
"Good afternoon, Beloved." He gave her a peck on the lips.
"I don't believe!" she blurted out.
Robin's brows knit, "Regina, what are you taking about?"
"I don't believe in a second chance!"
"Of course you get a second chance. We've been through this. Every …"
"I don't," she interrupted, grasping his shoulders. "I don't believe in it."
His blue eyes bore into her brown.
"I don't believe in it," she repeated.
Robin looked down, for the briefest of moments, then returned to her. "Very well, Regina."
She threw her arms around him, her head tucked in his shoulder, "Very well, Beloved," he whispered in her ear. "Let's start from there."
"I don't believe in it," Regina whispered back, relief flooding her.
And saying it, she had never felt better in her life.