Shotgun Serenade
5. Gentlemen
Harley left Joker in her office, telling the guards outside that she needed something from her locker. They nodded; they were used to her habitual activity and thought nothing of it.
When she reached the locker corridor, she did her usual routine, taking out a water bottle and drinking from it. Next she looked at herself in the mirror and routed around her leather handbag for her lipstick and mascara. The dark red lipstick was applied first, her eyes watching the corner of the mirror, where the ward's exit was, which was guarded by a strongly built man.
Joker hadn't explained anything to her about if they got caught - Maybe he knew they wouldn't? His escape plan was exceptionally intricate and fool proof on an intellectual level - she was proud of him for coming up with it.
Next she fixed her eye makeup, chucking the mascara into her handbag when she was done. She felt around the pockets inside the bag, checking her Cadillac's keys were inside - they were. She bit her bottom lip to stop herself from doing a smug smile.
She yawned, casually taking off her white lab coat, sneakily removing the I.D from the chest pocket before she let it drift to the marble floor on the opposite side of the corridor.
Harley shrugged on her usual suit-type jacket over her plain t-shirt. She rolled up her sleeves, since she needed to keep her eye on the time as she left the ward - it would be annoying if she hadn't worn her watch today.
Next, with her I.D neatly tucked between her fingers in a subtle fashion, she slung her handbag over her shoulder, innocently forgetting about the lab coat behind her as she slammed her locker shut. She sauntered out of the locker corridor and paused before turning the corner, bracing herself for the encounter with the guard. 'Just remember your short course in gymnastics and martial arts...' she told herself, blinking when she remembered that she could indeed knock this huge, gargantuan guard out.
Harley smirked, holding the devious smile as she swayed her hips over to the guard.
Suddenly she felt like she'd found herself.
Maybe a life of adrenaline and crime was meant for her?
Before the man could question her, she jumped up and drop-kicked him in the chin - it must have been even more painful due to her high heeled boots; he was sent flying back into the glass behind him, slumping down in front of the clear door. Ruby blood dribbled out of his mouth and trailed down to his neck - his jaw was most likely dislocated at the very least...
Harley squealed, dragging her closed fist down through the air in celebration.
"Yesss!"
Before she could compliment herself, she heard the heavy footsteps of someone running from behind her; these sounds were followed by a harmony of alarms ringing out, and the shouts of guards or patients crying out that someone was 'escaping, escaping!'
She gasped as she heard the skidding of rubber soles and she turned around.
The escapee bumped right into her, cursing her as a 'dumb broad' before snatching hold of her hand and kicking the guard out of the way of the exit.
Harley squeaked as he yanked her forward. She flipped the I.D card in slippery fingers and lifted it up between finger and thumb, swiping it in the scanner. The LED light beneath it lit up green and automatically opened the glass door. The Joker giggled and clutched her wrist, dragging her out of the door before she could protest about how fierce his grip was.
They both began to sprint over the grassy land outside the Asylum, heading for the staff car park. Harley's heart was beating so hard against her ribcage that she thought that her bones would collapse because of it, yet she adored the feeling of excitement mixed with absolute terror for the situation she was in.
And it was all thanks to the Joker.
The grounds were surrounded by barbed wire fencing, meaning that somehow they would have to climb over it to reach the black Eldorado in the parking lot outside the Asylum grounds (they had to bear in mind that the Asylum would soon be in lockdown too). Soon, the couple reached this particular fence and Harley was panting furiously, pausing as Joker grinned at her, not a single tired breath leaving him.
Seriously, he wasn't even a tiny bit out of breath after that three-hundred metre sprint?!
"Which car's yours?" he asked, grabbing both of her wrists and probably leaving red marks from his intense grip.
"The... El - Eldorado - " she replied breathlessly, yet she instantly found her breath again when he lifted her up and threw her up onto his back; she gasped in a rush of thick humid air.
"Ooh a Cadillac. Now I'm jealous! Old fashioned but I like it." Joker mused, winking at her over his shoulder and then laughing as his slender fingers curled to form claws. Harley clung to his back for dear life as he launched them onto the mesh fence; her eyes were staring up at the lethal barbed wire at the top, which was ever growing closer as the Joker climbed higher, grin still glued onto his face.
She had to admit, although she was terrified of what awaited the two of them at the top of the fence... she couldn't help noticing that Joker was stronger than he looked! He was so tall and slim (not exactly stick thin, but he was thinner than the Batman's other infamous villains, especially Penguin...), she was confused at how he was able to lift her up like a feather... Maybe he worked out?
She was blushing now, realizing that thinking about whether he had a good torso under the scientist lab coat and orange overalls really wasn't assisting her situation whatsoever.
The barbed wire was so close now, that even the Joker began to shrink his grin a little.
He slowed down, pausing when the wire was right in front of his face. He lifted a hand up to reach the highest mesh diamond and brushed the edge of the barbed stuff as a consequence, a bloody gash now over the top of his hand. Harley gasped, looking at the red liquid slowly rippling out of the open wound, noticing that his veins seemed to look even bluer than any other ordinary person... Maybe it was the paleness of his skin... or maybe he used to be a junkie...
"Oh my god!" she cried, feeling faint at the sight.
He rolled his eyes, "Get over it Doll Face, we've got bigger problems..."
His bloodied hand removed itself from the fence, a red stained finger pointing down towards the bottom of the fence. Her eyes followed the direction his finger pointed in...
A few guards were calling up to them both, tasers and tranquilizer guns in their hands. In the distance they could hear the rough, harsh barks of dogs and the scampering of running guards... or police. It felt like it was night from the dim sky above them, but in actual fact it was just after midday, meaning that less guards would be around... or so Joker had thought.
"W-What do we do?" Harley whispered, her body shaking against his.
"Just hold onto me, Sugar Bumps, just hold on..."
She did as he said, squeezing her eyes shut when she felt the fence wobble as more weight was added to it. Joker looked away from her, the scheming grin back on his face; he knew there was a guard beginning to climb the fence and waited patiently, feeling the flimsy mesh quake every now and then.
"Stop this Joker!" the guard cried pathetically, almost reaching the escaped patient. "It's not fair putting Dr Quinzel through this too!"
Joker didn't move, nor did he turn his attention to the guard who was now by his side, giving him a pleading look. The guard held out his hand, noticing the grin falling from the villain's face; his face fell into a sorrowful shame when he finally realized what he'd done.
"Please Joker."
He turned his green eyes onto the pathetic man, the mock sadness in them now warping into pure evil.
And the grin spread onto his face.
"Why, since you said please..."
The Joker took one hand from the fence and latched onto the guard's arm, not letting go - he just dug his nails deeply into the guard's armour, the sharp grip needling through to his soft flesh.
The guard screamed out in pain, causing Harley to open her eyes and smile lightly. She was beginning to almost... enjoy his evil.
"Ahahahahahahaha!"
"Please Joker! Don't do this!"
"Oh, why ever not? Is it hurting you? That's too bad..."
"Please damn it! Lemme go!"
He stopped laughing, raising an eyebrow.
"Sure."
He allowed his hand to let go of the guard's arm, making him fall down slightly. The guard screamed and his eyes rolled down to look at the ground which was zooming closer to him... Until it stopped.
The Joker caught hold of the bottom of the man's neck, fingers squeezing tightly around the thick tree trunk airway.
A gathering of guards were below the scene, all of them watching in shock and fright as they observed what was happening in front of them. The GCPD were nearing the group, all of them slowing down in horror once they saw who it was escaping.
Joker grinned, taking one look down at the goodies on the ground, loosening his grip. The man yelped and slid down through Joker's hand. The crowd gasped in unison, only feeling foolish when Joker caught the top of the man's neck this time and erupted with maniacal laughter.
Harley wasn't shocked like she felt she should've been, and instead found herself smirking into the Joker's back, hiding her true feelings on the matter.
"Ahaha! You didn't think I was actually going to drop him did you?!" he shouted down at the crowd joyously, cackling as the response was silent. "I mean how could you think I was capable of such a - "
The man was flung up into the air with the Joker's single hand, the screaming guard flailing his arms as he went soaring into the sky, quickly landing on the barbed wire just above the escapee's head.
"And that, gentlemen, is how to leave Arkham Asylum with a bang!"
Joker giggled and climbed over the now impaled guard, who was dead and lying flat over the barbed wire. He managed to hop onto his two feet, his arms holding onto Harley behind him out of instinct. He was still chuckling, trying to hide his surprise when he felt his Harley sniggering silently into his back.
Without another clever comment, just incessant giggles, the Joker leaped from the impaled guard, causing a riot-like roar to come from the crowd of cops and guards.
He bent his knees when the soles of his Doc Martens hit the tarmac of the parking lot. He coolly swivelled back around to face the outraged men, bowing now that his show had come to an end.
"Until next time gentlemen..."
He faced the opposite direction and held onto Harley again, running like the wind even with another person on his back.
They weren't bad as a double act actually... Now that Joker was beginning to relay the events of this escape, he quite enjoyed being in a sticky, dangerous situation with her... She made it seem more... fun. Even when she hadn't really had much to do, just her secretly laughing when he was winding up the authorities had made it for him.
She got his jokes.
He smirked to himself, eyes now searching for the black Cadillac. It wasn't that hard to find... it was a unique car compared to all the other crap shack's that the other Asylum workers drove.
She had style.
The Cadillac was parked in the corner of the parking lot, luckily fairly close to the exit barrier. He slowed down and let go of her; her body that had been apparently pressed into him in a risqué manner, gently slid off his back, her two little feet hitting the ground as she landed.
She emptied her bag onto the ground, snatching up the keys and walking around to the driver's side...
"Whoa whoa whoa!" Joker exclaimed loudly, briskly strutting towards her with his hands out by his sides. "What the hell do you think you're doing?! Can you drive recklessly?! I don't think so baby! Now gimme the keys!"
Harley sighed and threw the keys, he caught them in one swift action.
Well, he had a point. She was a pretty crap driver, she found it hard to drive in a straight line for god's sake. Hold on... Had he guessed that she was shit at driving?! Wow. He was good.
She quickly jogged around to the other side of the car, forgetting her makeup that was abandoned on the tarmac. Joker was already inside the Eldorado, in his element when he fired the engine up.
She opened the door and hopped inside, taking off her jacket before slamming the door shut.
"I wonder why I never stole one of these..." he murmured, causing her to laugh at his little boy expression when he looked over the car's interior.
He turned to her with both hands on the steering wheel, grinning inanely.
"Ready?" he asked huskily, eyes now displaying something close to an admiration of her.
"Yes," she replied, leaning closer to him.
He studied her eyes, glaring in fascination of how she could be attracted to him... not that he would say that he wasn't attractive, because he thought he was, it's just no one ever saw it.
Well... until now.
Her lips brushed his, like it was the first time they'd ever even attempted to kiss... but now... the feeling was different, like something had conjured up inside of him and suddenly, he feared it.
For once, he feared something.
Her lips began to tease his and before she could do anything more, he winced and turned his head away, facing the rest of the parking lot in front of him.
Harley blinked in confusion and sat back in her seat, frowning in hurtful rejection.
Without another word, the Joker grinned and stepped on the gas, the car rumbling through the free aisle between the long row of cars; and then the Cadillac revved some more and smashed through the automatic barrier.
Harley laughed at his reckless driving, suddenly dropping her grudge about him rejecting her kiss.
With the Joker, she could never be mad at him forever...
She knew he would always make it up to her in the end.