Shotgun Serenade
"Where are we gonna go?" Harley asked, eyes wandering about over the blurred surroundings they went past.
It had been about half an hour since Harley had first gone to her locker, but to the two of them in the car, it had only felt like five minutes. She hated to say it, but she loved the rush she got out of what they were doing...
Joker shrugged, grinning when he turned the wheel to the left and cut up another pissed off driver. The driver made an angry fist and shook it out of the driver window. The car behind them sped up and sounded its horn.
"What's so funny?" she asked with a smile, as his laughter swooped around her.
"Your - hahahahahaha - apartment." he laughed out, abruptly turning off into another lane and joining the Gotham Expressway, finding the situation far too amusing.
"Excuse me?! By the way, I really need to go - "
"Sorry I missed the services back there, you'll just have to wait until we get to your place. Sorry 'bout this Sweets but you're either gonna have to crap in a bag here, or hold it in until you erupt like Vesuvius!"
He giggled hysterically at his joke, and she managed a laugh too; Harley relayed their escape in her mind over and over again, always wondering how quickly the situation had escalated; first she'd admitted her love for him and then the next minute, she was clinging to the back of him as he sprinted over the car park with escape sirens and angry cries bellowing after them... and then she'd actually stuck with him!
And... he hadn't told her to get lost or actually killed her yet either. Which she had been half expecting him to do.
... He could still do it.
"Wait! So we're going to my penthouse apartment?!"
"Yep Sugar, we sure are. Unless... you'd rather be in that smelly, trash filled dumpster in the East End... ?" he propositioned darkly, veering his gaze on her rather than watching the motorway in front of him.
For once she felt scared by him, but she still kind of liked it...
"Umm... no thanks. I think my apartment's good."
He nodded and gave her a wink, focusing back on the road ahead. He slammed his boot onto the accelerator and whizzed past every car or truck in the most precarious, dangerous way possible.
Yet the car always managed to survive. He was so recklessly lucky.
Harley began to notice that he'd not really looked at her much during the time they'd been travelling from Arkham... She was deep in thought when he wasn't talking to her, pondering on whether he loved her back...
Sure, she'd admitted her feelings. But he'd never said anything remotely similar back... Maybe he just wanted to break out, have a quickie and then get back on with his villainous schemes; And then, that would mean Harley would probably end up in Arkham herself for assisting a laughing psychopath to escape, while losing her marbles by doing so.
"Sweets?" Joker piped up, lifting his eyebrows at her like he was slightly concerned over something. "If there's a little blue light flashing next to the fuel gage that means it's got plenty of gas, right?!"
She shook her head. "Nope. Empty."
Both their eyes widened as the car began to slow down slightly.
"Shit." they hissed in unison.
Luckily, since Joker was a reckless yet (well, sometimes) lucky guy, the two of them soon rolled into the nearest fuel station, with only a smidgen of diesel left in the tank.
Harley took off her seatbelt and turned to open the car door.
"Uh uh uh!"
Joker grabbed her side and pulled her back to face him, face close to hers.
"I haven't told you any of my rules yet, but this is hardly the time for boring rules so... Here's today's plan of action, which is something we'll need for every little thing we do in public."
Harley stayed quiet, letting out a shaky breath when he let go of her side and smiled that sly, snide grin. He was still so so close.
"Okay so here's the plan for gas stations from now on: You fill up the tank, in the sweetest normal way possible - though you are sweet anyway so we shouldn't have a problem with that - and give the nozzle a tap three times inside the tank to show me that it's full. Then, after the third tap, I'll get out and casually stroll into the station store. As I'm doing this, you will have climbed into the boot of the car for your own protection... and of course to jump out at any curious ass kissers that walk past, eh, you never know what busybodies are out Pumpkin!"
Harley leaned in and gave him a hug, nuzzling into his chest. He raised a brow and let her embrace him, but was a little too tightly trapped to actually free his own arms to do the same thing back.
"Ya so clever Joker, ya know that?" she squealed, giggling into his orange overalls and her science lab coat.
"Ha! Of course I do you dumb blonde! And... don't call me by my full name baby, it doesn't suit you to say that."
"Hm. Okay, I guess I'll have to think of sump'in when you get back from the store then, huh?"
He grinned, edges of his red stained mouth reaching each of his ears.
"Yes Harl, yes you will! Or... dumpster..."
Joker laughed evilly and shooed her out of the car, insisting that she did everything quickly, but not so fast that she didn't keep to the plan. While she filled the tank with gas, Joker decided to take a closer look around the inside of the car.
He opened the dashboard's compartment, making curious 'Ooh's and Ah's' when his eyes laid upon each thing inside. There were some cigarettes, a packet of gum, a mirror (presumably for makeup) and some music tapes from the eighties or nineties (since the Cadillac had a tape player rather than a CD or iPod dock).
He narrowed his eyes and shoved everything he found into the pockets of the lab coat, slamming the plastic door shut before Harley opened the door to get back inside.
"Won't be long Doll Face, and... get in the boot before I tie you up and shove you in there myself!"
She gasped and nodded, doing as he said immediately.
She groaned as she opened her boot and collapsed inside the cramped area, lifting her arm up to close the lid on herself. It was dark inside, and smelled of antique furniture, mixed with the scent of aftershave. Well, at least the aftershave part smelt okay...
When her eyes and body began to adjust to the darkness inside there, and the claustrophobic area she was now crammed into; a series of horrified screams rang out from the surrounding scene around the car. She swore she heard someone praying for mercy before she heard a loud thud, like the sound of a heavy body hitting the concrete ground.
Harley closed her eyes, finding that doing this was helping her to focus on listening.
Cars, trucks and vans were revving up all at the same time, screeching away at a rushed pace whilst the sound of running footsteps was delicately somewhere in the background.
She held a hand over her mouth to stop herself giggling.
Is this what happened when Joker went anywhere?!
She was beginning to enjoy visiting the gas station now... and anywhere to be honest, because normal, boring things, would now be a lot more different and fun now the world's most threatening villain was her love interest... Not that, he probably saw himself that way.
Harley sighed, telepathically sending him a "Hurry Up" and wishing that she could climb out of the storage space soon, her knees were beginning to cramp up.
Like he'd heard her, the sound of his boots pounding the floor as he jogged over to her were heard as a blood curdling scream was let out from a way away.
Light flooded the boot and she shouted in protest, shielding her eyes and skin like a vampire. She felt dizzy and tired, struggling to open her eyes.
"Relax Sweets," Harley heard her Joker whisper, firm yet pleasing hands clutching onto her jacket to pull her up into a sitting position. "I need you to slump your shoulders."
She groaned and did as he said.
"Good girl. Now I have to say, that this is a rarity for me, so you're in for a treat!" he said joyously, with the most inhuman enthusiasm ever. "I'm going to give you a pre-emptive apology for what I'm about to do, because I know you'll probably want to chop a certain part of me off for me doing this to you but... There's no other way I can do this, if I don't there's no way we'll be together Pumpkin."
Harley made a 'huh?!' noise and grumbled something incomprehensible to him, which he clearly ignored.
"I'm sorry Pumpkin Pie..."
The next Harley felt was a stabbing ache in her neck, the feel of the cold metal needle piercing into her clear white skin. Her vision became blurred until finally she was in total darkness, like the lid of the boot had been shut again.
Her muscles had gone limp and felt like they were clumps of coal with nothing to shovel them up.
Yet, even though in her mind she was scared in her now dream-like state, of what would come after this...
She knew that she would not be dead, for she could feel and hear the only muscle that hadn't gone limp...
Her heart.
It was kicking and thumping in her chest as normal, just at the usual sleeping rate that she always had whenever she was relaxed.
She wondered why Joker had done this... Drugged her in order for the two of them to be together? Ha, like that made sense. It was nonsense, just like Joker was... and for that reason she let go of her worry, feeling her brain feel lighter and calmer because of the loss of another burden.
As much as she hated the fact he'd manipulated her into getting into the boot, so that he could stick a tranquilizer in her neck... she couldn't stay mad at him.
Well, it could've been worse right?
She'd could've ended up dead.