Shotgun Serenade
7. Morning
Her eyes were closed, her body still, heavy and frozen cold. Her eyes slowly unveiled the world of her bedroom's coffee covered walls and cheap second hand furniture. A strange smell of aniseed and antiseptic hit her, making her gag and then cough at the strong waft swirling around the whole of the room.
Harley groaned, feeling her muscles relax out of the fearful tension they had been in, allowing her to lift her body up in a sitting position against the pillows behind her.
Her vision was sharper... she must have slept for a while longer than her usual. By the looks of it, it was early morning. She knew this from the bright strips of yellowed light bursting through the small gaps in her office blinds.
She frowned, attempting to recall how she got here.
Clearly she wasn't meant to ... She couldn't remember anything before, other than feeling something jamming into her neck and then... nothing. Just sleep.
She moaned, eyes laying on something green and rectangular by the bedside table to her right. A look of confusion passed over her, and then she scrambled over the messy covers, fighting her way to the other side of her bed, dizziness still flooding her as a mental obstacle.
"Wait a minute..." she whispered, glaring at the tank top and little shorts she was wearing. "These aren't my pyjamas!"
Ignoring this disturbing note, she carried on and grabbed the neon green card. It reminded her of something... yet she couldn't place what. She brought the note right in front of her sharp gaze.
It's a shame you were knocked out, so you never heard my goodbye... But who cares? I'll probably see you 'round soon enough. Also, you're probably wondering why you're here... Well let's just say the GCPD have gone to Las Vegas because y'know... that's where everyone goes when they escape any kind of prison, ha! So they won't expect you to be here, so you're safe for now (just mind the so-called guards by the main doors on the ground floor). Take care, and kill anyone that finds you in here (apart from me, duh!) I'm sure we'll be together again sooner than you think Harls.
~ J
Well... it was the longest note she'd ever gotten... Usually she just had notes saying 'buy some milk - Selina'... Oh wait, there was a little more.
P.s. Harls, you couldn't be a doll and burn this too could you? Y'know... hard evidence and all that jazz. ;)
She sighed and decided to go get her lighter.
She yawned, clinging to the note and reading it over again. Somehow, she found it kind of romantic... in a weird way, it was. She let out a little giggle and then opened her door, skipping into the main part of her apartment, humming as she hopped through to the kitchen area.
Her red lighter was there on the table top, just where she'd left it.
She flicked it, watching sparks fly as she began to get a lit flame. Hummed television voices came from the living room area, making her stop and give out a silent gasp.
Why was the TV on?! She hadn't - and Joker wouldn't be here... so someone must have broken in.
"Shit..." she whispered, realizing the flame had now reached the green note, making the piece of card curl as it withered into nothing but remnants of black ash.
She flipped the lid back onto her lighter and quietly, carefully dropped it back onto her table's surface. Out of not knowing what to do, she decided to grab a couple of knives, two in each of her hands. She wasn't sure what she was going to do... She didn't feel like killing them, so... she didn't know why she was doing this.
Harley took a deep breath and padded towards where her leather couch was, noticing some black and white spats covering some feet at the bottom of the sofa.
Well... whoever this was, this was no police officer... no cop would wear something... cool like that.
Her curiosity grew and she felt her legs move quicker to see who it was.
It was when she saw that above the cool shoes, was the start of a smart, purple trouser, that she began to get giddy, for now she knew this couldn't possibly be any other.
The knives just fell out of her hands.
She squeaked and did a running jump, launching herself over the sofa to land on the Joker, who grumbled as she'd hit him hard.
"Hello!" he greeted, losing his annoyance and plastering his grin on when she hugged him tightly.
She let him go to look him down... "Wow..."
To match his smart purple trousers, he had a suit jacket in the same style. A light green shirt was beneath this, which was topped off by a dark green bow. Her eyes landed on the hair on his head... it was no longer wild and tussled, it was slicked back in an attractive, stylish manner, that made Harley want to just kiss him over and over...
Most people were scared by this man. Yet here she was, cuddling him and giggling when he said, "So I still don't get a hello?!"
Oh the irony.
"Sorry Mistah J... I'm just so - "
"What?! What did you just say?" he asked enthusiastically, grinning wildly.
"I'm just so - "
"Before that."
"Sorry?"
"After that."
"Oh... M-Mistah J?"
He chuckled, tilting her chin so that she was brushing her lips over his.
"Perfect..." he said, smiling against her mouth when she gave out a little giggle. "Looks like I won't be needing that East End dumpster after all."
"So... you're sure we're safe here?"
"Yep Doll Face! Safe and sound ... for now. I think we'd better make a move tonight and... oh, by the way, about your car, I think it's crap so I'm getting you a new one."
"What?! But you loved that car!"
"Yea, I did. 'Did' being past tense means that we need to move on baby! I mean... I've already stolen a new one anyway."
"You have?! When?"
"Last night."
"Wow... you are quick."
The breaking news theme from the TV interrupted them, both sets of eyes landing on the flashing screen. It was showing some amateur film of the break out at Arkham, with a still picture of Joker and another of Harley on one side of the screen.
The Joker giggled, squeezing his arms tightly around her as he watched in excitement.
"Look honey! We're on TV!"
Harley laughed, stopping when she realized that the footage was cut off just before Joker had impaled the guard. Well that was disappointing. She'd kinda wanted to see that again.
"We have a link to the head of GCPD, Commissioner Gordon, who is now live from Arkham Asylum to speak directly to you..."
The camera switched to Gordon, who looked extremely serious as he thanked the reporter and began the story of the notorious Joker's escape, standing behind some kind of political podium as he mumbled into the different channels' microphones.
"I swear, every time I see this guy he gets happier by the second!" Joker exclaimed, laughing hysterically at the stern line for a mouth on police chief's face. "Y'know the last time I saw him he had a moustache... And guess what? I made fun of it. And now look! That exact furry caterpillar is gone..."
He paused, abruptly pushing Harley off him (she cursed and flipped over to land on the couch again, which hurt and made her frown) to stand up and hug the TV in a snide mocking manner. He placed a hand on the screen, like he was cupping Gordon's face in a caring way and prodded the bare upper lip of the man with one bony finger.
"Aw he must really care about my opinion... Shucks, I'm flattered Gordon but..."
Joker turned away from the screen, grinning deviously towards the blonde on the couch, who was holding one pale leg up in the air and twisting a curl around one slender finger; she knew his attention was on her now, and she was deliberately acting oblivious because she could see it was driving him crazier.
"... I'm with someone else now. I know that internally, your heart bleeds... but you and I are now through Gordon! And besides... she's a hot blonde who is surprisingly good at kicking butt... And not even you could compete with that Gordie."
His sentences were slowing down, like he was really choosing his words carefully and as he did this, he was stalking closer to her, nonchalantly.
"... Sure, to you and the outside world, I'm taking her hostage and forcing her into a mental prison, where I can get inside her thoughts to torture her 'til she's insane with a self-hatred and bears a violent grudge against the world..."
Harley's blue eyes flicked to his, hypnotised by that mad green that oscillated within them. She thought she would have grown sick and tired of seeing them by now, yet every time she gazed into them, it was like the whole colour and insanity was brand new to her.
"But in all honesty, I'm not doing any of those things. She chose to come with me. She chose to listen instead of asking incessant patronizing questions - "
"Oh shut up an' kiss me will ya!" she yelled like a toddler, yelping in surprise when he growled in irritation and yanked her by the strap of her tank top so that their lips crashed together. His hands wrapped tightly around the base of her neck, the pain and pleasure mixing together and creating the most whimsical feeling for Harley.
She was so astounded by what she was feeling, that she was almost unable to reply back, yet somehow, she managed to push her moist mouth in response to him. He encouraged her by parting his lips, noticing she was being too slow for his liking.
The front doors being rattled made the two of them jump away from one another like it was a crime - in a way ... it kind of was.
He stared blankly at her. And she stared back.
"Well?" Joker asked expectantly, shifting his eyes towards the pathway to the front door.
"Well what?"
He rolled his eyes.
"Go and answer it."
Harley narrowed her eyes and pouted, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Anndddd why can't you Mr J?"
He raised an eyebrow, "Because... hmm... let's see... I'm the number one most wanted and that's more than likely a GCPD officer at the door. Come on Harl!"
Huffing she turned and made her way to the door, Joker creeping a few metres behind her and hiding in the doorway, just peeking out enough so he could see and keep himself hidden at the same time.
He saw Harley open the door and greet someone... From the sound of the voice he guessed it was a cop... just the general tone gave them away. They were all the same.
After mumbles from the cop and solemn nods or negative nods from Harley, she shut the door, sprinting down the hall and hugging her Joker to check he was still there.
"We have to leave," she mumbled into his chest, not even caring that he wasn't even hugging her back. "We have to leave now."
Through a mock surprise, he couldn't help smiling - and thank god she didn't lift up her head, or she would've seen that manipulative grin.
"Really?!" he said in that fake, concerned tone that she would never know wasn't real. "But Pumpkin Pie... Why so soon?"
The grin spread wider.
As if he didn't know.