Shotgun Serenade
8. Celebrity
"Get in." Joker called as the car's window slid down. Feeling she didn't have much choice, Harley smiled and entered the car... she wasn't sure what this new vehicle was but it was small and kind of ancient so... it would probably go fast.
Slamming the door, she chucked her suitcase into the back, jumping as he accelerated out of the car park beside her apartment block.
"So ... where are we going?" she asked, blue eyes wide as she peered out at the dreary Gotham streets as they passed them by in a furious blur. He didn't answer and didn't even look her way, he just focused on the highway ahead, keeping his emerald eyes peeled for any cops around the vicinity.
Harley huffed out a frustrated sigh and crossed over her arms, avoiding any eye contact with him.
"I'm not telling you Harl," he finally spoke, glancing towards her and then back to the road. "I mean, where would the fun be in that?"
She shifted uncomfortably, feeling freezing all of sudden. Maybe running away with her patient ... was way over the limit for her? But... she couldn't really tell him that she had changed her mind now... After all, that dumpster wouldn't be too far away...
"They'll be looking for me." she muttered worriedly, catching a glimpse of a black and white cop car in her wing mirror. Joker heard her perfectly, taking a long piercing stare at her, corners of his mouth lifting a little.
"Of course they will!" he exclaimed, taking a slender fingered hand off of the steering wheel. "And if we'd stayed at your apartment a moment longer ... we'd be back in the place where we first met!" He let out a chuckle.
She smiled, but she frowned at him in confusion. Then... why did he take her with him? Usually if he used someone, he'd leave them to clean up the mess... after all he didn't want a useless soul lugging around him.
But he'd let her tag along...
Pondering this thought, she stared out of the window again, clearly taking Joker by surprise. She'd been chattering excitedly until now... Something was bothering her, and if he was the source of this 'bother', he would definitely humour her.
He turned on the radio, and then went back to driving.
Normally he didn't mind silence. However with Harley, he couldn't stand the silence - it was wrong, the two of them should have been talking, yet neither of them took a single glance at each other.
Joker was just glad that they only had a few blocks left until they reached their destination.
Braking heavily and not particularly caring about whether he'd startled Harley in doing so, he turned off the engine, taking a small glance out of the window - his eyes landed on a tall skyscraper building, about seven or eight storeys high. Smiling, he turned back to her, seemingly missing the annoyed glare on her face.
"We're here Sweets!" he announced, grinning. "But... I can't just take you in, sooo I'm gonna have to ... 'kidnap you'..."
He giggled a bit and from pretty much nowhere, revealed a glossy black revolver in his pale hand, pointing it at her. Harley gasped and her eyes widened...
'What? What the hell?!'
"I-Is it loaded?" she stammered, hairs on the back of her neck standing on end and he cocked the gun.
"Well... it is now!"
She shivered, she knew he was only doing this to make her real fear show... after all, it would look more realistic so people wouldn't notice that... well, she didn't really know what he was planning on doing with her. But still... he didn't have to go and actually load the damn gun, did he?
She let out an uncomfortable noise as he hit her arm with the end of the metal revolver. "Get out then!" he almost shouted, keeping the classic lurid smile on his red lips.
Harley scrambled her way out of the car, slamming the door shut... amazed when she looked over at Joker's side of the car to see him standing there already, pointing his weapon at her. Joker jolted the gun to her left a little, she followed the gun's direction and met him on the other side of the car.
He wrapped an arm around her neck, pulling her into him and pressing the gun against her throat.
Just for show?! He was enjoying this!
His body weight leaned against her and she toppled forwards, and soon they were crossing the road like this... Joker shoving, Harley falling. Automatic doors opened as they reached the modern building, a long, blank walled lobby awaiting before them.
Joker was still pushing her, arm still securely snaked around her throat. No one else was around as they reached the end of the cream corridor, and they stood in front of a chrome coloured elevator.
"Press the button, Pumpkin," he whispered almost sweetly, which made her weirdly smile even though he was nearing strangulation on her. She swiftly lifted one arm and used her thumb to call the lift. A blue light lit above the silvery doors, and they soon opened, revealing a deserted elevator.
"Which floor?" she asked hoarsely, due to the pressure he was putting her windpipe under. He shoved her in and the doors slid shut. He still didn't let her go and just whispered, "Press penthouse."
She swallowed and she knew he had felt her do so because his smile evolved into a toothy grin; She stretched forward, hitting the top button, making it light up red. Soon they felt the elevator rumble and whir. Harley tried to look up at him but he felt her moving and nipped her neck's skin with his arm, letting out a chuckle.
The doors opened in unison with a 'ping' noise once they had reached their destination. He switched places with Harley, sticking his head out of the lift to check if the coast was clear. He smiled and let her go, pushing her out of the claustrophobic transport.
The doors slid shut and it was just the two of them. The penthouse was pretty big, with timber for flooring and a clear view of Gotham City's skyline. Harley could hear his spats clacking over the floorboards as he moved around, already making himself at home.
She just stood, not really knowing what to do. She observed the rich, luxurious surroundings - it was something, she imagined, that Bruce Wayne had previously probably owned.
Her blue eyes caught Joker throwing himself violently onto a leather corner couch, his hand snatching the TV remote. His thumb furiously flicked through channels, his focus not really on anything on screen at all.
Harley shrugged and walked over to a closed door, knowing it must be the bathroom or bedroom since the kitchen was part of the eccentrically large living area. Opening the light door, a five star bedroom was revealed. There was a bed with black covers and plush cushions to match. To contrast, the rest of the room's contents was a silvery-grey or pure opal. It was near perfection. The bed, which had caught most of her attention, was located to the right of the room, not far from the skyline. It was sophisticated, but oddly, she found it kind of romantic. ..
She skipped further into the bedroom, slumping herself down onto the bed and nuzzling her face into the covers. "Mmm soft," she mumbled, giggling as she sat on her knees, bouncing a little to see how springy it was. She heard loud sounds from cartoons echoing from the living room, and she was kind of happy Joker was occupied... if he wasn't, she would have to discuss things with him... and she'd rather not. She hadn't thought about anything to say yet. Or ask. It was like... it didn't matter.
She began to stand a little and started to jump on the bed, careful of her head striking the ceiling. Before long she was laughing her head off, face pink from the fun she was having.
As her giggles grew louder, the familiar click of spats did the same yet the cartoon noises were still there. "Harley?" Joker called in a sweet tone, and from this she could tell he was grinning.
She stopped and gasped, collapsing over the covers; she immediately commenced in smoothing out the crumples in the silk bed covers. She placed a hand on her cheeks, feeling how hot they were.
"Shit..." she murmured, looking at the mess of cushions that had fallen off the bed.
The door swung open, Joker blinking as if he wasn't believing his eyes. Harley looked exhausted; her eyes were larger than usual and she was panting like whatever she'd been doing had been too much for him to take in.
His eyes narrowed in a calculating manner as he looked upon the cushions on the floor.
A surprised smirk played on his lips.
"What have you been doing?"
"N-Nothin'! Just..."
"Just... ?"
"I was..."
"You were having fun without me - weren't you?!" he exclaimed in a sorrowful manner, throwing his head back dramatically and placing the back of his hand on his forehead.
"Oh. I..."
"Well go on! Let me on!" he cried, pushing her down into the mattress. She near screamed as she felt claws digging into her sides, tickling all of her weak nerves. Harley laughed childishly and rolled to-and-fro across the covers as he attacked her, tears of joy running down her cheeks.
"Oh Dr Quinzel!" he mocked, villainous pleasure spreading across his face. "Who knew an Arkham doctor could be so much fun?!"
Gasping for breath, Harley tried to shove him off but she only giggled harder when he placed his lips against her tummy and blew a raspberry on it. "S- Ahahahaha! S-Stop it!" she choked out, only encouraging him further.
Soon laughing himself, Joker eventually ceased his comical ventures and laid flat next to her; he looked over at her, watching her chest heaving up and down as she let out the last of her chuckles. 'That's almost a sexual innuendo...' he thought, smirking as he gazed up at the ceiling.
Harley, still catching her breath, hugged his right side, resting her head on his shoulder. He dipped his head, lingering just above her lips when he smiled. She giggled and he purred, grabbing her shoulders in a swift movement to pin her to the mattress. As he brushed his mouth over hers, a buzzing sound suddenly sounded.
Joker sighed.
"Hold on a sec Pumpkin..." he murmured, half annoyed, and half still in their heated moment. He pulled out a phone from his pocket, accepting the call; He collapsed onto his back on the bed next to her, making the metal frame shudder.
"Hellooo!" he exclaimed in his usual cheerful manner, like the thing between him and Harley had never occurred.
Harley watched the Clown Prince intently as he squeezed his eyes shut, one hand on his forehead like he was irritated as he let out an agitated growl.
"For god's sake! What is it now?!"
She jumped at his stern, angered tone but then clung to his side cautiously.
"You what?! Well do something about it you blabbering baby! - What?! Well what the hell am I supposed to do?! Get a fishing net or something!"
Harley widened her eyes - Fishing net?!
"Okay, okay! Look, you nauseating numbskull! I'm not going down there! What do you think I pay you useless bald guys for?! " There was a pause. "- Oh ho ho! Real original! Actually you know what, do something useful, write a memo reminding me to put a bullet in your brain!"
Joker pulled the phone from his ear with a grimace, lifting an articulate eyebrow as savage growls and tearing noises blared out of the receiver. Sighing, he cut the call halfway through a scream, throwing the cell phone against the wall opposite.
Harley cleared her throat lightly, " Everything okay?"
He smiled, putting a nimble arm around her.
She smiled, regardless of her amazement about how quickly he could change mood - she hadn't seen him like that before.
"Perfect Pooh!" he murmured in reply, grinning like their private moment had never been interrupted, and laying his head back against the pillows behind them.
"Do you think - well, the cops will find us here eventually right?!" she suddenly blurted out, realizing she was stupid to voice her thoughts.
He frowned, as she laid beside him.
"Naa, not even Bats has a high enough IQ to suspect we're here. Oh! Speaking of The Rodent, I'll be out on a job tonight but I shouldn't be gone long - "
Harley looked disappointed, sulking.
"Hey! What's with the face?! I mean, come on! I'll be worried sick about you!"
Her face brightened a little, her locks falling in front of her blue eyes.
"But you're staying here. It's way too dangerous for you to join me! And... well you can't be seen for a while anyway... since your 'Missing Persons' report has already been aired all over Gotham TV. Turns out they found that CCTV when you helped me bust out from Arkham too ..."
Harley's face fell. So she was a hostage now?! He was clearly using her for something... Or else he wouldn't go to so much trouble... to keep her with him. Not that she needed much persuading.
"Aww!" Joker exclaimed, arms hugging her tightly as he noticed her face. "Cheer up Sweets! You're a celebrity now!"