Owen looked over at me as I sat in the passenger seat of his car. "Are you warm enough?"
My clothes were still damp from the rain, but the warm air from the car vents kept me comfortable. "I'm fine." I looked out the window and thought about my evening. One question had been nagging my mind. I didn't know how short my time would be in Tulsa, so I felt I needed an answer. I looked over at Owen as the passing headlamps lit his face. I quietly asked, "If Pete hadn't shown up do you think you … we … we would have, you know."
A bashful grin spread across his face and he kind of laughed out an answer. "I don't know."
That wasn't the answer I was looking for. I turned towards him and asked, "You don't know if you would have, or you don't know if you could have?"
Owen laughed again and questioned, "What do you mean?"
I paused a moment to try to figure out why it was a hard question for him to answer. A lot had happened in the past few weeks; I was wondering if I was assuming too much about the two of us. I rephrased my question. "I guess what I am asking is, are we still going steady or no?"
"Absolutely!" Owen looked towards me and his eyes sparkled. "Scout, you're my girl. Right?"
"Absolutely!" Relieved, I smiled back at him. "So, since we are still boyfriend and girlfriend, if Pete hadn't shown up do you think you would have?"
"Would have what?" Owen stared out the windshield and played stupid to aggravate me for his amusement.
Nervous for the answer I stumbled through the question. "Would we have, you know… gone all the way tonight?"
Owen's smile drifted away from his face and he stared straight ahead for a moment before he simply answered. "No."
Upset, I looked out the passenger window before I softly inquired. "Why? Why her, and not me?"
"What?"
"Why did you have sex with Lacey Montgomery, but you wouldn't with me?"
"Scout, you're only fifteen years old!" Owen reached over and touched my hand with his. "It will happen for us, but I love you and I would never want to pressure you with that."
"What if I told you that I wouldn't feel pressured?"
Owen spoke with a disappointed sigh. "I have a feeling this has less to do with you and me and more to do with you and Lacey, doesn't it?"
I huffed. "Was it this hard of a decision when you and Lacey did it?"
"No! Besides she's older than you," Owen argued, "and she came to me. I wasn't planning on any of it."
"Yeah, right." I snorted in response.
"It's true! She offered it to me, and I guess in the moment I didn't have a good reason to say no." Owen looked over at me and the look on my face must have made him feel like he had to explain. "Here it is, every summer we vacation in the Carolinas at this resort. My parents have a bungalow there and for years her family has had one right across from ours. It's no secret that Lacey has always been 'into' me, so last summer, in the middle of the night I hear this sound. I opened my eyes to see Lacey crawling through my bedroom window in her silk robe. I asked her what she was doing. Then she crawled up onto me, said something about a late birthday present, and untied her robe. She was naked, and she came on to me."
Dumbfounded, I didn't know what to say. His fling with Lacey was really no different than the one I had with the rodeo cowboy that same summer, and I hadn't told Owen about him.
Owen looked over at me then grabbed my hand to assure me. "I promise, Scout, when it's our time it will have been worth the wait."
Jealous of Lacey, I pouted. "What if I'm done waiting?"
"You're only fifteen!" Owen stated again.
"What if I'm ready?"
Owen looked at me with a concern I hadn't seen before. "Scout, I love you and I want nothing more than to show you that in every possible way, but that is a big step."
"But it's only a matter of days and then I'll be gone from here for good. Life is too short, Owen."
He couldn't argue.
"I'm just saying I'm ready. When you're ready, I'm ready," I assured him.
"Believe me! I'm ready to be with you. I just don't think I'm ready for Darry to find out."
I grinned. "So this might be the best time, because in the state he's in I think I could take him."
The two of us laughed. Owen lovingly squeezed my hand, and I dropped the subject. Besides, I was in a heap of trouble as it was.
Owen pulled his car over outside of my house. I noticed the living room lights were on and in a moment the front door was pulled open. Sodapop stood in the doorway, hands shoved into the front pockets of his jeans, peering out at the car. I could tell he was mad, which was rare for Soda.
"I'll walk you up," Owen said softly. He then leaned towards me and gently kissed my lips. He got out of the car, walked around to my side and opened the car door. I slowly climbed out, and allowed Owen to stay close to me as we strolled together towards the house.
When I reached the bottom of the stairs Sodapop darted out the screen door. In a quiet, but angry voice he began to scold me. "Where the hell have you been? I've been worried sick about you. I didn't know whether to think you had wandered off on you own, or if someone had snagged you."
Owen and I reached the top of the stairs and stood in front of my brother. Stubbornly angry that he would insinuate he cared I sassed back, "What does it matter where I've been."
"What does it matter?" Sodapop shot back in anger, "Scout, you've been nothing but in harms way for the past month and you wonder what it matters? What if those punks had come back, or Darry had woke up and figured out you was missing?"
I looked coldly at Soda. "What does it matter? In a few days, I'll be back at Ashford, all alone, and you and Darry won't know where I've been or who I'm with or who has hunted me down until it's too late. So what's it matter now?" With that said, I told Owen I'd see him in the morning, and I brushed past my brother and walked into the house.
I didn't hear the words the boys on the porch exchanged, but I assumed Owen was filing Sodapop in on the details of how I had shown up unannounced, drenched from the rain. I was also sure he left out the details of how he had warmed me up. I smiled at the memory and headed to my room to slip on some dry clothes for pajamas.
I busied myself with hanging up an outfit for the next day. I was hoping most of the wrinkles would diminish over night. When that task was over I sat down on my bed and looked around my room, which used to be Casey's room, and Casey and my room, which used to be Darry's room, which used to be Soda and Darry's room. No doubt there was a lot of history within the walls. No matter how rotten the day had been I thought about how good it felt to be back in my home. I wasn't ready to be sent away for good.
Sodapop pushed my bedroom door open. Still angry, he marched in. "You shouldn't have done what you did tonight."
"Save the lecture for someone who cares." I barked and looked away.
"All we asked was for you to stay in the house where we could look after you."
"That's all? Because I vaguely remember being asked to pack up my life and move away."
"It's not like that and you know it."
"Do I?"
"Well you should!"
"Well I don't. You said it yourself, if we aint got each other then we aint got nothin'. Once you ship me back to Ashford that exactly what I'll have, nothing! No boyfriend, no friends, no Darry, no you and…no…" A large lump formed in my throat and threatened to choke my last words. "… no… Ponyboy."
Soda's eyes grew moist. "Scout, you have to understand…"
I looked away to wipe away a fresh set of tears, and cried out in interruption, "It's not fair!"
"It's not fair for us either! Do you know what it's like to worry about you like we do? Do you have any idea how much we really want you all home?" Then Sodapop's emotions outwitted his tough façade. The tears flowed. "No one in this world is as important to us and you and Ponyb…" his voice cracked.
I didn't have to see my brother to know how miserable he was truly feeling. I hated that! I peeked over and found Sodapop becoming crippled by guilt and sadness. I jumped off my bed and dove towards him with my arms wide open. Sodapop's body bounced off the wall with a thud and the two of us crumpled to the floor and bawled. I grabbed at my brother in pain and gathered fistfuls of his shirt into my hands. I wept, "please don't send me back there. I just want to be home. I've already lost so much; I can't lose all of my brothers too. Please, So, you have to talk to Darry. Tell him to let me stay, please!"
"I don't know what to do." Soda cried out loud. "Why's it all got to be this hard?"
____________________
I woke up before the alarm clock rang. I lifted Sodapop's arm off of my body and slid out of his bed. The sun pierced through the closed blinds and left small slits of bright sunlight against Ponyboy's bulletin board. A picture of Ponyboy and Johnny caught my eye. I leaned in and looked at my brother who was sitting on the front porch next to his friend. I remembered taking the photo only a year ago.
Before Sodapop left for work, I convinced him to give me enough money to buy a roll of film for my mother's camera. I stuffed the dollars into the front pocket of my worn out blue jeans and headed out the front door. I knew better than to walk alone, but I wasn't willing to wait for Ponyboy to walk with me. Besides, it was daylight and the drug store wasn't far from the other side of the park.
As I walked down the street towards Johnny's house I noticed pieces of broken beer bottles in his front yard. His parents fought hard, and often. That, no doubt, was the reason Johnny had slept over on our couch. I shook my head in disappointment at Johnny's parents poor behavior and turned to cut through the vacant lot.
"Hey!"
I heard a voice yell out. I looked across the lot to the area where the boys sat around the fire and shared bull sessions with each other. "Hey, Dallas." I shifted my direction and walked towards the boy. "Did you sleep out here last night?"
"I guess so," Dallas said, and then he laughed at himself.
"To drunk to make it all the way to our house?" I asked with a grin.
"Maybe, I don't remember." Dally stood up and rubbed his wild hair to calm it down then he brushed at his jeans and jean jacket to be sure his looked somewhat presentable. "Where ya headed?"
"Larsen's Pharmacy."
Dally stretched and squinted into the sun. "Perfect, eggs and bacon. Come on, my treat." Dallas grabbed the sleeve of my shirt and pulled me in the direction of the pharmacy like it was his idea to go there.
I didn't mind.
Dallas reached into his pocket and pulled out a cigarette box. "Your brothers working today?" When Dally noticed the box was vacant of cigarettes he tossed the empty box into the street.
"Yeah, they both work the morning shift." I jumped off the curb and picked up the trash Dally had thrown down. I heard Dallas laugh hard. I looked up at him. "It wouldn't kill you to just put this in a trash can."
"Nobody cares." Dally blew off my suggestion.
"I care. My mom would have cared."
"Yeah, she would have." Dallas found a pair of sunglasses in his coat pocket and slide them onto his face. "Things would be different if she were still around. Huh?"
I decided not to respond to what I considered to be a rhetorical question. Then in a somewhat rare moment Dally put his arm around my shoulder and gave me a little squeeze of affection. "That kid we beat up in the rumble aint been around in a while, right?"
"You mean, James?" I folded up the cigarette box and tucked it into my pocket so I could put it in the trash later.
"Yeah, that's the guy."
"No, I think he's history. I haven't seen or heard from him since the rumble."
Dallas grinned. "Nothing like a good rumble to let people know who's in charge."
"Yeah, right." I mumbled in slight disagreement.
We walked into the Pharmacy together. In the front of the building was the merchandise, and in the back a small lunch counter where a person could get a plate of eggs and bacon for fifty cents. It was by far the best breakfast deal in town.
As we sat down on two of the stools surrounding the counter, Dally looked over at me. "What did you come here to get anyway?"
"A roll of camera film," I answered and put my hand in my pocket to be sure I still had the money Soda had given me. I remembered the empty cigarette box I had stuffed in my other pocket. I pulled it out and laid it on the counter in front of me.
"Always the do-gooder, aint ya?" Dally looked at me then held his stare a few seconds and the edges of his mouth curled up into a smile. "Just like your ma."
I smiled back. I never minded being compared to her.
"Well aint you sweet." A girl's voice sang out with a southern drawl. "Bringin` your little sister to the diner for breakfast."
Dallas and I looked up to find a new waitress at the pharmacy diner. I looked over at Dally who let a sly smile creep across his face. "Now that she's getting older Sissy and I don't get a lot of time together, so I like to take her out for breakfast every now and then."
The waitress leaned on the lunch counter and cooed.
Dallas liked her so he continued with his sham. "We'll have two plates of bacon and eggs. Sissy, you want milk or orange juice to drink, how 'bout apple? Yeah, we'll have two apple juices too. She likes apple juice." Dallas tilted his head in my direction.
"Awe." The young waitress beamed and looked at me. "I bet he's the sweetest brother ever."
I looked over at Dallas. I raised my eyebrows and gave him a fake smile. "Actually, I've got three more a lot sweeter than him."
The waitress laughed, and winked at Dally. "I bet that aint true."
"If you two will excuse me, I'll be right back." I jumped off my stool and purchased the camera film I came for.
When I returned to the counter my breakfast was ready. Even though Dally spent most of his time flirting with the waitress and trying to get her phone number, I appreciated him coming to the pharmacy with me and buying my meal. As soon as I finished, I thanked Dallas and hopped off the stool to head for home. Dallas looked over at me and grabbed my arm. "Whoa, hold up. I'll walk with you." He picked the girl's phone number up from the counter and threw down a dollar and fifty cents. Dally looked towards the girl one last time, "I'll call ya!"
During our walk home Dallas pulled out a fresh pack of cigarettes. I looked at the pack and then up at him. "When did you buy those?" All Dallas did was smile. I knew he had lifted them from the pharmacy, but I didn't know when or how. I had to give him credit, he was almost as good as stealing things as Two-Bit was. It was a talent, and a shame.
At home, I pulled mom's camera out from the kitchen drawer. I sat down at the dining room table and tried to figure out how to load the film. I had never done it, and I had never paid attention. After a few failed attempts to get the film to wind up I let out an agitated sigh.
Dallas heard my frustration, so he pulled himself off of the couch and walked over to the dining room table. "Perfect grades in school, but ya can't even figure out how to load film into a camera?"
"I suppose you know how?"
Dally got cocky. "I suppose I can figure it out. Here, let me see that." Dallas snatched the camera and film from my hands. After studying all of the parts he put the film in the camera, wound the film, pointed the camera in my direction, and snapped a photo. He laughed. "Works like a charm."
I had to smile. "Thanks Dallas." I grabbed the camera from him and aimed it back in his direction. I tried to snap a photo, but the film hadn't been advanced so it wouldn't shoot.
Dallas laughed again. "Hey genius, ya gotta wind the film after every picture."
"I know," I said and wound the film tight. I walked out to the front porch and found Ponyboy and Johnny sitting in the sun sifting through comic books. "Say cheese!" I aimed the camera in their direction.
I pulled the picture off of the bulletin board to look at it more closely. It was a good picture. I missed both of them and seeing their smiles in the photograph broke my heart. I felt the frown form on my face, so I pinned the picture back where it was and went to my room to get ready for the long day ahead of me.
Once I was dressed I went to brush my teeth. I entered the dining room and saw Sodapop and Darry huddled in the bathroom. They were talking in low voices to avoid being heard. I paused and wondered if Sodapop was telling on me for leaving the night before.
Seeing that Darry was occupying the bathroom I headed to the living room to wait for my turn. Sodapop, wearing only a towel, took notice of me. He smiled at me, and stepped out of the bathroom to hide any clues as to what he and Darry had been discussing. "Good Morning, Scout."
I nodded my head and went to sit alone on the couch. My stomach was in knots.
Darry, dressed for court, stepped out of the bathroom and looked my way. "Come eat some breakfast!"
The two of us shared a questioning glare before I sighed heavily and pushed myself up off the couch. Without a word of agreement I walked to the kitchen. I grabbed the loaf of bread, jar of peanut butter, and a butter knife. I ambled over to our small kitchen table and flopped down onto the padded metal chair.
Darry hobbled into the room and leaned his cane against the stove to free up his hand. He grabbed the jug of milk and a jar of strawberry jam from the icebox. He cradled the items in the crook of his arm and grabbed a knife from the drawer then two glasses from the cabinet. He sat down, across the table from me. "Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches sound good for breakfast," he said in a friendly voice.
I didn't look up at him as I spread a blob of peanut butter on my slice of bread and folded it in two.
"Soda told me you and Owen made up last night." I swallowed hard and mentally prepped myself to be on the defense for my actions. I wondered again if Soda had tattled about how I had disobeyed. Darry continued, "I'm glad you two worked things out before you went back to Ashford. I think that was a good move. The jury will see that, and it's sure to weaken the defense's strategy."
My insides began to boil at the mention of Ashford and the trial. I stared at my sandwich. "Reuniting with Owen wasn't a strategy. We actually love each other."
Sodapop walked into the kitchen buttoning up his dress shirt.
Darry let out a little laugh. "Scout, you are too young to know what love is."
"Oh yeah?" I stood up and my chair darted out from underneath me. "Well, you're too stubborn to know what love is! That's why is so easy for you to just push everyone out of your life!"
"Scout!" Soda scolded and looked at me.
"Stay out of this Sodapop! You're probably just going to play both sides of the fence anyway. You'll tell me how much you want me around then you'll tell Darry he's making a good decision and you'll help me pack my bags." I stormed out of the kitchen, out of the house, and sat myself down on the porch steps to sulk.
The ride to the courthouse consisted of one thing, Darry lecturing me to pay attention to what was being said in the courtroom. I assured him several times that I planned too, but each time I said it I didn't think he was actually listening.
Inside the courthouse, we came off the elevator and I saw Owen, dressed in his dark suit, leaning against the wall. He smiled when he saw me. I skipped towards him and wrapped him in my arms in an overly sweet way. I was hoping Darry was watching and he would somehow feel guilty for wanting to tear the two of us apart. I turned to look at my brothers and found them making their way down the hall to the courtroom door. I didn't care, at least it gave Owen and I a few moments to be alone.
"Did you get in a lot of trouble after I left last night?" Owen whispered his question into my ear.
I answered quietly, "No. Soda was kind of mad, but he's a pushover. Darry was asleep, and I don't think Soda told him what I did."
Owen nodded his head and then I notice him wipe his palms on his pants. I could tell he was nervous about something this morning. "What is it?"
Owen shifted his weight then he looked at me a second and tucked a tuff of my hair behind my ear. "Scout, this morning I mentioned to my attorney about how you were hassled by those boys yesterday."
The hairs stood up on the back of my neck as I worried for the part of the conversation that made Owen so nervous.
Owen continued, "He told me what they did was witness tampering, and it's illegal."
I smiled quickly. "Of course it's illegal, but so is putting a knife to another person's throat. Things just happen that way in my neighborhood and nobody cares. Not even the law"
Owen raised his eyebrows. "Actually, my attorney did care."
My face dropped. "What do you mean?"
Then I heard Sodapop call out my name. I turned to see him hurriedly coming towards me. "Mr. Berta, one of the lawyers for the prosecution says he needs to talk with us right now." Sodapop looked up at Owen. "All of us."
Sodapop grabbed me by the hand and pulled me along to a small room on the opposite side of the hall from the courtroom. Inside, were a large wooden table and twelve wooden chairs. No doubt it was a jury deliberation room. I stepped in and saw Mr. Berta. He was a younger man, possibly in his early thirties and the second chair prosecution attorney. I felt like I knew him a little since he was the one who came to Ashford to speak to me before the trial. "Come in, sit down." He said.
Darry was already sitting in the room and he motioned for me to sit beside him. I walked over and sat by him as two police officers entered the room and shut the door behind them. I looked across the table at Owen, who had chosen to sit by his own attorney, and furrowed my brow to let him know I wasn't happy that he had ratted on me.
"We need to talk." Mr Berta told me, and the whirlwind morning began.