Chapter Thirty Four

The next morning, before leaving for court, I cleverly disguised my library books with book jackets from the library shelf in our living room. I pushed the books into a paper bag and took them with me, and if there was time to read, I read. I was determined to keep the defense team from twisting the truth into lies, and to do that I need to know and understand their tactics.

All day, while on the witness stand, I watched the defense attorneys reactions after each of my answers. I tried to study their reactions so I could be prepared for their rebuttal in the coming days. Concentrating so much on the defensive lawyers sometimes threw me off task to the point of losing track of what I was trying to convey to the prosecution.

Darry made a point of scolding me during lunch for my lack of attention. I didn't bother to explain to him what I was trying to accomplish. I didn't figure he'd care. He proved me wrong at the end of the day when we walked out of the courthouse and he grabbed my hand and held it tightly in his.

At home I paced the floor waiting for the six o'clock hour to come so I could talk to Ponyboy. When I finally placed the call, all I could hear on the other line was an operator recording telling me that my call could not go through. Frustrated, I handed the receiver to Darry who listened to the message with a frown.

Outside a loud crack of thunder rumbled through the house. Everyone in the room looked at each other with a feeling of gloom. The sky darkened as the rain began to fall heavy on the roof. Worried about the weather Casey felt it best to turn on the evening news. All of us turned our attention to the report of deadly storms and twisters that had roared through the southern part of the state where Barrington stood.

"Oh lordy." Two Bit quietly murmured.

Devastated by the information I sat back on the couch. I looked up at Sodapop in shock because he seemed so calm. He stood in silence staring out the living room window at the storm. Seeing him so complacent triggered my temper because this time I didn't need him to be calm. I needed him to be distraught and desperate for his family to be together. I needed him to finally crack and demand Darry bring Ponyboy and I straight home from our schools, but he didn't.

Hoping to help, Owen walked over and sat down next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder to comfort me. "Don't worry, Scout. He'll be alright."

Like the rain outside the window my tears instantly began to fall onto my cheeks. I cried out, "How will we know? He's so far away."

Hearing my whimper, Darry stood up from my father's chair, walked off to the isolation of his bedroom and shut himself off from reality.

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My mind awoke first then my eyes popped open to the darkness of my bedroom. In seconds, my vision adjusted and revealed the silhouette of a man sitting on my bed with me. Horror shot through my nerves! I gasped out loud, sat up, and back away from the stranger until my back pressed against my headboard.

"You alright, Sissy?" Darry asked in alarm.

Upon hearing his voice I was able to relax, and wonder why he was in my room.

"Did you have another nightmare?" He asked as he reached past me and switched on my lamp.

"No," I answered, but I couldn't be certain because I didn't even know I had had a first nightmare let alone a second one. "Is that why you're in here? Did I have a nightmare?"

Darry let out a little snort like he often did when he couldn't believe something Ponyboy or I had said. "It always amazes me how you and Ponyboy can scare the dickens out of us by screaming at night, but you never ever hear yourself."

I looked down at my knees that were drawn up against my chest. I wondered if I was having nightmares because Ponyboy was having them too. Thinking of Ponyboy only depressed me more. I questioned my brother, "Do you think he is okay?"

Darry raised his eyebrows at me. "You'd know that better than I would. You and Pony have that kind of bond. So what do you think?"

I thought hard for a moment, but couldn't sense anything for sure. "I just don't know," I whimpered, "but shouldn't we know something by now? If it was bad wouldn't someone had called?"

"Yeah, we probably would have heard something by now."

"But we don't know for sure," I said softly.

"I know, Scout..." Darry's voice trailed off as his own thoughts ran through his head. He looked back at me. "But it's not the first time I have had to sit and worry about you or Ponyboy. For the past year I've done nothing but worry about losing one of you." Darry's lip tightened as he fought back tears. "Then yesterday, when we walked out of the courthouse and I looked behind me and you were gone…" Darry struggled to take in a steady breath. "At that moment, I realized that I have been so worried about losing you that I haven't been able to see the truth."

I couldn't help but stare at my brother in confusion. It wasn't often that he cried, and when he did I understood why, but this time was different, so I questioned, "What truth?"

"If you stay here in Tulsa something bad could happen and I might lose you forever, but if I send you back to Ashford I will lose you forever and I don't want that to happen." I don't want to lose you like that. I don't want you to hate me."

My heart ached instantly then my lip quivered and my defensive shell began to crack.

My brother wiped his tears and carried on, "You know, that first day you were back, I barely recognized you when you walked down the hallway towards me. Your hair was so short, and you seemed taller, and older." Darry's face grimaced to hold in his emotions. "You are just more grown up then I remembered. You're not the little sister I used to have to look out for. I know, now, that I have to trust you to make your own decisions, and I don't want to see you hurt anymore, especially by me.

"So what are you saying?"

Darry took in a deep breath to stop his whimpering, He looked at me through the dim light in the room with a faint smile. "I'm saying, I want you to have a chance at everything I had when I was fifteen, and if that means staying here in Tulsa then Soda and I will do what ever it takes to make that happen and keep you safe."

My sorrow filled eyes widened in astonishment. My mouth dropped open. "Really, do you really mean that?"

"With all my heart," Darry cried out.

In that moment I felt a huge rush of stress leave my mind. I scampered across my bed and wrapped my arms around Darry's neck. "I am so sorry for all the trouble I have caused you. I never meant to."

Darry squeezed his arms tightly around my body and the two of us bawled together. "I'm sorry too. I just couldn't stand to think of something bad happening to you again!"

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"Sissy…Come on, Sissy time to get up." Sodapop slowly shook my body.

My mind awakened to a throbbing headache. No doubt the stress, pressure, and worry were getting to me both physically and mentally.

"Come on, time to get ready to go." Sodapop shook me one last time.

I sat up and rubbed my forehead hoping to squelch the intense pain. "Have we heard anything about Ponyboy?"

"No, I tried calling this morning but the phone lines are still down," Soda said with a frown.

I looked at my brother and took a moment to study his face and posture. I could tell he was mentally in conflict through the absence of his usually carefree demeanor. "Did you talk to Darry this morning?"

"Yeah," He said with a disappointing sigh that forced a deep frown onto my face.

"You don't want me to come home. Do you?"

My brother leaned forward and stared down to the floor. "It's not that I don't want you home. It's just hard to explain."

His lack of enthusiasm perturbed me. "Well then, just give it to my straight."

"I guess I just loved that you were there." A crooked grin graced his face. "I loved walking through the neighborhood and knowing that I was the only guy with a sister smart enough to be going to a big time school like Ashford."

A proud smile jumped onto my face as I joked, "You're one of the only guys smart enough to be going to school in this neighborhood!"

Soda laughed at my joke before continuing to explain himself. "I also liked bragging about you when people came to the station, especially when the Socs came in. I loved knowing that their sisters probably dreamed of going to Ashford. I bet their sisters would love to have the choice to go there, but they can't and you can. That's something special!"

I nodded my head in thought. "Maybe that's why I don't like it there…because it wasn't my choice. Maybe if I had been given time to think about it and prepare it would have been better, but I didn't. Instead of appreciating the opportunity all I can think about is coming home and fixing the mess I made of everything."

"Sissy, you didn't make a mess of nothing!"

I didn't argue with him because I knew I was right, but I did want him to see how great it would be if Pony and I were home again. "After everything that's happened I just want us all to be together."

"Yeah, I can see that, because as much as I want you to be at Ashford I also want you home."

"I just don't fit in there, and right now I just want to be in a place where I fit in, and that place is here with all of you." I looked at Sodapop with puppy dog eyes.

My brother's lips curled up into his cheeks just before he wise cracked. "Whoever told you that you fit in around here?"

My mouth dropped open with fake astonishment. "Sodapop Curtis! You take that back!" I yelled just before I swung a handful of pillow out from behind my back and smacked my brother in the face.

Soda quickly snagged the pillow from my grip and retuned the gesture to side of my head. The force of the blow and pain in my head knocked me sideways onto my bed, but the smile never left my face. It was more moments like these that I looked forward to.

My brother threw the pillow on top of me and stood up. "Come on now, get ready or you're gonna be late."

"I will," I assure him as he walked out of the room. Truthfully, didn't care if I was late. Today was the day I would be questioned about every horrid detail of being attacked. Up on the stand in front of so many strangers I had to recall the evil way James glared at me. The way he grabbed me, spoke to me, strangled me, and stabbed my brother.

I wiped the final tears from my eyes.

"That's all Your Honor." The prosecuting attorney called out from his table.

The judge thought a moment then spoke to the court. "In consideration of the time, and it being the end of the work week I think it best if we call it a day and reconvene again, Monday morning at eight o'clock. Prosecution, please be prepared to call your next witness at that time."

The judge looked down at me and kindly smiled. "That's all for now, Ms. Curtis, you may step down."

I let out a soft sigh of relief and rose to my feet. I could feel my knees shaking beneath me as I glanced at the vicious stare on James usually smug face. I kept a watchful eye on him as I passed between the attorney's tables. James purposefully leaned back to keep his stare fixed upon me. I hurried my steps through the gate and back to my seat between my brothers.

"Bailiff, please escort the jury from the courtroom." The judge ordered.

Upon his command the jury rose to their feet and the bailiff walked them out of the courtroom and into their chambers. Once the room was cleared the judge slammed his gavel with a loud wooden crack and declared the court adjourned for the week.

I sat between my brothers and watched as the bailiff placed James into a set of handcuffs. As James was escorted from his seat he turned and smiled at me sending a chill up my spine. Now that Darry had given me the right to choose, somehow staying in Tulsa seemed more dangerous than it did before. On the walk out of the courthouse I wondered if I was stubbornly putting myself into harms way. Then my feet touched the sidewalk outside, and Darry's hand reached out and gripped mine tightly in his. I knew his intentions were to keep me close and to keep me safe. I squeezed his hand to let him know he wouldn't lose me.

On the ride home I sat in the front seat between my brothers. I kept quiet because my stomach felt sour and I didn't want to get sick. Soda tried to fill the silence talking about how happy he was the weekend was finally here, but he didn't have any plans other than spending time with Darry and me.

"How'bout that?" Soda asked me as he turned the car onto our street. "You think you can keep yourself away from Owen long enough to spend some time with me?"

His words were almost like whispers to me as my mind was chasing thoughts far away from reality. Then I sensed something, and I shared it out loud, "Ponyboy Curtis."

Darry looked at me with a frown. "What?"

I didn't answer him.

"Sissy, you okay?" Sodapop asked he slowed the car to park in front of our house.

"Ponyboy?" I asked softly to know one in particular. Then I strained to look past Darry and out the car window. On the porch I noticed Two-Bit leaning against a pillar, Casey stood near him with a wide grin of excitement. Owen sat on the bench under the living room window with a familiar boy sitting next to him. I screamed out, "Ponyboy!"

Ponyboy stood up from the bench and started towards the car.

"Ponyboy!" I yelled from inside the car. I couldn't contain my exhilaration as I tried to push my way out of the car past Darry, but when he couldn't move fast enough I dove over the seat to the back. I pulled up the lock knob and pushed the door open. I jumped out of the car. "Ponyboy!"

I met my brother on the sidewalk and the two us collided into each others arms.