The Diego Diaries: Shadow Box 48 edited for boo-boos :D

-0-In the CMO's office, Autobot City Medical Tower, Autobot City, Mars

"Hey."

"Hey."

(Big bot walks in and sits. Puts big old peds on the coffee table and grins) "What's up, Doc?"

(Snort. Grin) "Not much." (Critical observation of old mech undertaken) "Where's Hero?"

(Big bot's grin falters slightly) "Ada has her."

"Ali took her."

"NO!" (Pause to repress GINORMOUS snivel before it erupts) "I let him have her."

"Ah."

Silence. (Amused optics wait for peeved optics to begin) "That little femme is missing out on learning this city when a slagger snatches her away. I was planning to go to the quarries north of the city to show her energon mining."

"Well, she'll just flunk that question on the test, Only One." (Grin)

(Slight frown) "You're supposed to be on my side."

"I am. I signed on for the duration, remember?"

"Doesn't sound like it." (Miniscule pout)

(Onliest Only Red and White One pushes out his lower lip) "Awww. Want a thumb to suck?"

(Gigantic grin) "Too bad your face doesn't freeze."

"The city can't take that much beauty?" (Enormous grin)

"If you say so, Ratchet."

Grins - 2

"How do you feel?"

"Awesome."

"What's the sparkling doing right now?"

"He's recharging. He's a pretty good little mech. I have a vision of him being a lot like Orion and the two beating our afts together."

Pause. (Long silence)

"It was a nightmare then."

"It was."

Grins - 2

"So ... what about the protoform? Did you get around to that or are you going to torture me with worry?"

"I got it designed and sent to Wheeljack who agreed upon pain of death to keep it under lock and key." (White and red bot waits for the conniving to begin)

(Big black Autobot considers the options, the possibilities and comes to the conclusion that he will learn jackshit about the protoform. But that never stopped him before) "So ... wanna give a hint? A little hint. Small and insignificant in nature but a clue. A fragment of the truth cloaked in mystery."

"Why, Ironhide. That was sort of poetic."

(Preen) "That's me, poetic."

"You are, you know. When you fire your cannons and do a roll to miss incoming, that's poetry in motion for me. All that seething masculine format maneuvering without a thought through a minefield ... dodging rockets and bullets ... it's poetry."

(Big black Autobot peers at bond and wonders what the old coot really means) "Is that so."

(Big white and red Autobot peers at bond and feels maudlin deep regard for his old carcass) "Yes."

(They peer at each other, one looking for the rub and one looking to be rubbed)

"Oh."

Pause.

"You know, Ironhide ... being sparked again makes me take stock."

"Is that so." (Big black Autobot braces for ANYTHING)

"Yes." (Red and white mech with the fake chevron leans back in chair and plops big old peds on the desk before him, the one filled with work that never seems to get done but actually does. Get done that is) "I was thinking what a turn of fortune it was for the two of us to hook up, stay alive all this time and have a passel of younglings."

"It was fortunate." (Big black Autobot looks at peds of partner and pencils in rubbing them as per the sparking manual he had once read. Not the one Ratchet had filled with slag. He still had that one in his datafiles for the laughs but an actual real manual that he had gotten at The Infant Center in the Mall at Metroplex. That one)

"Yep." (Big grin animates the face of handsome but wily opticed medico)

Pause.

"That's it?" (Big black Autobot considers the mech before him with wary optics)

"Yep." (Grin)

"Okay." (Grin) "By the way, the remodel will be done tonight."

"Really? I thought they had more orns."

"It wasn't as hard as thought. We are ... what did they say? Easy."

(Snort. Grin) "That's probably true about a lot of things, Ironhide. I am after all sparked again."

(Snort. Grin) "That's because you can't resist my charisma."

(Grin. Big medico considers the considerable truth to that statement. Makes vow never to tell big black mech of his various waking dreams about it) "Okay."

Grins - 2

"I've been busy getting the apartment ready for the change of rooms."

"You're a good atar, Ironhide. What did you do and what do we need to do? Tonight? Is that when this all commences?"

"It does, Ratchet. I asked Sunspot on the way to school if he wanted a smaller bed or the 'big boy' bed. He said he thought a bigger bed would be better because the sparklings sleep with him a bunch."

"Those sparkling cribs need lids, Ironhide. I've said so before." (Grin)

"I remember." (Grin) "We're going to try a big bed but if its too big and takes up all his space, we can trade it off for a smaller one that is still bigger than the one he has now. That bed can be Orion's when you and I have the nerve to try him out in it."

"He might be ready, Ironhide."

"Maybe. We can see. I went to the Home Store in Metroplex and got bigger blankets and quilts. His won't fit. I have an order in for a Transformers quilt that size with matching pillow cases." (Grin) "Transformers."

Laughter and nods. - 2

"You are a very attentive atar, Ironhide."

"Thank you, Ratchet."

"You're welcome. What else did you do for Sunny." (Grin) "You know you did."

(Grin) "Have you ever seen those big decals that fit on the wall?"

"Like the human's football decals and ... (grin) ... Transformer images of us?"

(grin) "Yes. I got one of those. I had one printed up at the Specialty Fabrications-Miscellaneous office of the picture of Kaon's team. We can put it on the wall when he decides where he wants it."

(Pause) "That's genius, Ironhide. How big is it?"

"About six feet by five feet. I made it smaller than life size because little mech has his boards for badges and reports and pictures. Mech has to have his awards around him."

(grin) "He does. He's rather capable and accomplished for a tiny Seeker isn't he."

"He is." (Pride evident) "Little mech needs a new board soon and when he points out where it all goes, I will measure for another one. We have to fit it all and make it nice. Little mech can have sleepovers now. If one wall wasn't solid windows, he could spread it out more."

(Nods) "That's very true. Nice work, Ironhide. We can move out tonight or even now and get the room ready for him to redo when he gets out of school. He has a flying lesson today, right?"

"He does."

"Then he can wait until we all get home to be surprised. I will get takeout for dinner and we can all help. You know the sparklings will want to help."

"I know."

Grins - 2

"What are you going to do until then, Ironhide?"

"I have to work on the mission as soon as they devise the groups. We're going into the Oort Field for a few joors. I should be back about the time school is out. If not, you're going to have to get the sparklings."

Nods. "I will. What about Hero? Is Ali going?"

(Slight pout) "No. Ada is staying here to run sims on Teletraan."

"Oh." (Grin)

"I'm glad you think its funny."

"Its not that I don't sympathize. It's just that your face is so cute when you pout."

(Pause. Gimlet optics consider remark) "I don't know whether to feel complimented or insulted."

"Oh, complimented, Ironhide." (Grin)

Pause. (Grin) "Okay." Pause. "You made the sparkling with my face, right?"

Pause. "You aren't supposed to know things."

Pause. "It's a given, right? There are three sparklings with my face already. It's a reasonable assumption, right?"

"Assuming makes an ass of you and me." (Grin) "You really want to know, sad boy? You do realize that during the separation you have to be behind the barriers."

"Slag no!"

"Slag yes." Pause. "Swear on your ada's spark that when we go behind the barrier for this, you power down your optics and leave them that way."

Pause. "That's fragged."

"That's the only other alternative or I will go into the hills and do this in a gully."

Pause.

"That's fragged."

"I think so too but I'm resolved, Ironhide, you slagger. You wanted a new dollie and I agreed with terms. You have to agree or I'll bean you with this desk."

Pause. "Terms? Remind me what I agreed to in a weak moment."

"No peeking. No asking. No contact after separation until he's unveiled on naming day. Those are your slagging traditions, you slagger. No contact or peeking. AT ALL! Remember?"

"I had to have been drunk."

"You might have been. I know I was." (Grin)

(Grin) "You are one hard aft old slagger."

"Terms. Agreed upon. Enforced with EXTREME prejudice."

"I was drunk." (Vented sigh) "What's for dinner?"

SNORT! "What do you want?"

"Jazz told me about something Rampage makes that's called "Thai". Let's try that."

"Where do I get it?"

"Cafe Praxus does it and you can get it before you pick up the sparklings. I am sure I'm going to be cutting it fine."

(Nods) "Well?"

"Well what?" (Attempt to look clueless and innocent fails by a wide margin as it comes across as vacant and adorable)

(Grin) "Well, terms, Ironhide. And don't give me that look. You know I am going to be hardcore about this even if you give me your cute face."

"It is rather cute." (Grin) "The twins said we're embarrassing them."

"How?" (Grin)

"All this sparking. Makes them jealous I think."

"Do you think so? I would think they would be embarrassed at the idea of their genitors 'facing still."

(Slight frown) "Why would that make them embarrassed, the slaggers?"

"Make an image. Your genitors are fragging."

(Enormous look of alarm and distaste) "What?!"

"Now you know." (grin)

"They should be glad we still frag. We could be stodgy and boring. Slaggers. Maybe we should have an audience next time we frag. Maybe they can come and watch us inaugerate the new berthroom." (Waggling optical ridges commence)

"I'll invite them now."

(Optical ridges move over top of helm and come to a stop somewhere in the vicinity of big Autobot's aft) "The frag you will!" (grins) "I don't want to overwhelm them with my technique. They don't call me the Maestro of The Sexy for nothing."

"Who does?"

Pause. "I can't tell you but I have my fans."

"How about some more. If they come, they can give you a standing ovation."

"Uh, that's alright, Ratchet."

(Grin) "You can show them your version of foreplay or what is commonly called Greco-Roman wrestling on Earth."

"It got me four sparklings, my devastating technique." (Prim look of self satisfaction warring with the fear that bond will actually invite their two oldest sparklings to watch)

"It did. As for the devastating, the dents in the wall of our old quarters at the Embassy are testament to that." (grin)

"Oh, ha-ha, Ratchet." (Grin) (Pauses to take an internal comm) "Gotta motor. They're heading out to the Oort Field."

"Be careful. Come home. Don't bend any vital bits." (Grin)

(Rises and walks to wily bond. Kisses him) "Count on it." (Turns to walk to door and pauses.) "Ratchet?"

"What?" (grin)

"I love you, old mech."

"I love you too." (grin)

(grin) "Ratchet? Don't tell anyone."

"Count on it." (Grin)

Big black Autobot walks out with a spring in his step.

:Ali:

:Ali here: (grin)

:Thank you for Ironhide:

(Grin) :You're welcome:

With that, big red and white Autobot gets back to work.

-0-TBC For Pip

2013 (2)