Genre: Humour/Drama

Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama or any of the characters, except for the unknown guy cloaked in dark robes.

Gintama: Smackdown Arc

Gintoki unsheathed his own wooden sword and barely managed to meet the blow in time. Gritting his teeth, he centred a huge burst of strength in the back of his sword and sent Tendou recoiling.

"Didn't you say you had stage fright?" Gintoki commented. "You sure packed a lot of power in that first strike when so many people are watching you."

"Heh," Tendou gave a smile, reaching out a hand to grab the ropes. "I only wrote that because I wanted to proceed on to the third P.S."

"Just how much of an idiot are you?! Is PISS such a funny thing that you must share it? Don't you see it every day when you use the toilet? Besides, if you just inserted an I in the second P.S., it will have been the same word, you idiot!"

"Oh," Tendou mumbled, head inclined slightly. "Oh yeah, you are right! How could I not have thought of that?"

"Because you are an idiot, that's why!" Gintoki yelled as he charged at him.

The wooden sword sliced thin air.

More out of instinct than anything, he immediately spun around.

There was nobody in sight.

"Crap," Gintoki mutters as he rolls to the right. The tip of a golden sword pierced through the very spot he had been in just a second ago.

"That was close," he thought. "Is my sugar level running low? I must make sure to get more parfaits later. Maybe I could put it on this guy's tab."

"As expected from the samurai who managed to defeat Jirochou in battle," Tendou said appraisingly, contemplating his next move. "You have the strength and the agility. What about… your skill?"

He used the middle rope at the side of the ring as a form of footing and leapt towards Gintoki, spinning in an arc.

"Tch, what skill are you talking about? Ballet?" Gintoki said as he dodged out of the way. With Tendou's back mercifully exposed, Gintoki aimed right for him with the back of the sword.

Tendou somersaulted into the air and landed right behind him.

"My win, then," he says, before making a stabbing motion. Gintoki could only turn around to face him when the golden sword pierced through fabric.

"Gin-san!" Shinpachi and Kagura yelled outside the ring. The air turned still.

Blood spurted, but Gintoki was still on his feet.

"What the?" Tendou said, stepping back. "I could swear I just stabbed through your heart. How are you still standing?"

Gintoki grins as he turns around. "Sorry, but that wasn't my blood." He reached into his robes and drew out a red-coloured bottle.

"Is that…" Tendou squinted. "Is that… ketchup? Why the hell do you have a bottle of ketchup on you?!"

"Well, sometimes when there are no sweet condiments for my food, I will resort to this bottle of mine," Gintoki gave a wide smile. "It might not be that sweet, but it still supplies enough sugar for my system."

"All I know is that you are not going to live for long with that sugary lifestyle of yours, dude," Tendou said.

"It's fine. If I am going to die anyway, why not live life beautifully to the end?"

"Your sense of beauty is sugar overdose? Well, I don't know what to say to that, to be honest. But…" he charged at Gintoki. "My sense of beauty is much better than that, that's for sure."

"Really?" Gintoki said, parrying his slice. "Why don't you tell me about it? Your sense of beauty…"

Swords locked in combat with neither party willing to give way, they were literally face-to-face.

"Why should I?" Tendou gave a forceful grin. "You will not understand anything about it, anyway."

"You are right, I won't understand a shit about it. But know this, your master did understand-"

Tendou's pupils contracted; with a huge burst of strength, he broke the deadlock.

"He told you, huh?" Tendou said, spitting on the floor. "That old man told you all about me?"

"Not exactly everything," Gintoki said. "But he did say he got this talented student a long time ago. That student had basically everything, but with a warped sense of beauty, apparently."

"Warped? How is that student's sense of beauty warped?" Tendou snarled and lunged at Gintoki, sword poised for an overhead cut.

Gintoki parried the blow with an underhand strike. Countering, he exerted force on his sword and sent Tendou crashing back towards the ropes.

"That student felt that Kabukicho should be doused in red. Not your normal ketchup or chili red, though," Gintoki said, eyebrows descending slightly. "He felt that the district should be doused in blood. Real sadistic, isn't he? Imagine painting an entire district with the blood of the residents. Really takes the icing on the cake, geez."

"Was he wrong?" Tendou yelled, leaping off a rope and piercing through the air. "Was he wrong to have such a sense of beauty? Was that wrong enough to get him expelled by his master? Tell me, was that really so wrong?!"

"Don't underestimate human lives, you idiot!" Gintoki shouted, barraging forward and sending a shell-shocked Tendou to the floor. "They are not your playthings, nor are they in any way inferior to your own. If you thought that the blood of humans would beautify the district, you were not just wrong. You had totally gone against the teachings of your master, you idiot!"

"Did I?" Tendou hollered. "All I wanted was to see my master taking his rightful place as the ruler of Kabukicho. He had always been protecting the district in the shadows, yet the residents seemed to regard him as scum. Am I wrong for wanting to see those bastards' blood splashed on the buildings? Am I wrong for wanting to see my master get recognized for what he did?!"

He clutched his head in his hands, looking for all the world like a trembling wreck.

"If it was not for my master, I will have been dead on the streets long ago. Kabukicho was an unforgiving place. If you did not learn how to survive, it will definitely reject you," he shook. "Yet, a supposedly fearsome man not only saved me, but clothed me and taught me in the arts of swordsmanship. I wanted everyone to see him as I do. I wanted everyone to respect Jirochou, not despise him!"

"When I told him about my ideals, I thought he will encourage me or something. Surely he wanted some due respect as well? Yet, the old man forcibly ejected me from his tutelage and left me on my own. I wanted to make him regret his decision, but even I was aware that I am not strong enough. I left Kabukicho for the village of Sinewacho, where I met a samurai who might even be stronger than Jirochou. After training under him, I felt I was finally ready to avenge myself. When I left, these two idiots followed me, saying that they wanted to protect me," he pointed to his managers, who were standing rigidly outside the ring, biting their lips.

"It was kind of a shock when I found out that Jirochou had disappeared from Kabukicho. All I ever wanted to do in the last four years was to defeat him, yet he vanished on me when I finally came back. What had I trained so hard for, I had thought," he gave a bitter laugh. "But the barman I was talking to had told me about a certain individual. If he was not wrong, that individual had actually defeated Jirochou right before he disappeared."

He gave a forceful smile.

"My hopes were raised. I thought that if I could defeat the man who actually won my master, I will be able to avenge myself in an alternate way. But it didn't work well, did it? I'm here, crashed in a slump at the side of the ring, totally defeated."

He closed his eyes. "Finish me off, then."

Gintoki gave a sigh and sheathed his sword.

"Listen here, you idiot," he said. "What you had wanted right from the very start wasn't revenge. Your supposed sense of beauty was a great deal of Sadaharu-shit as well. All you have ever desired for was for your master to be respected, to be recognised for his virtue. Your sadism just took that simple desire to a totally whole new level, that's all."

"What do you mean?" Tendou asked, outraged. "I was out baying for his blood right from the very moment Jirochou disowned me!"

"Look at the venue you picked," Gintoki said, gesturing to the stands. "Why was it that you chose to publicize our duel? Why didn't you just approach me on the streets and fight me there and then? Since when did samurai fights turn to WWE brawls?"

"I…" Tendou muttered.

"Somewhere in your subconsciousness, you wanted everyone in Kabukicho to see Jirochou's student fight. You wanted them to see the skills that Jirochou himself had somewhat imparted. Even in some tiny way or another, you felt that your master would have been recognized," Gintoki said.

"That's…" Tendou paused, looking down.

"Stand up," Gintoki commanded.

Tendou looked up, saw the intense gaze in his opponent's eyes and slowly regained his footing.

"Since you challenged me in the hopes that you will be able to defeat Jirochou in some twisted, sadistic way, it will only be fair for the challenge to be similar to the duel I had with Jirochou," Gintoki said, unsheathing his sword and reaching into his pocket.

Tendou held his own sword, looking confused.

"When this coin lands on the ground," Gintoki played with a metal coin on his fingertip. "We will aim to defeat each other in a single strike. Did you get it?"

Tendou's eyes widened.

"That… that was a game I used to play with him…" he stuttered. "But it wasn't with real swords. It was played with wooden swords…"

"Well, here goes, then," Gintoki said, flipping the coin high into the air.

As the entire crowd in the stands waited with bated breath, Gintoki and Tendou held their swords ready at the side and looked at each other.

Ting

At the very instant the fallen coin emitted the tinkling sound, both samurais leapt towards each other with a single strike.

The atmosphere was heavy, abnormally so. Both samurais stood for a few seconds, before one eventually fell.

"Haha," Tendou gave a small laugh. "Was that how you defeated my master as well?"

"Yeah, but I used the back of a silver sword, though," Gintoki said, sheathing his wooden sword.

"I see. Looks like I was really foolish for believing that I was ready to challenge my master. Four years of training is obviously not enough to upend an old man with twenty years of experience. Ahh, I really screwed up this time, didn't I?"

"Go and find out yourself," Gintoki said. "That old man is near the Flora Mountains with his daughter, although I just can't fathom what kind of things they could do together in some flowery land."

"Master has a daughter?!" Tendou gasped, choking on his breath.

"Yeah, a real sadist like you," Gintoki snorted. "I bet you could hit it off straightaway. Probably go around murdering flowers or something." He climbed out of the ring and smiled at the beaming face of Kagura. After he had patted her head, he turned to Shinpachi, who was looking strangely morose.

"What's wrong, Patsuan? What's with the gloomy face? You won't have to eat your sister's cooking for the rest of your life already, you know?"

Shinpachi did not say a word. He simply stepped forward and took Gintoki's weight on his own shoulder.

"Not even you can fool me, Gin-san," Shinpachi said softly. "That blood of yours isn't just ketchup, is it?"

Gintoki simply closed his eyes and smiled.

"Glad you noticed, Patsuan," he said, before his vision faded to black.