Rayna looked up as the door opened. Deacon entered and looked over at her, then walked over and sat in the chair perpendicular to hers. "Hey," he said.

She gave him a small smile. "Hey." She shifted in her chair. "You sure you're ready for this?"

He nodded. Just then, Dr. Harris opened the door to his office. "Rayna, Deacon, I'm ready for you," he said. They exchanged glances, then got up. Deacon followed Rayna into the office.

Rayna sat on the couch and Deacon sat in the chair opposite her. Dr. Harris sat in his usual seat, where he could see both of them. "I'm glad that you're both ready to talk to each other again," Dr. Harris started.

Rayna put her hand up to stop him. "Dr. Harris, I'd like to start, if that's okay." She looked at Deacon. "And if it's okay with you." He nodded. She took a deep breath and looked down at her hands, then back up at Deacon. "Maddie told me, the night of the CMA's, that this was all my mistake. And she was right. She wasn't a mistake. Having her wasn't a mistake. Even getting pregnant wasn't a mistake. All I ever wanted was to be your wife and have your babies. We'd talked about it so many times, but it was never the right time. But when I did get pregnant, everything was so scary and I made mistakes. I didn't tell you I was pregnant. I didn't tell you when she was born. I didn't tell you at any point while she was growing up. And I wasn't the one to tell you at all."

She looked away for a moment, then back at Deacon, who sat there watching her. "I thought it was enough for you to know her, have a relationship with her, but I was wrong. It was a mistake for me to think I could get away with that. She had a good father – I hope you can acknowledge that, at least. But she should have grown up knowing who you were. I can see that now." Her eyes were moist and she wiped away the tears. "I was afraid, Deacon. And I was exhausted. Living with you, and loving you, were the hardest things I'd ever done. I'm embarrassed to say that I didn't want to do it anymore. That was why I left you and then, when I found out I was pregnant, it was why I let other people convince me that the best thing to do was not tell you."

She got up from the couch and walked over to the window, looking out at the rainy day. "I did think I was doing the best thing for my baby. I wanted her to have a stable home and you and I just hadn't had that. I know I told you that I did go out to the cabin to tell you, but when I saw how you were, I let Tandy talk me into leaving. I walked away and I'm ashamed. I should have given you a chance." She took a deep breath. "I know that keeping you in my life so that she could have a relationship with you wasn't fair. To either one of you. But it was the closest thing I could get to us having a chance to be together with her. At least that's what I thought."

She turned back to look at him. "You asked me that night why I didn't tell you when she was younger. I didn't because I was afraid. It wouldn't have been easy to do that, because there was Teddy to consider, but I know now that I should have at least done that." Tears started rolling down her face again. "I didn't do anything right in this situation. I know it's not enough, but I'm so sorry and I hope that someday you can forgive me for this."

Deacon worked his lip. His eyes were full of pain as he sat considering her words. "You didn't do everything wrong, Rayna," he said finally. "You're a good mother and you did a good job raising Maddie."

Rayna gave him a tiny smile. "Every day I looked at her, I saw you. She couldn't have been more perfect." She sighed. "And I was always glad she was yours."

Deacon rubbed his face with his hands. Then he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his thighs and clasping his hands together. He looked down. "I did hear you when you said there was no good time to blow up her life. I'd never been a parent and I didn't understand that then, but now I do. There would never have been a good time to tell her, I get that. But you should have done it at some point, when she was younger. Being Maddie's dad has been the best part of my life. I still wish I'd gotten all those years with her, but we're going to make the best of what we do have."

He looked up at her then. "I know I was a mess when you got pregnant. I understand all of that now. But when I found out about Maddie and that you had never told me, I felt like I didn't know you. The woman I knew, that I had loved for so long, wouldn't do that, couldn't do that. It's taken a long time and a lot of work to move beyond it. To decide how to live with that. But I look at Maddie and I'm blown away by the fact that we made her. I always loved her, you know that, and to know she's part mine is the most amazing thing."

He looked away for a moment, then back at her. "I guess what I want to say is that we do have to be her parents together. That day at the open mic showed me we could do that. And I think I'm finally at a place where I can forgive you. I still think a lot of it was wrong and it still hurts, probably always will, but I can't hang on to the mad, as a wise friend of mine told me once. I still don't know what happens for you and me, but I do want us to be able to be good parents – together – for Maddie."

Rayna closed her eyes, then opened them and smiled. "I'm grateful that you're willing to forgive me. I know I don't deserve…."

"It's not a matter of deserving it," Deacon said, interrupting her. "But I can't get past all this if I don't do that. I need to let it go or I'll just be bitter forever and that won't help Maddie."

Rayna held her breath. She hadn't thought he'd really let her off that easily. "Maddie has always been most important," she said softly.

Deacon stood up and walked closer to her. "I still have questions though, Rayna. Like I still need to understand why you never told me about her." He ran his hands over his face, shaking his head. "I've been sober over thirteen years. You can't tell me that there was never a time during those thirteen years that you didn't think I was good enough that you could tell me."

Rayna felt a chill run down her spine at the look on his face. He may have forgiven the act, but she didn't really think he'd forgiven her. She stood looking at him, not really sure what to say. She breathed in and then ran her tongue over her lips, looking away. When she looked back, he was still looking at her with that questioning stare. "I was just protecting her, Deacon," she said. "I didn't want to blow up her life. She was just a child. How was she supposed to understand grown up things like that?"

Deacon shook his head. "Rayna, I was around her her whole life. Maybe it would have been challenging when she was tiny, but how about when she was old enough to understand? Daphne's ten and she understands all this. Why would Maddie have been different?"

She looked down. "If it had just been me, maybe it would have been different, but I had Teddy to consider. I mean, he was the only father she'd ever known."

He let out a sharp, sarcastic laugh. "That fucking Teddy Conrad, the one who told you to lie to me about my own daughter," he said, shaking his head. "The one who can't face the truth himself, that he's not her biological father. He's the one who made you think that this was all an illusion. That I really couldn't be trusted to stay sober and be a father to my daughter!"

Rayna turned to him, her eyes flashing. "You did that all on your own, Deacon!" she cried. "I spent eleven years dealing with your lack of dependability, your inability to be trusted. I had to live with the fear that you wouldn't come home, that you'd drink yourself to death, that the least little thing would send you off the wagon." She took a deep breath, her chest heaving. "I was scared! I wanted you to be better. I was glad you were better. I believed in that. But I had seen you make promises you couldn't keep and I was scared. It was one thing when it was just me. But now we had a daughter. And I couldn't do that to her."

Deacon walked back to his chair and sat, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, looking up at her. "I spent a lot of time in rehab talking about why I drank. Because, you know, they want you to figure that kind of shit out before you go back out in the world." He nodded his head towards Dr. Harris. "And Dr. Harris made me go through that again too. But you, Rayna, you never asked me why I drank. When I came home, all those times, we never talked about that." She looked at him with regret. He shook his head. "But that was okay. I didn't really want to have to tell you all of that. Because it was ugly." He took a deep breath. "My family was screwed up. You know about Beverly, of course, but did you ever really think about why she and I were like we were? Well, my father was a drunk and my mama was crazy. So she and I, we grew up just like them." Rayna looked distraught. "My father was a mean drunk. He beat us up, he pushed my mama around and Beverly and me too. Our lives were hell. I was scared every damn day. I was scared my father would beat me, sometimes for no other reason than because I crossed his path. My mama couldn't protect us and there were times I hated her for that."

Rayna gasped and raised her hand to her mouth. Tears formed in her eyes. "I never knew," she said softly.

Deacon rubbed his face and brushed away the tears with the heel of his hand. "I didn't want you to know," he said brokenly. "You were so pretty and sweet and young and perfect, and I didn't want you to know about my past. I drank to forget all that. I drank because I was afraid I'd never be good enough." He looked up at her. "But you know what? I liked it. I liked the taste of it. It felt good going down, all warm and smooth. I didn't like being wasted and I sure as hell didn't like how I felt hungover, but I couldn't stop. I tried. God knows I tried." He worked his lip. "I hated what it did to you, what I did to you. I hated disappointing you, never being the man you wanted me to be. I didn't know how to stop, not really, but you always took me back. And then you didn't. And so I get why you didn't believe in me then. I get that you gave me a hundred chances and then on that next time, you said no."

Rayna wrapped her arms around her waist. "It was the hardest thing I'd ever done," she said, her voice nearly a whisper. "I didn't want to do that."

Deacon shook his head. "But I got better, Rayna. I still need you to tell me why that wasn't enough. It was enough for you to bring me back into your band, it was enough for us to be friends, it was enough for you to let me be part of your daughters' lives." He breathed in. "It was enough for you to come stand on my porch and tell me you'd never not loved me. Why wasn't it enough for you to tell me we had a daughter?"

Rayna looked away. She had somehow hoped she wouldn't have to say it out loud, because it sounded so horrible to her. But she realized he wasn't going to let it go. And that if she didn't say it, they would never have a chance. She put her hands on her hips and took several deep breaths, then threw her arms out in front of her. "Okay, I didn't tell you because every day that went on, I didn't know how to even start that conversation. How was I supposed to come to you and tell you that I'd lied to you, that I'd had a baby and she was yours and I didn't know how to tell you that? I didn't know how to tell you so that you wouldn't hate me. I didn't want you to cut me out of your life and I knew, the longer it went on, that you'd do that. And see? I was right, because that's exactly what's happened." She wrapped her arms around her waist again.

Deacon looked a little stunned as he listened. He breathed slowly in and out as he processed what she'd said. "Why did you come back to me, without telling me?" he asked.

Rayna screwed up her face in anguish. "I was selfish! I wanted you for myself and I couldn't tell you, because I couldn't have you walk out of my life." She swiped at her tears. "Oh, God," she murmured. "I did a horrible thing. I have no excuse. I did a horrible thing." She turned and looked out the window.

Behind her, Deacon watched her with sorrow in his eyes. He stood, but didn't move. "For thirteen years, I did this for you. I stayed sober for you. I got sober for you. Every time I got challenged, I thought about you and making you proud. Showing you that you were right to have faith in me. But this time I couldn't do it for you. So I had to do it for me."

He put his hands on his hips, then reached up one hand and rubbed it across his mouth. "I don't think us making Maddie was a mistake either. I've never thought that. There was a reason for it and maybe we should have dealt with it before or maybe now was the time. But I get now that I have to stay sober for me, so I can be the dad she deserves. This is all about Maddie, Rayna, not us, but her. We have to be the best parents we can be, for her." He cleared his throat. "I had to forgive myself too, for all the pain I caused you, that led you to think you couldn't depend on me, that I couldn't be a father to Maddie – ever, and that kept you and me apart all those years."

She turned to look at him, tears streaking down her face. "I made such a mess of everything," she said.

His eyes were sad, but not angry. "Rayna, we made this amazing girl together. Even if we didn't raise her up together, she's ours. She's the best of both of us and we have to do right by her."

Rayna turned away, towards the window, her arms around her waist. Tears trailed down her cheeks and then she lifted her hand to cover her mouth. She felt Deacon's hands on her arms, knew he was standing right behind her, not touching her, but close enough that she could feel his heat. He took a deep breath and then sighed. "It's good for us to put it all out there, Rayna," he said, his voice sad. "It's the only way we're gonna be able to do this at all." He cleared his throat. "I'm not walking away. I'm not turning my back on you. We're gonna have to do this together."

Rayna dipped her head, the tears coming harder. "I never wanted to hurt you," she said, brokenly. "But that's exactly what I did. I have no excuses and nothing I can hide behind. I understand why you hated me. I hated me too. I just hope I can make up, in some way, for all the wrong I did to you and to Maddie."

Deacon was silent for several minutes, still grasping her arms. Then he pressed lightly and let her go. "We'll figure it out," he said softly.