Pirate Business

So this chapter was inspired by Kage kitsune of light, who mentioned having a pirate styled chapter so here you go. Romano's in this chapter too, so obviously that means bad language, however I refuse to swear so there is suggested swearing but he will get cut off. I'm pretty sure that's it so I hope you enjoy.
And I forgot to mention it earlier but this story hit 50 reviews YAY! (I would have done some sort of reward for the 50th review but it turns out the person who actually reviewed was my cousin, so I doubt you're reading this chapter but thank you Hannah.)

It was roughly one week after the meeting fiasco when the Golden Trio got the time and date for their detention with Professor Kirkland. At 8pm on Friday night the Golden Trio made their way to the DADA classroom to begin their detention.

"Why are we in the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom for a detention with our Care of Magical Creatures Professor?" Ron voiced what everyone was thinking as he opened the door.
"Well Mr Weasley I didn't particularly want to have this detention outside- which is where my classroom normally is. I also didn't think you would either which is why I asked Vladimir and Lukas if I could use their classroom. If you would care to take a seat we can start with your detention." Professor Kirkland said from the front of the classroom. "Now, you can start by writing lines until I can think of something a little more appropriate. You can write 'I will no longer spy on my professor or stick my nose into his private business'."
Harry started writing on the paper in front of him, at least this wasn't like his detention with Umbridge.

Harry had filled about half of the paper with the line when his train of thought was interrupted by a 'smash' and shouting that came from outside the classroom.
It seemed that Professor Kirkland had also heard it. "Mr Potter can you please focus and continue your lines."
Well he would have if the door didn't get knocked down.
"Captain Kirkland! Get out from your hiding place you coward and fight me like a man!"
Both the Golden Trio and their professor looked up in shock.

The man who shouted had a Spanish accent along with a tanned complexion to match it. Curly chocolate locks hung over his forehead, standing out against his olive green eyes. But the main thing that Harry noticed was the dark green pirate clothes he was wearing.
"Where did you go you tomato bast-"
"Lovino!" Professor Kirkland cut off the new comer as he entered the room.
'Lovino' (Harry presumed the young mans name was) had greeney-amber eyes, he had dark brown with a strange curl on the left side of his head. An Italian accent was also present in his voice.

"Oh great you're here too Eyebrows!" The Italian shouted at Professor Kirkland.
"Could you please be a bit more polite Lovino, my students are here. Now what exactly happened to Antonio?" Professor Kirkland ignored the abuse Lovino was giving him.
"The bas-" Professor Kirkland glared at the young man. "Idiot, I mean. Decided to get drunk with the rest of those perverts. I went to pick him up and all of a sudden he's a pirate again!"
"I can see that." The professor growled. "But why is he here?"
Lovino shrugged. "Why the hell should I know?!"

Any other argument between the Brit and the Italian was cut off when Antonio grabbed a sword from the wall and held it against Professor Kirkland's throat.
"Professor!" Hermione cried out in distress.
"I'm fine Miss Granger, just stay out of it. Antonio don't be stupid."
Harry had to admit the guy was pretty calm for someone who had a sword against their throat.
"You know he probably won't listen to you unless you play along with the pirate thing." Lovino spoke up.
"Fine, my office is third on the right down this corridor." Professor Kirkland tossed a key to Lovino. "There's a chest with my pirate stuff inside it, get me my coat and hat."
The Golden Trio had no idea what was happening but apparently Lovino did because he raced out of the classroom.

Lovino returned in a matter of moments, a pirate hat and a long red coat in his hands. Passing them to the still incapacitated teacher Lovino was met with a glare.
"What? I'm not going to dress you, you do know that right?"
Professor Kirkland continued to glare at Lovino, but turned his attention to Antonio.
"If you don't mind Captain Carriedo, I would like to change my clothes before we fight."
Antonio just laughed in response (quite an evil one with that), but he did remove his sword from Professor Kirkland's neck. "Do as you wish Arthur, but it does seem that I have caught one of the most feared pirates of all the seven seas in surprise. I take that you didn't expect to be in my presence tonight."
"That's a bit of an understatement." The Englishman muttered as he proceeded to change into a more pirate-y look. Apparently all the Professor needed to do to achieve this was discard his sweater vest and done his coat and hat (he also grabbed the remaining sword from the wall).

"Now them Captain Carriedo, you have trespassed on my territory. Prepare to die."
Both swords clashed together, a fierce look on both men's faces. Lovino however didn't look that bothered, he was slumped in the seat next to Harry, a bored look on his face and a tomato clutched in his hand. Wait? Where did he get that from?
"Um, Lovino?" Harry looked over to the bored Italian. "Does this happen a lot?"
"Depends." Was the short reply that Harry got.
"On what?" Hermione asked, joining in the conversation.
"On how much they drink."
"So Antonio is drunk." Hermione processed the new information. "Well that makes sense."
Lovino nodded. "Normally it happens to Arthur though. He's a bit of an alcoholic, so to speak."
"Professor Kirkland's an alcoholic?" Hermione exclaimed in shock.
"Well that explains a lot." Ron added, a smirk on his face.

Harry turned back to the two fighting 'pirates'. He didn't know a lot about sword fighting but by the looks of it both men were good at it. Antonio was clearly the most offensive fighter but every jab and slash that was directed to his foe was met with Professor Kirkland's sword, preventing him from doing much harm to the Englishman.
Turning back to his two best friends and the grumpy Italian he was met with the three discussing how to stop the two fighting men.

"So, we just have to make Antonio sober?" Ron concluded.
Lovino nodded, confirming the red-heads statement. "I don't know how though, sleep and tomato soup aren't really an option at the moment."
Seeing the teens' look of confusion Lovino explained further. "Antonio can sometime get sober by having tomato soup."
Quickly getting over the confusion about the Spanish mans habits, Hermione put her brain to use. "Something to make Antonio sober... a spell maybe?"
Hermione caught the looks Ron and Harry were both giving her. "What?"
"You're the smart one." Ron explained.
"That doesn't mean I know a spell for soberness!"
"What about sober-ikus?"
"There is no way that will ever work." Hermione replied to Ron's suggestion.
"You never know until you try." To prove this Ron took out his wand, pointed it to the still fighting pirates and repeated his 'spell'.
"Soberikus!"

A strange smoggy essence burst from Ron's wand and floated towards the two men. Everyone stopped and started to see if Ron actually did something relatively clever. The smoke curled around Antonio's face and promptly disappeared, every one looked in awe to see the effects.
Antonio's eyes cleared slightly, and they then settled on Lovino.
"Roma! Mi pequeño tomate." The Spaniard cried, capturing the Italian in a bone crushing hug.
"Get off me you-" But any abuse that Lovino was going to say was cut off when his face was squished against Antonio's chest.

""Well it looks like Antonio is back to normal." Professor Kirkland said coming over to the Golden Trio. "Well done Mr Weasley. Ten points to Gryffindor."
Ron beamed with praise while Hermione had a slight frown on her face.
"I refuse to believe that that was a real spell." She said.
"It worked didn't it." Ron replied, a smug look on his face.
"You might as well go now." Professor Kirkland interrupted the two. "But if I catch you spying again your punishment will be a lot worse."

The Trio exited the room, Hermione still slightly upset, Ron still beaming while Harry just shook his head at them both. What a strange turn of events, that was surely one of the weirdest detentions he had ever had.

The Spanish 'Mi pequeno tomate' means 'My little tomato' incase you didn't know or you didn't Google Translate it. I hope you enjoyed, if you did please leave a review and any suggestions leave in a review because I'm running out of ideas. I have another chapter in progress so hopefully that will be up soon. See you then.
: )