The Cupcake Catastrophe

Thanks to Kage kitsune of light for suggesting the 2p's and a double thanks because I think you've suggested the most chapter ideas so that has really helped me out. In case anyone doesn't know Oliver is England, Al is America, Matt is Canada and Francois is France. I loved writing this because I adore Oliver, so I hope you enjoy it too.

A heavy rain was falling on the ground of Hogwarts, so to all the students delight all the outside classes were cancelled. Because of this the only classes the Golden Trio had that day were Transfiguration and Potions. The former was an enjoyable lesson with the class learning how to turn animals into musical into musical instruments, it was Potions that the Trio weren't looking forward to.

"Snape's gonna be extra jerky today." Ron stated as they made their way to the dungeons.
"Any reason for saying that Ron?" Hermione asked, she wasn't too keen on the hated Potions Professor, but at least she didn't make a big deal about it.
Ron shrugged. "Bats hate rain."
All three students burst into giggles, but quickly stifled themselves when they neared the classroom.
Hour of torture here we come.

But they were met with surprise instead. Snape's usual dark classroom had been painted a pale pink, a blue tablecloth covered the normally dusty teachers desk along with a few photo frames. But honestly it was the man standing at the front of the classroom that surprised Harry the most.
"Professor Kirkland?!"
Even if it was Professor Kirkland, he didn't look half different. His normally blonde hair now had a tint of pink to it, emerald eyes were now bright sapphire along with pink swirls. He was also wearing the strangest outfit Harry had ever seen (and that included his Aunt's fashion taste). He had a light pink dress shirt underneath a pinky-purple waistcoat, he also wore brown trousers and to finish the entire look off a blue bow tie was around his neck.

"Hello poppets."
'Yeah this is defiantly not Professor Kirkland.' Harry thought.
"Um excuse me... sir?" Hermione asked warily. "Who are you?"
"Oliver Kirkland, at your service." Oliver beamed. "Cupcake?" He asked pulling the frosted treat from seemingly nowhere.
"No thank you. Do you happen to know where Professor Snape is?" Hermione was being very careful with her words, and Harry could understand why, this guy was creeping him out.
"The man in black? He insulted my cupcakes. I don't like him." Harry paled slightly, this guy was crazy!

Fortunately the children were saved when the actual Professor Kirkland walked into the classroom.
"Severus, do you think you could..." The Brit seemed to notice the lack of Professor Snape, or all the pink. He then seemed to notice Oliver standing at the front of the class. "Oliver what are you doing here?"
"You two know each other Professor?" Neville asked.
"Yes." Professor Kirkland answered with a sigh. "We're... brothers."
At this statement it looked like Oliver's entire world brightened. "You really think we're brothers?"
"Technically, yes." Professor Kirkland couldn't say much more as in an instant he was bombarded with a hug from Oliver.
" Thank you, thank you Artie!" Oliver managed to get out between all the hugs he was giving his brother.
"Don't call me Artie, and get the bloody hell off me."

With this Oliver's demeanour changed drastically, Harry was sure whether it was the 'Artie' thing or the slightly rude word but either way Oliver was mad.
"Bad Arthur! That's a pound in the swear jar."
"Oh my God not this again!" The Professor frowned but still passed the pound to Oliver without an argument.
"Good boy Artie, do you want a cupcake?" Oliver smiled.
"No thanks." Harry could tell that Professor Kirkland do seem slightly uncomfortable around his brother. He wondered why.
"Oliver what did you do with Severus?" Professor Kirkland asked, looking tired of Oliver. But Oliver, who seemed oblivious to his brother's annoyance, just tapped his nose.
"That's for me to know and you to find out. Cupcake?"
"I don't want one of your f****** cupcakes!" Professor Kirkland shouted.

If Oliver seemed to get upset when someone said hell he was positively livid when his brother said the f word (and when he insulted his cupcakes).
The pink in Oliver's eyes became more prominent and an evil smile grew on his face.
"Now now Arthur, that wasn't a nice thing to say was it?"
"Calm down Oliver, I didn't mean it. I'm sorry." Professor Kirkland tried to apologise, but clearly Oliver wouldn't accept it.
"If you didn't mean it then why did you say it?" Oliver got even scarier when he produced a knife from his back pocket.
Professor Kirkland decided to prolong the rest of his life for as long as possible by running out of the Potions classroom and into the corridor, Oliver quickly sprinting after him.

The classroom was quiet for a bit after this happened, before Hermione broke it. "Do you think we should run too?"
Before anyone could answer the bookworm Oliver came back. Hands and knife smeared in blood.
"Sorry about that children, but we can't have Arthur running around being rude to anyone can we?"
"Um, Mr Kirkland, sir?" Hermione asked bravely. "What exactly did you do to Professor Kirkland?"
Oliver just shook his head. "Nothing, don't worry your pretty little head. Now then apparently this Potions class is the closest thing this school has to a Cookery class. So I am going to teach you how to make cupcakes."
Oliver then began to teach the class how to make 'real' cupcakes, because according to him if you buy a mix and add eggs and water then that just creates a 'fake cupcake without any character', he was about halfway through this lesson when two people burst down the door.

"Oliver! Where the hell are you?!"
Harry turned around in his seat so he could get a look at the newcomers. Both looked around the same age, and though there was some sibling resemblance most of the two men's features were different. The one on the right had dark auburn-brown hair with a strange cow-lick at the front. He had a tanned complexion with dark red eyes. A baseball bat was clutched in his hand, but the thing that worried Harry was the nails and the dried blood on the bat.
The man next to him had longish shoulder length blonde hair that was tied in a short pony tail, he too had a strange curl but it was longer and looped. He carried a hockey stick wrapped in barbed wire and also covered in blood. Dark red sunglasses covered his eyes and the glare he was most likely giving everyone.

"Al! What do I keep telling you about your language?" Oliver shouted at the dark haired man, or Al. "Do you want to pay the swear jar?"
"Whatever, anyway Francois wants you back. Right now."
"Is it important? I'm busy teaching these poppets how to bake cupcakes."
"You bake cupcakes all the time." The blonde man complained.
"That doesn't mean it's not important Matt."
"Okay, okay. Look we have to go, you can bake cupcakes later." Al hurried.
"Pinky promise?" Oliver asked holding out his little finger.
"How about an elephant promise?" The American asked, a smirk on his face, but the only response he got was Matt hitting him over the head.
"Stop being an idiot. Yes Oliver pinky promise, now can we please just go?"
"Of course!" Oliver said happily, slightly skipping out of the room, Al and Matt following behind him.

"Well that was..." Harry trailed off.
"Did they remind you of Alfred and Matthew?" Hermione asked much to Ron's surprise.
"Really? That manic could have killed Professor Kirkland and you're worrying about the fact that they look like two people we have only met once?!"
"Calm down Mr Weasley, I'm perfectly fine." A familiar voice said from the doorway.
"Professor Kirkland." The classroom gasped.
"Are you okay Professor?" Hermione asked.
"Yes, I'm fine Oliver only scratched me. I presume you're all okay as well. Oliver doesn't hurt children, even when he is in one of his moods."
"Your brothers crazy." Ron pointed out.
"You better not tell him that, he prefers the term misunderstood." Professor Kirkland muttered.
"Now then, you might as well all leave. I just have to find Professor Snape and that's it."
"Hopefully he's still alive."

So I hope you enjoyed, this is the last idea I have for a chapter because I've done all the suggestions in the reviews (I think). So unless you leave any more suggestions in reviews I will only be updating when I think of ideas myself. Which I'm warning you will not be a lot. So more ideas mean more chapters.