Inspection
New chapter, yay! This is Umbridge's inspection of our favourite Hogwarts teachers, I've changed her name to Madam instead of Professor since Norway and Romania kind of stole her job. Thanks to Romania and ZanyAnimeGirl for suggesting the creature that will appear in Iggy's class later on. And I really haven't said this enough but thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed, I'm almost at 100 reviews and I really want to get there so please make that possible. With that I hope you enjoy.
All the Hogwarts professors were in the staff room, listening to Madam Umbridge drone on and on during this weeks staff meeting. None of the teachers were very much enjoying this, but to the nations it was even worse. Romania in particular was annoyed out of his mind, even Hungary hitting him with her frying pan would have been better than this.
"Blah blah blah inspection, blah blah blah blah blah Ministry, blah blah blah standards, blah blah fired. Does everyone understand?" The pink coated woman finished. "Professor Kirkland?"
Norway gave the island nation an elbow to the stomachs to wake him up, causing England to jerk his head away from the Norwegian's shoulder and almost fall off the settee the three countries were sitting on.
"What?"
"Did you hear me?" Umbridge asked in her usual sickly voice.
"...Yes."
Umbridge tutted under her breath in response. "You will probably be one of the first people I will inspect Professor Kirkland, you along with your foreign friends."
"Did she just call us foreigners?" Romania whispered to Norway. "Is that supposed to be insulting?"
Norway shrugged, a slight frown on his normally emotionless face, this only increased when the toad like woman ('Not frog' England had said earlier. 'That's Francis') shushed them. None of the nations liked this woman, but there was something about her that made them- especially England, uneasy.
"Is that all Dolores? I believe classes will be starting soon." Professor Dumbledore spoke up for the first time since Umbridge had taken over the meeting.
"Of course Headmaster." Though by the looks of her face she had no where near finished her speech. "Professor Kirkland, I will be inspecting your lesson first."
"Yay." The Englishman muttered sarcastically under his breath while leaving the staffroom.
Romania patted England on the back sympathetically. "I really feel for you."
"You know we're getting inspected afterwards." Norway spoke up.
"Come on!"
The Golden Trio walked down to Hagrid's Hut for their Care of Magical Creatures lesson. Though Professor Kirkland may not be the sanest of their teachers they did enjoy his lessons, so the three Gryffindors were disappointed when they saw Madam Umbridge tiptoeing her way towards the blonde Professor trying (and failing) to avoid getting mud on her pink heels.
"Was it completely necessary to have this lesson outside the Forbidden Forrest?" Umbridge asked, getting the attention of Professor Kirkland who seemed to be talking to thin air.
"Hmm? Of course, but we're not having the lesson here. Okay class." Professor Kirkland turned to the students. "We're going to be venturing inside the forrest for this lesson. Now, there is nothing in the forrest that can hurt you as long as you don't wander off or do anything stupid."
Of course Draco Malfoy spoke up. "What about Werewolves?"
The sigh that Malfoy got in response clearly wasn't what he expected. "Mr Malfoy when do people turn into werewolves?"
"During the full moon." He replied, a slight confusion in his voice.
Professor Kirkland pointed to the blazing sun in the middle of the sky. "Now then, unless anyone else has another foolish question. Follow me."
Harry and the rest of the class followed Professor Kirkland through the forrest, trying to ignore Malfoy's 'My father will hear about this' and Umbridge's tutting. It must have been about five minutes later when Professor Kirkland stopped them before a wall of reeves.
"Now before we enter I have some rules. Though these creatures are not dangerous they can be annoying. The only thing you have to worry about is if you eat one, though they are living creatures they are technically edible but if you do so they will, how do I say this... take over your body and possess you."
The professor pulled back the reeves to reveal some kind of hollow and inside it were white blob... things.
"Professor?" Hermione asked. "What are they?"
"These, Miss Granger, are mochis." Professor Kirkand picked up the 'mochi' with a small hat on its head and massive eyebrows which remind Harry of the professors own. "They are living things made of pastry, I'm not 100% sure how they came to be but I'm told they are very similar to Pygmy Puffs. Each mochi has a different personality and as you can see a different look." The Professor held up the mochi in his hands for all the class to see. "This fella is quite snobby and spoiled, he can also be annoyed easily and prefers to be on his own." Professor Kirkland held up another mochi with glasses and a ahoge. "This one however is a bit crazy and hyperactive, he also has a love for food which means that he can get quite obese if left alone for too long."
"Any questions?"
Though the question was very obviously pointed towards the students Madam Umbridge raised her hand instead.
"Yes Dolores?" Professor Kirkland asked, annoyance evident in his voice.
"This lesson plan isn't Ministry approved, it also looks extremely dangerous."
"I have taken all the necessary precautions. These mochi can also be pets, the odds of a mochi hurting you is like your dog biting you." The professor replied.
Clearly Umbridge wasn't pleased with the Care of Magical Creatures Professor's answer but like normal she just tutted and wrote something down in her notebook.
"I believe that is all we have time for today." Professor Kirkland finished. "For homework I want you to read up about everything we have learned this term, be prepared for a pop quiz next lesson."
The Golden Trio turned around, prepared to make the journey to DADA, their next lesson. Until they realised something.
"Professor?" Hermione asked the man- who, by the looks of it was having a very deep conversation with thin air. "We're still in the Forbidden Forrest."
"Oh, right. Follow me."
"Do you think Professor Kirkland is going pass Umbridge's inspection?" Harry asked his two friends as they sat down in DADA.
"Hopefully." Hermione sighed. "But its not like Umbridge is the most unbiased of people."
"Talking about the bi-" Ron trailed off when he saw Hermione's face. "Here she is."
Turning to the back of the class Harry saw the hated Ministry official walk into the classroom, shortly followed by Professor Bondevik and Professor Popescu.
"Okay class." Professor Popescu began. "Today for a very special class we will be teaching you the Patronus Charm."
"Of course it would be too dangerous to bring a dementor in here. Plus I'm not overly fond of them myself." Professor Bondevik continued. "So we're just teaching you how to perform the spell."
"Hem hem."
Professor Popescu looked over in surprise. "Something in your throat Dolores?"
"I'm fine thank you... Vladamer. But don't you think the Patronus Charm is a bit uncalled for. After all it is against the Ministry guidelines."
"I don't see what harm it can be to teach the children how protect themselves." The Norwegian teacher said, a frosty tone in his voice. "When I taught at Drumstag, all the sixth years were taught the Charm. Now can anyone tell me what you need to successfully perform a Patronus Charm?"
Harry managed to raise his hand before Hermione did (certainly a first), he should be able to do great in this lesson.
"A happy thought." He answered when Professor Bondevik picked him.
"Any happy little thought?" Professor Popescu and a few Muggleborns, including Hermione asked, laughing when they understood the reference.
Professor Bondevik shook his head at his college, though he did look more amused then annoyed. "Before performing an example I first have to ask if anyone else can perform the Patronus Charm."
Harry raised his hand, causing some of the Gryffindors (and Proffessor Popescu) to gasp and causing most of the Slytherins to scoff.
"Would you like to perform an example with us Mr Potter?"
Harry stood at the front of the class with the two Professors and on the count of three he shouted 'Expecto Patronum'.
Like always Prongs burst out of Harry's wand, Professor Bondevik produced what looked like an elk as his Patronus and Professor Popescu's Patronus looked similar to a lynx.
"Well done Mr Potter." The Romanian professor congratulated him. "Now it's your turn." He finished, turning towards the class.
"Once you have your happy thought all you need to do is say 'Expecto Patronum'." Professor Bondevik instructed.
Both of the professors then went to talk to Madam Umbridge and since Harry Didn't have anything better to do he decided to listen to their conversation.
"So where are you both from?"
Professor Bondevik sighed in annoyance, but Umbridge either didn't notice or decided to ignore him. "I'm from Norway, Vladimir is from Romania."
"And you are both living in this country legally, correct?" Umbridge asked them both.
"Yeah, we both got green cards when we married Arthur." Proffesor Popescu answered proudly. Until Professor Bondevik elbowed him in the stomach, knocking the smirk off the Romanian's face.
Umbridge however, did not look impressed by Professor Popescu's joke. "Right. Well I think that will be all."
"Are they doing okay in the interview?" Hermione asked as she and Ron walked up to their friend.
"Not really." Harry replied, looking over to Professor Popescu who was now belting out the Romanian anthem to 'prove his country of origin'.
"You wanna say goodbye now or later?" Ron butted in.
"Why!?" Hermione exclaimed. "Do you really think Umbridge is going to fire them?"
Professor Popescu had now finished his performance of his national anthem and he was now singing what Harry recognised as the 'Numa Numa' song.
"Yep."