Then seek not, sweet, the "If" and "Why"
I love you now until I die.
For I must love because I live
And life in me is what you give.

Christopher Brennan

Comfort before the Storm

December 8th

Arcturus Station, Arcturus Stream

01:05

The first thing he felt, the first thought, was that he was hungry. Liquid food could only do so much, and Nicolai was starting to grow annoyed. He had been conscious for what felt like years, but knew that it had at most been a day. He had yet to be able to open his eyes, and moving a finger was a sluggish action.

Arcturus station, docks.

11:08

She had received word in the middle of the night that the Second Fleet had been sent fleeing, in an attempt to rescue the Turian patrol. Oskar Feldberg had given his life in a desperate attempt to cripple the massive dreadnought opposing them, though the survivors picked up later on, had told of the hulking structure simply shrugging off the explosion. Now, the remaining fleet was either still bound for Rannoch, or limping its way back to Arcturus.

Anna sighed, leaning against the framed window, the large piece of reinforced glass enabling view of the outer void. She liked coming here, near the docks. Sure, she was here now because she waited for the Normandy to arrive and dock, but that didn't exclude simply finding some tranquility in gazing across space.

There was a certain… peace, to the endless void, Anna had found. She knew the void held wars and threats now, especially with an unknown amount of Reapers preparing to shove their tentacles up the ass of the galaxy. Seeing how Anna very much liked her ass intact, she preferred to instead jam her old response to all threats, an illegal fission bomb, up the Reaper's asses instead. See if the squids could take that.

Still, the void held peace. It wasn't owned by anyone per se, just as the moon wasn't owned by any one nation. True, it was Alliance space, but no one could plant a flag, or fight a war over a certain amount of square meters of space. The stars in particular were a good reminder of that, seeing how they were huge amounts of resources, heat and solar power, yet not a single nation or company could stake a claim to them.

"So… it's coming to this, isn't it?" She asked no one in particular.

"It would seem like it, yes." The old, gravelly voice from behind her almost startled her, but after a life in the military, it took a lot more to scare her than hearing her uncle behind her; "How are you, Anna?"

"Honestly?" She muttered, offering her uncle a short nod of recognition; "I'm tired, uncle… so, so damn tired of this shit."

Stephen looked at her with visible concern, which she wasn't surprised over. It was rare she let go of her hardass attitude and tried letting her emotions, her frustrations out without shouting. So much had happened over the course of the past few months, and things had just degraded from then. Thousands of humans had been killed, superior enemies were bound for the galaxy, the Council spat on their every sacrifice… everything just felt like dragging a boulder up a hill.

"I know." He said, sympathy in his voice as he stepped closer to her; "so am I, but… you can't give up now, sweetie."

Anna chuckled weakly at his words, looking at her uncle with tired eyes, red and baggy from lack of sleep;

"'Sweetie'… you haven't called me that since I was fifteen." She said, trying to smile. It had been years since Stephen had really been able to show more affection than he dared towards his granddaughter, and his state at Megan's wedding had been the most affectionate Anna had seen him since she herself had been present at Megan's birth, where Stephen, having lost his wife just a month earlier, had been weeping openly.

"I haven't, have I?" He said, the sighed; "I heard about Feldberg. Thát, coupled with the Council throwing sacrifices to the wind and your friend… Decarissa, possibly being dead…I can't imagine how you feel."

"I think you can, and that's the bitch of it." Anna breathed, her chest tightening with the pent-up emotions from years of working uphill, striving against prejudice and backtalk, politics and failures. Frustration, loss and stress was taking its toll on her. Day by day, chipping away at her foundation; "It's today, isn't it?"

Her uncle didn't respond, not at first. She knew that he knew what she meant, and this was one subject she had no desire to push him on. She knew how terrible it was to lose those close to you, but she had never experienced the pain like he had.

"Yes." He replied, his voice choking with emotion. Anna turned to look at her uncle, the strongest man she had ever known. He was, in his own ways, a far better admiral, leader and soldier than she was. That he was a better human being had never been in question, not by her. His jaw was set, and his eyes shimmering with the tears he held back. He always did, never allowing people to see behind the titanium surface he put up. If people knew the great Admiral Hackett was but a human being, he wouldn't be able to do what he did. Same with her, though she had nowhere near his baggage to pull.

Anna did what she did, a thing more rare than kissing a Batarian. She stepped forward, towards her uncle. She stopped, hesitating for a moment, then wrapped her arms around her uncle and pulled him into a hug.

SSV Normandy, Arcturus Station

Docking tube, Bridge.

13:42 (station time)

"I can walk on my own, you know." Ashley said.

"Mmmm… sure you can." Thomas said, one arm under hers to provide support. They hadn't had a huge argument like he had somehow feared after revealing the secret to Hillary, but rather, Ashley had been a little annoyed the better part of the next day, having missed out on her sleep. She still went out of her way, trying not to use her new leg too much, but it was still better than Jane, who did her best not to walk on her new one at all. She had gone as far as stealing Joker's crutches, leaving the cripple to limp after her, cursing and swearing. Each time he had to go down a set of stairs, the ship had resounded with 'Shit! Shit! Shit!' and more profanities. Thomas looked at her, smiling a little; "How's Hillary doing?"

"She… is coping, I think. She'll get used to it, at some point, but…" Ashley tried. Thomas sighed, his smile gone;

"I get it, don't expect her to talk to me." He resigned himself to the fact that not everyone could handle science breaking as well as Ashley had. He was just grateful that she had, or he wouldn't be where he was today.

"No, no I don't think that's it. It's… she just needs some time Give her some space, maybe keep Roku a bit away from her, but that's all we can really do." Ashley said, accepting his support in spite of own words. They both needed some comfort, and found it in each other. With the galaxy turning sour, they needed something to forget the troubles plaguing them all.

As they excited the docking-tube, they were treated to a most special sight. Two of the most decorated admirals in the Systems Alliance were waiting on the docks, one with a hand on her uncle's shoulder. It was retracted the moment Anna spotted them, but Thomas still saw it for what it was: Affection.

Ashley noticed them as well, and shit Thomas a wondering look, her eyes bearing the same question he had in mind. Why were those two waiting for them?

Thomas sighed, giving her hand a small squeeze before letting go, stopping at the bottom of the tube, a ramp that went from the docking arms to the ship.

"Admirals." They both said, snapping to a salute that was copied by the rest of the disembarking Normandy-crew. It wasn't often you got to see those two admirals together while on duty, so a salute was damnably well suited for the occasion.

"Chief, Corporal." Anna saluted as well, a small smile gracing her wrinkled lips. Thomas found her eyes and was shocked to see the amount of wrinkles, bags and how red her eyes were. Like she had been crying, or the situation and state of the galaxy had finally gotten to her. With all her bravado and swearing, Thomas often found it difficult to remember that she was a feeling person beneath the armor and reputation as a human war machine, that she had built around herself.

Still, Hackett was every bit the legend he was made out to be. He showed strain as well, but his mere presence was awe-inspiring, and despite everything, Thomas found he was nervous around the man, as if desperate to gain his respect. The old grizzled admiral nodded to the both of them, then to the rest of the crew as they came down the ramp. Both the old officers turned to look at Thomas, Jane and John.

"Would the three of you follow us please?" Anna said, gesturing at them, then the exit from the docks. Thomas nodded, then turned to Ashley.

"I'll find you later, okay?" He said, giving her hand a tender squeeze. She returned it, then brushed her lips on his. A tender gesture, and just enough to make his skin tingle.

"Alright. Try not to get lost, okay?" She said, then walked with the rest of the crew towards the elevators leading to the main hubs. Thomas looked after her until the elevator closed, then returned his attention to the admirals. In hindsight, ignoring admirals over your girlfriend would normally be a stupid idea. Still, it seemed to make Anna smile. Not the cheeky smirks she always seemed to give, but rather a warm smile.

The group, made up of John, Jane, Thomas and the admirals, made their way for what turned out to be Anna's office. The first thing Thomas noticed, was that the brown smear on her window was gone. He still didn't know what it had been from.

The doors locked behind them, and the group turned to the admirals. Anna was the first to speak, digging out a small case, leather making up its exterior. It was a box, the symbol of the Alliance stamped on its front. The red-haired woman placed it on the table, then turned her attention to the group, looking past Thomas;

"John'Shepard of the Systems Alliance, step forward." John obeyed, though he looked just as surprised as Thomas felt. Though, when Thomas noticed Anna tapping an idle finger on the lid of the box, he started putting two and two together. He didn't have a chance to say anything though, as Anna opened the box, taking out two things. One, was a pair of golden angles, evidently marks of rank for an officer.

"John'Shepard, on behalf of the Systems Alliance, I hereby reinstate you as lieutenant-commander of the SSV Normandy… and if you step down again I'll personally glue this to your skin." Anna said, having to mandatorily wreck ceremony somehow. John stood stock-still, obviously astounded at the gesture as Anna fastened the 'stripes' to his suit.

Well, that was a short step-down he enjoyed…Thomas mused, smiling at the irony that John had himself used the very terms that Anna had to reinstate him before he would be their commander again. And now she had done exactly that.

"I… I am honored, Admiral Fisher. But… why?" John asked. Anna frowned, though her words were nowhere near as annoyed as they usually were when she was questioned;

"Because you're a damn good officer, and stepping down would be to throw that away." John nodded, then stepped backwards again. Then, Anna turned her eyes at Jane. The red-head looked just as surprised as John had been when Anna suddenly called her forth;

"Captain Jane Shepard of the Systems Alliance. Step forward." And she did. Jane seemed to breathe in, taking on or releasing a burden on her shoulders. Thomas wisely kept silent, instead simply observing. At least he wasn't the one going to be laden with a promotion or a medal.

"Captain Jane Shepard. For outstanding bravery and valor in the face of overwhelming opposition on Virmire, as well as managing to get your men and woman back out alive, the Parliament has decided to bestow on you the Medal of Valor." As Anna stitched the medal on Jane's chest, the biotic looked even more in a stupor than John had been. Like she had no way of knowing how to respond to this.

"But… I lost twenty marines to Saren in just a few seconds. I don't…" She started. Anna held up a hand, stalling her words;

"You charged a monster who displayed unnatural powers, knowing full-well it could cost you your life. You placed yourself in danger to protect the people beneath you. Your actions possibly saved the lives everyone who got to return home." Anna said with mirth, then added; "So accept the bloody medal because you actually earned it already."

As Jane nodded, having caught the same meaning in Anna's words as Thomas had, Anna suddenly turned her attention to her brother, causing said corporal to shiver. He never liked being in the center of attention, and now Anna had something nasty prepared for him. He just knew it. The first time he had met her, she had nailed a medal and a promotion on his chest, and everyone had looked at it afterwards.

"Corporal Thomas Fisher of the Systems Alliance. Step forward." Hackett was the one to speak this time, presenting a small box, akin to the one held by Anna. The fact that it was Hackett himself presenting something to Thomas, made it all the harder not to fall back into his old habit of dropping unconscious when awesome or famous people noticed him. Still, he kept what some would describe as 'his cool' and walked towards Hackett, stopping a few feet before the grizzled legend.

Hackett opened the case, revealing something that nearly sent Thomas fleeing the room.

It was a pair of new stitches, rank-marks, he believed they were called. They were golden, like what Jane was wearing and John had received. There were just two of them, neat little bars that were different from the angles John had received. Thank the gods really, as Thomas had no intentions of moving upwards in rank anytime soon… well, anymore than whatever he was being presented with by… right, by Stephen Hackett himself.

Thát, brought him back to reality. Admiral Stephen Hackett was presenting him with a promotion, something he hadn't even dreamed off, and he had dreamed of quite a lot over the years.

"Corporal Thomas Fisher, on grounds of bravery, shown skill in battle and courage in the face of danger, as well as exemplary conductance of duty, I hereby promote you to the rank of Service Chief." Hackett said, pinning the new insignias on Thomas's shoulder. The now Service Chief felt a bit like he was swimming around in some sort of dreamy fluid. He couldn't feel his legs. Oh for the love of Talos! Don't let me faint!

Talos seemed to hear him, as he started regaining the feeling in his legs after a few moments. It had just been the shock and surprise at being promoted to something that seemed to share traits with Ashley's rank and duties, that made him dizzy. Hackett said something, but the Service Chief couldn't really hear anything at the moment. Sound was still a strange thing that had yet to fall in line with his toes. Everything he heard for a few moments forward was a ringing in his ears, that slowly subsided, allowing him to hear Hackett's last words to him;

"…wear it well." Thomas snapped to a salute, though the lingering dizziness rendered it slightly unprofessional in appearance.

"Yes sir, thank you sir." Hackett nodded, stepping back next to Anna. The old woman gave her uncle a nod, perhaps in appreciation, then looked at the trio collected in front of them.

"Now, that the ceremony is done with. As you might have expected, the Council passing on the charge of bringing down Saren Arterius… changed some things." Surprisingly, Anna didn't utter a single swear-word.

"An understatement, if ever there was one." Hackett said, then took over; "Seeing as the Normandy is no longer hunting down Saren, you will be moved to the Arcturus fleet's special division. Shepards, your new charges will be reconnaissance. Though not for defensive purposes. We're starting a hunt of our own, and the Normandy needs to be at the tip of the spear, tracking Saren down." He said, pinning down the statement with a fist in his open palm.

"But… Sir, you just said we weren't after Saren anymore. Don't get me wrong, I want to see him tied to a stake and burned, but… won't this cause some sort of conflict with the Council if we butt into their own campaigns?" John asked, causing Thomas to cringe, even though he agreed with the question. It was just a bad idea to question a man like Hackett. He'd probably… do something.

"We're not doing this for the Council anymore. Let the Turians hunt the Rogue Spectre, we're hunting a genocidal maniac." Hackett said. Thomas released a small puff of relief at that; "After today, you'll report directly to-"

"Me. So get used to having me for a boss." Anna finished for him, her expression taking on a small smile. It didn't remove the red blood-shot eyes or the bags under them, but it helped her visage; "You'll go to interesting places, meet interesting aliens, get to kill them if they give you shit."

"That sounds… fun" Thomas found himself saying, then promptly shut it when Anna leveled a flat look at him. Then she chuckled and shook her head;

"Yeah… just be careful out there. Also, enjoy shore leave." She said, snapping to a salute. The trio, each now carrying their own little memento of the meeting, snapped to a salute in return. Hackett nodded at them;

"Dismissed."

As the group started filing out, Anna grabbed his Thomas's shoulder and hauled him backwards again. Before he could really react, she had him wrapped in a hug. It wasn't even the sort of jovial hug one might expect from her. It was an honest-to-the-gods, warm hug. Thomas had no idea how to respond to it at first. He stood stock-still as he could feel the hard arms around him, gently embracing him. It was surreal, to be honest. He had no idea what made her do it, but… it was nice. It was different from hugging Ashley, definitely. This was something he had missed for months, something he, by all logic, should never have received or returned ever again.

A hug from his sister, from family.

So he hugged her back.

December 7th

Daratar, Faryar system.

BSV Scorpio.

Deck 1. Bridge, CIC, messhall, Medbay, crew quarters and gunnery control.

15:21

"It's the same shit on again… what, we only have the CNN?" Aresh said, speaking about the screen hanging above the table in the messhall, a scrippled sign hanging beneath it with the words 'Please don't shoot the TV' on it.

"Dunno… Emily Wong always gets my attention." One of the other crewmembers said. Magnus himself shook his head, focusing on cleaning his rifle while listening to the news.

"Since the surprising turn of events that took place at the Council meeting, Humanity has dropped several major trading deals with the Salarian Union, and diplomatic arrangements have been postponed with the Asari Republics. This is seen as a protest against humanity being taken from the Campaign against Saren Arterius."

"Yeah well, not like we did a lot of good at it anyway… what, we lost how many?"

"Fuck how many we lost, the point is the Council just flipped humanity off." Magnus answered, having no idea who he was talking to, but not really caring anyway. There was a lot on his mind right now, and Saren and the Normandy only took up a small amount of space in his attention. So far, there had been no repercussions after the disappearance of the Cerberus trooper 'Ymir'. Good the same, as Jacob wouldn't be able to recognize her anyway if they ever found her.

She had screamed, oh yes she had, that racist bitch. Magnus had mostly savored the time he spent making her regret her actions. Sure, there seemed to be honest people in Cerberus, he didn't mind those. What he did mind, was when people were blatantly racist and hurt those he cared about.

Torture… now there was a funny word. It was used when people hurt other people to get information, but what if it was to simply get back at someone? He didn't figure that meant torture as much as it was a sensible punishment. Still, he was almost impressed that she had refused to apologize by the time he had broken eight of her fingers. At the ninth, she had apologized, yes, but he had felt it wasn't really meant, that she just said whatever he wanted her to say.

So, in the end he had broken her wrists. At that point she had simply stopped screaming and started crying instead. Some might consider Magnus an evil man for not being affected by her crying, but he wasn't evil, he was just a simple person. When someone hurt people without reason, people he cared about even, he set about to rectify that, and wasn't often stopped by anything. So, he had simply tuned out her weeping, focusing on making her apologize. After some time, he had lost patience with her. She wasn't going to apologize, and there was only so much time he had. So, a simple, and rather merciful shot to the head had ended her suffering, and a ball of superheated plasma launched from his Omnitool had burned the body to a crisp. Then it had just been a matter of sweeping up the ashes and using the nearby trashcan.

No one suspected a thing.

"Rumors have it that Admiral Fisher has extensive plans concerning the Citadel Council, however no comments were available from the Alliance Admiral."

"Figures. I think, if it was up to Fisher, Humanity would be at war with the Council at some point." Tuara said, sipping from a mug of dextro-amino coffee. Magnus snapped towards her, looking at the Turian woman with intent.

"You have something against her?" He asked with a very quiet and polite voice. Tuara flickered her mandibles a few times before answering him;

"Not personally, no. But she's a liability, in the political sense. If she had her way, I think half the galaxy would be embroiled in a bitter war right now. Just saying." Magnus didn't answer at first, simply glaring at the Turian.

"Who knows, maybe the Council deserves a kick in the ass. I mean, they are pretty damn self-concerned and piss on thousands of dead who were killed protecting their sorry asses. I think Fisher is being remarkably restraining." He said, putting the right amounts of venom into the right words.

"She's still crazy. She cut people's balls off and keeps them in pickle-jars."

"She's doing a hell more than the Hierarchy is against pirates and slavers."

"She's breaking the laws of prisoners. Conventions state just how illegal her actions are."

"She's the reason some of your colonies haven't been burned to a crisp by the Reapers!" Magnus sneered. She's the medic, she's the medic, she's the medic. He had to remember she was the medic. They needed her, so he couldn't beat her up.

"How about we leave the politics of our species out of this? We're paramilitary, not affiliated with any one group." Sidonis said, ending their argument by planting himself in the seat between them.

"Fine… but Humanity did a fuck-ton more for the Council than they ever did for us." Magnus growled, feeling as if the two Turians were siding against him.

"And nobody is denying that, Magnus. However, we are not Alliance or Hierarchy here. So do I have to put the two of you in each your corners, or are we going to be adult about this?" Lantar said, glaring with berating intent at the both of them. Instead of saying anything straight away, Magnus grabbed his rifle and rag and stood from the table.

"I'll be fuckin… adult about this… be in the hangar… show you adult…" He grumbled, marching away. He hated the fact that Sidonis was right, but he knew he was going to start insulting Tuara if he remained there. So, in a rare show of thinking before shooting, he left the messhall and went to the Hangar.

Tremaine was there, working on his rifle at the benches to the side. Magnus gave him a nod, but otherwise paid him no attention. Finding a crate, he slumped down on it and took out the rag and started cleaning the barrel of his rifle once more. Soft footsteps came from behind him, Magnus chose to wait and see if he had to bother turning around.

"Are you okay?" Magnus was about to snap at Tremaine, the processed that it was a woman, a woman speaking through filters who had asked. Instead of turning around, Magnus nodded at the crate next to him. Tara took the hint and sat down next to him, her hands in her lap.

They were silent like that for a while, him cleaning his gun and her looking at him. Odd, how the Captain of a vessel waited for the trooper to tell her something to do, or give her permission to speak. Magnus was once more reminded of Lantar's words on Zorya. Right, she liked him. Odd how easy that was to forget.

"Magnus?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you okay?" She asked. Her voice, like it always was when it was just the two of them, was silent and hesitant. Gentle.

"Sure… why?" He asked, not taking his eyes from the weapon in his hands. He knew bad thing could happen if he started really looking at her.

"I heard your argument in the messhall." She stated, and let that be it, leaving him to be the next to speak. Probably because she knew he would.

"Yeah… Tuara can be a bitch sometimes." He said, then sighed; "But Lantar is right… politics shouldn't matter here." He refrained from saying that Tuara still had a stick up her ass about laws and regulations.

"She doesn't mean it. Turians are just… different." Tara said, placing a hand on his shoulder. Magnus stiffened a little, but kept his eyes on his weapon. Clean weapon. Clean weapon. That was the only thing he was going to pay attention to. Not the fact that her tender, gentle hand was resting on his shoulder, giving him a soft squeeze; "More focused on duty, I guess."

"I know… served with one, remember? Although, Garrus was sort of an exception to the rule." He said, then stopped himself. He knew that if he started reminiscing about the Normandy, he would start thinking about Jane. He had managed to go three days now without imagining her face, her visage and person. The last time he had dreamt about her, he had walked around with heart-ache most of the day, breathing issues and feeling anything but social.

"I know what you did down there, on Daratar." Tara said after a while, causing Magnus to finally snap towards her, eyes wide at the implications of her words. She could mean any amount of things by that, but she could also mean she knew what he had done.

He remained silent, eyes scanning her helmet, trying to gauge some sort of hint from those luminescent bulbs of hers. He could almost see her face through the glass, though the opaque visor made it difficult to tell any traits. He could clearly see a sharp nose, but beyond that, only her eyes.

"I know why you did it too…" She started again, seeing as he wasn't going to say anything; "And… I don't know how to feel about it."

"About what?" He said, feigning confusion. Even through the visor, he could see her expression hardening a little.

"Magnus, don't try lying to me." She berated him, a rare thing. Actually, he was fairly certain she had never done that before Daratar. And for some reason, it hurt when she did.

"I…" He started, honestly not knowing what to say; "I'm sorry." He said, voice strained. He out away the weapon, the piece of metal and plastic suddenly feeling inappropriate and crude. Leaning forward, he gathered his hands in a clutch, leaning on his knees. The feeling, and sight, of her relatively small hand placing itself on his, was enough to send his heart rate up.

"Why?" She asked, her voice full of sympathy and no accusation at all. He took a long breath, focusing on her three fingers, the pattern of the fabric covering the back of her hand, the way the thumb rested on the back of his.

"Because… because… I don't know, I just am. I suppose it's because… I didn't think things through before I… started." He said, expecting the hand to retract. Instead, the three fingers locked around the back of his.

"Was it because of what she was, or because of me?" She asked. He cursed at her inwardly. It was hard not to answer a question like that, and no matter what he answered, things could go a way he didn't feel ready to even look.

"I… because…you…" He managed to say, pressing his eyes shut. He wished he was wearing his helmet, so at least he could shut out the world. The room was quiet then, Tremaine having obviously left at some point. He could hear his own breathing, and that was it. If Tara's hand was holding the two of his, he would suspect she had left as well. Freya be cursed, why was it this was happening? Why did life have to be so… so uncomfortable? So illogical? So… inconvenient? What would have been wrong with spending the rest of his life grieving over Jane, over a life he was bereft of?

"Me?" She finally asked, her voice so small and yet hopeful that it sent his heart racing. Gods fuck him, was he actually starting to fall in love with her? No, no he wasn't and there was no way he was going to. Still, why else would he have been the only one to react so much when she was threatened?

"I think so… when I saw you being hurt, I just… went off. Heh… actually you should thank Tatra we're all alive. I'd have started shooting if she hadn't stopped me. Had to stop her though, when they dragged Hayfield up front, so I guess that makes it even."

"Magnus…"

"I just don't like it when people hurt the people I care about. I tend to… to forget what I'm supposed to do, to think." He muttered, still looking at her petite hand. It was strange, how much a simple thing like that made him feel, how conflicted it made him feel. It was uncomfortable, yet pleasant at the same time.

Tara drew in a breath, audible even through her helmet. It warned of something important on its way, so Magnus braced himself for more questions. He didn't actually mind though, because her hand was nice and calming and… he didn't really want to think that through, but it didn't change the fact that he enjoyed her touch.

"Do you… care about me?" She finally asked. Magnus could feel his insides crawl in embarrassment. He mostly wanted a hull breach right now, seeing as they were in orbit above Daratar. After Ymir's disappearance, Lieutenant Taylor had "requested" that they leave for the time being, so as not to interfere with the search. It was starting to make sense why Tara hadn't volunteered the Suns to help.

"I… think so. I mean, you've been there for me since I… not since I woke up on Illium, but you've been the first one to really care about me, so… yeah, I suppose I do... Why?" He muttered sheepishly. He really hated being put on the spot like this, and he could never figure out the right words when this stuff came up. Disembowel a Krogan? Sure, he could do that. Talk about feelings… that was a whole other level.

"Because…" She started, looking away for a moment, then down on their hands. He followed her eyes, and noticed that their fingers had intertwined somehow, at some point where he hadn't even paid attention to it; "Because… I… care about you, Magnus."

Magnus gulped, hoping it was silent enough that Tara hadn't heard it. He looked at his five finger, snaking and locking between Tara's three, thicker ones. For a moment, none of them said anything, too nervous to break the silence and hold they had on the other. Magnus, for reasons he dared not think about, started stroking the back of her hand with a thumb. He could hear Tara's breath hitch.

Oh, that was probably a bad sign. He had probably done something that upset her.

"Do you want to stop here?" He asked, nervous he had somehow upset her from how her chest was expanding and normalizing at a faster pace, her breathing going faster.

"Do you want to stop?" She asked breathlessly. His eyes widened at her question. It was obvious she was worked up, but not in a negative way at all. Oh boy, what had he gotten himself into now? Still, he continued massaging her hand.

"Not really… do you want me to?" He asked. He knew things could easily go both ways now, and he wasn't sure any more which way he wanted them to go. Once, when he had started getting to know her, and noticed her odd looks on Illium, he wanted nothing remotely romantic in his life. Thát part was supposed to have been over. So why was he feeling like thís now?

"No" She said, but placed her other hand over his all the same. He looked up at her in surprise, then back to her hands, then back up at her. Tara's glowing eyes were locked on their hands, the slowly made their way up to his. As they met, and her gaze drilled into his, Magnus felt as if his soul was crawling, electrocuted. By the Aesir, why was he feeling like this now? He didn't want, logically, to fall in love again…

And yet, bugger all, he apparently had.

"I… don't know what…" He tried, but words started to fail him. His throat was clenching up, leaving his voice raspy and dry. Tara's hands clenched tighter on his, like she was afraid he would get up and leave; "To do… here, now…"

Tara giggled lightly in response, something that caused his heart to flutter. It had been so long since he had felt that way, to react like this when a woman giggle or was around him. The woman in front of him looked down, shyly;

"Me… neither actually. I've never… I don't… not the most… I…" She stuttered, then stared cursing in Kheelish, using words Magnus couldn't understand, yet understood the meaning of all the same. She was cursing at herself, for some reason. He couldn't help but find it incredibly adorable.

"You alright?" He managed to ask while his anxiousness allowed for it. He could feel sweat rolling down his back, and was thankful Tara was wearing gloves as he knew his hands would be hot and damp as well. Gods, he hadn't felt like this since… since…

"You know, I've known a lot of girls, or well not a lot, but some… none of them could compare to you." Magnus said, smiling shyly at Jane, the redhead biotic sitting cross-legged on the other barstool, slurping a beer through a straw, doing her best not to blush, that much was clear. Jane had always had her own little oddities.

"Oh? And is that what you told all of them too?"

"Heh… no, I usually complemented them on their shoes or dress… I could complement your shooting-skills if you want?" He chuckled, taking a drink from his own glass.

"You could stand to mention it more." She laughed. The Volus owning Flux gave what Magnus assumed was an equivalent to a content shaking of his little round head, then headed off, leaving the two of them alone. Jane had enjoyed discount drinks on the bar since helping out the Volus with a former, now present employee.

"Okay, you are a crack-shot…" He said, then took a new drink; "Though you still suck with a sniper rifle." He grinned. Jane slapped his side, trying to present an annoyed expression. It didn't work though, and they had both ended up laughing. There was something about her that just made him feel so small, yet so powerful, like she was a divine presence In a way, she sort of was.

Without even really thinking about it, they had intertwined their hands, none of them looking until Magnus felt a slight tug. Looking at their hands, he met Jane's eyes, she having noticed at the same time as he. He could feel his heart speed up as their eyes locked, his breathing going ragged and troubled. She had that effect on him when these things started.

She had that effect…

He hadn't felt that way since then, not until now. Magnus pressed his eyes shut, trying to figure out what he could do, what he was supposed to do. Jane was dead, or at the very least in another reality. He would never see her again… so why did he feel thís conflicted about falling in love again? Falling in love with someone who, by all accounts, could do so much better than with him. Tara was in the start of her young life, at least five or six years younger than him, and he was a worn-out soldier, a failed N7-recruit and a person who had walked the road of loss.

Yet, Tara was here, now, with him. She sat there, looking intently at him, her hands and fingers intertwined with his. He could feel her, alive, breathing, feeling, right next to him. It felt so weird, knowing that the emotion, the surge of energy coursing through him, was love, or at least strong infatuation.

"Magnus?" Tara said, sounding insecure. Of fuck, he had completely tuned out, and she had said something, answered his question, and he hadn't listened at all. He had been so caught up in the past that he forgot the present. Opening his eyes, he looked up into hers, catching her pair of luminescent bulbs. All the time she had been in the hangar, he hadn't even realized she was in civilian clothing again, her armor likely dumped in her locker or quarters, if she even had such a thing as a personal quarters.

"Sorry, I… I just…" He said, looking away. He had done too much in his life, too much damage, to deserve a person like Tara loving him. He felt sure of that, and why not? He had killed, tortured and beaten people half to death, and had never felt remorse for it until now; "I was just…"

"It's okay… I mean, I didn't expect you'd be interested anyway, and… and you still love Jane… I'm… just going to go then." She muttered. Her voice was so full of anguish and pain that it broke Magnus's heart just to hear it. When she tried slipping her fingers from his, then he held on for dear life. The realization hit him like a shovel to the temple.

He didn't want her to leave. Never. He wanted her to stay.

"No please don't! Tara, please don't… don't go…" He begged, not letting go of her hands. The Quarian froze in mid-rise. There was a moment of silence, her silver eyes locked on him, waiting for him to continue; "Please, stay... I want you to stay here."

"Why?" She said, sounding just as pained as he was. He hated himself at that moment, knowing he was the reason for her pain. He swallowed, knowing that what he was about to say would most likely change his life forever.

"Because… I can't live without you." He admitted. He was really bad at saying the word 'love' so he went about it the best way he could.

"Do you… you mean that?" She asked in a voice that almost sounded more scared than hopeful. Magnus nodded. Tara froze for a moment more; "What about… Jane?"

Her question seemed like the final test. He felt his heart hurt at the name, though he kept calm, maintaining contact with the woman alive with him, no longer the dead one in his past.

"She's dead. Even if she isn't, I can't… I loved her, but…" He admitted, struggling to keep his voice from breaking; "I… I think I love you." He knew it was a crappy way of going about it, but emotional stuff had never been his suite.

Whatever he had wanted to say next was broken off when Tara pounced on him, ramming him onto the floor.

Arcturus Station, Arcturus stream.

Office of Admiral Anna Fisher

13:25

"So, can Roku give me a reason why I should still buy his 'no-share' bullshit?" Anna said, releasing her brother from their embrace. She could see from the corner of her eye that uncle was looking at her, and what she strived to have, with a tender smile.

"What?" Thomas said, sounding like he hadn't fully understood her question. Anna gave an annoyed huff before knocking on his head. If the guy lived in there, this should be the same as knocking on his front door. Her brother retreated from her, nudging his head; "Ow! Anna, what the hell?"

"Your mind-guy, mister green-fire-burns-geth dude. I want him to come clean, and start giving me the truth." She said, then looked at her brother's forehead, an awkward experience for the both of them; "Hello Polly! I've got some nice sugar for you! Pollyyyy!"

"Thandosí! Anna, he isn't there anymore!" Thomas groaned, holding his ears. Well to be fair, she had just shouted in his face. Also… wait, not there anymore?

"What do you mean?" Uncle asked, stepping up next to her. He was looking at Thomas with stern curiosity. There really was no other manner of curiosity with him.

"I mean… I don't know really. A lot of things nearly went bad on Virmire, and somehow… Roku got evicted and moved during the mission." The Service Chief said, awkwardly rubbing his neck. Despite it all, Anna found it funny that she had been around for both her brother's promotions now.

"Fuck me sideways…" Anna groaned, then picked up on one of his words; "Wait, moved where?"

"He's trapped in a geth body right now. Not sure how, but… it's what it is. He's all green, so should be easy enough to recognize." Her brother said with a shrug that was supposed to seem casual, but didn't fool her.

"Wait, that means we've lost your firebending-stuff?" Anna asked, suddenly nervous. Thomas was supposed to have that firepower, and then sent to Grissom Academy to train with the best biotics humanity had available. At least legally. Also, she wasn't sure just how well biotics could be applied to a walking campfire, but hey, there was a first to everything, right?

In response, her brother held out a palm and flickered on a green orb of glassy emerald fire in it. Undeniably cool, is what it was. Anna took in the sight with awe, while she could hear uncle stopped breathing. He'd pulled in a breath as soon as Anna had used the word 'firebending', although it really was the best way to describe it.

"I'll take that as a 'nope, still got it'. Good, that means at least some plans still stand. Have you given more thought to the whole 'Ascension project' thing?"

"I… don't know. I mean, what would I even do there? Roku said fire is subject to gravity, so with biotics I'll just be crap. Also, how long would I have to be there?"

"That would be up to you, son." Uncle said; "You won't be a prisoner, so leaving is entirely your own choice. As for what you'd do, I'm sure Kahlee Sanders can come up with something. She's been running the place for more than five years now, she knows a few things." Anna nodded her consent, knowing that he was right. She'd never met this 'Sanders', but reputation made her trustworthy in whatever regard was needed.

"Right… sir, can I wait with deciding until the whole mess with Saren is over? I don't know what'll happen right now, and I don't want to end up regretting something." What Anna knew Thomas meant, but wasn't saying, was that he knew and worried that going to Grissom would strain his relationship. Uncle nodded, good.

"Yes. I am not going to force this choice on you. You are a valuable resource, but still a human being and citizen of the Alliance." Stephen said. Anna nodded;

"And now, you are dismissed. If your geth is walking around the station, I'd better make sure people know not to shoot him." She said. Thomas saluted, always an odd thing to see, then turned and left the room.

"I swear, one day you'll have to tell me how you deal with this sort of super-natural… stuff." Uncle said, rubbing hos forehead. Anna gave the man a smile, a soft one, on occasion of the day. She wouldn't be cheeky, or anything else today.

"It comes with being me, I suppose." She said, leaning against her desk. Price popped up in his projection, noticed Hackett and saluted;

"Admirals. Admiral Hackett, I've arranged for annual fund-aid for Mindoir, on occasion of the day. You have my condolences, if such a thing means anything coming from an AI." Price said. Uncle looked surprised, to put it lightly. He had only met Price once before, a few weeks ago, and that had been a mostly quiet uncle after the initial outrage of finding an AI on the station.

"I… thank you, Captain. I appreciate the gesture, and your condolences as well." He said, then smiled a tiny bit through weary features; "Never thought I'd say that to an AI."

"There's a lot of prejudice, alright. It is to be expected, I suppose." Price said, then turned to look at the both of them; "Also, doctor Cole wanted me to let you know they've started deploying the paste over the parts of the hull that are in place. We'll do it step-by-step, instead of having to wait for the entire thing to be ready."

"Thanks Price. By the way, what weapons have been scrapped and what do we still have?"

As the AI launched into a detailed explanation, Anna thought she could see a rare smile creep up on her uncle's face. One that she mirrored with a smirk. It was good to hold that much firepower.

Arcturus station, Arcturus stream.

Hospital Ward.

15:21

"He's awake?!" Thomas exclaimed. The nurse nodded, allowing them inside the room. Greetings were called from the various beds of the others, though Thomas fixated his eyes on the one bed that held what mattered to him.

Nicolai turned his head, slowly as if asleep, and looked at Thomas as he walked towards the bed. It felt like a weird sort of déjà vu, being reunited with his friend the same way he had the first time, in a bed in a hospital. This time there even still was the semi-injured Tali in a clean-room next doors, completing the illusion. The breather that had been stuck on his face had been removed, allowing Thomas to see the weak grin spreading over the paled face. Fuck, had he looked liked that when he woke up in Huerta?

"Hey Amigo…" Nicolai said, his voice low and weary, but there.

"Hey Amigo." Thomas responded, planting himself in the chair next to the bed; "How're you feeling?"

"Hungry… and like shit. I've got something stuck in my pee-pee that hurts… and I'm being given water instead of food all the time."

"How come the hungry-part doesn't surprise me?" He chuckled. Nicolai threw up an annoyed expression;

"Hey, I'm not chubby anymore. Also I can still kick your ass." He said, then sighed before Thomas could reply; "What happened after I hit the ground?"

"We lost Fixer, for a start. He was killed when the Mako crashed." Thomas said with regret. He had liked Fixer, and the man had been a good presence on the ship. He had been cremated a few days ago, and his ashes were ready for a burial, to be placed in the earth on the same cemetery as Sev had been.

"Fuck… I liked that guy." Nicolai muttered. Thomas nodded, then continued.

"We were saved by the tenth fleet soon after. They battle it out with the Reapers to get to us though, and took a lot of casualties. Don't know how many, but thousands at least."

"Wait, wait… Reapers, as in plural?" Nicolai's face grew even paler. Thomas nodded again, then came to the worst part.

"Yeah… and they are twice the size of the original ones." He said, waiting for the outburst of panic to come. When none came, he was surprised, but continued; "Since then we've been on Virmire, and…" He hesitated.

"Of fuck… dude I'm so sorry." Nicolai exclaimed. Thomas realized what he had sounded like, and shook his head.

"No, no… we all lived. It's Saren though… he's pretty much the Avatar. Possessed, and throws fire and steel at soldiers. Now, we are taken off the chase. The Council gave the job to the Turians, so we're stuck here for the moment… also, the Quarians are now members of the Alliance, thought you should know."

"How long have I been out?" Nicolai asked in disbelief. Thomas counted on his fingers.

"About… three weeks, I think. Events picked up after Valhalla, so it might seem a bit crazy. Also, we have a geth platform walking around the Normandy now." Nicolai picked up on that;

"You found Legion?! Awesome!" Whatever weariness had been in him before had vanished like mist before the sun.

"Not really. Roku was shoved out of my head and into a geth body. He's all green, so he should be easy to recognize." The excitement vanished, replaced by sheer disbelief.

"You're shitting me." Was all he said.

"Nope… and I just realized this is the same conversation we had in Michelle's clinic. What, running out of scripted dialogue?" Thomas grinned.

"What about Jenny? Is she still onboard?" Nicolai asked with a more serious tone, not taking the bait.

"No. No, we delivered her back to Earth. Pissing shame you had to be asleep there, but that's what it was. I got her mail addressee though, so you can stop threatening me Tali." He said, directing the sharper words towards the door to the clean-room, where he knew Tali was listening in. The following 'Eeep!' and sound of a person jumping backwards was all the proof he needed that he was right.

"Good. I'll miss the little blighter… wait, Tali threatened you?"

"A little. Because I forgot to send her Jenny's mail." At that, Nicolai chuckled and looked at the clean-room.

"Good going Tali, scare the crap out of him, hah!" Thomas sent him a glare, but that was all he did; "Still though, I'll miss her. She was a ton of fun to be around."

Arcturus station, Arcturus stream.

Transit hub 5, Civilians sector, recreational activities.

18:12

Ashley looked mildly annoyed when he first spotted her, standing at the exit for one of the cross-station transports, small trains that went all over the 10-kilometer wide station. It was pretty much needed to make sure people could get around. Maglev-trains were still popular it seemed. Right, he had made her wait a little while longer than he wanted to. But the barber had taken an age getting done. Now cleanly shaven, and with his hair back in a standing, semi-short length, he felt somewhat presentable again. That, and he had taken a small detour through the recreational and artistic areas before ending up at his destination.

When she spotted him, dressed up in a brown leather jacket, blue navy pants and polished shoes, she seemed to change her mood completely. Her face brightened up considerably and a smile revealed itself on her face. He knew she knew where they were going, as they had planned for it since before returning to Arcturus. Ashley herself was dressed up in a fitting attire of her own. Not quite a dress, but still unsuited for anything but a night on the town. Blue booths that went a good while up, then white pants beneath until a blue, skirt-like piece of her jacket went down to mid-thigh. Above that, she was wearing a blue and dark-blue jacket that complemented her forms in a pleasant, yet formal way. The only sultry part he could think of was the cut on her front, showing the start of her more womanly shapes in soft skin. The funny thing was, she had once sworn to want dinner before wearing this sort of stuff. Granted, it wasn't tin-foil, but still. Finally, her hair was loosened from the usual bun, worn cascading down her neck and shoulders.

He had to admit, she looked sexy as hell.

"Hey Ash, damn you look…" He found he had trouble speaking the fitting words in a public area. So with a grin, he settled for "Really good."

"Looking good there, Service Chief Thomas Fisher. Lean and mean." She replied with a smirk. As he stopped by her, she leaned forward and touched his lips to her own in a quick kiss. A kid nearby stuck his tongue out, but was hauled off by his mother.

"You know, I have been looking about this station" He started as they parted lips; "And you'd be amazed what you can find around here."

"Oh?" She said, then fixed her eyes on his hand as he fished the small package from his jacket.

"Close your eyes… and no peeking or Garrus gets it." He chuckled, waiting for her to shut her eyes before opening the small package. Inside was a simple, yet beautiful necklace. It was made by a black string of synthetic leather, the soft yet durable kind, and carried an amulet of silvery, smooth stone, that seemed to reflect light with the same intensity as blood, hence the name of the mineral. Heliotrope was always warm and soft to the touch.

"Alright, but hurry it up already… I suck at this patient stuff." She huffed, but stopped as the string was tied behind her neck, and the smooth, silvery stone rested on her upper chest, just where the ribs started; "Wha… what is… Thomas?"

"Took me some time to find the right one." He admitted, looking at her sheepishly, secretly marveling at how the stone played with the light from above, dully reflecting it in a soft glint of light. Ashley lightly tugged at the piece of natural jewelry, a strong blush creeping up her face along with one of the biggest smiles Thomas had yet seen on her; "You like it?"

He was answered by a new kiss, this one longer and far more passionate than the first one. Having tugged the package back into his jacket, he wrapped both arms around her back and hip and pulled her closer towards him. Her hands went along his back, stroking him in ways that were passionate, yet… just simple signs of affection.

"Thank you" She said as they parted, a warm smile of love covering her expression. She leaned into him, resting her head on his neck as he continued hugging her, smelling the scent her hair bore, close as it was to his face. She had been out freshening up as well, the scent of sweet spices and roses in her black hair. He closed his eyes, letting a hand go through her hair, gently sliding through it.

"I'll take that as a yes then." He chuckled, and her own small laughter mixed in with his, allowing them to shut out the world; "Now come on, my lady, or we'll miss our reservation."

"I most certainly hope you are not planning on me getting drunk again." She said with a voice that was anything but dead-serious. Thomas shrugged, playing an innocent face while enjoying the look of happiness in her eyes. He wanted to see her like this, always.

"Nah, you'd suck at dancing if you were drunk. We're going to lay the town flat on its ass tonight. It's on me, so come on. About time I took you out on a proper date." He smiled, giving her a kiss on her forehead before offering his hand to hers. She took it, and they started down the "streets" of the station.

"You do realize it's a station, right?" Ashley mused humorously, pulling him a little closer. Both to give some space to oncoming traffic, but also simply so that they could remain a little closer as they walked.

"Station, town… it's got restaurants, so it's the same thing to me. Remember, when I grew up the only space station we had was the ISS. Not exactly equipped for dining couples." He chuckled.

"Smart-ass." She mused, leaning further towards him as they walked through the pleasantly illuminated walkways and corridors. If it wasn't for the lack of a lake and threes, one could be forgiven for mistaking the recreational areas of Arcturus with the Presidium on the Citadel.

"You didn't seem to mind my ass the last time." He whispered to her, causing a blush to creep up her cheeks. She tugged at the necklace for a moment before seemingly giving up on a smart reply and jabbed him in the side. Thomas winced, but not much else. It wasn't a hard jab, merely a toying gesture.

"Don't you get started about asses. I saw how you looked at me yesterday." She said, having finally come up with the right reply.

"What, you get to both jab, and backtalk me?" He said, his voice in a fake-berating tone.

"What are you going to do about it?" There was definitely something suggestive in her voice and way of asking. Thus, he already knew not to drink too much tonight.

Maybe life wasn't so bad after all.

Fine, you win Taramancers. I give in to those two... not entirely unhappy about it though ;)

As you might suspect, this story is drawing to a close. I want to see if I can stay beneath 1mil words, which would be nice. It is already a long story, and if I went for the 1mil... well, it's be just a tad too long.

Well, to sum it up:

Nicolai is awake again. Bugger seems to have slept enough for now. Though don't expect him to partake in any battles the next few days. Hillary could get right up and running because of her Alliance Marine augmentations. Seeing as he has none of those, he'll have to go natural about it.

Magnus and Tara seem to have finally torn the walls between them down. Everything is new and cautious with those two, as Tara, despite the way she has killed Cerberus operatives before, has never really known love aside from what her parents showed her. This could complicate matters, but ah well, love is there to complicate matters, isn't it?

Speaking of love... I always enjoy writing fluffy scenes with Ashley and Thomas. In the start of the story, it might have seemed like little more than a fantasy for those two, but now... now I know this is good.

And... we're almost finished building Anna's Goliath Warship. Dear gods I hope it'll be done by the time they need it. Will wait with including its Codex Entry until its completed.

Please, do me the honor and stick by me until the end of this story. We're nearly there :)