Author/Underhill's Note: Chapter 20! Okay, so this one's up a little fast; I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing. This one Cas is doing a little better, I think (I hate it when Cas is sad too! It hurts making him miserable, but if Dean were gone, I think he would be devastated). So, disclaimers disclaimers, I own nothing Supernatural except the original plot in this story, disclaimers disclaimers. And thank you once again, reviewers, you rule : ) Reviews make me want to update quicker; I always check my email to see if there are any and when there are I am like, ecstatic, which is probably sad, but oh well! I am slightly less exhausted than usual which is AWESOME, though I don't expect the trend to stick, but fingers crossed. Anyways, I'll stop rambling and go start chapter 21! Yaaaaay! I hope you like this one!

Chapter 20

Feb 14th, 7: 50 AM, Pontiac, Illinois

It's not the first time Claire's snuck out her window. The first time she'd sprained her ankle, which was hard to explain to her mother when she found her injured in bed the next morning. Claire asserted it must have "happened in my sleep" and "I guess I just didn't notice." She's better at navigating the roof now, and at swinging herself down from the drainpipe. Aside from a few scrapes and bruises, she hasn't been injured again. This time she is extra careful though, because it would look odd to show up to the school dance sporting big bruises.

She lands in a crouch on extra light feet. She creeps to the side yard and grabs her bike and zips up her jacket. It'll take maybe thirty minutes to bike downtown, and ten minutes from there to get to the mall to look at dresses. She figures she can get breakfast on the way and maybe some coffee, because she hasn't been sleeping well lately. She hasn't been for a while, but it's been worse the last few nights; the buzzing in her is getting louder and more ubiquitous.

She kicks off and starts pedaling. If she gets back by noon she should beat her mom out of bed, so she'll have some time to shop before Josh picks her up at six. She smiles as the wind hits her. Things might suck in most regards, but at the moment, things are looking up.

7:35 PM

Claire wishes she'd never come to this damn dance.

Her head aches, she's wearing the wrong kind of shoes, and Josh, now that she's talking to him about something other than the current topic in History class, she's finding that he's kind of a tool.

She's hiding in the bathroom, trying desperately to make the buzzing stop. She hits the palm of her hand against her ear. She splashes water on her face. She eventually ends up in one of the stalls, head between her knees and fighting nausea.

"Dances are stupid," she mutters to herself.

A group of girls comes tittering into the bathroom and Claire decides she can't avoid Josh forever. She stands, pushes open the stall door, and passes her classmates. Josh waves at her from across the dance floor, and starts heading her way. Claire raises her hand to wave in return - -

CRSHHHZZZHSSSSCRKK

Claire's hands shoot to the sides of her head - - it's exploding, everything is exploding! White sound, radio static SCREAMING - -

CRSHISSSSSSCRKSSHHH

Someone's holding her by the elbow, trying to keep her up, but she's collapsed to her knees. Does no one else here the NOISE?

Hands in front of her face, voices trying to break through the static - -

Blackness.

In Hell, there is little else to do but run, and talk. Bela and Dean do plenty of both, if only to keep from going mad.

"Lillith was human once upon a time," Bela explains, and Dean blinks in response. He has no words, because that is such a blatantly stupid statement that it can't be true. Lillith never had a shred of humanity in her; she was a monster.

"I know what you're thinking, but it's true. She was created at the same time as Adam."

"I thought that was Eve."

"That's the story, and it's half true. Eve was created after Adam, from one of his ribs. But before her? Lillith and Adam were created, at the same time, and separately, equal."

Dean soaks that in. "So what happened?"

"No one's exactly sure. But Lucifer took her in when she was expelled from Eden, and he… twisted her."

"So you're saying she was a sweet lady up until the divorce made her bitter?"

"God no. I'm sure she was a bitch even then."

"That's more like it," he says, relaxing his head against Bela's shoulder. He hmms as she runs a hand through his hair. His eyes slip closed.

"You sleep, Winchester," she says softly. It's only been a year since she found him, and he's still barely functional. She's trying to take care of him best as possible, but she's frightened, for the first time for someone other than herself.

"I'll look after you."

Feb 16, 11:04 AM

"Done and done!" Bela says, clicking the mouse with a flourish. "Message sent. We'll get a response in a few days."

"A response from who?" Dean asks distractedly; he's still working on the Lupa Fetish paperwork, and goddamn is he glad he actually went to some of his math classes in high school, because otherwise this would be kicking his ass.

"My IT person," she responds. "I asked her to look into the whole Voice matter. It should be a few days; she's rather brilliant."

"Better than Sam?"

Bela shoots him a scathing look. "Sam," she says, "is an amateur. Liselle is a professional."

"Okay, okay! Sam sucks, Liselle rules, I get it. No objections here."

"Now, the more pressing issue: what could get past our warding and how can we correct for it?"

"Why do I get the feeling this is going to involve more Enochian carved on me?" he asks, wincing.

"Because it probably will." She crosses the room to his desk and pats him on the shoulder. "Buck up, Winchester. If nothing else, this venture should prove interesting."

"Interesting or painful?" He keeps on crunching numbers though, balancing the books. Is it wrong, he thinks to himself, that he might actually be starting to enjoy this?

Bela looks from him to the paperwork knowingly.

Probably, he concludes.

Feb 18, 11 PM, Sioux Falls, South Dakota

Sam's been out of the panic room all day, but he's sleeping there one last night just in case. Castiel is keeping watch in the kitchen, one eye on his book and the other on the basement stairs.

Rufus left as soon as the doctor gave him the all clear. Castiel makes him nervous, and the angel is too tired to reassure him.

He sighs. The book in front of him, the incantations, they're nonsense; and it was so promising at first.

There's a fluttering behind him.

"Castiel."

Castiel sits stock still at the phone banks. Bobby is asleep upstairs, and Sam is sleeping it off one final night in the panic room (just in case) so no one else should be in the house. And that voice is familiar. But it can't be.

"Castiel."

Breathing out slowly, Castiel turns his head.

It is. "Balthazar," he acknowledges. Balthazar is in a new vessel from the one he last saw him in, many thousands of years ago. This one is male, blond, taller than the last. He speaks with an accent that is not from this continent. He stands with the same rigidity that is common to their species, a posture that Castiel is slowly losing. "What are you doing here? You are still assigned to the West Winds, are you not?"

Balthazar inclines his head. "Yes, indeed. But I find myself in need of answers. Heaven is in upheaval Castiel. Some say it is because of you."

"You're not here on orders, are you?" Cas suddenly realizes. His eyes widen in bafflement. Balthazar was always a little odd and sideways thinking, but to blatantly disobey orders? He would never. But then again, neither would Anna, and neither would Cas, but look where they're all at now. "Do they even know you're here?"

Balthazar looks contrite. "They do not."

"Then what are you DOING here?" Cas asks.

"Do you have the boy Adam?"

"Adam?"

"Adam Milligan, the son of John Winchester."

"No," Cas says slowly. "Adam Milligan is dead. I do not have the… power to raise a man." The 'anymore' lies unspoken between them. "Why? Has he been risen?"

Balthazar nods. "And Zachariah is tearing apart Heaven, Hell, and Earth to find him. I do not know why." The angel pauses. "None of us know why."

Castiel does know (or can at least make a good guess) though he is hesitant to tell his brother. Trusting another angel at this juncture seems like a inadvisable idea.

"Take us to another location, brother," he says, and in an instant Cas is swept away to a beach that must be halfway across the world, considering it's daytime. The skies are clear and the water is unbelievably blue, and Cas marvels once again at his father's creation. His father, he thinks darkly, and looks back at Balthazar. "Do you really wish to know what is going on? You won't like it, and you likely won't believe me."

Balthazar seems to waver, but: "Yes. I need to know what is going on at Home, regardless of consequences."

Castiel sighs. "Then let me explain it to you."

Feb 19th, 6:24 AM, Pontiac, Illinois

Claire wakes up with a killer headache and a weight on her chest. It turns out to be her mother's hand gripping tightly to hers.

I'm in a hospital, she realizes.

She stills when her mother starts to stir. She doesn't want to deal with her right now; she needs to figure some things out first.

Something has happened in Heaven. She's not sure what, but it has to do with Adam and the fact that he's escaped.

From what it sounds like, there's a 'traitor' in the ranks, and this rumor that's not a rumor is throwing Heaven into chaos. No angel knows who to trust anymore. They don't know who to believe or who to follow orders from.

Claire takes perverse pleasure in this. Angels have ruined her life, she's glad someone is ruining theirs.

When Castiel finishes, Balthazar's quiet for several long minutes. They've been talking for hours, and Castiel understands his silence. When he realized the full extent of Heaven's betrayal, he'd needed some time to process it too; he's still processing. When Balthazar does recover the faculties of speech, his response is pretty much what Cas expected.

"I don't believe you."

"I thought you wouldn't," Cas says. "Go Home, brother. Ask what our older brothers have been doing the past year and a half. Ask where Anna disappeared to, and why they are searching so hard for Adam Milligan."

"I will," Balthazar says defiantly, as if daring Cas to speak more against his Home. "I will ask and you will see. I will return." He leaves and Castiel is left alone on a beach, presumably those thousands of miles from Sioux Falls.

"Wonderful," he says sarcastically. The flight home is going to leave him exhausted for days.

Feb 19, 10:11 AM, Sioux Falls, South Dakota

"Is that Cas crashed out upstairs?" Sam asks Bobby, pushing into the kitchen. He goes to the counter (only slightly dirty since Cas took over cleaning duties), and pours himself a cup of coffee. "Want one?" he asks. Bobby shakes his head and continues reading the paper. He circles a suspicious article and turns the page.

"Yep. Been sleepin' for hours, the idjit. Wonder what he did this time."

"I thought Cas didn't sleep."

Bobby's paper droops. "You are kidding me, boy." At Sam's confused look, he puts the paper down altogether. "You cannot be fool enough not to have noticed that our angel up there's falling fast."

"Wait, what?" Sam looks so confused that Bobby decides to take pity on him.

"He sleeps. I've seen him eat a piece of toast once or twice, though I don't think he noticed it hisself. He's halfway to being human, Sam."

"I… I didn't realize it had gotten that bad."

"Well, that's obvious," Bobby scoffs. "He doesn't want us to. I think he thinks we'll kick him to the curb or something when he 'stops being useful'." He air quotes the last bit and Sam laughs.

"Not useful? Cas?"

"Never said he was smart. He runs the place a damn bit smoother than I did, and he doesn't even know it. Practically runs the phones now; smacked my hand when I tried to answer the FBI line." He shakes his head. "Don't know how to convince him, though. Won't listen to a word I say."

Sam sits down heavily. He knows Cas has been taking Dean's death hard, harder than either Bobby or him (though he's loathe to admit it), and that something's broken in the angel. But he didn't know Cas was falling, as in angel mojo all dried up.

"Doesn't he trust us anymore?"

Bobby shakes his head at Sam's stupidity. "Sam, I don't know if that boy ever trusted us. Only person he did trust is burnin' in the Pit. I think he's only stickin' around because he has no idea where else to go, or what else to do."