AN: I wasn't going to post this originally, but than I decided to so that it wouldn't be so confusing to those reading Disaster. It's sort of a 'bonus' chapter to those who are curious. Thanks everyone for your reviews, and don't forget to check out Disaster when that's posted :)

Chapter Thirteen

The next few days were like a blur to me.

It didn't help that I was constantly answering missed calls and filling out paperwork for Fury. Luckily Natasha had explained to him what had happened. That it did happen still made me cringe. The first night I got back I woke up from nightmares.

You'd imagine my surprise when I was shaken awake by Natasha. Gotta love that SHIELD's watching my every move. But I was thankful for her company. For the first time I was beginning to notice that she was filling in her roll as a mother. And she was actually doing a good job at it.

Rinzler had also been watched over by Steve during my 'disappearance'. Even after saying he'd never watch Rinzler again he had agreed to it. I'd never felt more grateful. I'm sure that Rinzler had given Steve his fair share of trouble.

Other than that I've been slowly adjusting to a normal life. Well, about as normal as my life would ever get.

So you could imagine my surprise when I was invited to dinner at Stark Tower, with the rest of the team of course. The invitation had come from Tony Stark of all people. Normally I would've turned down the offer, but considering it's been a while since I've seen everyone, I couldn't resist.

Taking a deep breath, I glanced at the mirror and tried not to wince at my reflection. After everything I'd been through these past few days, I'm surprised I didn't look worse. I tried pushing the uneasy thoughts aside and covered up my wrists, making sure the scars didn't show.

I may have gotten to know everyone (Steve, Bruce, Tony, and I'm sure Pepper would be there), but the scars were still a touchy subject.

"What do you think?" I looked back at Rinzler, who was perched on the windowsill.

"You look beautiful." My heart nearly skipped a beat, and I whirled around just in time to see a familiar face standing in the living space. It took everything I had not to blush. And I failed miserably.

"How did you get here?" Beck just grinned as he shrugged - a response I've gotten used to over time.

"Apparently I was invited to that dinner too," he replied in a sheepish tone. "Something about, 'you should totally join us'."

Yep, that sounded like Tony. Well this suddenly got more interesting. I wonder if the others knew that Beck was joining them. I suppose we were about to find out sooner or later.

"Guess we should head out than," I suggested after grinning back.

It was good to see him. No, it was better than good. I didn't even want to know how he managed to get here without turning on the Digitizer. My guess was Tony had somehow hacked into it. Or Sam. Wouldn't surprise me if those two were working together now.

"Are you sure they won't be annoyed with me?" he asked as we headed down after locking up (I had to keep Rinzler from following us. Little nutcase was ready to run out of the door).

"Hey, it was Tony's idea," I replied.

I hoped we didn't run into Peter on the way there. There was no way I could explain to him where I had disappeared to. Last thing I wanted to do was relive those memories. The best thing to do was push them away, forget that it had ever happened.

To relief we didn't run into any trouble along the way. Just a few curious glances every now from people passing us. Luckily Beck's suit had changed back to normal clothes (gray long-sleeved shirt and jeans) upon his return. So for the most part we didn't stand out.

Once inside the building I thought over what I would tell them. All of the worrying I had felt earlier suddenly came rushing back. I'm sure Natasha or Fury would've told them by now. But I didn't want them treating me differently because of it.

"You okay?" Beck looked over at me, expression dark when he noticed I was biting the bottom of my lip.

"I'm just... worried about what they'll say," I admitted.

"I'm sure they understand what happened," he murmured.

Part of me wanted to agree with Beck. But another part of me refused to accept that there was no way I could what had happened. I could have fought back. Done anything to keep those nightmares from coming back.

I was hoping that Beck was right.

As the elevator reached it's destination I could already hear the loud laughter of Tony in the background.

"... could easily get you a girlfriend Rogers, you need one," he was saying as we stepped inside. "Speaking of lovely couples."

This was one of those many times when I wanted to slap that smirk off of his face. Steve's cheeks were burning a bright red while Beck just ruffled the back of his hair. All the while Tony was laughing his ass off.

"Tony, the last thing I need is a distraction from work," Steve muttered as he tried dropping the subject.

"Since when are women distracting?" By now Tony was struggling for breath as Clint said that.

"Good to see you again kid," Tony said after catching his breath. "And of course our favorite Renegade," he added with another grin.

Beck only rolled his eyes in response. Even he got used to Tony's sense of humor. Or I should say his sense of not thinking before he should speak. Either way, we had both pretty much gotten used to it.

"You didn't tell us that he was invited," Steve pointed out in an accusing tone.

"There's a lot I don't tell you," Tony retorted.

"That's because you don't have any secrets," Natasha put in. She was sitting across from Clint, looking rather annoyed as Tony stuck his tongue out at her.

So far no one had asked what had happened. Even Clint and Natasha looked passive as we joined them. Surprisingly the conversation was kept casual as Pepper walked in with Bruce. I don't even want to know where those two had been hiding.

For the most part it was uneventful, aside from the many questions (more like demands) Clint kept asking Beck. If I could I would've kicked him, but he was sitting across from me at the moment. All I could do was shrink back in my seat.

There was nothing new from Bruce, other than the fact that he had started packing up again. Apparently he was headed out of the state for a few weeks. Something about needing a break from the rest of the world. Steve had announced that he was reassigned to Washington D.C., but that wasn't happening for another few months.

That was when Tony decided to drop the bomb. Once the dishes were cleared away we were back in the living space.

"So there is actually a reason why I invited you two here." Tony clasped his hands together before he turned to face us. Glancing over at my shoulder, I noticed that the room had gotten quiet. Not just because everyone was tired of hearing Tony's constant ranting. "I asked Sam if we could merge companies."

This time my jaw actually did drop. I could see why Tony wanted to merge companies. I may not be familiar with how businesses worked, but I did know the technical terms. What I couldn't see was how this would benefit Sam in any way.

"When did this happen?" Beck asked.

"Just last night," he replied while pouring a glass of whine. "Had a nice long chat with Sam and Alan over the phone. Bradley seemed fine with it, but Sam's..." He just shrugged.

I had a feeling that Sam wouldn't be so eager to merge companies. Seeing as Tony didn't trust SHIELD, even though they pretty much knew everything about them, I doubted Sam would ever trust Stark.

"Something tells me this isn't going to end well," I said under my breath. Beck only nodded in agreement, but he grinned nonetheless. Who knows, maybe Tony could actually convince Sam to go through with this.

. . .

Two more weeks passed since the incident. Lets just call it that. Every time I thought about it I cringed. Not just from knowing what had happened, but because it had happened. I kept telling myself that the nightmares would go away.

"Dear younger me, Where do I start, If I could tell you everything that I have learned so far, Then you could be, One step ahead, Of all the painful memories still running through my head, I wonder how much different things would be, Dear younger me, dear younger me..."

It was one of those times I wished I had never gotten stuck on the Grid. None of this would have happened.

But than I would have never met Beck. Or discovered who my real parents were.

"Are you okay?" I flinched as I heard Beck's voice rise above the thoughts roaring in my head. Normally I wasn't sitting at the desk reading up on the files Director Fury had sent me. For the most part I spent much of my days and nights either training or on the Grid. This was in fact the first night off I'd had in weeks.

"Honestly, I'm not," I sighed after leaning back against the chair. Rinzler was curled up nearby, tail wrapped neatly to cover his nose. Beck sat across from me, looking more than just worried. "I know that Sam can just rewrite the damage caused by... Dyson, but that doesn't mean he can't rewrite everyone's memories," I explained warily.

It made me wonder how everyone could be so forgiving. No one had bothered questioning why I did what I did. Even that was enough to make the nightmares return. I may have told them I couldn't remember what was going on, but that wasn't entirely true.

"Hey, everyone knows that it wasn't your fault," Beck tried to reassure me.

"They may know it wasn't my fault, but they still know it was me behind the mask," I retorted.

Now I understood how Tron had felt when we found him again. At first he was reluctant to be seen after following Clu's every order as the new Rinzler. Everyone had grown to fear the name Rinzler because of who he was and what he had done. Some programs were still getting over it.

"Don't think like that." I looked at Beck in surprise when he said that. "You're better than that."

What he said caught me off guard. And I never expected to find myself crying. It felt good to let everything out. I was thankful Clint and Natasha weren't around to see me. I didn't want them breathing down my neck, even if that was their way of showing that they cared.

"Don't you have to go back soon?" By now we were both sitting on the sofa, Beck's arms wrapped around me as the night dragged on.

"Actually Tron kind of gave me the next few cycles off," he explained, suddenly sounding sheepish.

That made me raise an eyebrow in surprise. Tron, giving him time off? I can't even remember the last time that had happened. Judging from that sheepish look he had he was thinking the same thing.

"What exactly... did Tron say about it all?" Again I flinched. I couldn't stop myself. And this time Beck frowned as he thought of what to say next.

"He uh... didn't say anything actually," he admitted. "In fact for the most part he's been pretty quiet about... what happened." Even Beck found it uncomfortable to say exactly what had happened. And I couldn't blame him one bit.

Knowing Tron he probably blamed himself for what had happened. Beck had already blamed himself enough, and apologized more times than I could count. I hated seeing him like this, especially since his friends had already discovered who he really was behind that mask.

In the long run it would take time for us all to recover. Clint and Natasha had already warned me that I might have nightmares for a while. Even Tron had warned me. Maybe it was time we both spent a few days away from the Grid. For our sake and for everyone else on the Grid.