Disclaimer: I don't own twilight but I promise I'll try and update my ffics, which I do own, a bit more often!
Btw if anyone's interested and hasn't heard I have a Doctor Who fic called Once, Twice, Three Times which is an AU 10Rose fic – you'll get it if you know the show, and more recently a Castle fic called Feeling the Heat...check it out if you can and drop me a review ;)
Chapter Fifty Five: Interview with the VampireCarlisle:
Bella drifted off to sleep eventually, and only then did Edward join me in my study to discuss the wolves' situation. I stared out the window, hoping that the apparent serenity of the outside world would help me think. It wasn't working as well as it usually did.
"I don't like him being around so much," Edward grumbled, "but I won't fight Bella. I can't – not when she's like this."
"You have to admit he's dedicated to her," I put in, reviving my theory as to how to save ourselves and Bella at the same time. This time, though, I was feeling bad about having to exploit Jacob and his relationship with Bella.
"Don't feel bad," Edward objected. "It's about time something came of that relationship. Besides, it will keep her safe. He'll be happy for that. What matters is that we get her through this. There must be something, Carlisle. Something you've overlooked."
"I'm trying," I promised.
"Are you?" he prodded. I turned from the window, taken aback by the sudden bitterness in his tone. Edward glared at me from his dark corner of the room, growling under his breath.
"Calm down, Edward," I held up my hands peacefully. "I'm not trying to fight you. We're all stressed, and with the wolf pack after us as well, we have a lot to think about. Think of Bella; she needs to be in a calm atmosphere at the moment. We all need a break, especially you. It's too dangerous to hunt with the pack around, but are you sure you shouldn't take some time to yourself..?"
Edward stopped growling, but his expression didn't soften before he turned and ran out of the room. I listened for the sound of the piano, violin, or even radio, but silence remained.
.o.o.o.
Esme:
I worried about Carlisle the second those two disappeared upstairs. Edward has been so tense, and I think Carlisle is going to have to face whatever demons he's been burying in his brooding silence by Bella's side. Downstairs, in an automatic circle of protection around Bella, the rest of us listened anxiously to the tense voices in Carlisle's study. Alice looked miserable. Jasper looked like uncomfortable. I was restless; Carlisle is a strong man, but over the years of Bella being in our family, both immensely happy and highly stressful times have shaken his anchored personality. Especially after my stupid stunt with Victoria, he's been doubting himself at every turn. It only serves to aggravate the situation that Bella is potentially on her deathbed and even though he's facing his area of expertise, he can't do a thing. Ever since his change in 1918, Edward has had the power to please or hurt his father with a single word, and as the minutes ticked by and the voices upstairs increased in intensity, I began to fidget in my seat, contemplating interrupting.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Alice give me a nod. Needing no more invitation, I ran up the stairs, only to practically bowl Edward over. He snarled but, when he saw it was me, apologised under his breath and disappeared.
Flustered, I turned to the door of Carlisle's study. It was hanging open and I could see Carlisle leaning against the bookshelf beside his window, as still and pale as corpse in the moonlight.
"Is everything okay, sweetheart?" I asked, trying to be as gentle as possible as I could almost see the cracks of weariness appearing in his shimmering skin as he stood up to face me. He didn't say a thing, but held out his arms as though he hadn't seen me for years. I rushed forward to fill them and felt his weight collapse onto me.
Together we slid down the bookshelf to the floor. We kissed or ran our fingers through the other's hair when the desire overcame us, but it seemed we were only there for a few minutes before the room was full of sunlight and birdsong. Carlisle kissed the top of my head and took a deep breath with his nose in my hair, then sighed it into the air and took another deep breath, his eyes closed. He seemed more at peace, but I could feel the tenseness in his shoulders and see the creases in his face that warned me this was far from over.
I stood up first, and walked to the window, where I saw Jacob's now familiar reddish shape make his way towards the front door.
"Jake's coming," I warned Carlisle. "Edward shouldn't talk to him. He'll tear the boy apart."
"I'll do it," Carlisle decided. He glanced around the room at the abandoned medical apparatus and added; "It's not like I'm much use around here anyway."
Before I could object, Carlisle was out the door and headed downstairs to meet Jacob.
.o.o.o.
Carlisle:
"Are you all right, Jacob?" I asked, shutting the door on Edward and Rosalie as they continued to argue about Jake's presence here. I tried to keep the exhaustion and frustration out of my voice: it wasn't Jake's fault...though it would be easier for everyone if he didn't keep turning up.
"Is Bella-?" he choked, stunned at my sudden appearance.
"She's…much the same as last night," I said. "Did I startle you? I'm sorry. Edward said you were coming in your human form, and I came out to greet you, as he didn't want to leave her. She's awake." Well, that was the simple version I had picked up on my way down the stairs between Edward and Rosalie's insults and Bella's objections.
Jacob, his surprise collapsing into exhaustion, retreated to the porch steps and slumped against the railing. I came quietly down to sit beside the opposite railing. There was a moment of silence only a heartbeat long before I decided to speak.
"I didn't get a chance to thank you last night, Jacob," I started. "You don't know how much I appreciated your compassion. I know your goal was to protect Bella, but I owe you the safety of the rest of my family as well. Edward told me what you had to do -"
"Don't mention it," Jacob mumbled. Feeling that same door slam in my face which had put a barrier between us after the fight with the newborns, I abruptly cut myself off.
"If you prefer."
Just like that, the silence was back, and now we could hear the voices inside. I watched the grain dance through the wood of the steps as I listened to Esme's tuneless humming, Emmett, Alice and Jasper's hushed voices, and Rosalie and Edward's breathing. At least it was a change from the fighting. Over all that, much louder, were Bella's breaths, scraping in and out of her sickly chest, and her irregular heartbeats, stumbling and failing. Between them, the child's heart beat like the staggering footsteps of a bird which had just flown into a window. The sound of it twisted an invisible knife in my chest.
"She's family to you, then?" Jacob asked after what seemed like hours, although his heart had only beat a handful of times.
"Yes," I told him, smiling a little to myself as I recalled her and Edward dancing on their wedding day, in a perfect world of their own, as though the rest of us had been looking through glass. "Bella is already a daughter to me. A beloved daughter."
"But you're going to let her die."
Jake was only trying to pinpoint my reasoning, but it brought the images of perfection crashing down around me. I hung my head.
"I can't imagine what you must think of me for that." Shame burned through my veins like venom. I tried to make myself look at Jacob, but in the end I just looked back at my knees in front of me. "But I can't ignore her will. It wouldn't be right to make such a choice for her. To force her."
"Do you think there's any chance she'll make it?" Jacob asked hesitantly. "I mean, as a vampire and all that. She told me about…about Esme."
"I'd say there's an even chance at this point," I replied quietly. Even I wasn't sure whether that was good news or bad news. "I've seen vampire venom work miracles, but there are conditions that even venom cannot overcome. Her heart is working too hard now; if it should fail…there won't be anything for me to do."
"What is that thing doing to her?" Jacob asked in a hushed voice, as if he were afraid to speak any louder. "She was so much worse last night. I saw…the tubes and all that. Through the window."
"The foetus isn't compatible with her body," I explained. "Too strong, for one thing, but she could probably endure that for a while. The bigger problem is that it won't allow her to get the sustenance she needs. Her body is rejecting every form of nutrition. I'm trying to feed her intravenously, but she's just not absorbing it. Everything about her condition is accelerated. I'm watching her – and not just her but the foetus as well – starve to death by the hour. I can't stop it and I can't slow it down. I can't figure out what it wants."
My weary voice broke at the end of my little speech. My hands were shaking, so I put them together. I wished I was back at Esme's side, feeling her gentle caresses and knowing that in her eyes I could never fail. Out here I felt bare, listening to Jacob's breaths wheezing in and out of his chest as he tried to calm himself. I took a deep breath, trying to listen to the strong, even thudding of his heart instead of Bella's wild pulse.
"I wish I could get a better idea of what exactly it is," I muttered. "The foetus is well protected. I haven't been able to produce an ultrasonic image. I doubt there is any way to get a needle through the amniotic sac, but Rosalie won't let me try in any case."
"A needle?" Jacob wondered. "What good would that do?"
"The more I know about the foetus, the better I can estimate what it will be capable of," I explained. It felt better to teach...at least then, I felt like I knew something. "What I wouldn't give for even a little amniotic fluid. If I knew even the chromosomal count…"
"You're losing me, Doc," Jacob interrupted. "Can you dumb it down?"
I chuckled dryly; I was known to disappear into medical talk when considering such things as this, but my family could usually keep up. To be fair, many of them had a medical degree's advantage over Jacob.
"Okay," I started over, finally managing to look at him. "How much biology have you taken? Have you done chromosomal pairs?"
"Think so," Jake replied. "We have twenty three, right?"
"Humans do," I corrected.
Jacob blinked, shocked.
"How many do you have?"
"Twenty five," I told him.
"What does that mean?" he asked, frowning down at his fists.
"I thought it meant our species were almost completely different. Less related than a lion and a house cat. But this new life – well, it suggests that we're much more genetically compatible than I'd thought." I sighed and looked back at my legs. "I didn't know how to warn them."
Jacob sighed too, as if he wished he could hate me. I wished he could too: then at least someone would feel about myself the way I did. Rosalie hated me for trying to intervene, but it wasn't the same as hating myself for staying out of the way. Edward had gone past hatred now; I didn't even matter, I was just a figure in the background of his own private hell. The others were trying to tell me it wasn't my fault, which was making me feel even worse, if that were possible.
"It might help to know what the count was – whether the foetus as closer to us or her. To know what to expect." I shrugged and sighed, facing the reality of it. "And maybe it wouldn't help anything. I guess I just wish I had something to study, anything to do."
"Wonder what my chromosomes are like," Jacob muttered to himself. I shifted my seat and coughed self-consciously, wondering if he would be angry…but there was no point keeping secrets from Jake now.
"You have twenty four pairs, Jacob," I confessed.
Jacob slowly turned to stare at me, eyebrows raised.
"I was…curious," I admitted sheepishly. "I took the liberty while I was treating you last June."
"I guess that should piss me off," Jake said, after thinking about it for a moment. "But I don't really care."
"I'm sorry. I should have asked."
"S'okay, Doc. You didn't mean any harm."
"No, I promise you that I did not mean you any harm," I assured him. "It's just that…I find your species fascinating. I suppose the elements of vampiric nature have become commonplace to me over the centuries. Your family's divergence from humanity is much more interesting. Magical, almost."
"Bibbidi-bobbiti-boo," Jacob mumbled. I had to laugh.