Chapter 5

Loki sat quietly over the railing, off where Tony had proposed. It's was a secluded area. Nobody really came through, so he'd knew he'd be alone. Loki looked down into the water below, thinking about all of the things he did. Loki let his eyes wander down to his wedding band before he yanked it off, about to throw in the pond when he stopped and placed it right beside him. At least his last thoughts would be about Tony, Loki was about to let go when he heard someone scream to him . . . "Loki!" Tony yelled.

Loki whipped his head around and said "Tony?"

The billionaire looked as if he had ran all the way there, which he had. "Loki, please, baby, don't do this. I love you." Tears were falling down his cheeks. "I know I'm an asshole, but that doesn't mean you need to do this. I-if you really want, you can leave me. I won't even put up a fuss. I-I'll leave you alone." Tears choked him from saying any more.

"Tony . . ." Loki said "It's not you, I'm a monster, I don't deserve you; you deserve better than me; I don't deserve your love, your kindness . . . I don't deserve you."

"What are you talking about, babe? Of course you do! I chose you, didn't I? If I didn't think you were worth it, I wouldn't have made that choice!"

"Then you made the wrong choice," Loki said crying "I'm worthless; I don't deserve to be happy, or even to be alive . . ." As Loki said this, he scooted closer and closer away from the railing.

"Loki, don't!" Tony sobbed. "If you do, then I'm going to jump right after you!"

Loki gave a small smile small and said "I love you . . ." Loki then closed his eyes and let go as Tony screamed at him, Loki felt the shock of the cold water hit him, causing him to take a sharp intake of water. Loki felt himself fade out as he welcomed the blackness that was enveloping him.

"Loki!" Tony shouted as he dived into the water after him. Tony swam as fast as he could until he reached Loki and pulled him up to the surface. Tony gasped for air as he looked over to Loki to find him pale and limp in his arms. Tony then swam to the bank and started pumping the water out of Loki's lungs,"Loki, please, baby, come back to me." He begged with a whisper. Loki then started coughing up water, and Tony turned him over letting him force the water out of his lungs. "Thank god." He breathed. "Let's get you home."

*o*O*o*

"Loki." A voice called from above. "Loki, wake up, babe." Loki groaned before he felt a pair of fingers lightly brushed away a few strands of hair from his face. "Oh, thank god." Tony let out a breath before kissing the raven's forehead.

"Tony," Loki whispered opening his eyes slowly when he saw his husbands worried face in front of him "Am I dead?"

"No, thank god, and don't you dare do that to me again." Tony's eyes were raw and red. "Please. I was so scared."

Loki tried to sitting up only to feel weak and opted to lie back down and whispered "I didn't want to scare you like that, Tony; I love you, I just thought you'd be better off without me."

"How could you ever think I would be better off without you?" Tony whispered as he sat on the edge of Loki's bed next to the raven. "I couldn't live without you, Loki." He placed their foreheads together.

Loki blinked and wrapped his arms around Tony's waist. "I can't live without you either, Tony." Loki then kissed his husband who kissed right back. "Please don't leave me." Loki whispered when they pulled apart.

"I will never leave you." Tony held him close. "I promise." Loki just tighten his arms around Tony's waist and they just laid there together, not wanting to let the other go. Tony just continued stroking Loki's hair, trailing his other hand along the raven's back. "I love you so much." He whispered over and over. Loki settle into Tony arms before he felt back asleep out of exhaustion with Tony still whispering loving things in his ear.

*o*O*o*

Later that afternoon, Loki woke alone. "Tony?" Loki called out sitting straight up looking around worried before attempting to get out of bed "Tony?"

"In the bathroom, babe!" Tony called. "I was getting a shower! Wanna join?"

Loki unsteadily got out of bed before opening the bathroom door to see his husband in the shower. Loki let his eye rake over Tony's tan form, before saying "Do you want me to join you?"

Tony gave a small smirk while his eyes glittered with concern. "Do you think you can handle it?"

Loki shrugged before stripping his clothes and getting in with Tony. "I don't know, let's see shall we?" Loki then kissed Tony softly before pulling away.

Tony gave a mischievous smirk before leaning up to kiss Loki hungrily. "Never - do - that - again." He ordered gently between each heated kiss.

Loki then pulled Tony closer and said "Trust me,I won't; I love you too much to leave you."

Tony gave a soft smirk. "Good." He began nipping along all Loki's soft spots on his neck, trailing his hands all along his back and hips.

Loki wrapped his legs around Tony waist as he let Tony assault his neck. Loki let out a moan when Tony started sucking his soft spot "Tony . . ." Loki gasped "Take me, take me now!"

Tony paused in his ministrations. "Are you sure?"

Loki nodded crashing their lips together in a heated kiss. "I'm sure."

Tony couldn't help but smile at that before he grabbed some lube that they left in the shower. After all, it wasn't the first time they had done it here. "Alright, but if it starts to hurt, stop me." He looked at Loki sternly but gently.

"I will," Loki panted as Tony began to prep the other gently, slipping one finger up with lube and easing it inside.

Loki gasped at the feeling of Tony stretching him with the one finger, Loki attempted to fuck himself on the one finger before whispering "More . . . ugh." Tony gave a sly grin before doing as he was told. Loki felt Tony put in a second finger and start scissoring him; Loki groaned loudly and said "Tony . . . please . . . oh gods . . . fuck me . . ."

"Are you ready for me already? It's been a while since we -"

Loki looked him in the eye and said "I'm ready...trust me…"

Tony gave a small smile before giving his cock a generous amount of lube. "If I hurt you -"

"You won't," Loki said bring Tony closer "I can handle it. Now fuck me."

Tony laughed. "Alright." He hovered his cock right over Loki's tight hole before sliding in gently. "Oh, fuck, Loki, you're so tight!" He moaned. Loki bit his lip when Tony enter him. It did hurt a bit, but after his last session with Victor he could take it. But Loki couldn't help but gasp out, causing Tony to look at him "Are you alright?" Tony panted out.

Loki nodded and said "Just give me a second." Tony nodded and waited patiently, silently quivering as Loki's delicious heat wrapped around his cock like a vice. Loki then said "Okay, move."

Tony shivered and did as the other bid, groaning as he slid in more until he was completely sheathed. "F-fuck!" He groaned, burrowing his face in the crook of Loki's neck.

Loki moaned as Tony was fully sheathed in him, when Tony started to move he started moaning in pleasure. "Yes . . . Yes . . . God, yes . . . Don't stop . . . ah . . ."

Tony gritted his teeth at Loki. "God, babe, I missed you so much." He panted out.

"I missed you too," Loki moaned as Tony started hitting his sweet spot "God...so close…"

"Cum for me, baby." Tony breathed huskily.

Loki then came screaming pleasure "Victor!"

Tony immediately froze. "Victor?" He repeated.

Loki then froze knowing what he had just said "Tony . . ."

Tony swallowed slowly. "Who . . . Who's Victor?" He whispered.

Loki was silent for a moment before he said "Remember when you found the hickies on my neck? I had a one night stand with him . . ."

"Doesn't sound like a one night stand when you screamed his name during climax." Tony spoke with a hollow tone.

Loki felt his eyes water with unshed tears and said "It meant nothing . . . I was only trying to make you jealous . . ."

"Well it worked, didn't it?" Tony pulled away from him and sat on the edge of the bed, his own eyes begin to water. After a period of time, he spoke once more. "How many times?" He spoke over a bare whisper so that even Loki struggled to hear him.

"Once," Loki said letting his tears fall now "That was it, and I felt so bad keeping it a secret from you I just want to -"

"Don't lie to me. Not now." Tony spoke harshly. "You know I can tell when you're lying. For god's sake, Loki, we've been married for three years alone, not counting how long we were dating!"

"Fine," Loki said "More than once, but it meant nothing... I love you and you only."

"Does it? Mean nothing?" Tony whispered.

"It never meant anything," Loki said looking away from Tony "I can understand if you want to leave me -"

"I should!" Tony snapped. "I should leave you . . ." He swallowed. "But . . . But I won't . . . I can't when . . . God knows why . . . I still love you." He looked at Loki, who looked back to Tony, before kissing him once again. Tony couldn't help but kiss back, his body hurt under Loki's touch, begging for comfort.

Loki wrapped his arms around Tony's neck and said "I'm sorry . . . I'm so sorry . . ."

Tony suddenly found himself crying. "I- I know I was an ass but . . . I tried, Loki. I fucking tried . . ." He sobbed. "I tried so hard with you but you wouldn't talk to me . . ."

Loki looked Tony in the eye and said "I'm a very hard person to talk to . . . after all, it took me a while to even talk to you."

"I know, but -"

"Tony, I have walls," Loki said "I'm still scared to let these walls down, but with you I try. I really do."

"Not anymore."

"You're right," Loki said "I don't try enough anymore. It just feels like even if I speak, nobody's listening."

"That's just it! I'm listening!"

"How am I supposed to know that?" Loki said "I'm so used to being ignored, I can't tell if someone listening anymore."

"I am always listening to you." Tony mumbled. "That's what it means to be married."

"Tony . . ." Loki said "Do you remember Fandral?"

"I remember what you've told me of him, yes. Not that you've told me much of that either."

"Fandral cheated on me . . ." Loki whispered "And I knew, but I never left because I thought nobody could love me but him . . ."

"Looks like you were lucky two more times."

Loki gave Tony a half hearted glare. "Now is not the time to be sassy with me, Tony."

"Yeah, well, too bad. You have your walls, I have my sass."

Loki then started laughing a bit. "I love you."

"I love you too." Tony sighed and rested his head against Loki's shoulder. "I want to meet him." He said suddenly.

"What?" Loki said confused.

"I want to meet this Victor guy."

"Why would you want to do that?" Loki asked.

"Because I can. And you owe me that much at least." Tony shot back.

"You're right," Loki said "I do owe you that."

"So?"

"When would like to meet him?" Loki asked.

"Today."

"Today . . ." Loki gulped "I don't know Tony . . ."

"Today, or I leave." Tony gave him an ultimatum.

"I'll give him a call," Loki said, looking for his phone before his brows furrowed with confusion. "Tony, did you leave my phone in Central park?"

"I don't know. Did you have it there?" His voice grew colder. "Or did you leave it at your boyfriend's?"

Loki was about to glare at Tony when he realized he actually had dropped his phone in Victor's loft, Loki sighed. "My phone's at Victor's . . ."

Tony threw his hands up in the air. "Of fucking course. Whatever. We're still going since I'm sure you know the way anyways." He stomped over to get his coat.

Loki rolled his eyes and mumbled "Of course I had to leave at his house."