Chapter 19

Regina followed Emma up to their room. She could still feel the anger rolling off of her, but she knew better than to try and stop Emma's anger. It would do neither of them any good. She knew that Emma would be angry with her. She knew that she should have told her before they went through with everything but she knew that Emma would try to stop her out of some misguided reasoning that she would be saving her.

She sat down on the foot of the bed and waited. She stared at the master bathroom door and waited for Emma to come out. She didn't have to wait long for Emma to come out. She watched as Emma stopped in the doorway.

Emma came to a halt, her hand still on the light switch. She stared over at the bed, trying to be angry with Regina, but softening as soon as she saw Regina's lavender eyes. Her green eyes tried to be hard and angry, but even Emma knew that things were different with Regina. She could see it on her face, in her eyes, in her expression.

"I'm still not happy," Emma told her.

"I know."

"You didn't tell me. Why? Why couldn't you tell me?" Emma asked, starting to break down.

"Because I knew that you would try to stop me with some halfcocked plan to try find another way," Regina answered matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, well, you didn't give me the chance," Emma replied.

"I know."

"Do you trust me?" Emma asked.

"With every fiber of my being," Regina told her.

"But-"

"Emma, I know that you are angry with me. You have every right to be, Dear. Please, understand that I didn't tell you because I knew that you would try to find another was to try to save me. It wouldn't have worked and I would still have a blackened soul. The only way for me to be relieved of my pain was to die. I knew that it would be hard for you to hear, much less witness. I have seen Rhiannon do the magic before. I knew that it would take. I knew that it would work. I knew that I wouldn't fail," Regina explained.

"But, you asked Snow to help you. She's my mother. She killed your mother. Your hatred for her drove you for years and then all of the sudden, you give her the power over your life. That is just plain insane," Emma stated.

"I know that, Dear, that is why it had to be your mother."

"I still don't get it."

"It was a way for us to redeem each other. In her murderous actions towards me, I would forgive her everything that she ever did. Her helping me die by killing me was an act of mercy by your mother. In her act of mercy, she earned my forgiveness and I proved to her that I was willing to die for you and for Henry. She saw the depth of love that I bear for you both. It wasn't a light decision for either of us."

"You still should have told me."

"I know."

"I…it isn't fathomable what you two did. I mean you drowned at the hands of my mother. Rhiannon used some potion to bring you back to life. Your eyes are this crazy but beautiful color of purple. And, to top it all off, you are now friends with my mother, who was your greatest enemy. But, regardless of all that, I am supposed to be happy about it because it earned my mother's blessing and your pardon," Emma responded.

"Well…yes, Dear, that about sums it up."

"Unbelievable."

"What is, Dear?"

"You are both still planning my life and I'm a fucking adult. I should have had some say in this. I should have…it wasn't fair."

"I know."

"Did you even think about what this would do to me?"

"Yes, Dear, I did. That is why I didn't tell you. That is the reason that I told your mother to help me send you away so that we could accomplish what had to be done. I did everything for you."

"Don't say that. Don't you tell me that. You can't sit there and tell me that," Emma stated as she crossed the room to face Regina face to face.

Regina stood up, knowing that Emma wanted a fight. She knew that Emma was angry, but she knew why. She was waiting for Emma to yell and scream at her. She was waiting for Emma's wrath and when it didn't come, she looked up trying to figure out why.

Emma was standing before her, looking utterly defeated. It was breaking her heart to see Emma like this. It was her fault and she understood that. She just wanted Emma to do something. She wanted her to take her frustration out on something. She couldn't take the hurt look in her eyes.

"Do you want to yell at me, Dear?"

"Would it do any good? I doubt it. You…I just…I understand…I…gah…I am supposed to be your partner…in everything. I chose you. I stayed here because of you. I have done everything for you and Henry. You are all I think about with every decision that I make. You didn't even give me that luxury. You just went and died. You think that I'm just going to be okay with that. There is so much wrong with that, I don't even know where to begin," Emma told her.

Regina stood up and pulled Emma into her. She embraced her as hard as she could, trying to make Emma understand how much she actually cared for her. She tried to push her love into Emma. She felt Emma slump into her before going rigid. She didn't let go. It just made her more determined to make Emma feel her emotions, to feel how much she cared and to get Emma to let her anger go.

"Where is Henry?" Emma asked changing the line of conversation.

"He went with your parents back to the loft."

"And, Red and Rhiannon?"

"Ruby took Rhiannon home with her to Granny's. She knew that we would need some alone time. Snow called her after you ran upstairs. They gave us the house to ourselves so we could yell at each other. They didn't want Henry to hear it," Regina offered.

"How very civil of them," Emma muttered.

"I think it was more for your well-being than his. He knows that we disagree. He has heard and seen it before. Tonight would be no different. I think they didn't want you to feel like you had to hold it inside. I don't want you to, either. It wouldn't do anyone any good if you did."

"And, you would know?"

"Yes, I would. It is how we all got here to begin with. The war with your mother, the curse, my banishment here, it all has to do with me holding in my emotions and not letting them out. I never sought the solace of another. I never asked for help. I just dug deeper into the darkness and those around me, helped me further down that path."

"Regina…"

"I am not saying that you will do that, Dear. I know you won't, but bottling your emotions up will do nothing but make you moody and unpleasant. Yes, it will affect your magic because emotion has a big part in them, but you are the product of true love. You deserve so much more than just an ordinary happy ending. You deserve the love and adoration that made you into being. I took that away from you as a child and I mean to give it back to you."

"Regina…" she started. It was more of whisper, but the anger and pain could still be heard. It wasn't a plea to stop talking, but more of warning, a silent growl that Regina had come to know Emma capable of making. She turned and saw the tears of anger in her eyes, but Regina didn't stop. She couldn't. She needed to clear the air with Emma.

"I am the reason that you have looked for love, home, and family. I took from you the one thing that I so desperately wanted and I didn't even know that I was. I hurt you before I knew who you were. Your pain, all of it, is my fault. If I hadn't enacted the curse, you would have grown up with your family in the Enchanted Forest. You would have known love and family. You would have had a home. You would have been happy. I took that away from you. I can't…"

"Shut up, woman," Emma growled, her green eyes dancing as she watched Regina.

Before Regina could utter another word, Emma took her mouth. She ate at Regina's mouth, hungry for something they both wanted. They wanted to feel love and feel like they belonged in a family. Emma was angry and her mouth betrayed her want and desire for the woman she was kissing. She bit at Regina's lips as she kissed her hard.

Regina knew that Emma was trying to make her point and so she let her. She didn't stop Emma when her hands forced her against the bed. She didn't stop her, when Emma mounted her hips and tore open her silk blouse. She didn't stop her because she knew that her body could be the balm that Emma needed to heal the wounds that she had caused.

Emma tore her mouth from Regina's and stared into her darkened purple eyes. She was looking for something in them and Regina did everything in her power to convey her love back to Emma. Emma's hand wandered over her torso, grazing and scratching her flawless olive skin. She watched the paleness of her hands against Regina's body and couldn't help but laugh.

Regina looked up at her, questioningly, but said nothing as Emma continued to touch her.

"The light and the dark," Emma stated, as she bent over to suck on Regina's neck.

Regina could feel her brows knit in question, but still she said nothing. She was enjoying Emma's lips on her throat. She normally would have cared about Emma marking her in such a visible place, but right now, she would let Emma do whatever she wanted to her body as long as it made Emma feel better. She would take the punishment, gladly, if only to see Emma smile.

"Yin and yang," Emma murmured against the base of her neck as she moved the kiss down.

Regina was still confused, but her mind was giving over to the pleasure that Emma was taking. She tried to stop thinking about what Emma was saying and more about what she was doing to her body. She decided that she had lain still long enough and that she needed to join in the fun.

"No," Emma told her, pushing her hands away and staring into her eyes.

"But-" Regina finally stated.

Emma didn't respond with words but actions. She kept Regina's hands from her body as she tore the destroyed blouse from Regina's. She made quick work of the black lace bra and threw it across the room. She shoved Regina back on the bed. Not allowing her time to comfortable, she clawed at the belt buckle, button and zipper of Regina's slacks. Once they were sufficiently out of Emma's way, so were the pants. Regina heard them hit a wall across the room.

She looked up into Emma's eyes. The pain was still there, but lust was hovering close behind. She tentatively reached out and touched Emma's cheek. She leaned into her hand briefly before pushing it away. Regina wanted to cry, but she didn't. She had caused this. She would take it.

Emma raked her eyes over Regina's body, a body that had given her so much pleasure in the past few years. She could feel the magic swirling in her blood. She didn't want to hurt Regina, but she needed a release. She needed to feel…and she needed to punish. It was a thin line and Emma knew that. She was amazed at how far Regina has already let her go. She could see the questions in her eyes, but she also saw Regina's approval.

Emma slowly touched Regina's stomach. Her fingers mapping the flesh for her mind. She heard Regina's slight hitch in breath followed by the slow release of a sigh. It didn't stop her determination. She felt the goosebumps forming under her knowing fingers. She felt Regina's body respond to her touch and it did nothing but spur her on towards her goal, even if she didn't know what that was at the moment.

Emma's hand ghosted down Regina towards her core. Regina leaned into it. Emma watched her eyes looking for some sort of disdain or discord, but only found love. Emma's heart was breaking inside her every time she met Regina's eyes. The love that she bore for Emma was more than Emma thought was possible. They had saved each other on so many occasions that Emma began to wonder if this wasn't another test between them. Could they possibly resist each other if they tried? She didn't think that they could anymore. There was just too much between them. There was too much entwined between them.

"Emma?" Regina asked, noting the pause in Emma's movements.

Emma found herself. She shook her head and continued with her downward moment. She looked at Regina again as she shredded her underwear from her hips. Regina arched up to help her, but also to feel Emma against her. The warmth of Regina's skin under Emma's hand drove Emma's progression. She moved slightly over her center and felt the flutters of Regina's muscles beneath her fingers as she came closer to her apex.

"Emma…"

Emma broke a little more and pushed herself into Regina's wetness. She heard the audible gasp escape Regina's mouth as she her body bucked up under Emma's weight. Regina enjoyed every minute of Emma's skin tight jeans rubbing against her naked flesh as Emma ravaged her body. She could hear the litany of sighs and pleas for Emma to continue falling ungraciously from her mouth. Emma ate every word up and spurred onward.

"Emma…"

Emma turned her fingers upward inside Regina. She felt Regina close around her and heard her screams as Regina came undone beneath her. She held onto her as she soared and then came crashing down beneath her. Emma watched as the aftershocks continued to fuel the passion in Regina's body. She was mesmerized with Regina's eyes as they opened. They weren't lavender. They were brown and full of want, need, desire, and passion. Regina stared up into Emma's eyes as they finally softened.

"Regina…"

"Emma, hush," she commanded as she flipped them over and put Emma on her back.

Emma looked up at her, but said nothing. She just looked up at Regina's face watching the love that she was trying convey. She finally smiled and Regina returned it.

"You will always be my light, Emma. You balance me more than you know. I am the darkness to your light. I am the evil to your good, but together we have found that we need each other."

"We do."

"I know that, Dear. And, that is why I had to die. I knew that I would come back for you. I knew that I would live again…for you. You are my other half. You are my true love. We cannot simply live without each other," Regina told her.

"Yin and yang," Emma replied.

"Light and dark, Love, light and dark," Regina stated, kissing her thoroughly and with a passionate abandonment that Emma had never felt before today.