Chapter 20
Regina woke the next morning alone. She was a little surprised, but she wasn't as devastated as she thought she might be. She dressed quickly and grabbed her robe before heading downstairs. She hadn't crossed the landing to the stair way when she smelled pancakes. She smiled. She knew that Emma only made pancakes on the weekend. It was her thing, something that she had started with Henry when she moved in years ago. It seemed odd that Emma would be cooking pancakes that early and on a Monday, but Henry was home for Spring Break.
Regina was further surprised when she walked in her kitchen to find Snow at her stove and not Emma. She arched an eyebrow at Snow, who as always smiled in response but gave no verbal answer. Regina did a quick glance at the breakfast table. She found David, Henry, Ruby, the twins and Rhiannon all sitting down. The girls had tall glasses of milk and the adults, including Henry, Regina thought begrudgingly, had coffee. Emma was not at the table.
When David's eyes met hers, Regina looked down. She wasn't proud of what happened, but she had earned Snow's blessing. She knew that David and Emma were going to the hardest to convince that the situation was okay and that it had been for the best for both of them. Emma had inherited David's sensibility to "light gray" thinking, as Regina called it. His blue eyes betrayed his feelings, but to his credit, he didn't say anything.
"Morning," he told her, nodding and saluting her with his cup of coffee.
Henry turned around to see Regina and smiled. He was beaming at her. She gave him a questioning look, but said nothing to him. He got up from the table and walked over to where she was standing at the island watching Snow cook. He gathered her in a tight hug.
"She's upset, Mom. She'll be okay. She went for a run," he told her like he knew everything that had happened the night before.
She looked down into her son's hazel eyes and saw his love for her. She smiled at him and nodded. At least he knew where his other mother was. He had always been a good catalyst between them when they were angry with each other.
"How many pancakes would you like, Regina?" Snow asked her bringing her out of her reverie.
"Two will be plenty, dear," she replied.
She walked over to her giant stainless refrigerator and pulled out the OJ. She poured herself a tall glass and returned the pitcher of the OJ back to the fridge. She took a long drink of it before walking back around the island to perch over the bar and stare at Snow, cooking at her stove. The move didn't bother Snow, who continued to cook the pancakes on the griddle irons she'd found and was starting to scramble some eggs in another skillet.
She watched the effortless movements of her step-daughter in her kitchen. Normally it would have made Regina angry to see this, but she knew that was too tired to fight and she was trying to be better. They had forgiven each other. She needed to learn not to be so harsh with Snow anymore. It was going to be a learning process, but she was determined to make this new life that she had work. She wasn't going to let old habits and grudges run her life again.
Snow served her a plate and placed it in front of her. She looked up into Snow's hazel brown eyes and smiled in thanks. She didn't know what to say.
"I'm sorry," Snow started, low enough for her to hear but no one else.
"For what, my dear?"
"For taking over your kitchen. Granny's was closed but we knew that you could accommodate us all before we made the jump. I hope that it is okay. We really didn't want to bother you while you were sleeping. I know that you had a long night with Emma, but Henry suggested it."
"I am sure he did."
"Are…you two alright?" Snow asked.
"As well as we can be considering," Regina replied.
"She'll come around."
Regina took a forkful of eggs and ate them. She looked up into Snow's eyes. Snow handed her the syrup, still smiling. Regina didn't know if she could handle having a relationship with her step-daughter and family due to their infuriating and constant optimism.
"She will. You'll see. She'll come around."
"I have no doubt about that. I not worried about how she feels right now. I worried about Henry. Today is his day. I don't want anything to ruin it."
"It won't. I promise. We have everything under control back at the palace. The gown makers are waiting for you and Emma. David is going to take Henry to the tailor's to have his readied."
"I could just wear something I already have, Snow. I don't need another ball gown. I never wear them twice," Regina told her.
"Nonsense, you can never have too many. Besides, everything that you have left is black. You don't want to wear black to his birthday, do you?" Snow questioned.
"No, I guess not."
"Wait, I know."
"What?"
"Do you still have that dress from the engagement party that …. Never mind. Forget that."
"I do. But, I will not wear it. You can have it if you want," Regina offered.
"I couldn't."
"If you would like it, you can have it, Snow. I have no need for it, nor do I want it. I am sure that I can have it sent to you. Rework the bodice if you like; I am sure that it would look good on you. You have the…shape for it. I do not."
"Regina, just forget it. You can burn it if you want. I am sure that you don't want to be reminded of…what happened," Snow told her.
"Amazingly, that is the only dress that survived the entire ordeal. It was the only thing that reminded me that one day, I could have my happiness, again. It is both a reminder and a goal."
"I understand."
"I will see your dress maker, but I do not promise to wear anything that they make."
"Fair enough, Regina. There is one other thing that I would like to discuss with you in private, if we may. I am not sure that you want others to hear, yet," Snow suggested.
"Can it wait, dear? I am a little out of sorts and don't feel like dealing with politics right now. How about we discuss it before lunch? We could do it while they are working on Emma's gown. I am sure that you won't want to miss that," Regina told her.
"Fine. That sounds good," Snow stated, looking at her family, all of it in Regina's kitchen eating breakfast like it was a normal thing and smiled. "She'll be back soon. You'll be okay."
Regina wanted to share her sentiment but she knew that she'd hurt Emma. She knew that she had been selfish but she couldn't see any other way around it. She had to prove to herself that she didn't need Emma. She was strong enough to be on her own if she needed to be. She realized that she was kidding herself. She needed Emma like the plants needed rain. Emma was her sunshine and rainbows. She was her "happily ever after." Emma was Regina's true love and she knew of no greater power than that.
Regina was taking her plate to the sink to prewash it before putting in the dishwasher when Emma came in. She turned around in time to take the questioning look in Emma's eyes before they glossed over, hiding her emotions. She watched as Emma kissed Henry's head before scruffing up his hair. She kissed her sisters on the cheek and then her father. She met Snow at the stove and took a hug. Snow kissed her on the cheek and whispered something in her ear. Regina saw the flash in Emma's eyes, but noted that Emma nodded in response.
"How much longer until we jump?" Regina asked, breaking the family silence.
"About an hour and half, I think," David replied.
"Well, I need to get ready. Help yourselves to the pantry for snacks, if you want to take any that you can't find there. You all packed and ready, Henry?" Regina asked him.
"Yeah, Mom, all ready."
"Good, don't forget any homework that you may have, either."
"I know, Mom. I got it, too. Not that I'll be able to do much without the internet."
"True, but we might be able to find a way," Regina told him as she left.
She didn't hear Rhiannon follow her out. Frankly, she didn't care. She wanted to hold Emma again. She wanted to kiss her and promise her that everything would be alright. That nothing had really changed. That she wouldn't be using magic for evil, just for good, whatever that was.
"How long are you going to be gone?" Rhiannon asked.
"We, including you, will be gone no longer than two days' time here. It might feel like a week to you while we are there. Time is different, but you know that."
"I don't understand why I have to go," Rhiannon stated.
"Because I am not leaving you here alone. Besides, you'll be with me. We can search the libraries and my old palace. I am sure that we can find something that will help us with your endeavor. Just think of it as a working vacation," Regina told her.
"I don't know what that means."
"It means that we are going to play but work at the same time. We are going to celebrate my son's birth. I am sure that Snow has some grand ball planned to show him off to the kingdom. We are going to dance, have fun and celebrate today and tonight. Tomorrow we will begin the hunt for your daughter. My powers will be greater once we jump. I'll have a better sense of what I need to do to aid you in this quest. It will work out, Rhiannon, I promise."
"It seems that you have gained the Charming Optimism, Regina. I must admit. It does look good on you. I will go with you, but as for the ball, I have nothing to wear."
"Nonsense, you are a queen, Rhiannon. I am sure that we can find a gown befitting your station. I am sure that Snow will have no problem getting you in to the gown makers before this evening. Trust me; they are some high spirited elves. Even you, being High Born, will be surprised at their speed and efficiency," Regina told her.
"We shall see," Rhiannon answered as they parted ways to get ready for the day.
Emma pulled a stool up to the bar and watched her mother. She hadn't said two words to Regina when she came back in from her run. She hadn't even kissed her. She saw the hurt look in her eyes, which she was glad had returned to the natural color, but she didn't do anything about it. She went into the fridge and poured herself a glass of orange juice and then sat back down.
Snow watched her daughter and picked up on the mannerisms that Emma had learned from Regina. It was funny to watch her daughter in her step-mother's house, knowing that they were together, but it didn't bother Snow as much as she thought it would. She knew that Emma was happy with Regina, even when she was mad at her. She could only wonder how long she was going to let this burn before she blew up and they made up. They were both volatile and Snow could see it. She figured that they would be at each other's throats by now, if things had been totally the same, but she knew that they weren't. She could see the difference in Regina's eyes earlier. She could see it, now, in Emma's.
"Go to her."
"What?" Emma asked, as she ate some pancakes.
"She is still hurting."
"From what?"
"Everything, Emma. Just because I forgave her, doesn't mean that she had forgiven herself. Believe me. She had changed. I have can see it. She reminds of the girl that saved me, the young woman that was my step-mother briefly. Like you, her childhood was…complicated. The darkness surrounded her from her birth. She gave into it because it was the only thing that she knew. She couldn't escape her mother or Rumpelstiltskin. They made her."
"I know that, Mom," Emma replied over another forkful of food.
"She is trying to be the person that she was before Daniel died. She is trying to be better. Do you know why? Can you see it?" Snow asked her.
"She told me that it was for me, because she loved me."
"She does. If you look into her eyes, Emma, you can see it. I know that you love her, too."
"I do."
"Then, why are you punishing her? If anyone should be punishing Regina, it should be me. I am not. I have forgiven her and now, so should you."
"But, Mom," Emma started.
"No, buts, Emma, either you love her for who is or you don't. I happen to know that she is your true love. How could she not be? You two are perfect for each other. Now, go upstairs. Tell her your sorry and that you love her and make things right. If you don't, you'll both be unhappy and we don't want that tonight, do we?" Snow asked.
"I guess not."
"You know I am right."
"So?"
"Why are you acting like a sullen teen-ager?"
"Because I can."
"Grow up, Emma, or you might lose the one thing that you have fought to keep."
"Yeah, and what's that?"
"Your family," Snow said, matter-of-factly as she turned to the sink to do the dishes, leaving Emma with her mouth agape staring at the back of her head.