Chapter Twenty-Four:
Godric waited until Mackenzie's door was closed before focusing his attention on his child. Eric no longer cared about Mackenzie, and was quickly darting towards Alcide. Godric stopped him, however, grabbing the back of his neck effortlessly and yanking him backwards.
"You will calm down, Eric," Godric demanded in a low voice, forcing Eric to his knees. The blonde struggled, viciously lashing out at his maker, but Godric's hold remained. "I will command it if need be."
"I will kill him," Eric hissed with narrowed eyes. "I will rip him apart limb by limb. I will feed off of his screams of his agony for days."
Alcide swallowed hard as his orbs shot towards the door. He wondered if he was fast enough to make it. But not even his werewolf traits were a match against either of the vampires before him. He may be fast and he may be strong, but he was nothing but an ant to them both.
"Explain what transpired today," Godric caught the wolf's gaze. "And do not leave anything out."
Alcide didn't look sure as he sent Eric a cautious glance. He was snapping his fangs in his direction, and Alcide knew if Godric lessened his grip that it would all be over.
"Eric will not harm you," Godric assured. "I promised Mackenzie your safety. I intend to keep that promise. Now speak."
Sighing, Alcide knew there was no other option but to tell the vampire's the truth.
Godric hesitated outside of Mackenzie's room. He could faintly hear her sniffs, her breathing still labored in panic. He wanted to barge into that room and take her into his arms, promising everything was going to be all right. But he knew that he could not. They may have made small strides towards creating a new bond, but she still detested him, she still had not forgiven him for abandoning her.
Sighing, Godric waited until he could hear the slam of the front door before knocking gently. Eric had stormed away in a huff after extracting information from a willing Alcide. His progeny had been furious, tearing apart the living room, and likely would tear apart Fangtasia out of anger now that the sun had set. Godric had to command him from the house, if only to keep Mackenzie safe. He knew Eric would never intentionally harm the girl, but in his current state, Godric wouldn't take any chances.
"Mackenzie?" Godric called to her softly. "May I come in?"
When she didn't respond, Godric grew worried.
"Eric has left for the evening," he hoped knowing the raging vampire had left would ease her worries.
A small sharp intake of breath filled his ears before her whispered voice answered. "Come in."
He closed his eyes, preparing himself, before opening them once more and cautiously opening the door. He wasn't sure what he had expected to find when he entered her bedroom, but a broken teen settled on the floor was not it. It broke his heart to see the destruction in her eyes as she slowly moved her gaze up to meet his, only to quickly look back down at her lap. Her back leaned against the side of her bed, her legs crossed beneath her. She looked so helpless, so despaired. She had always been such a strong girl, that to see her utterly broken, it felt wrong to Godric.
Once again, he found himself having to control his urges. He wanted to go to her side, to take all of her pain away. He wanted to brush away her tears and promise her the entire world. He would do anything in his power to see even the slightest smile rest upon her lips.
But he had to stop himself. He had to battle the desire away and proceed with caution. And he hated every bit of it.
"He hates me, doesn't he?" Mackenzie was the first to break the silence, pulling her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms protectively around them. She chewed on her bottom lip, as if she was battling her own desire to burst into tears.
Godric sighed as he took a small step forward. "He doesn't. Eric could never hate you."
"Yes he does," she muttered miserably. "He's always hated me. This just…"
"He does not hate you, Mackenzie," he assured her. "In fact he loves you very much."
Mackenzie snorted. "Right."
"He's very protective of you," he took another step. "He allowed his anger to cloud his judgment, but that does not change the fact that he cares."
"He was going to kill Alcide. He was going to kill me!" her heart skipped a beat, her shoulders shaking at the thought.
Godric shook his head, stepping even closer. He was almost within reach of her now. "Eric never would have allowed himself to hurt you. He was angry, yes. But he would never harm you. He loves you."
"Well he has a funny way of showing it."
"Oh, Mackenzie," he couldn't stop himself this time. He was beside her in a flash, and despite her initial flinch at the contact, he grasped her chin and turned her gaze to meet his. "Eric has always struggled in his display of emotions towards you, and that is partially my fault. But never think that he does not love you. He's loved you from the moment he laid eyes on you."
She didn't believe him. She tugged herself away from him and retreated back into her silence, refusing to believe anything he said. Eric hated her. That was made clear when he turned his fangs on her. She knew as he was tearing apart downstairs that he was imagining it was her instead. He hated her, and even worse, he likely wanted to kill her. She had lost the very last remnants of what could have been a real family the moment she disobeyed him.
Godric sat there beside her, unsure of what to do. She didn't want his comfort, nor did she want to hear his assurance. But he refused to just leave. He had promised her that he wouldn't leave her, that he would do anything to earn her forgiveness. He couldn't possibly leave her when she needed him the most.
"Can you tell me what happened today?" he eased into the topic. He didn't want to upset her more, but he wanted to know why she ventured from the house when she knew of the danger. Alcide had told him everything they wanted to know, but Godric knew there had to have been more to it than Mackenzie simply being hungry.
"What's the point?" she shrugged. "You probably glamoured Alcide into telling you everything."
"No glamour was necessary," he assured. "But I would like to know what happened from your perspective."
She just stared at her knees, keeping as still as she possibly could. She looked so small and fragile and Godric hated it.
"Little one?"
Mackenzie just shook her head. He wouldn't understand, she knew that he wouldn't. He would just think her reasoning was ridiculous and hate her as Eric did.
"Please, Mackenzie," he pleaded with her. "Let me ease your worries. Let me help you."
"You'll hate me too," she voiced softly.
"I could never hate you, Mackenzie," he so wanted to take her into his arms. The urge was becoming stronger and he wasn't sure how much longer he could control himself.
Mackenzie eyed him out the corner of her eye, though still not moving and inch. The look on his face, it was almost overwhelming. The mere look was enough to cause her walls to crumble. She wanted to be that seven-year-old girl again. She wanted to run into Godric's arms when Eric had lost his temper and cry on his shoulder. She wanted things to be how they always were. She would give anything for the past six years to have never happened. He had always been her rock, the one person she could always count on. But then Godric left and everything had changed.
"I'm here Mackenzie. I'm not going anywhere," Godric knew what troubled her. She ached for him just as he for her. But she was afraid. She had let him into her life for so many years, trusting him with everything, and he had just abandoned her. He had left without a word, not even a goodbye or an explanation. She didn't want to be hurt again, not when she was fearful of losing Eric as well. "I won't leave you again. I promise you. Talk to me. Let me in. I won't disappoint you again, my little one."
She wanted to find a reason not to believe him, to shut him out for good. But the sincerity in his voice sliced right through her. Sighing, her legs dropped and splayed in front of her as her hands shook in her lap. She swallowed back the rising lump in her throat as she tried to find the words to begin.
Mackenzie jumped when she suddenly felt a cool hand on hers, halting their fidgeting movements. Her first gut instinct was to pull away from him yet again, but she fought against it. She allowed him to encase her hands with him, for his thumb to rub soothing circles in an attempt to calm her down. And it worked.
"I was scared," she admitted, only having eyes for their hands. If she looked at him she would surely break completely.
"Scared?" Godric's eyebrows furrowed. "You were scared you were not safe here?"
"No, not like that," she shook her head with a frown. "I was just…" she inhaled sharply, her eyes squeezing tightly shut and she decided on where to begin. "I haven't had many good days since getting sick, and never this many in a row. The longer I was sick, the worse I got, the good days became less and less. Maybe I'd have one once a week, maybe two. But then it became every three weeks, or once a month. It was hard to get through the day, and harder to finish school. I didn't think I would at first. Everyone told me I could put it off, but I didn't want to. I just wanted to get it done, before…well before…"
Her voice cracked and she had to pause. Godric's hand clasped hers, squeezing in encouragement as he remained silent. She was glad for it.
"Ever since the whole hospital fiasco I thought I wouldn't have another good day. I honestly thought I'd be dead by now," the tears formed in her eyes once more. "So imagine my surprise when I wake up one morning feeling fine. Or as fine as I possibly could be. And then it happened again. And again. I knew it wouldn't last forever. I knew I didn't have much time left. I just…" a tear slipped down her cheek, Mackenzie not even flinching as Godric wiped it away.
She had to stop to collect her thoughts. She had always wished that Godric had been there the moment she discovered she was sick. She always prayed that he would show up one night and fix everything. But he hadn't. And that killed her.
"I was scared it wouldn't happen again. I was scared that I would wake up tomorrow and not even be able to get out of bed. I just wanted one last good day, you know? I just wanted to be normal, just for a little while," Mackenzie let out a long sigh as another tear fell, Godric wiping it away just as quickly as the last. "It was stupid. It was so so so stupid. I know I shouldn't have left. I knew how dangerous it was. I just wanted to be a regular girl for once. I didn't want to be sick and dying and I let that get in the way of things."
Mackenzie spied Godric's reaction, chewing her bottom lip as his gaze dropped to their clasped hands. Her leg began to shake nervously as she waited for the vampire to say something, to say anything. It had been such a stupid reason. If she could turn the clock back, she would in a heartbeat. Eric had every right to hate her. She had put not only her life, but the lives of Alcide and Sookie on the line. She was a terrible, selfish person.
"I'm sorry," she bowed her head. "It was so stupid. I'm so sorry. I never wanted any of this to happen. Please don't hate me."
Godric's hand tightened around hers as he shifted closer, closing the gap between them She should have pulled away as he tugged her into an embrace, but she found that she couldn't. She didn't want to. She just wanted Godric to hold her and tell her everything was going to be all right. She wanted her Godric back.
"Shh, little one," his arm wrapped itself tightly around her small form, holding her to him. "Everything is going to be alright, I promise."
"I messed everything up. Eric hates me. Alcide probably hates me. I was so stupid. I'm was so selfish!" the tears couldn't be stopped as they slid one by one down her cheek, wetting Godric's shirt as she dug her head into his chest. "I'm so sorry!"
"This isn't your fault, Mackenzie. None of this is your fault," Godric was caught between sheer agony at her pain and joy that she was finally in his arms once again.
"Yes it is! I knew it was wrong. I knew I shouldn't have left. But I didn't care. I disobeyed Eric and…"
"Hush," he swept his fingers through her hair. "All is forgiven, sweet one."
"But he…he…" a sob escaped her lips. She tried squeezing her eyes shut to stop the tears, to fight back against the emotions racking her body. But it was no use. She had broken completely.
"He loves you," Godric's arm tightened. "He's angry that they got so close to you, that you were put in danger. He doesn't hate you. He could never hate you. Not a soul could possibly hate you."
Her entire body quivered. "But you did."
Godric stiffened at the accusation. Is that what she thought? "No, Mackenzie. I was a weak man, a coward. I left because of those reasons. It was never you. I could never not love you, my sweet."
She lost it. Every ounce of self-control that she had fought for the past six months was crumbling. Every tear, every sob she had held in was unleashed. She didn't care anymore. She didn't want to be the strong girl who could make it through anything. She didn't care what anyone thought. It was only Godric now. She just needed the comfort she had sought since the moment this horror had begun.
Godric just held her as she wept. He would rub her back as he whispered soothing words into her ear, comforting her as his own agony grew. He knew he was partially the cause of this. That if he hadn't of left in the first place, then Eric wouldn't have sent her way, then they would have been a family. They would have all been there when Mackenzie had grown sick. They could have supported her from the start. He had been a cause of her pain and suffering and he would never forgive himself for it.
Time passed slowly, but neither cared until a soft buzzing reminded Mackenzie of her medication. Sniffing and rubbing at her tired eyes, she pulled back from Godric and tried not to catch his gaze. He caught her chin, however, as he brushed the last remnants of her tears away.
"I have to take my medication," she mumbled, still trying to avert his stare.
He nodded but didn't let her go, not until his lips brushed across her forehead. He wanted to say so much to her, apologize for everything, but for the first time in his long lifetime, he felt speechless. Releasing her, he watched as she reached for her phone, shutting off the alarm before shifting on the ground. Godric was to his feet before she could even blink and she was pointing him in the direction of the bathroom. He stared at the array of medicine Mackenzie was required to take and his heart felt heavy.
"Thanks," she took the bottles from his hands, shaking out the capsules before setting them on the ground. Godric returned to her side with a glass of water and she thanked him again. She could feel his eyes on her the entire time and a chill ran up her spine. She had never taken her medication in front of anyone other than her doctor. Even Cassie had always left the room, knowing how uncomfortable to made Mackenzie. But Godric, he just sat there, watching as she swallowed each one. It was unnerving.
Taking the glass from her hand once she had completed her regimen, he fought the urge to take her back into his arms. Instead, he stood once more and set the glass on her desk.
"I can leave if you'd like," she still wouldn't look at him and he wondered if he had gone too far. Maybe he had only made things worse.
When Mackenzie didn't answer, her gaze dropping to the ground, Godric sighed and turned towards the door. He would not put her through another ounce of pain. He would sit outside of her door all night to ensure she was all right, but he would not stay and hurt her further.
Before he could move more than a foot, a hand quickly clasped around his wrist, stopping him in mid stride. His eyes snapped to the fingers wrapped around his wrist, fingers that were just as pale as he was.
"Please don't go," her voice was tiny. "Please don't. I…I don't want to be alone right now."
He gazed over his shoulder at her and his face fell. She was staring up at him with wide, pleading orbs. It tore his heart to pieces. It made him want to start weeping.
"Please?" her bottom lip began to tremble again, and he knew instantly he needed to cause her happiness, not agony.
He was at her side in seconds, his hand rising to cup her cheek. She leaned into his touch, her eyes fluttering close. "I will stay as long as you wish, as long as my condition is met."
Her eyes snapped back open, her lips twisting into a frown. "Condition?"
He smiled warmly, his thumb tracing the length of her jaw. "I cannot imagine the floor being very comfortable."
Relief flooded her face, her shoulders sagging as she nodded. Before she could attempt to stand, however, Godric was on his feet with her in his arms. She let out a small yelp, grasping onto the vampire as he lowered her onto the bed.
"I could have gotten up myself," she muttered.
Godric only smiled at her as he reached for her desk chair. She stopped him before he could pull it over, instead patting the mattress before her.
"That chair isn't that comfortable either." She shrugged. It was a lie. The chair was more than comfortable. But she wanted him close to her. "Your condition, remember?"
He chuckled and sat on the edge of her bed. He glanced at her, catching her gaze only briefly before her head bowed once again. He wanted to reach out to her but stopped himself. Progress was being made, but he didn't want to push the girl too far. Tonight was not the night to hope for forgiveness.
They fell into silence once again, Mackenzie picking at her bed sheet as Godric gazed around the room. They both wanted to talk, both wanted to fill the silence, but neither knew how to begin. Finally, exhausted from the day's events, a yawn sounded in the room.
Godric couldn't help but smile as he glanced at Mackenzie. "You should get some rest. It's been a long day."
"I'm fine," Mackenzie shook her head. She wanted as much time with Godric as she could get. She wasn't sure what would happen once Eric returned. Would he throw her the curb for disobeying?
When she yawned again, however, Godric insisted. "Sleep, little one. You need it."
She pouted, only earning a chuckle in response. Seeing this argument was not one she would win, Mackenzie sighed and nodded, pushing down the bed sheets until she was cocooned underneath them.
"You'll stay though, right?" she questioned before she let her head hit the pillow. She was eighteen years old, but she didn't want to be alone. She had been alone for so long; she didn't want to feel that way anymore.
"Of course," he assured. "Now get some rest, alright?"
She sighed in relief as she shifted into a comfortable position. Her breathing grew steady as her eyes fluttered close. Godric could have sat there and watched her for hours. She looked so peaceful as she was whisked off into her dreams. There her sickness wouldn't haunt her, her pain wouldn't agonize her. She could simply be happy. And that was all he wanted for her.
Inching closer to the girl, Godric couldn't stop himself from reaching out and caressing her cheek. She was pleasantly warm to touch and he never wanted to let go. He had spent six years trying to rid this girl from his thoughts, but she had never strayed too far. He only hoped he could keep her this time.
"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, Mackenzie," he murmured, leaning forward and brushing his lips across her forehead. "But I will not make that mistake again."
"Good," she surprised him by responding, grasping onto his hand before he could move away. He couldn't help but smile as her hand latched onto his as if he were a security blanket. Perhaps, in a way, he was. "I don't want you to leave again."
And he wouldn't. He was certain of that.
A/N: I stole a Pam line, but it felt like the perfect moment for it to be said. Did I not promise lots and lots of Godric? your welcome. This was supposed to be up earlier, but I got distracted by the Royal Baby so oops.
I just want to say, I've only just realized how many reviews I've gotten for this fic and I seriously just want to cry because you are all just so perfect and amazing and I am sending each and every one of you a cookie and a virtual hug. Seriously, it just makes me so happy. You are all so amazing.