AN ~ So I've got a new computer which I've been doing basically everything on, and I haven't had a chance to transfer my old stuff. On top of that, my old computer no longer connects to my internet so I have to transfer by USB. Little pieces of annoying that I haven't quite sorted out. Hopefully at least some of you are in the Doctor Who fandom so you would have gotten something out of me (I've got a bunch of new videos too) but if not, I'm super sorry! I have now transferred all of Stars across though and I have a lot of procrastination ahead of me which is a promising combination for you!
Anyway
Alice has decided to leave us.
Chapter Seventy Two: Guiding Star
Esme:
"What?" Rosalie spluttered. Carlisle held the note out for all of us to read.
Don't look for us. There isn't time to waste…It's the only way…
We love you. I wrapped my arms around myself as for just a moment, I felt the cold wind against my skin. Alice and Jasper, my children…gone. Lost. Leaving behind the only family either of them had ever known.
"Yes, things are that dangerous," Edward said, turning to face Sam as he responded, I would assume, to one of the werewolf's thoughts.
"Enough that you would abandon your family?" Sam asked, elements of bitterness, but also of apology in his tone, as if he regretted listening to Alice.
"We don't know what she saw," Edward defended his sister firmly. Sam's mouth hardened into a grim frown, the softness of apology dissolving. "Alice is neither unfeeling nor a coward. She just has more information than we do."
"We would not-" Sam growled, before Edward cut him off with a sharp hand gesture.
"You are bound differently than we are! We each still have our free will!"
Both of them stopped. I looked at Carlisle, who seemed distracted, only belatedly alarmed by the dispute. He tucked the letter into his breast pocket, eyes on the boys, mind somewhere in between.
"But you should heed the warning," Edward went on solemnly. "This is not something you want to involve yourselves in. You can still avoid what Alice saw."
"We don't run away," Sam shot back darkly. One of the wolves behind him snorted, apparently approving.
"Don't get your family slaughtered for pride," Carlisle suggested, softly, but with weight. Sam turned to Carlisle with a softer expression now.
"As Edward pointed out, we don't have the same kind of freedom that you have. Renesmee is as much a part of our family as she is yours. Jacob cannot abandon her, and we cannot abandon him."
His eyes flickered over where Alice's note protruded from Carlisle's pocket, and he pressed his lips into a line.
"You don't know her," Edward growled.
"Do you?" Sam challenged.
Behind me, Rose and Emmett shifted uncomfortably, but the bitter silence lasted only a moment before Carlisle intervened, putting a hand on Edward's shoulder.
"We have much to do, son," he insisted. "Whatever Alice's decision, we would be foolish not to follow her advice now. Let's go home and get to work. Thank you Sam."
I took a deep breath to try and ground myself again,but the flood of Alice and Jasper's scent was unexpected and overwhelming. I nearly choked on it, and quickly forced every ounce of air from my lungs as if I could wash the thoughts and worries about them from my mind, but with the rush of air I hiccuped, and it turned into a sob. Once I started, I just couldn't stop.
I felt arms around me – Emmett's, hugging me tightly as he watched the others over my head.
"I'm sorry," Sam apologised. "We shouldn't have let her through."
"You did the right thing," Carlisle objected reluctantly. "Alice is free to do what she will. I would not deny her that liberty."
"I'm not going down without a fight," Emmett muttered. "Alice told us what to do. Let's get it done."
He stood me up, and offered me a heartening smile that helped me get my sobs under control. I smiled back at him briefly, and he nodded resolutely. Carlisled followed, then Edward, Rose, Bella and myself. The instructions Alice had left us with were our only things to hold onto, besides the hands of our partners as we ran back the way we had come with an automatic gait, each lost in our own thoughts.
We reached the river, and I recalled the other trail I had noticed on the way to the Quileute border. I suggested it to Edward, just praying that perhaps they had come back to apologise, or even just to leave another clue.
"It has to be from earlier in the day," he replied lifelessly. "It was just Alice, without Jasper."
I tried to keep my expression as blank as his when I nodded and set my attention to putting one foot in front of the other. I couldn't ignore the fact that Alice and Jasper had left – they had abandoned my family, even if they hadn't meant it this way. No, I could not ignore it. Yet, the more I thought about it, the more devastating it seemed. Why would Alice have left if she had seen us get through this? If we did not, well then, thanks be to whatever Almighty is really out there that she had the strength to leave us. But was the situation truly so desperate? Was there not one sliver of hope left for the rest of us?
Carlisle:
Bella and Edward broke off to investigate Alice's solo trail, and I tried to keep my head high as I led the others home. I felt blind without Alice and Jasper beside me; the hundreds of years I had spent without them felt so small, so long ago now. It was as though I suddenly did not know my own mind.
So I leant on the words scrawled on a torn page in my pocket, and established a plan to fulfill Alice's instructions: Emmett and Rosalie would look for nomads, and Esme and I would search out Siobhan and Amun's covens, and perhaps even Alistair. I must admit, I doubted that he would come, but Esme needed some time away from the family to gather herself together. It would only torture her to be around what she could not stop. Perhaps if she felt she was contributing to their protection, even if it was ineffective in the end, it would remedy her aching heart.
Esme gasped and stumbled as we approached the house. I stopped with her, letting Emmett and Rose run past and into the house. Before I could say anything, Jacob dropped off the porch and jogged towards us, incongruously casual.
"Where's Alice?" he asked. It only took him a moment more to see us properly, and he slowed and stopped. His eyebrows and the corners of his lips drooped again as Esme pressed one hand over her mouth and nose, gasping for breath to steady her shaking shoulders, which threatened more sobs, but only breathing in more of the scent of Alice and Jasper; only making it worse.
"They're gone," I told Jacob in a low voice, trying not to upset Esme further though I knew it would be fruitless. "They left us some instructions. We have a month."
"And then what?" Jacob's dark eyes bore into mine. The blood rushed around his body. His heart beat accelerated and he turned and ran back into the house, calling for Renesmee. I turned back to Esme, who reached out blindly as she collapsed. I wrapped my arms around her and brought her to my chest.
"I'm frightened, Carlisle," she whimpered, not even a breath to her voice though it sounded like she wanted to scream.
"I know, sweetheart," I rocked gently from side to side, running one of my hands methodically up and down her back until I felt her violent shaking subside to a manageable bubbling. "We must have faith and be strong, my dear. They need us, now more than ever. We have to trust Alice and Jasper. They knew what they were doing."
"Yes, they did," she repeated, nodding against my shirt. Over her shoulder I could see Rose and Emmett watching us, concerned. I kissed Esme on the top of the head and straightened her.
"Come now, love," I beckoned. "There's much to be done. Alice gave us this chance. Let's not waste time."
"Right, right, of course." She shook her head, and then ran her nimble fingers through her hair and over her blouse and skirt with the efficacy of the war wife she had been in a previous life. She checked my hair as well, and my shirt – making a point of straightening my collar, so that we both smiled – and then we locked our hands together, strength refreshed somewhat, and jogged the rest of the way to the house.
Renesmee leapt on us as soon as we stepped through the door. Esme hugged her granddaughter tightly, burying her nose in the girl's beautiful hair and spinning until they both couldn't help laughing, even if only a little. I smiled to myself. The Lord moved in mysterious and sometimes frightening ways, but He had not abandoned us yet.