The Diego Diaries: Down Time (282) edited for boo boos
-0-At the Sparkling Day School, Terra, Autobot City, Mars
Ratchet entered the building with Ironhide, the two arriving at the school from the underground and a brisk walk through the open plaza in the middle of the town. They walked to the elevator and got off at the third floor where the school held all of their public and parental meetings and gatherings.
As they stepped off, they noted two equally aggravated individuals pacing in front of the bench outside the door that led further inside. They paused when they saw Ironhide and Ratchet, their affect deflating as they saw in the two their own soon-to-be revealed genitorial failures.
Ratchet and Ironhide walked to them and paused. "We're you sent for too?" Ratchet asked.
They both nodded solemnly. The four stood a moment digesting the news, then they all sat down on the bench. It was silent a moment, then Neo walked out. She grinned. "You look like you just got twenty to life in the big house."
"Did we?" Revo asked as Heva and Ironhide stood up anxiously. Ratchet rose and felt once again like a sparkling who got caught doing 'a bad' by his genitors.
Two feet tall.
"Come on in. Roto is waiting for you," Neo said with a chuckle. She turned and led the way. The interior space was divided with numerous conference rooms, a demonstration classroom and one large conference meeting space where genitor-school committee meetings were held regularly. They entered a smaller one and saw Roto waiting. He stood and grinned. "Have a seat. I want to show you something that happened today."
They glanced at each other and sat docilely, silently, depressingly. He sat himself and considered the four. "Your boys were fighting."
They all began to talk at once.
-0-At the studio
"What is this about, Orion?" Kestrel asked.
"My namesake, Ratchet and Ironhide's oldest youngest son," Optimus began. "He was the first sparkling separated in I don't know how many vorns, right here. He was named for me. He is a fire ball and gets himself into trouble right and left."
"Oh. I'm sorry to hear that. Sparklings are so wonderful, I hate to see one learn the hard way," Kestrel said. Tagg nodded. "You were an exceptionally good youngling, Orion."
Everyone smirked at Prime who grinned. "I had exceptional genitors."
They grinned. Everyone grinned. Elsewhere, there were several who weren't.
-0-At that place
Roto held up his servos and they stilled. "I think it might be instructive if you can watch the video. To sort out who was what in the entire thing, I checked the security video. I am not sure that you know about that entirely. We have video cameras everywhere in this and the other schools. We have infants who hide sometimes when things get too tough or they have too much stress. We have to find them. Sometimes they leave without telling us for a number of reasons. We want the highest level of protection we can give. It also allows us to see and hear this," he said as he reached back and pressed a button on the console. The huge monitor behind him lit up and it featured a crystal clear shot of the sandbox.
Orion was playing there talking to himself as he designed and built a structure. He was pleased with the shape that had toys sticking out of it. Then Han appeared and they began to talk to each other.
Orion: "You. Go you."
Han: You bad."
Revo looked at Heva who looked compressed into an anxious pile of woe. He looked back at the screen.
Orion: "No. You bad."
That was when Han stepped over the edge of the sand box heading for the shape Orion had made. Heva sat up. "Is that his toy? The one his grandada gave him last night?" he asked glancing at Revo. He nodded. "It is." They both froze as Orion rapped Han on the servo when he reached for it. Ratchet and Ironhide froze too.
With mortification.
Han: "Ow." He looked furious. Revo looked stunned. Heva looked pissed. Ratchet looked like he wanted to crawl into his own carry hold. Ironhide looked like he was going to pass out. Then he saw Orion imitate him by setting his peds, raising his spoons and looking determined. There was a smidge of his spark that was dancing. He didn't dare show it. He started a file and stuffed it inside for later celebrating. Orion looked pugnacious in a pug dog sort of way, the kind of pugginess that led to fisticuffs. "Go, you. I want go you."
Ironhide counted two new words. Ratchet counted on formal written apologies after this was over. What Revo and Heva thought no one could determine from the frozen looks on their faces. Then they had their own big sinking moment. Their son picked up a little shovel and truck, got his own pug look going and charged.
Roto paused the film, a big grin on his handsome face. "I think its clear that in the first incidence Han was clearly off base. He was trying to take a piece of a structure that Orion had worked on for about a joor by himself. Orion of course was off base rapping Han on the servo. It gets better," he said pressing the button again.
The infants glared, then Han charged. Orion got ready but Han stepped on the mound and face planted. Orion stepped forward and beat on him with his spoons. Han struggled to rise. Orion struggled to keep him down. Then Olo and Mimi walked into the scene, their faces showing shock and cookie crumbs.
Orion paused, Han looked up and words flew. Orion glared. "You fall."
Han glared back. "Orion boo!"
Then Roto paused the film. "I want you to know that both sparklings fighting and the little femmes reacted to 'boo' as if it were a swear word."
All four genitors hit their databanks searching for that word and failed. That is, all but Ratchet. Consensus: "That's odd because that doesn't mean anything in our databases."
Ratchet: "They say that at Halloween but I don't remember teaching it to Orion. He only wanted his candy."
Heva and Revo sat still a moment, glancing at each other furtively. "Uh, I remember teaching it to Han during Halloween so he could trick and treat his grandgenitors. They thought it was funny. Somehow," Heva trailed off.
It was silent a moment.
"They believe its swearing?" Ironhide asked.
Roto who had a giant grin on his face nodded. "Uh huh. Which because of their intentions makes it so."
All of the genitors looked at each other, then Roto. "Oh."
Roto began the film again.
Orion had paused considering the new word. He looked as confused as Ratchet felt. Then Han repeated it. "BOO!"
Orion blinked, then returned the favor: "Han bad! Han say boo!"
Then he began to pound on Han again. Ratchet saw sparkles in front of his optics. Ironhide swayed beside him. Revo and Heva flinched with each blow. Which weren't hard. The blows. Truly.
That was when the little femmes stepped into the brawl. Olo handed her cookie to Mimi and clambered into the box. She staggered to Orion and tried to stop the fight. "O. No."
Orion paused and smiled brilliantly at Olo. "Olo!" he exclaimed.
Olo then began to try and lift Han off the pile of sand that was owning his tiny aft. Orion saw her do that, threw down his spoons and began to help her.
Ironhide felt his helm wrench off watching. Mercurial little muffin he thought. Ratchet on the other servo saw a glimmer of light at the end of the fight club tunnel. That would be dashed shortly but he had it and he would treasure it while it lasted. Revo and Heva just stared, their optics twirling. They decided between them at that moment they wanted a femme of their own. Preferably white with tiny winglets.
Blessed be the peacemakers.
With enormous effort, they got him up. For their reward Orion got a slap on the nose. He blinked and slapped Han back. Olo boggling looked at Han. "No."
Han decided to enlist her support. "Bad, O."
Olo not buying it for a moment looked at him, then Orion. "No."
It lasted a nano-click, then Han pushed Orion. Orion with his little peds planted pushed him back causing him to fall and crush his lumpen design. It was aggravating and Orion looked it. Watching Han flounder, Orion looked around, took his bucket of sand and dumped it on Han. To make it worse, he took his spoons and began to bury the little mech too.
Olo looked aghast. Mimi looked shocked. Han looked smothered. Orion looked determined. Revo and Heva looked faint. Ratchet looked pale. His face was already white but he looked pale. Ironhide was ready to plotz.
Roto was having trouble keeping a straight face.
At that point, Han arose and Orion expected anything, his little spoons poised for war. Olo was standing between them patting first one then the other in alarm. Mimi on the other servo had two cookies and a shocked expression to keep her company. "No. No no," Olo said to no avail.
Then it availed.
Orion put down the spoons, took her little servo and walked to the edge of the box. He helped her over, something that did wonders for his genitors who were poised on the brink themselves.
Then Han made a break for the spoons like the stealth sparkling he was. He only got one before Orion dived for the other. He was no poor shakes in the stealth department either. He didn't run amok every time baths came up for nothing.
Oh no. Not him.
He got his own spoon and they began to swing at each other. They weren't very good at it. Few blows connected before Han lost his footing and fell face first. Orion on the other servo stumbled, spun around and found himself without an opponent. Nothing but sand and toys were before him. Han had been left behind. He looked over his shoulder and saw his enemy clambering up from the sand.
It was here Roto paused the film. "I want to let you know that if I laugh my aft off from here on out, it isn't that I condone or approve of what I am seeing. It is just that these little knot heads are so funny in their ineptitude. I have watched this four times and each time I laugh. Just so you will know." He then continued the film.
It was tough sledding for both infants in the sand. They stumbled around trying to connect with each other again. Han had grabbed Orion's bucket and with as much agility as he could managed to place it over Orion's helm. Han then picked up a spoon and began to beat on it as hard as he could.
Orion in his mania to get free ran right into Han who fell. He stumbled around, then fell over the side of the sand box in a heap. Ratchet felt his tongue cleave to the roof of his mouth. Maybe he was going to swallow it. He didn't know. Ironhide on the other hand nearly got up to help Orion to his peds so engrossed in the moving disaster was he that he forgot it was film. Heva had gripped Revo's arm and was squeezing hard enough to leave digit impressions. Revo in his abject astonishment wouldn't feel it until later.
That is when Olo and Mimi put down their cookies and ran to rescue Orion themselves. Olo grabbed the bucket, Mimi a ped and they pulled. It looked like Orion's helm was going to come off in her tiny servos.
"Oh frag," Ratchet said solemnly.
"Yeah," Roto said guffawing. "It's hilarious isn't it?"
They all looked at him. He caught himself and wiped an optic. "In a train wreck sort of way, of course."
They all turned back to watch.
Orion had gotten to his peds and climbed back into the box. He threw sand but it was a fizzle. Han however laughed and taunted him: "O, bad!"
Heva sat lower in his seat.
Orion then tried to head butt Han. They were then treated to the spectacle of the two running around in a circle in the sandbox, Orion nodding his head forward every time he thought he was close enough to his prey.
He wasn't. By a mile.
That was when Olo and Mimi cried foul and ran for the referees. They could hear them talk to Mr. Roto in the background as their sons ran in circles, one howling with laughter that taunted the one chasing. The one chasing nodding his helm in his fury to catch the other and knock him into the next galaxy with a head butt poured it on relentlessly.
Roto: "Hello, ladies. What can I do for you?"
Both ladies: "O! Han! Bad. No no!"
Then they heard a huge guffaw caught in time by Roto. He then appeared and paused by the side of the sandbox, servos on hips and barely managed look of serious umbrage on his handsome face.
Orion was chasing Han nodding his helm as he tried to get close enough to head butt him. Han was running and every so often paused to hit Orion with the spoon in his servo. He would laugh, Orion would glare and they would be off again.
Neo appeared with the tiny femmes and everyone looked at each other astonished. Roto harrumphed and the two bots slammed on the breaks, their angry faces changing into the biggest most insincere fake smiles ever.
Roto took the spoons, scolded them mildly and plucked them both up. The film didn't show the action that followed but the audio could be heard. Apparently, the Chairs of Doom in the Corner of Doom were their fate. Roto and Neo walked to the couch to sit and console an upset Mimi and Olo. Then Roto got up again.
The sound of chairs moving and repeated instructions to sit until relieved of their positions were heard. Then the video paused. Roto wiped his optics and looked at them. I am sorry I laughed. Maybe when they graduate from college you will find this funny. Right now, we have to discuss this situation." Then he leaned forward. "And this is not the end of it," he said with a grin.
Four sparks actually fluttered.
-0-TBC
04-23-13