Chapter Thirty-Six:
"This room is ridiculous," Mackenzie looked around in awe. The moment she stepped into the suite, she was blown away. Two rooms sat on either side of a large, and modern living room. It was easily the size of a dozen dorm rooms back at school, and that was just the living room alone. Then she slipped into what would be her room and she hadn't been able to leave the most comfortable bed she had ever laid in. everything was sharp with clean lines, flowing with the modern and turn of the century décor of the rest of the hotel. It was beautiful and unlike anything she had ever seen before.
She stared up at the ceiling as she listened to Eric and Godric in the living room. They were speaking in another language and she was too tired to try and understand them. Or care. Her eyes threatened to flutter closed, but she quickly forced them back open. She wasn't ready to fall asleep just yet.
"How do you like it?" Eric knocked gently on the door frame, his tall form leaning against it with his arms crossed.
"Honestly? I'm just happy to sleep in a bed," Mackenzie admitted but grinned anyways. "It's amazing though."
Eric frowned as he stared at her with a weird look on his face. She propped herself up on her elbows as she questioned him.
"What's wrong?"
He sighed but shook his head, pushing himself away from the doorway and stepping into the room. "Nothing. I'm just glad I have you back."
"Well me too, but you have a weird look on your face," her eyebrows furrowed. "What's wrong, Eric?"
He strayed by the end of her bed, glancing at her before looking away. She had never seen Eric like this before, and she had witnessed many different versions of the Viking. He actually looked lost, and it was not how she liked seeing him.
"You're freaking me out," she sat up, settling herself against the mounds of pillows the bed offered. "Is it me? Did I do something?"
"Nothing's wrong, Mackenzie," he assured, but there was still a faraway look on his face.
"You don't look like everything's okay, though," she was worried about him. Shouldn't he be happy? Sure, Godric's house had gotten destroyed, but they were all safe, they were all okay. Why wasn't he happy? "Eric, stop it. You're really freaking me out."
Hearing the concern in her voice, Eric turned his gaze on her and his expression softened. He was the parent; he was the one who was supposed to be concerned, not her. He let out another sigh as he moved around the bed and sat on the edge. His back was facing her, but she was still close enough that he could reach out for her if he wanted to.
"I thought I would lose you," he admitted in a tone so unlike his usual gruff growls. Mackenzie frowned as she inched closer to him, wanting to comfort her guardian. "I thought I would never get to make things right."
"There's nothing to make right, Eric."
He let out a laugh. "I've done everything wrong from the very beginning."
"You haven't."
"Yes I have," he argued. "I could have been so much more to you. I could have given you so much more. But I was a coward. I still am."
Where was this coming from? She didn't understand why he was thinking like this. Sure, things had never been perfect and easy between them, but Eric had done everything for her. He had given her so much more than she had ever hoped. Hell, if it hadn't of been for him, she would have just been getting out of the system now. He had given her a better life; one with a family that cared about her. So they didn't always show it; Mackenzie didn't need it every single minute of the day. Because when it counted, they were there. They had proved that to her time and time again.
"I screwed up so many times with you. I didn't know what I was doing. I sent you away time and time again," he shook his head, still turned away from her. "You don't even realize how much it killed me to send you to New York. You don't even realize how much I wanted to bring you back home."
Mackenzie remembered what Pam had told her when she left the hospital in Shreveport. "Pam said you would come to New York sometimes to check on me."
"She shouldn't have told you that."
"Yeah well she did, so tough," Mackenzie pulled herself off the bed and stood in front of the Viking. He looked so sad, so lost. It looked like someone had kicked his puppy. "Why didn't you ever see me face to face?"
"I knew I wouldn't be able to stop myself," he shrugged. "I would have taken you home before you could have even said a word."
"I would have liked it."
"But it wasn't safe for you," he sighed heavily. "It was never safe for you."
"You did a pretty good job protecting me," she pointed out. "I mean fourteen years and the lunatics only just found me. I'd say that's pretty impressive."
He finally gazed up at her with an incredulous look on his face. "But they still found you. I shouldn't have let them. I should have protected you better."
"You couldn't have done more than you did, Eric. You did everything," she insisted.
"No," Eric shook his head, his lips forming a thin line. "I could have sent you straight back to New York the minute you showed up back home. I should have."
"I would have hated you. All I wanted was to be home. After being gone for so long and being sick, knowing I was dying, all I wanted was to be home with you guys," it had been all she wanted in the last months of school. She knew home was where she wanted to be, though Cassie had tried to convince her not to set herself up for disappointment. Maybe if she had listened, she wouldn't have found herself in this mess. But even being sick, and fighting, and even being kidnapped, Mackenzie didn't regret going home. Not for a single minute. "All I wanted was to be with my family. I just wanted to have that one last time before I…"
"Don't," he stopped her. He couldn't hear her say it. She may be healed now, and maybe it would be permanent, but he could not think about what could have been. "I still could have tried harder."
"Eric," Mackenzie knelt before him. "Stop it. This isn't you. You did everything you could. Sometimes things are just meant to happen. It doesn't even matter anyways, because I'm okay. You guys saved my life. So please stop blaming yourself. This isn't your fault."
"This is entirely my fault," he nearly knocked her down as he jumped to his feet and began pacing the room. "I should have done something. I could have been a better…"
He trailed off and while she wanted to prod him to finish that sentence, she also didn't want to go down that road. Tonight wasn't the night to go over every little thing that had gone wrong in the past fourteen years. Their lives hadn't been perfect. Eric hadn't always liked her, and there were times she had hated him. But she loved him, and that would never change.
"Eric please stop," she pleaded with him. "I just want to go to bed, but I'm scared, and I really just want you to tell me everything's going to be all right. Because I'm really freaked out that this is all some sort of dream my mind cooked up and when I wake up, I'm still going to be in that church. So please, Eric, please stop. None of this was your fault. You did everything you could to protect me. You did everything you could to get me the hell out of there. And you succeeded. I'm here now, so please please, just stop."
He stilled as the smell of her salty tears filled his nostrils. He twisted around to find a tear slipped down her cheek. Before she could even think about brushing it away, he was before her and doing it for her.
"Don't cry," he begged. "I hate it when you cry. You need to not cry again, because I'm really not equipped to deal with you crying."
"Please can we just go to bed?"
His heart broke as he cradled her face within his hands. She looked and sounded so much like a five-year-old version of herself. It tore at his heartstrings. "Whatever you want, Mackenzie."
She nodded with gratitude as she turned back to the bed and crawled underneath the covers. She didn't even attempt to change – not that she had an extra pair of clothes – or even wash away the grime from the bombing. She just wanted to sleep and forget the last few days ever happened.
"Will you stay with me?" she asked in a small voice.
"I wasn't about to leave," he was climbing onto the bed beside her, opening his arm and waiting as she curled up beside him. He became her new pillow and he didn't mind one bit. This was where she was meant to be, at his side, seeking his comfort. It had taken fourteen years, but finally he had accepted this. "Sleep, Mackenzie. This isn't some dream. You are safe. I'll never let them harm you again. Never."
"Promise?"
"I promise you a thousand times over. Now sleep," he kissed the top of her head, tugging the blankets up to her chin. "Sleep and I'll be here when you wake."
Mackenzie awoke with a start, her heart pounding painfully in her chest, sweat breaking out across her forehead. She had had another nightmare, though this time she was relieved there was no ancient vampire popping in to haunt her. The dream itself had been worse enough. There had been a fire again, and the pain. Only her Aunt's taunting had filled her ears as she screamed in agony. It made her skin crawl just thinking about it.
Glancing at the time, she found it to be late morning, well past sunrise but still so early. She tried moving, but Eric's rock hard arm kept her firmly in place. She thought about just staying there, feeling safe in his embrace. But the shadows of the room were giving her goose bumps. She needed out of this room, out of this bed, even for a little while. Maybe she could find something to eat and clear her head before crawling back into bed. She wanted to enjoy this Eric as much as she could before he likely returned to his usual ways.
Finally managing to slip out from under Eric's grasps, Mackenzie snuck quietly out of the room. It was dark in the living room, though she was surprised that she could see the outline of objects quite well without even the slightest bit of light. Still, when the light in the room was suddenly turned on, she jumped and let out a loud scream.
"Jesus Christ Godric!" her eyes grew wide as she found only the ancient vampire standing before her. "Don't do that!"
"My apologies," he eyed her closely. "You're upset."
"Seriously, do you know everything I'm feeling ever?" she grumbled as she glared at him. "Getting a little old now, don't you think?"
He raised an eyebrow at her. "You are not in a good mood."
She just stared at him gob smacked. She couldn't even find the words to describe how frustrated she was with him. Why was he nitpicking at every little thing he thought she was feeling? And why the hell was he always right?
"What are you even doing up? The sun rose only a few hours ago. Shouldn't you be asleep?" he should be asleep. She knew that. If Eric was completely dead to the world, so should Godric. But he wasn't. Instead, he was scaring the living daylights out of her, making her think the fellowship had suddenly found her and broken into their hotel room. She didn't need to add another thing to her list of things to deal with. She already had nightmares and a weird Godric dream on her hands. She couldn't handle anything else.
"I heard your scream," he explained.
"I didn't scream," Mackenzie shook her head with furrowed eyebrows.
"You did."
"Okay so I probably did. But how did that wake you up? Eric's pretty much dead to everything in there," she motioned into the room. "How could you be awake and not him?"
"Eric still needed to heal. He is still weak from the bombing," Godric lied through his teeth. She did not need to know about their blood bond, not completely. He wasn't ready for that conversation yet. "You were having another nightmare, weren't you?"
She shifted uncomfortable. She didn't want to talk about this. "I'm fine, really. You can go back to bed. And try not to scare anyone while you're at it."
"Do you want to tell me about it at all? Talking about it might help," he offered.
She only shook her head, shifting from one foot to the other. "I just really want to not think about it."
He nodded in understanding. "Would you like some company?"
"Don't you have to sleep?" she questioned. "Eric would get the bleeds when he stayed up with me when I was sick. Won't you?"
He could already feel the blood rushing to his ears and nose, the pull back to bed so great that he nearly returned to the bedroom. But one glance at Mackenzie and he couldn't think about leaving her utterly alone during the day. He was old enough that he required very little sleep; he could go one day without resting.
"I'll be fine," he assured her. "I don't want to leave you alone. You look like you could use some company."
"I really would be fine," as awkward as it had been around Godric earlier, and even as awkward as it still was, Mackenzie still felt the usual draw to him. He had always made everything better in the past. Whenever she was scared or upset, he would be there with open arms. She wanted those years back. She wanted the simplicity. She wasn't going to let some silly dram get in the way of that. "You don't have to."
"I want to," he insisted. "Only of course, if you want me to."
Her shoulders sagged as her expression crumbled. "I could really use some company."
She didn't have to utter another word as Godric whisked her into his arms. The moment she was attached to him, the tears began to slip down her cheeks. She was just so exhausted of everything.
"Shh, sweet one, it's okay," he held onto her tightly. It killed him to see her in such pain. She had endured enough, and now whatever nightmares were haunting her, they were causing her even more grief. "I wish I could fix this. I wish I could take away your pain. It kills me that I cannot."
She clutched onto him. He was her safety net and he always had been. She didn't care about some stupid dream in that moment. It didn't mean a single thing. All that she needed right now was his comfort. That was all she ever needed.
"You're tired; you should try and sleep," Godric encouraged. Mackenzie was sprawled out across the couch with her legs resting in Godric's lap. She hadn't even realized she had placed them there, but when she had tried to move them, he only caught them and kept them captive. "I'll be right here, Mackenzie."
"I'm fine," she assured, though a yawn betrayed her. "I'm not tired."
He chuckled at her resistance. "You're exhausted, little one. Get some rest. I won't leave you."
"But if Eric wasn't able to battle away the nightmares, then you won't be able to either," she pointed out with her wayward reasoning.
"I can try," he laid a hand on her bare ankle. "Let me try, little one."
Mackenzie rolled her eyes as she set her head against one of the plush pillows. She did want to sleep, but she was still so worried about not only the nightmares, but having another dream like earlier. She couldn't risk it. Especially when Godric was sitting there, her own feet in his lap.
"Come on, my sweet. Rest," he urged, his hand beginning to slowly rise up and down her calf soothingly. He was trying to calm her fears, and he hated that his encouraging words and touches had already begun to help. "I won't let anything harm you."
She wanted to counter that he couldn't stop her own nightmares from hurting her, but was silenced as his hand began to rise even higher. He rested his hand on her knee, massaging it like an expert. She frowned at the action. This was helping a little too much.
"Godric," she began.
"Shh," he shushed her, shaking his head. "Just relax, Mackenzie. Relax and close your eyes."
"But I'm not going to…" she was interrupted as his fingertips began to dance their way from her kneecap to the mid of her thigh. She cursed herself for wearing such small shorts to bed.
But she hadn't.
She hadn't worn shorts at all. She hadn't changed. She had been wearing the same yoga pants that Pam had given her earlier.
But then, how was that possible?
"Just relax. Everything is going to be alright," he drew her legs open ever so slightly, his fingers prying her thighs apart. She jumped at his hand grew higher, trying to pull away. But Godric's other hand clamped down on her knee and squeezed, refusing to let her move. "Let me help you, Mackenzie."
"Godric, this isn't…" her mouth went dry as the tips of his fingers were pressing where no man had ever touched before. This wasn't right. He wasn't supposed to be touching her like this. It was wrong. He had helped raise her for half of her life. He had been there since the very beginning. Having him touch her in this way, it was completely wrong.
But why did it feel so damn good? Why did it feel like he was meant to have his hand settled between her legs?
Suddenly, and before she could even comprehend what was happening, her shorts were being pulled to her ankles, Godric appearing over top of her. She tried to push him off of her, or at least her mind tried to. Her hands were instead planted against his now naked chest in joy, rather than for him to stop.
"Godric…" she moaned as his fingers made quick work of her panties, ripping them right from her body.
"Let me take away all of your pain," he lowered his lips to her neck, a low growl sounded from the back of his throat as he nuzzled the curve of her neck. She could feel the scrape of his fangs and her lower region clenched. She didn't understand why she was reacting this way, but her body now had a mind of it's own.
"But this isn't right," her attempts to stop him were becoming more and more feeble as Godric's fingers began to coax her to relax. Her eyes fluttered close as his thumb found her bud of nerves, a moan sounding from her lips. "You're not supposed to…"
"This is exactly what I'm supposed to be doing, my love," his thumb's slow circling quickly changed to rapid rubbing. Her back arched, her body betraying her. She was slowly giving in and she hated herself for it. She should have been fighting him off, but she couldn't. The thought of this being any type of wrong was slowly fading away.
This just felt too damn good.
"That's it, Mackenzie," a finger was thrust inside of her. "You are mine now. You will relax for me."
"Oh god," she threw her head back. There was a fire burning inside of her as a second finger soon joined the first. She felt so out of control as she raised her hips to meet his thrusts. She shouldn't be doing this. She should call for Eric to stop his maker. But she couldn't. She was lost in the pleasure; pleasure that Godric was causing.
She was beginning to realize she didn't want it to stop at all.
But suddenly, as quickly as it had all began, the fingers had disappeared, Godric's lips no longer pressed against her pulsing vein. The room faded around her until her eyes flew open to find herself in a darkened hotel room. Mackenzie immediately scrambled to one end of the couch, her eyes growing wide as they darted around the room. She half expected to find Godric's naked chest, but all she found was an empty room.
It had all been a dream.
"Oh god!" the cry escaped her lips. She was horrified. How could she have dreamed such a thing? How could she have even enjoyed what Godric had done to her? Because she had enjoyed it, and that only made everything worse. "Oh god oh god oh god."
"Mackenzie?"
She yelped in surprise, throwing herself off of the couch as she twisted to find Godric stepping out of one of the bedrooms. His hair looked wet, and she guessed he had been in the shower. That thought, however, only led her to wish he hadn't been wearing clothes and instead just a towel.
"Oh god!" she cringed. What was she thinking? How could she be thinking that way? She was not supposed to be thinking that!
"Mackenzie? What's wrong?" he was before her in only a blink of an eye, clasping a finger under her chin before she could look away. "Was it another nightmare?"
Her heart was racing, her breathing coming out in sharp gasps. One single finger touching her and she was freaking out. All she could think about was what only a few of his fingers had done to her and she found herself unable to breathe. She was panicking. She was freaking out beyond belief. This was not supposed to happen. She would take a hundred nightmares over a dream about Godric.
"Calm down, Mackenzie, you need to calm down and relax."
That single word had Mackenzie pulling herself away from Godric, putting as much distance between them as she possibly could. She glanced at her own bedroom door, before at Godric, and then finally resting her gaze on the hotel room door. She needed to get out of there. She needed to not be in the same room as Godric. Hell, being halfway across the country wouldn't be enough space. She needed to think. She needed to clear her thoughts and erase that dream of Godric from her memories.
And she really needed to stop imagining what he would have done had she remained asleep.
She thought about running to Pam. She always knew how to take her mind off of things with her witty banter and her obsession to try and do something with Mackenzie's hair. But a glance at the time told her Pam would still be asleep. But what about Sookie? Yes, Sookie! Sookie would be perfect.
But where the hell was she?
"Where's Sookie?" Mackenzie blurted out, her hands beginning to shake at her sides. "Do you know where Sookie is?"
"Mackenzie, what's…"
"I really really need to know where Sookie is right now," she needed a girl to talk to. She needed someone who wasn't a part of her family to tell her everything was all right, that it was perfectly normal to have inappropriate dreams about someone who had helped raised her. Right now, the only person that could do that was Sookie. "Please. I need Sookie."
He couldn't understand why she needed the telepath or why she was panicking, but her pleading orbs made his chest tighten. "She's a floor down immediately across from the elevator. But Mackenzie…"
"I need to go," She darted towards the door, only for Godric to beat her to it, placing himself in her path. "Godric, please. I need to see her."
"Tell me what's wrong, Mackenzie. I can help you."
"N-no you really can't," she shook her head. "Please Godric. I'll go straight there. Everyone is still asleep; I'll be fine. Just please!"
"If you told me what was wrong I could…"
"I'm begging you Godric,"
He sighed as he glanced at Mackenzie's room, knowing there would still be a few hours before Eric rose. "Be back before sundown. If Eric learns that you left the room, he'll be furious."
"I promise," she eyed the door handle. She couldn't look him in the eye, not even as he tried to catch her gaze.
Realizing he could not bring any ounce of comfort to her, he slowly drew himself away from the door. Mackenzie was out of the room before he could even blink, darting down the hallway and to the elevator. He waited until she was safely inside the elevator before closing the door and leaning against it. His eyes fluttered close as he tried to control his unnecessary breaths. He had felt something while in the shower. Something had stirred from deep inside of him, but the panic and horror from Mackenzie had quickly replaced the feeling. But he knew. He had known the moment it had began to the moment it had finished.
She had had another dream.
He knew this would happen. He knew the consequences of giving her his blood. But he hadn't cared. She was dying; it was the only way. He could, however, only imagine how confused she now was. He should have just told her. He should have warned her. But he had been too afraid. He could still come clean, but he knew she would be furious. He didn't want to risk losing her, not again.
But what worried Godric the most, was that for those few short moments, the pleasure that had flowed through his veins had been unlike anything else he had ever felt before. And it was wrong. It was so utterly wrong. She didn't realize that he was just as guilty, just as ashamed for the sick pleasure he felt knowing she was having a dream about him. Because she was not to be thought about in those ways.
She was forbidden.
A/N: NOT EVEN GOING TO APOLOGIZE FOR THE SMUT. you're welcome. you are all very welcome.