Chapter Eighty Six: To Everything There Is a Season
Stephan and Vladimir had been first to leave of course, furious that there hadn't been a 'proper fight.' Ben and Tia had been quick to follow Amun and Kebi, though they seemed reluctant to miss the festivities. The nomads dispersed throughout the night, and by the morning the Amazonians were ready to leave too. I made a mental note to visit Zafrina more often - not that it would be a problem now that Nessie was around to draw her out of her beloved forest. The Irish were next. I asked them to tell Alistair what had happened: he had worried about having to hide under a rock for a decade, and I have a feeling that's exactly what he would have done had we lost. Fortunately, Liam agreed to find Alistair. Who knows, maybe he'd make a new friend.
Speaking of friends...it soon came time for the Denalis to leave. The solemnity of their faces now, standing at the door, was almost too much to bear, especially knowing that their sister had died defending us and that I had never been able to set things right between us.
"We're sorry to be leaving so soon, but we don't want to spoil the festive atmosphere," Tanya explained. Finding her resolve weakening, she turned to leave as she spoke. The other Denalis jogged towards the forest, eager to get home after their sad ordeal. But I couldn't let Tanya leave like that; so broken and dispirited.
"I'm sorry about Irina," I said, making her hesitate. Taking a deep breath, to gather herself, Tanya pressed something into my hands.
"Irina's death was not your fault, Carlisle," she assured me. "The bitterness between you was resolved in her last moments; you have nothing left to apologise for. We are just not prepared to celebrate with you in light of what has happened. I appreciate your joy; I do not resent that smile on your face. Siobhan was right; the Volturi will strike again with everything they've got. When they do, we'll stand united. Until they do, enjoy every moment with your family. You never know which might be your last."
Edward could have died that day. Or Esme, or Bella, or myself. It was a reality I had been determined to eradicate from my mind. For the Denalis, particularly Kate and Tanya, it was a reality that they might never overcome: without so much as an 'I love you,' their sister had been taken from them forever. The Denali sisters were connected, almost like three segments of the same organism. Irina's death had scarred them deeply, and may not ever heal...so much damage in only a few seconds. If I was smiling before, I certainly wasn't now. Both of us looked away from each other, flushed.
"I'm sorry. I was being melodramatic," Tanya said.
"I'm sorry you didn't get to say goodbye," I said.
"It's my fault," she sniffled. "I should have protected her. I should have protected her!"
An instant later, I was hit with the force of a train. Tanya's arms locked around my neck, and she sobbed.
"What happened to Irina was not your fault, Tanya," I told her, wrapping my arms around her and hugging her close to me. She continued to shake with sobs. I clung tighter, desperate not to let my own sadness mar the victory that had been achieved. "Terrible things happen to good people; Irina was a good person and she understands."
"Not my fault?" Tanya sniffed bitterly. "Oh, that's rich. I get all mad and jump out of line - Carlisle I nearly got us all killed. I was careless. All our sacrifices, including Irina's, would have been in vain."
"Rage is understandable, and the crisis was averted. Irina died valiantly, defending her friends. It is sad that it had to happen under such unfortunate circumstances, but don't you think she'd have rather gone out like that than withered paper-thin and lost all interest in this world?"
Tanya sighed and shook her head painfully.
"I just can't think of it like that at the moment," she explained, pulling out of my grasp. "I should go."
"You and your family need to be together," I agreed.
"You're my family too, Carlisle. Don't forget that. But for now your place is here. Celebrate, enjoy yourself. Come up in a few weeks, when you're ready. We'll wait for our whole family before we send her off properly."
"Thank you," I replied, taking a step back. I looked at the object in my hand; a sterling silver model of the Denali crest: a phoenix with its wings stretched up and open for all to see. It was a symbol of rebirth, ironically, but also one of majesty, valour and loyalty; very fitting for my dear friends. I smiled at Tanya and held the crest close to my heart. She smiled briefly and disappeared into the bushes, and I wandered back to the house with a warm smile on my face, running my fingers over the ridges that created the phoenix.
I tucked the Denali crest into my pocket and drifted through the house, taking my time to get to my study. I took a deep breath, and all manner of pleasant smells filled my lungs as I wandered over to a cabinet in the corner where I kept some of my most precious belongings. I carefully opened the door and set the Denali crest beside the Cullen crest, on the top shelf.
"They go together well," a familiar voice came from behind. I jumped and twisted simultaneously, almost breaking the cabinet door before I let go of it. Esme grinned, skipped over to me with a youth and energy I hadn't seen in her for a long time, and slid around me like a fox to press the cabinet door closed herself.
"Back amongst your books already, Doctor Cullen," she scolded, turning back to me with the facial expression of a teacher telling off a mischievous pupil. "Am I not interesting enough for you? What have your books got that I don't?"
"My dear, it is a question of what you have that my books do not. I'm afraid there is no contest."
I cupped her cheek in my hand and kissed her forehead. She shifted closer to me, a deep purr emanating from her throat. She shivered with delight as I ran my hand down her neck, then down her arm to her hand. I led her over to a settee in the corner and sat down on it with her, drawing her into my lap.
"I love you," Esme breathed, still purring quietly. After a moment of blissful silence she asked;
"Is Tanya okay? Are you okay?"
I replied in the form of a Bible verse; one I found to be very true to life. "To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven...A time to weep, and a time to laugh. A time to mourn and a time to dance."
Esme sighed and settled back against me, and I occupied myself running my fingers through her hair, twisting and twirling at will. A human couple might have fallen asleep like this. I found myself wondering what it would be like to wake up with Esme by my side. Sleepy-eyed, we would stare at each other as the morning sun poured in through the window...
"I could stay like this forever," I murmured into Esme's ear. She shifted, suddenly remembering something.
"Huilen and Nahuel stayed," she told me excitedly, twisting around so she faced me. "Alice told them about how much you loved stories. They said they'd be happy to tell you theirs. They'd like to be getting home soon, so I figured you'd want to talk to them as soon as possible."
I grinned back at my wife and both of us stood up. I bowed like a gentleman and kissed her hand.
"Lovely to spend time with you, Miss Esme. I'll get back to you as soon as possible. Don't wear anything too precious." I winked conspiratorially at Esme, who giggled. Next door, Jasper loudly cleared his throat. Esme rolled her eyes at the wall and began shoving me towards the doorway.
"Go on, downstairs with you, you rogue!"