Title: Faril Nin [My Huntress]
Author: Codi Lyn { iluvobiwan91
Genre: Romance, Angst, Hurt/Comfort
Rating: PG-13 – R (for descriptive battle scene/wounds)
Pairing: Orophin/OFC [Gwaeron]
Timeline: Begins before the Fellowship enters Lorien in Third Age 3018… concludes during Fourth Age 250
Chapter: 5/13
Chapter Summary: "What am I to do?" Her whisper was too quiet to disturb the calm of the woods surrounding her, but still managed to draw an answer.
Author's Note: I don't know quite what season it is when the Fellowship are in Lorien, and so there are a few changes in time-flow versus how things played out in the movies. Follows movie-verse, but I make a few references to things that happened in the books. But little things like these I have the license to play with, as the author. J.R.R. Tolkien and Peter Jackson have rights to the important stuff, this story is written purely for pleasure.
Chapter FiveThe Fellowship made their quiet goodbyes to Gwaeron and Véredhiel on the dawning of their departure, sadness tingeing every look at the babe as the halflings each took their turn holding 'Verry' while the mother made her own farewells. The lady ranger could hardly be consoled as she embraced Legolas and her brother once more, uncertain of their outcome. "Swear to me you'll live, Estel, that we'll see each other at the end of all this." Tears kept her from begging him in a voice any louder than a whisper.
He fingered through her curls familiarly. "Only if you promise me the same, Gwaeron. You must take care of yourself, not for my sake, but for Véredhiel's." His sister responded with a miserable nod before he pressed one more kiss to her temple and forced himself to turn away where lord Celeborn beckoned him.
The cheerless eyes of a bereft sister followed him a moment before turning away, wandering aimlessly until they connected with those of Boromir. He approached slowly, but with purpose, and stood before her in silent regard until the proper words finally came. "My lady, it is my wish to come to you when these things are brought to end… to ask leave to court you." The Captain wisely paused his speech to notice the trembling of her hands. "There are few certainties in such dark times as these, I do not know my fate. But I beg you to consider me."
Gwaeron stayed quiet until she felt some semblance of composure fill her to speak, her eyes lowering to his chest before daring to meet his hopeful gaze again. "You give me honor, Boromir, to make such a request." Her hands found each other to hold at bay the visible weakness in them.
"But…" His voice stained at the edges with bitterness.
She lifted her eyes to his and sought to convey the sincerity of her apology. "I can grant no promise, my lord, that is not mine to give. I pray for your protection as you go, but please, do not set your hopes on me." The kindness that had showed in his eyes moments ago now melted away to a cold indifference, but the Gondorian said nothing more, only nodding to her briskly before moving away back to their supplies. The lady ranger felt her expression crumple further in guilt and tears once more wet her cheeks.
Of the hobbits, Meriadoc and Peregrin came up to her with Véredhiel bouncing carefully in Pippin's arms. Gwaeron smiled sorely at the pair, trying to dispel the sadness in her countenance that theirs seemed to echo in kind. Pippin gave up the baby to her arms and landed a peck on the little rosy cheek before letting go. "We'll see each other again, miss. And you mustn't let Verry grow up too much before then, if you please."
The request made her laugh a little, squeezing a few more tears from her eyes that were not all miserable, and she dabbed at them with the back of her hand as she bent down to give both young hobbits an earnest kiss on the cheek. "I shall certainly try, Pippin, though I'll make no guarantees."
Recovering from his blush a bit more quickly than his cousin, Merry hooked his thumbs through his suspenders and managed a light-hearted remark. "Don't you worry for it, my lady. With mine and Pip's luck, she'll be twice our size in a month." The few of them shared smiles in farewell and then the Grey Company collected themselves and took the borrowed boats of Lorien to continue their journeys. Elven bards sang as they took their leave in the mist of morning and as the last stern disappeared down the river Gwaeron turned away from the gathering, trying not to hear each sorrowful tone of music ripple through her.
Véredhiel fell back to sleep as her mother walked, awoken for goodbyes much earlier than the child was used to, and through sufficient wrappings gave Gwaeron the warmth to stay out of doors while her thoughts raced. Images of those she cared for flew behind her eyes as her mind saw the hurt reflected in their faces: Rúmil, Ana, Legolas, Boromir, her brother, Orophin… Each pierced her with guilt as loneliness crept into her bones. "What am I to do?" Her whisper was too quiet to disturb the calm of the woods surrounding her, but still managed to draw an answer.
"There is counsel to be taken, if you would have it, lady Dúnedain." The voice, and soon the vision herself, of Lady Galadriel came forth in the clearing and approached with the grace ever-present in the monarch. "And you are not alone, Gwaeron, when there are so many who care for and love you. Yet you have not let them in. Why?" Moving to a living bench molded of mallorn roots, the Golden Lady beckoned the ranger to sit beside her.
Obeying the silent summoning, Gwaeron sat and adjusted the babe in her hold who now made a great yawn. Smiling, Galadriel shared a glance with her before moving to take the little one and cradle her fondly. The mortal woman seemed to glimpse the similar sight of long ago when Celebrian or Arwen curled resting in those same loving arms. "You see that I've held my share of elflings, child." She remarked with a side-glance of piercing bright eyes and a smirk.
Gwaeron bowed her head with a weary smile, acquiescing. "Yes, my Lady."
"You still do not answer my question." The silence was cut with her solemn reminder.
Sighing with the wretched feeling of tears returned to burn her eyes, the woman fidgeted with empty hands and glanced fruitlessly for any semblance of an answer to give. "Am I keeping them out? If I do, it is to keep them from the agony that fills me each night and day. If I let them in… to tell them of what I know, what I feel… it would do naught but bring pain unbearable." As she reasoned, the maiden's eyes were finally drawn in desperation to the high-elf beside her and seemed to plead for a way out of the torment fate was dragging her through.
Rising to her full height, Galadriel extended a hand to the young mortal to help her stand, leading her away. "Come, there is something your waking eyes must see." As they walked, Gwaeron found herself recognizing the path to the Lady's mirror, a place she had never fully entered for fear of what had been spoken in her youth. It was only a moment before the vine-sculpted basin came into view, its beautiful silver bowl already full with deceptively calm water. A chill crept over her skin.
Looking to where she had left the lady ranger a safe distance from her stand, the Lady regarded the Dúnedain for a moment before inquiring calmly. "Does it frighten you, daughter of kings? What does your thought anticipate?"
"I am—I am frightened to know I shall see him." The woman's voice trembled slightly.
Galadriel's head tilted to fan waist-long golden hair like a curtain around the child still in her grasp. "Does Orophin give you cause for such fear?"
"Not himself. Only, only what I know will happen if I…" The end of her sentence died in her throat.
"What has been shown to you, child?"
Shaking her head, Gwaeron broke the petrifying stare she had held upon the mirror, blinking hard and looking up at the elf Queen. "You ask, but already you know, don't you? Half the elves in Lothlorien have heard my grief in the night… But you know as I do they are more than just nightmares."
Galadriel granted a nod in answer before posing another question. "Why have you left him when you know he will die even without you?"
The words ran through the maiden like spear through her chest, causing her to seize with guilt as she explained brokenly. "H-he falls because I am there… because he sees me and loves me and, and it is my fault that he dies for loving me!" Gwaeron's body shook now with panic from this new perspective and felt her eyes pulled once again in the direction of the basin.
"Look into the mirror, Gwaeron. See for yourself." The offer was molded into a gentle command and she obeyed, taking step upon step until her starved and ill-treated reflection stared back at her.
Soon the water rippled and her eyes were full of Orophin holding Véredhiel for the first time, the babe's fist tight in his hair while his brilliant eyes shone up at her and at last Gwaeron recognized the look of a man deep in love. Her face burned when the scene shifted to their argument, her rejection, and she stifled a sob to see his face in those moments as though she were reliving them. Next were her visions, the battle played out as she had seen a thousand times until the differences regarding Orophin were made clear.
Her beloved fought tirelessly, but could not escape being caught at every turn by sword, axe, claw, and metals flying at odd angles. The wounds slowed him down until he appeared as a mortal man drawing his last breaths. Hunched over and stiff with pain, Orophin looked up to see an on-coming uruk run at him with sword drawn. 'Gwaeron.' He whispered to himself, watching his enemy come as time seemed to move as slowly as his pulse. 'Take care of what's ours, faril nin.' Forcing his legs to stand firm, his weapons now cast aside, Orophin turned his hands palm up and let the uruk's blade cut through his body.
Gwaeron staggered away from the mirror and fell hard on her knees as she cried out through trembling fingers. It was her fault. How blind had she become not to see that the blade would be welcome, that he would let himself fall… all for the loss of her love? Vaguely she heard the echoing cry of her baby, only for the sound to fade with the expert soothing of another experienced mother. That soothing presence was not long in coming to her side and Gwaeron felt a hand rest on her forearm.
Struggling to grasp at anything, the woman sobbed. "Even should I return to him, I put off his death only as long as my own life lasts. There is nothing I can do to save him from fading."
The Lady of the Wood smiled knowingly and set Véredhiel in the ranger's arms carefully as she spoke. "Do you believe you are the only one Orophin loves, Gwaeron? It is a man and woman who begin a family, but add a child and it extends that love further beyond merely the couple."
Watery green eyes moved to the innocent baby in her lap and were accompanied by a few weapon-calloused fingers stroking the sleeping face. A smile blossomed across Gwaeron's face as realization struck, blissful peace swelling in her chest. "Can it be I have held the answer so close this whole while, and only now understand?" The words were more to herself than anyone and her body calmed from its distress as she gazed down at the perfectly beautiful infant. Any doubt of Véredhiel's parentage now fled with the utmost clarity that she was she and Orophin's daughter. Gwaeron turned quickly to look at Galadriel. "I must go to him…"
"He is already gone, child. Orophin's watch on the borders was extended by his own request."
"Will you not allow me to go to him?" The ranger begged.
"Gwaeron, you do not realize your own weakness if you seek to make a journey such as this. My borders carry greater threat now even than when you came to us, and not a threat I would expose you to in your state." As if needing evidence to prove that her health was much the worse for wear, the Lady assisted her to stand and had to steady her in the simple task of finding balance. "You must recover your strength now for his return. The sleep you get now will bring the rest you've been missing all this time."
At her assurances Gwaeron felt a weight leave her as if a blanket of snow and ice had finally fallen away, leaving her wet and trembling, but finally growing warm. It was a feeling she so desperately wanted to share with Orophin.