Seems like things are heating up for our beloved doofus huh?
Anyone care to wager ther'll be a riot in this chapter too?
...on second thoughts don't bother, this is 2A, riots are second nature.
6th period.
Kuwabara looked down the corridor to ensure the coast was clear. No sign of either roommate in sight as he tiptoed towards the bathroom, hoping that this time he wouldn't be disturbed.
'Catch me once, shame on you.' He muttered, sighing as he let the hot water of the shower wash the midnight oil away in preparation for a new day. 'So this is what being a real tantei feels like…when did I get a rash on my-?'
"Kuwabara-sensei?" Chachamaru called out, staring calmly as the man in question let out a high pitched yell his vocal chords would regret later as he clung to the ceiling like a startled cat "I came to return the key for the bathroom, and have placed it in the lock for you."
"You…thank you." Kuwabara stammered, hyperventilating as he clung to the ceiling, embarrassed by her flat stare "Ano…not to be rude but…could you…?"
"Of course." The gynoid replied, catching the meaning behind the man's plight, "I apologize once again if I inconvenienced you."
'I'll say you inconvenienced me!' the man wanted to scream 'I probably lost a year off my life! How does she keep slipping under my senses?'
He settled for dropping back to the floor and resuming his shower, with the water alternating between scalding and freezing alternatively.
Downstairs...
"And the high school comedy continues." Eva noted with a smirk as Chachamaru passed her seat, before sipping at a coffee cup delicately "Did you scare a few inches off him?"
"Master?" the gynoid queried, turning to eye the grinning high-daylight walker in polite confusion.
"Most men that suffer a scare like that tend to 'shrink', if you catch my drift." The centuries old Lollita teased setting down her cup "Seems like a waste if what you're hinting is right."
"I didn't notice any shrinkage master." Chachamaru replied cryptically "He seemed a little larger hanging off the ceiling though."
"Eh? Ceiling?" Eva repeated, wondering if her servant was trying to be funny, only to be interrupted as Kuwabara stumbled down the steps, looking bar-broiled.
"Ohayo." He greeted, tying his ponytail up as he came down, dressed in a plain white suit pants with black shirt and red tie, which he was stubbornly trying to do up, the matching white suit coat over his arm. "Goddamn piece of silk, maybe I should switch to a clip-on."
"A gentleman must always look his best." Chachamaru countered, fixing the tie as before, earning a blink from the man "I wouldn't do to set a bad example by cutting corners."
Kuwabara blinked, before smiling embarrassedly down at the gynoid "I suppose you're right, Arigato, Chachamaru-san."
"Oi, lovebirds." Eva called out from the door, a faint scowl across her face as she eyed the flustered duo "We're going to be late."
Later...
'What the hell is up with Eva-san?' Kuwabara muttered, still embarrassed from the blonde's comment earlier that day as he made his way to class. Negi had passed him in the hall looking depressed and he made a note to check up on the boy later.
As it were, the minute he set foot in the classroom his hackles rose and it was only his swift reflexes that saved him from the rope trap set in the door. "What's the meaning of this?" he asked, only to duck as a net was hurled at him, followed by a plethora of ropes, chains and, to his mortification, undies, that he barely avoided. "WHAT'S GOING ON!" he all but bellowed, only to receive a flying kick to the back of the head that sent him stumbling face first into the floor, where he was promptly dog piled on.
'SHIT! Is that potion still in effect?' the tantei wondered as he was dragged to a chair and tied to it, noting that someone had been in the scouts before the shutters were closed and the lights dimmed, a flashlight shining in his face.
"Hello sensei." A cheerful voice greeted, revealing it to be Asakura Kasumi that held the lamp "Have you been a bad boy?"
"What in the hell are you thinking!" Kuwabara yelled, "Is this anyway for young women to act?"
"Are you really one to talk?" Asakura asked, leaning forwards, "So, have fun in the A.V room last night?"
'She was there?' Kuwabara gaped, 'Shit! Did she see the video? I thought only people with sixth sense could see it!'
"I don't know what you're talking about." He lied, only to blink as the paparazzi held up pictures.
"No?" Kasumi repeated, placing pictures of him and Botan before him "Then what were you two doing so clandestinely last night?"
"Yeah! Out with the goods!" Sakurako's voice called out from the shadows "Were you two watching a porno together?"
"Ooh naughty sensei!" Misa called out, as giggling erupted around the classroom, revealing that the entire crew was apparently here.
"Is that your girlfriend sensei?" Makie asked excitedly "She doesn't look any older than us! Is she a student?"
"Kuwabara-sensei!" came Ayaka's shocked voice "I…I thought you were a proper gentleman despite your appearance but for you to be acting in such a way-!"
"SHE'S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!" Kuwabara bellowed, actually shaking the room and knocking the closest girls off their feet by amplifying the yell with reiki.
'Impressive set of lungs.' Eva noted, her night vision giving her a perfect view of the man's flushed features as he took a breath to compose himself. Across from her, Sakurazaki Setsuna fought down the urge to let her wings burst out from the shock, the power in the sensei's yell chiming with her own chi in a very disconcerting way.
'Very Powerful' the half-bird tribe warrior noted warily, wondering if Asakura had perhaps gone too far, eyes widening as Kuwabara stood up, snapping the bonds around him with apparently little trouble.
"Alright," Kuwabara muttered darkly "A joke's a joke but this is going too far." He glared in the direction of Kasumi before calling out "Ayase-san, could you hit the lights please?"
'How'd he know I was closest?' Yue wondered, making her way to the switch and turning it on, bathing the classroom in light.
"Now first off." Kuwabara began "Let me assure you that there is NOTHING going on between me and the woman in the photo." He eyed the class sternly, silencing their questions with a look "She's just an old friend that stopped by for a chat."
"Then what was with the video?" Sakurako pointed out, a clamor rising up until he held up his hand.
"Did Asakura actually TELL you what was on it?" he asked snorting as everyone turned to eye the nervous reporter "It was nothing more than white noise, I happen to find it very soothing."
"Then…then…why didn't you watch it at home?" Sakurako asked, desperately trying to hold onto the fun for as long as possible.
"There is now viewing equipment at our lodgings." Chachamaru spoke up, startling the others "If Sensei had wanted to view the tape the A.V room was the logical choice."
The class was silent for a moment, before looking at Kuwabara nervously. "So there wasn't any saucy action?" the cheerleaders asked hopefully, their gossip material vanishing before their eyes.
"None." Kuwabara stated flatly, arms crossed and tapping his foot to shoe his ire. He smirked as the girls swallowed as one, save for the dark-skinned pair at the back, the pale Chinese girl, the one with her hair in a ponytail at the side and his roommates.
It was Ayaka who broke the silence, clearing her throat in embarrassment as she stood forward "Kuwabara-sensei…in light of the, circumstances, perhaps we all got a little carried away…I humbly apologize for the class."
"No problem at all!" Kuwabara replied, smiling at them, as they looked up at him in shock "It was all a misunderstanding, I should've been more careful, knowing how energetic you all are."
He let them raise their hopes a little, the proverbial choir and light shining behind him, before he turned his back on them and pulled out a stack of papers. "And since you're all so energetic, I think it's time for a pop quiz!"
'Damn no wonder Iwamoto was such an ass.' He noted, cackling madly on the inside as the classroom sunk into the depths of despair, several shooting murderous glances towards Asakura 'I think I could get to enjoy this!'
Elsewhere...
Negi sighed as he sat in his chair in the teacher's lounge, wondering if he should just throw in the towel when a large hand ruffled his hair. "What's up bozu?" Kuwabara greeted, setting down a stack of papers as he took his seat next to the boy "You look like your cat just died."
"It's hopeless." The wizard in training sniffed, startling the older man "I'm a failure as a magician and a teacher."
"What happened?" Kuwabara asked, and had to fight down a laugh as Negi revealed what had transpired that morning "Well of course she was pissed, girl's are pretty weird when it comes to silly things like their weight and bathing."
"I only wanted to help." Negi insisted, sighing in defeat, "But every time I try to use magic it backfires."
"So don't use it." Kuwabara replied, causing the boy to blink in confusion "Your test says you had to come here to teach right? Don't know about you but most teachers seem to manage without magic." He smiled at the boy "Try thinking about how to help her as a teacher, not a wizard."
"Help who?" Shizuna-sensei asked, startling the conversing duo with a warm smile "Ah Negi-sensei, Takahata-sensei wanted me to give you the after class session list for 2A."
"After class?" Kuwabara repeated, as Negi accepted the list, "you mean study sessions for students who flunked?"
"Pretty much, every now and again Takahata-sensei would give pop-quizzes," Shizuna revealed "Those who scored low stayed late for tutoring."
"Speak of the devil." Kuwabara noted, patting his own stack of papers "I just gave one today."
"May I see?" Shizuna asked, only to blink as she espied a folder in Kuwabara's handwriting on the top that read: 'Abandon all hope, all ye who mark these grades.'
"Lets just say they should be glad the local high school accepts them regardless of grades." Kuwabara stated with a guilty grin, he HAD been pretty brutal on the girls, but they HAD asked for it, putting him on the spot like that. He noticed Negi giggle at a picture of the usual suspects on Takahata's list.
"Asuna could certainly use tutoring." The welsh wizard agreed lightly, "But she'd never accept it from me."
"She never minded before." Shizuna noted with a smile, "Though back then it was Takamichi taught those so for you it'd be a different story."
'Takamichi?' Kuwabara noted, eyeing the well-endowed sensei carefully 'A little familiar are we? Looks like Asakura missed out on more than one scoop.' Shrugging it off he grinned, "Aw what the heck, lets do it bozu." He grinned at Negi "Between your smarts and my skills we'll have those girls acing tests before the week's up."
Negi smiled and clenched his fist "Hai, Kuwabara-san!"
Cue the new Ginyu force theme!
"Deep as the ocean," Kaede called out "Baka Blue!"
"Bright as the sun!" Ku replied "Baka Yellow!"
"Full of energy!" Makie greeted "Baka Pink!"
"Dark as Night." Yue Droned "Baka black...and Asuna's Baka red."
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A BAKA?" Asuna yelled, blushing in embarrassment as the others posed behind the desks, Haruna holding up a stereo with a theme song playing.
"Together we are:" Yue continued as if the redhead hadn't said anything "The Mighty Morphing Baka Rangers!"
Kuwabara and Negi merely stood there, as the scene died away, the sound of waves crashing in the background. 'What the hell?' was the thought the two educators shared, faces neutrally blank as they tried to come to grips with the bizarre sight before them.
"Pose successful." Yue noted, sipping at her juice carton, hot cola this time "We broke the enemies' minds."
"Whatever." Asuna huffed, shrugging her shoulders dismissively "I just have a lot on my mind that's all I'll make it to high school on my own…eventually."
"With grades like this you won't get far." Kuwabara cut in, his words stabbing into the redhead as he held up his test paper from that morning "Cripes, if Takahata saw this he'd rip his hair out."
"U-URUSEI!" Asuna shot back, spiking defensively "You sprung that on us! It didn't count!"
"But Asuna-san." Negi pointed out, looking over the sheet with a sweatdrop "You even spelt your name wrong."
Asuna flushed scarlet and hung her head in defeat as her 'comrades' patted her consolingly on the back, taking their seats as the two senseis began dishing out test papers. "Right, Now Kuwabara sensei and I are going to hand out a ten point quiz to start off." Negi instructed from the front "You can leave after you score at least six points."
"And no cheating off one another." Kuwabara added, smirking at them "It'd do no good if you all copied the wrong answer right?"
The two instructors took their positions at the front, taking it in turns to patrol the desks, Kuwabara shooting nervous glances at Haruna and Nodoka, the former of which was giving him the willies with that look in her eye. And was she drooling?
"Here y'go." Yue announced, snapping the lanky professor out of his thoughts, blinking at the clock, she hadn't even taken five minutes!
"S-Sugoi Yue-san!" Negi praised, marking the tests with a smile on his face "Nine points for both! Good for Yue…Erm…YOU Yue."
"You could smile you know." Kuwabara insisted with a smirk, only for Yue to look up at him with a kitty-mouth expression.
"This Is my smile." She said plainly, leaving the stunned instructors behind as Haruna and Nodoka joined her, the former sending Kuwabara hungry looks that made him shiver. He was snapped out of his thoughts by the arrival of Makie, Fei and Kaede, who handed up their papers eagerly. Their looks of eagerness shifted to looks of embarrassment as the two instructors gaped at their papers, not ONE got above five.
"Asuna-san? How's it going?" Negi asked, only for the redhead to hand over the paper in embarrassment; earning a double grade of 2.
"O-kay." Kuwabara sighed, pulling out some cards and shuffling them, "Lets try this a little differently, anyone up for a game?" he grinned at their looks of eager confusion "A friend of mine taught me this, it's good for concentration and perfect for group study."
He shuffled the cards and dealt them out evenly to the girls. "Now, everyone take a look and read the information on the cards, try to memorize as much as possible, then place them face down."
The girls did so, only for Kuwabara to pull out a card from random "Now, who can tell me past tense of 'READ'?"
"OH! OH!" Fei announced holding up her hand "It 'READ' yes?"
Kuwabara nodded, "Point to Ku-san! Nine more and you pass!" He handed half the deck to Negi who smiled and caught on.
Later...
"I have to admit that was a pretty good session." Kuwabara stated, as he and Negi waved at the departing girls from the steps "They certainly got into it huh?"
"Asuna-san certainly did." Negi noted "She said she wanted to do some more practice tests at home."
"God help us." Kuwabara joked, ruffling the Welshman's hair before turning on his heel towards home "Ja-na, Bozu!"
"Good Night, Kuwabara-san!" Negi called out, hurrying to catch up with Asuna, the redhead's longer stride meaning little to magic-enhanced sprinting. Kuwabara chuckled as the noise died away, before sighing and looking up.
"How long you gonna stay hidden?" he asked, glaring at the shadows, "And don't try the whole silent routine, I know you're there."
There was a hoarse rattle that probably passed as a laugh, and then something stepped out of the shadows. It was twisted, dressed in leather with spikes protruding from the skull and jawbone. A forked tongue extended to taste the air as it stood hunched over. "You're pretty sssssharp for a human." It hissed, voice crackling with malice "Not many can sssssense me if I don't want to be ssssseen."
"You're not exactly hard to miss." Kuwabara muttered, eyeing the serpentine creature in disgust "Don't you know the rules about making trouble in human world?"
"You're awfully well informed." The creature grit out "No matter, I'll just devour you firsssst…then maybe a little ssssschool girl buffet."
It lunged forwards, mouth open wide enough to swallow a man whole, only to gape as a shudder ran through it's body, falling to pieces even before it hit the ground, where it promptly began to dissolve.
"It'll be a cold day in hell before E-class scum like you can take down Kuwabara-sama." The tantei muttered, his Reiken humming lightly as he held it out to the side, before recalling it and making his way back to the cabin, the last remnants of the serpentine demon evaporating into thin air.
Looking on...
"Most impressive." Evangeline noted, "Though hardly worth the need to spy on him, that piece of trash couldn't have posed a threat if it attacked en masse."
Tatsumiya Mana nodded, unshouldering her rifle as she regarded the departing form of the sensei in interest. "He doesn't seem to want to use too much power on grunts." She noted "But even just from seeing that I could tell he has phenomenal control over his energies."
"He composed a blade out of pure aura." Evangeline noted, biting her thumb in interest as she spoke "That takes quite a bit of talent let me tell you."
Mana nodded, before turning and moving on to patrol the east side before heading home, Eva and Chachamaru deciding to get home before the sensei to avoid suspicion. "It seems Kuwabara-sensei should prove more interesting than we'd first imagined." The vampire noted, earning a silent nod from her ministra.
With Kuwabara...
Kuwabara paused as he walked along the path, wondering why he had the sudden urge to carry a crucifix and holy water about his person. Shaking it off and handing it down to the surrounding woods he blinked as a familiar tuft of blue descended from above.
"Not a bad first day." Botan greeted, nodding as she touched down "I caught the last bit of that encounter, Mukuro's been informed so there won't be a search party looking for him."
"That's a relief." Kuwabara muttered, he might be the strongest fighter of the old tantei team that was still human, but even he didn't value his chances against one of the three kings or her soldiers. "So did you just pop by to tell me that or did you come to shoot the breeze?"
"Both actually," Botan admitted, reaching behind herself and pulling out, of all things, an attaché case. "Ta-da! A gift from spirit world!"
"Where in the heck did you stash that thing?" Kuwabara muttered, sweat dropping as she grinned at him.
"A woman has her ways." She teased handing the cast to him "It's a little more advanced than the one Yusuke had, but most of the equipment inside's the same. Normally we only supply the equipment as the Tantei's power develops but in your case we made an exception."
"Sweet." Kuwabara noted, opening the case and eyeing the trove of reikai gadgetry within.
"The watch is actually a combination of the standard Yokikei and communicator." Botan instructed, pointing to a rather snazzy looking timepiece "Koenma felt the compact look was a bit silly for a man to carry around." She pointed at a pair of glasses "These are an adaptation of the Reito lens, they wont affect your vision and come with a special feature that can let you see through disguises."
"I feel like I'm in a spy movie." Kuwabara admitted, slipping the specs on and blushing as he inadvertently looked through Botan's clothes "GACK! TOO SENSITIVE!"
"EEE!" Botan shrilled, slapping him self-consciously "AH! Sorry Kuwa-kun! I forgot that you can adjust the settings by tapping the frame!"
"Tell me that in advance in future!" the embarrassed tantei muttered, blinking as he spied something familiar in the case "Hey! My Tameshi no Ken!"
"Koenma figured you should keep it on you in future." Botan noted, "True you don't really need it but having a weapon on hand is smart, and it DID help out against Elder Toguro."
"Don't remind me." Kuwabara muttered, shivering at the recollection of the sadistic, and seemingly immortal freak that had nearly killed him twice. Shaking himself he packed everything up and nodded "Thanks again Botan, see you around."
"Pleasant dreams!" Botan chirped, rising into the air "I'll tell Yukina you said hi next time I see her!"
That night Kuwabara slept well, dreaming of rescuing his beloved Koorime from atop a burning tower whilst wearing a tuxedo as the 007-theme-tune played in the background. For some reason Botan was piloting the escape copter, and the enemy soldiers had resembled his students in fatigues.
He didn't want to know why Hiei was stroking a fox with a rose in its jaws either.
Elsewhere...
"There!" Asuna exclaimed, holding out four sheets of paper confidently "You want ten answers right? You got ten answers right! Grade 'em yourself."
Negi did so, sweat dropping at the sight before him in disbelief and quite a bit of fear.
"Ten on one test Asuna." Konoka teased, voicing the words Negi couldn't bring himself to utter "Not on four added up."
Cue nadesico theme music.
Batter up!
It's time for battle!
Asuna: where's that voice coming from?
Oh No! the dark queens of the court have come to steal your youthful pashion!
Chisame: My WHAT?
Can the wizard and warrior of love defend the maidens from this threat?
Next time on reikai sensei Kuwabara; passion on the battlefield!
Nodoka: Ano...it's only dodgeball...
R&R or you'll make Chibi-nodoka cry!