one man...one boy...and a whole lotta highschool girls...
...perverts...get your minds outta the gutter...
From the minds of Akamatsu-sensei and Togashi-sensei...
Kyugan productions proudly presents...
Reikai Sensei Kuwabara!
7th period.
The demon wailed as a focused blade of reiki beheaded it, killing it and dissolving the body so no remnants could be found. Kuwabara grunted and recalled the blade, checking his watch to make sure there were no more before heading towards the campus.
'Man, including the one last week there's been four demon sightings in all.' He frowned at the thought 'sure they never turn out to be more than E-rank trash but what the hell is that baka-chibi doing?'
In demon world...
A diminutive swordsman sneezed, blinking as the demon next to him handed him a large handkerchief. "I'll pass." He muttered, eyeing the massive nose on the beast and shuddering. He didn't want to know just how many times it had been used.
Back to Mahora...
Sighing the tantei made his way back to campus, blinking as the sound of laughter and cries echoed out from the lawns, where last he checked recess was in session. "HE'S SO CUTE!" several shrill cries announced, a familiar feeling of doom settling in the lanky professor's stomach as he made his way toward the source.
Sure enough several girls in St. Ursula High uniforms were currently flocking around a rather frantic looking Negi Springfield, rubbing against him and feeling him up in ways that would make harem manga artists weep for joy. Negi seemed to be on the verge of tears as well, though more likely out of exasperation than any form of joy.
Kuwabara was just about to step forward when a volleyball belted one of the older girls on the noggin, causing her to turn round and glare at the culprits, Asuna and Ayaka. "This fields reserved for 2A's use." 2A's class rep stated primly, a smile on her face as flowers bloomed behind her "You girls have your own hangout, so take off, don't make us get violent."
"Tough talk for a toddler!" one of the seniors yelled out, Ayaka rising to the bait only to be shoved aside by Asuna.
"There's no 'we' here." The redhead boasted, looking annoyed, either at the situation or Ayaka, "I'll kick your asses single-handed…footed…whatever!"
"I'm shaking in my stylish shoes." The apparent ringleader taunted coyly, "Kagurazaka Asuna and Yukihiro Ayaka…you talk tough but your junior high rep means squat to high school girls like us." She smirked "We run things around here. We GO where we want, Do what we want…to WHOMEVER we want, got it, Asuna?"
Asuna grimaced, only to gape as the brunette rubbed her cheek against Negi's teasingly, much to the boy's mortification.
"And right now we want to do things with cutie here." The ringleader taunted, smirking as Ayaka snapped and marched forwards, only to blink as a large hand settled over her shoulder, gripping it gently, but undeniably firmly.
"I think you've said more than enough." Kuwabara stated simply, the look in his eyes silencing Eiko's protests and chilling the other seniors with its coldness. He felt a little guilty about using his 'Game face', which had been known to scare off Yakuza members and demons that knew his rep, but it was either that or use force, and he couldn't bring himself to hurt women, even ones with attitude as rotten as this.
"Now I suggest you all go back to your allotted area until the end of break." He muttered, eyeing the seniors to make sure they paid attention "And if I find out you've been causing trouble for my students again, let me assure you that there WILL be repercussions."
The seniors nodded as one and left, a little too quickly to be seen as gracious, leaving Kuwabara to help up a flustered Negi and dust him off. "You okay Bozu?" he asked, checking his colleague over carefully "You really know how to pick 'em huh?"
"I can't help it," Negi moped, looking depressed "They just seem to flock to me…DAMN MY CHARISMA!"
Kuwabara chuckled and patted the distraught ten-year-old on the back "There, there, once you get past puberty you'll be thinking otherwise."
"I dare say he will." Takahata noted with a chuckled, making his way over to the duo with a smile "Expertly handled Kuwabara-sensei, and Negi-kun? Don't let it bother you too much, a little more experience and you'll have things down pat."
Negi smiled up at his colleagues and nodded, wiping his eyes and following them back to the teacher's lounge, where Shizuna sensei looked up, troubled. "Ah, Takahata-sensei, Kuwabara-sensei, Negi-kun." She greeted "It seems that Tendo-sensei had to be taken to hospital, seems she suffered a heart attack!"
"Tendo? She the short one with the temper?" Kuwabara asked, earning a wince and chuckle from Takahata.
"She's a little highly strung." The older sensei pardoned, lying through his teeth. Shizuna-sensei was the only one who could put up with Tendo-sensei, and that was only because the woman had the patience of Buddha himself, and was friends with Tendo's less violent eldest sister. "I've suggested she be transferred to a facility that suits her better."
"Like the state penitentiary." Seruhiko-sensei opined, earning a snort from Ayase-sensei and a frown from Nita, though the 'Oni' secretly agreed with the bishounen's sentiments.
"Anyway," Shizuna continued "Without her we need someone to sub for 2A's gym class until a replacement can be found."
"I'll do it." Negi volunteered, thinking a nice bit of outdoor sports was just what the doctor ordered "I'm not too busy at the moment."
"Then could you wait for them on the roof court?" Shizuna asked, smiling encouragingly at the boy "It's volleyball, try not to get hit."
Kuwabara blinked as his watch started to chime, cursing as he made an excuse and left the staff room to exterminate the threat, Negi leaving for the roof courts.
With 2A...
"This schools getting WAY overcrowded," Yuna opined, as 2A made their way towards the roof "That's the big problem."
"Recreation space, Workspace, Study space," Ako noted with a sigh "Everything's in short supply."
"Totally." Makie agreed, only to pull up short as Asuna stopped in the doorway, gaping in shock at the figures on the court.
"Hello ladies." Eiko greeted coyly, a volleyball held in her hand "Fancy meeting you here."
"High School class 2D!" Asuna barked, Ayaka at her side as she they glared at the seniors "What are you doing here?"
"We have a free period now," Eiko noted with a smile, tossing the ball in the air "So we're playing volleyball."
"We have Gym Class now!" Yuna exclaimed, looking both annoyed and nervous at the sight of the older girls.
"It seems we're double booked then." Eiko teased, smirking coyly at them again and setting off Asuna's fuse, only for the redhead to blink and gape at a struggling figure held captive by a pair of giggling seniors.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON THEIR SIDE NEGI!" Asuna bellowed, righteous fury in every syllable.
"I was supposed to sub for your gym teacher when these amazons jumped me!" the frantic Welshman wailed, his arms flailing in protest as the girls nuzzled his cheeks "Help me! They keep saying weird, improper things!"
"First come first served ladies." Eiko cut in, a delicate smirk on her face "We got here first, so we're going to serve ourselves up a little piece of cutie-sensei here."
"SHE'S HISTORY!" Ayaka shrieked, several classmates having to hold her back as she struggled to get at Eiko. Nobody seemed to notice the translucent set of horns the senior seemed to be sporting.
Elsewhere...
"Dammit, where is it?" Kuwabara muttered, looking around in disgust "I thought this thing was supposed ta track down any demon within range?"
"It does." A helpful voice pointed out, Kuwabara looking up to espy Botan sitting on a tree branch, wearing a school track suit "Yoo-hoo!"
"You cosplayin' or somethin'?" Kuwabara asked dumbly, watching as the bluenette leapt down with the grace of a cat to land before him.
"Standard procedure for a detective's assistant." Botan reminded him "I used to wear your schools school uniform when I visited there didn't I?"
"Oh yeah." Kuwabara noted, grinning at the memory of how Yusuke would always try to guess her sizes "Suited ya too."
"Flatterer." Botan teased, looking a little chuffed as she walked up to him "Anyways, its an old friend of ours, or rather Yusuke's." she held up a picture that showed a scrawny little troll in a prison outfit "Jiaki, a demon that burrows into people and controls them."
"Ugly little thing." Kuwabara muttered "But since I don't recognize him he's gotta be E-class right?"
"Bingo! Lowest of the low, but once he takes root he's very hard to find." Botan agreed "He may have infiltrated the school and is causing trouble as we speak."
Dodgeball match...
"Eiko's acting a bit weird." One of the other seniors noted, wincing as the leader of the Black lilies cackled as she sent another member of 2A out with not-so-minor bruising.
"Yeah," the other agreed "I mean I'm all for putting the brats in their place but this is going too far."
"You see what happens when you try to play grown up?" Eiko taunted, smirking superiorly as she tossed the ball in her hand "Stick to the sand box brats, leave Negi-sensei to us."
"Yeah right you old hag!" Asuna snapped, raring to go as always "We haven't lost yet! Try not to bust a hip!"
Eiko growled and leapt up, holding the ball into the sun before slamming it down on Asuna's side, HARD. Just as the redhead was getting up however, a second shot caught her on the side of the head.
"FOUL!" Negi called out, holding out a hand as he ran to his student "What are you thinking? Is this anyway for young ladies to behave?"
"But sensei," Eiko moaned, pouting coyly "She called me an old hag! What was I supposed to do?"
"You didn't have to hit her head!" Negi insisted, feeling nervous at the hungry look in the older woman's eye. He wasn't certain but he was fairly sure they seemed glossed over, as if she was in some sort of trance. Even her teammates had looked shocked when she'd struck Asuna. "I'm calling this off! Everyone to the Deans office immediately!"
"But sensei-!" Eiko moaned, tilting her head "We were only having a little fun, can't you let it go?"
"No, you injured one of my students and have been bullying the others for quite some time." Negi stated, swallowing to retain his nerve "I've tried dealing with it like a gentlemen, now I see I should have handled it like a teacher."
Jiaki glowered, Eiko's face twitching spasmodically as Negi turned his back on them, 'This is bad.' the parasite muttered, 'if that old fart senses me I'm road kill…gotta make a distraction and hit the silk.'
Grinning, the demon espied the ball as it rolled near Eiko's foot, picking it up and prepping for a launch.
"Are you alright, Asuna-san?" Negi asked, supporting the dizzy redhead with his shoulder, only to blink as Nodoka cried out a warning. He turned slightly to gape at the volleyball that was inches from his head, eyes shutting as he braced for the impact…that never came. Blinking he opened his eyes to gape at the hand that had appeared in front of his face, gripping the volleyball even as steam came off it from the velocity.
"Yare-yare," Kuwabara muttered, not taking his eyes off the stunned Eiko "Problems in paradise bozu?"
"Kuwabara-san!" Negi greeted, staring up at his taller colleague in amazement "When did you get here?"
"Few seconds ago." Kuwabara replied, eyes locked onto Eiko's face, or more accurately the horns set above it "Seems you girls don't take well to discipline."
"Who asked you old man?" Eiko shot back, unnerved at the intensity of the instructor's glare
"Yeah!" another girl catcalled "Why don't you go take up shuffleboard before you bust a hip you Yakuza reject!"
"Botched face baboon!"
"Lanky macaque!"
BANG!
Everyone jumped, several girls gaping in shock at the remains of the ball in Kuwabara's hands. The Professor had popped it like an overripe grape.
With Evangeline...
'Hoh?' Evangeline noted, quirking an eyebrow at the sight 'Seems Kuwabara-sensei has a bit of a temper problem when it comes to his looks.' She shivered at the suppressed power coming off the man, noting the concerned look on the faces of Setsuna, Mana and Chao.
They could all tell that the man was fighting the urge to lash out, and from the looks of things if he did, bruises would be the LEAST of the seniors' worries.
Kuwabra's POV...
Kuwabara exhaled, getting his temper under control before locking gazes with Eiko. "Ako-san." he called out, startling the blue-haired girl "Please see to Asuna-san's injury." As the girl hurried to do so he continued "Negi, what say we teach these girls a lesson?"
Negi blinked, nodding nervously as he pulled up beside Kuwabara who was removing his coat and tie as he spoke.
"Rules are simple." the elder Sensei called out, handing the items to Chachamaru who took them to the sidelines "Me and Negi versus all of you, you win and we do whatever you want." His eyes narrowed, "You lose, and you do whatever we tell you to do."
A burst of whispers broke out on both sides, 2A looking at their senseis in concern whilst 2D sized them up like prize cattle.
"Hm, a cutie and a stud," Eiko noted, smirking as she regained her confidence, "Fine, but if we win Negi comes with us…and you become our servant."
"Deal." Kuwabara replied, eliciting a chorus of gasps as Negi looked up at him in concern.
"Kuwabara-san please." The ten year old insisted "This is my problem, don't put yourself at risk for my mistakes!"
"This isn't your problem bozu." Kuwabara replied, smiling grimly "These little brats are just well overdue for a lesson in manners." He smirked at the boy "And what d'ya know, that's just what we specialize in."
Negi blinked, before setting his face and nodding confidently, turning to face the black lilies as they lined up.
On the sidelines...
"Do you think they stand a chance?" Nodoka asked nervously, looking to Yue for confirmation.
"Doubt it," Yue deadpanned "Those guys are good, but all Negi-sensei's done so far is dodge, and Kuwabara-sensei doesn't strike me as the fast type."
"You'd be surprised." A bubbly voice pointed out, "Kuwa-kun's only been second to one other person when it came to sports." They looked up to espy a blue haired girl in a tracksuit smiling down at them from the fence "Hi!"
"Ano…who are you?" Nodoka asked, flushing nervously at the girl, why did she look so familiar?"
"I'm Botan." The bluenette replied, swinging down to land next to them with an energetic smile "I'm, er, a transfer student." She waved a way the questioning glances, "Anyway, Kuwa-kun's no slouch when it comes to sport."
"You know Kuwabara-sensei?" Yue asked, causing the ferry girl to flinch "And you seem pretty familiar too."
"You're the girl from the A.V Room!" Asakura pointed out, a camera appearing in Botan's face "What's the scoop? Are you two lovers? What's he like? Have you done IT yet?"
"EEEEEEP!"
Back to the match...
"Take this!" Eiko yelled hurling the ball at the duo, only for them to leap aside at the last minute, "Go Triangle attack!"
The other two nodded, bouncing the ball off their hands whilst trying to nail either Kuwabara or Negi. The young mage used his abilities to enhance his reflexes whilst Kuwabara seemed to be sidestepping the ball as if he knew where it was going to come next.
On the sidelines, the members of 2A watched in amazement as their senseis ducked and weaved, several of the Black lilies being caught in the crossfire and being sent out, until only the leading three were left.
"How're they doing that?" Asuna wondered, gaping at the sight in awe "Are they just really lucky?"
"Negative." Chachamaru countered "Kuwabara-sensei is deliberately placing himself in front of members of the opposing team in such a way they are caught off guard, especially when he blocks their vision of the ball, preventing time to react." She nodded, "Meanwhile, Negi-sensei is a smaller, faster target, and thus much harder to hit. By utilizing this technique they can take out the most opponents whilst expending the least amount of energy."
"You're kidding right?" Asuna deadpanned; sweat dropping at the sight of the haggard looking opponents. True enough those members that remained were breathing hard and doused with sweat. Negi was only breathing lightly whilst Kuwabara hadn't even worked up a sweat, which was impressive considering he was wearing a black shirt in the noon sun.
In the end there were only the three primary members of the Black lilies remaining, the other two on their knees gasping for breath whilst 'Eiko' glowered at them angrily. "What's wrong?" Kuwabara called out, cleaning his ear with his pinkie, "That all you got? Man, I thought you girls were champs or somethin'…"
"Don't…count us…out!" 'Eiko' panted, gripping the ball tightly as she smirked, prepping for a launch. 'This bastard thinks he can outsmart me can he?' the possessed human snorted 'Lets see how he dodges a blow from the sun!'
"Take this!" the possessed senior yelled, hurling the sphere into the air and leaping up after it "Death Blow: Sun Atta-!"
A shadowy form loomed over her, eyes widening as she realized that she was staring at Kuwabara's chest, the man having leapt up after her, and actually passing herin mid-air.
Sidelines again...
"NO WAY!" Ako gasped, eyes widening at the sight of the lanky professor hanging in mid-air "Kuwabara-sensei's like 6ft 5! And he's gotta weigh more! But he just jumped his own height in the air!"
"Like I said." Botan pointed out with a catlike look on her face "You really shouldn't doubt Kuwa-kun."
Ako's POV...
'Im...impossible!' Eiko gaped, feeling as if she were standing before a giant 'He…surpassed my jump?'
Jiaki flinched, his control over the girl's body slipping as her brain tried to comprehend what she was seeing. As he fought for control he felt Eiko's awe as she looked up at the man, who was gazing down at her with a solemn expression.
"Sorry 'bout this..." Kuwabara offered, looking into her eyes with an apologetic expression "You might wanna brace yourself."
That was all the warning the possessed human received before what felt like a missile rocketed past her, ramming into the ground as she landed on her buttocks, stunned.
Everyone gaped in shock at the ball that had been embedded in the ground of the court just between Eiko's legs. It was still rotating, and steam was coming off it made it clear that it had been going QUITE fast when it hit.
"You can call that that one:" Kuwabara spoke up, standing over the girl with one hand in his pocket as he pointed at her with the other "Kuwabara-style: Ten-Dama."
Eiko gaped in shock, before passing out, the last thing she remembered being Kuwabara's face gazing down at her.
'Kuwabara…sensei…'
As the dust settles...
Kuwabara watched as the Black lilies swept towards their fallen captain, face grim as he felt Jiaki struggle in his grip. He'd grabbed the little bastard as he tried to jump ship in mid-air, stuffing him into his pocket whilst channeling enough reiki into his fist to make it a VERY uncomfortable experience.
"Right, I do believe that's our win," he spoke out, the lilies looking up at him in shock, and a little fear "So as punishment, I want you girls to apologize to 2A and promise never to act like this again, if you want to practice I suggest you book time at your own court."
The lilies, shocked at getting off so easy, nodded and did as they were told, skulking off with their heads bowed demurely. No sooner had they done this did Kuwabara sigh and smile at Negi tiredly "Rough day huh?"
"Very," Negi agreed, the two sharing a brief chuckle before being beset by the denizens of 2A, who were singing praises of their victory.
The next morning...
Kuwabara entered the staff room, ready to start another day of fun and excitement, only to blink as Negi's yell echoed around the room.
"NO I DON'T WANNA BE DODGEBALL MASCOT!" the Welshman insisted, looking terrified at the very idea. The Black lilies were about to insist when Eiko caught sight of the lanky Professor.
"Something wrong here Bozu?" Kuwabara asked, only to blink as several starry eyed schoolgirls rushed towards him, hands clasped to their bosoms.
"Kuwabara-sensei!" Eiko called out, a flush on her face that unnerved the man "Your performance yesterday was magnificent! Please consent to be our new coach?"
"Please teach us sensei!" the rest of the lilies insisted, clamoring forwards all starry eyed and eager to please. "Negi-sensei too! You'd look so cute in the outfit!"
Takamichi laughed as the duo ran screaming down the halls, the Black lilies in hot pursuit. "Looks like they're working out rather well." Shizuna noted with a smile, to which Takamichi merely chuckled.
"Seems that way indeed."
Cue the Nadesico music.
The battle is won!
Ako: Um...what battle?
But what's this? A frightful spook haunts the hallowed halls of the establishment!
Narutakis: EEEH?
Worry not fair maidens, the principle knows just who to call!
Makie: Ghostbusters?
Next time on Rekai Sensei Kuwabara; life is fleeting!
Sayo: Ah! Were'd that voice come from?
No reviews make Chibi-nodoka cry...make her cry at thine own peril.