Title: We are what we pretend to be
Author: landofthekwt
Rating: PG-13
Prompt: Monster (Inuyasha Themes Week
Word Count: 750
Pairing: Sesshoumaru/Izayoi (unrequited love)
Genre: Puppy love
Warning: Character death
Summary: Sometimes we are never rewarded for what we do
A/N " We are what we pretend to be ...." is a line from Mother Night by Kurt Vonnegut,Jr.
He had to stand impassively at the gate as she beat her fists against his chest and screamed
"Monster"
He could not allow her to stay at the Western Shiro. His mother had warned him not to allow her to stay, but that was not the reason he refused her entry to his home.
"Monster"
Her agents were everywhere. The price on her head was high enough that even his most trusted advisors were willing to risk his wrath to claim it.
"Monster"
His heart was breaking as she cried. To her his actions were a betrayal. A betrayal of the promise he had made to his father to protect her. A betrayal of the love he claimed that to have for her.
"Monster"
He knew his enemies were waiting for a sign that he was betraying the inuyoukai for the love of human as his father. But that was not the reason he refused entry. He knew that she would not survive the coup which was being. She would become a symbol for the rebellion and would be its first casualty.
"Monster"
Her appeal to save her son did not move him. It was not Inuyasha that he loved. He saw too much of his father in the boy. Any favor he showed toward the boy would only doom him. Why cause the boy further pain? His name was already spoken with bitter vile in court circles. His aid would only convince the rest that his mother had been right in signing his death warrant.
"Monster"
She did not understand. How could he refuse to aid his own flesh and blood? She did not understand the dangerous ground on which she was treading. Her own kin had thrown her out. Her actions in having a son with youkai had ruined their alliances and tainted their line forever.
"Monster"
The Western Shiro was too close to the Shimazu and Satsuma. Her family was bent on cleansing her taint. Satsuma was interested only in revenge on her for what had happened to Takemaru. He had been the bright hope of both families. Her life and her sons life were blots on their honor which both houses wished to erase.
"Monster"
She hated him every step of the way to Kamakura. She heard only the screams in dark as she cowered by the fire. She did not the giant dog which protected her by vanquishing all that came against her.
"Monster"
When she arrived at her cousin house in Kamakura, she was surprised to see her grandmother there as her advocate. Her cousin, the regent welcomed her with open arms. So different from the man who claimed to love her. They were human, and they would protect her. Not like a certain youkai.
"Monster"
What she did not see were the threats he made against the Hojo to receive. The promises he made to protect her from the wrath of her mother. For six long years he was able to protect her there.
"Monster"
His mother had finally been able to break through his defenses by employing human agents. All he could do was to save her from the inferno and the suicide of the Hojo. Did she thank him?
No, she asked to see his mother to ask for her protection. She had already given up on him.
"Monster"
Although he did not accompany her, he still watched over her. Saw her driven from village to village Saved her unknowingly from many a human mob. To her he was no better than them.
"Monster"
He had been with her in her last moments. Watched her run to his father instead of staying with him and her son. Leaving him to bury her and watch over the boy in his death vigil.
"Monster"
As he watched the boy leave, he reflected that maybe she was right. He had never told her how he felt. She never knew what he had done for her. In her eyes he would always be the person who was supposed to protect her who had refused her in her hour of need? He had never disabused her of that notion. How was she to know otherwise? His penance was to stand silently at the grave of the woman he loved knowing that to her he would always be a monster.