Devil Takes the Hindmost, chapter 12

A/N: I AM SO SORRY, GOD. I haven't had time to write, also, I'm sorta stuck. I wrote this awhile back, so here ya go! SORRY IN ADVANCE IF IT'S TERRIBLE

BEATRICE'S POV:

Pounding noises. Blinding light. Unnatural contact. That's all I can register as I make my way through the exposed and stuffy crowd. Christina's hand on my shoulder is long gone, and I'm worried for myself. Last time I saw her, a handsome senior was offering her a red beer cup. Winking at me, she takes it with ease as if she's done it a thousand times before. Alcohol was something I had yet to understand.
Pushing my way through a group of scantily clad sophomores, I end up at the very edge of the house. I stand in between a pair of French doors, opened wide to let in the cold night air. Its' cool winds skim my skin as I walk out, fresher air entering my lungs. I take a deep breath, as I gaze into the pitch black sky over me. Rarely are there any stars that could be seen, but the backyard seemed to stretch for miles. The emerald glass gleams under the crystals in the sky that shine so brightly. Ahead of me, the lawn stretches for yards. A pool is sunk into the ground, neon lights beaming up from the bottom of the pool, creating an impossible stream of light shining in the sky. Trees are placed here and there, the branches perched with birds of all sorts. I walk a few feet, before settling into an abandoned lawn chair. Here, everything is quiet. Fresher air and clearer skies are a rarity here in Chicago. The country is where I'm most at home, and here, where the noises of the party are dimmer and the stars shine so brightly. I am at peace for the first time since I've left Maryland. I close my eyes for a moment, wind knotting my hair and dressing it up, and feeling the emotion I've been deprived of ever since leaving home. Happiness…

"You doin' alright, Tris?"

I groan mentally. I should've known this wouldn't have lasted so long. The peace I felt flitters away and I'm sucked back into harsher reality. Turning around, I see the devil himself, Tobias Eaton. Anger floods inside of me, as I stand and approach him, not getting too close. I've had enough of this bastard…he's embarrassed me, hurt me, and lied enough. I was sick and tired of him, and I was ready to scream and shout. Just let it all out.

"Why can't you leave me the hell alone?!" I ask loudly, my hands clenching into fists. My first encounter, every encounter with him since suddenly replays, as I stare into those eyes. The eyes of a coward. "I'm so fucking sick and tired of you! You're suck an asshole and I swear you have nothing-"

"You're hot when you're mad."
That one comment suddenly makes my brain blink out. I stutter out something real intelligent. "Wha-?"

"I said, you're really hot when you're mad." Tobias smirks, stuffing his hand in his jean pockets. "And I um, I'm sorry…"

"Oh don't give me that bullshit-"

"I am, Tris." He says with sincerity I've never heard. "I'm sorry about embarrassing you, and I'm sorry about the dodgeball game and Allison and-" he suddenly stops and looks up at the sky, scratching the back of his head. I can see beer stains on his sweatshirt, and sweat on the palm of his hand. He seemed nervous. That's unusual. The Tobias Eaton…nervous?

After a moment, he looks back at me, and I can see in his eyes he's being honest. "You're just so fucking cute and pure, and so fucking strong…" he takes a step closer, shortening the distance between us, "Everything I can't be. I'll never be."

"Please don't give me that bullshit."

"Wha-?"

"You think you can fucking fool me? You think some pathetic bullshit apology can fix all you've done? SORRY doesn't fucking cut it you asshole-Oomph!"

I'm cut short when he suddenly lands his lips onto mine. My eyes are wide as he wraps his arms around my shoulders, and I struggle madly. His kiss suddenly becomes wilder, pressing me up against one of the trees in the backyard, his hands running through my hair. He moves with passion, with intensity. But then, I find the wildest thing of all. I don't struggle. I don't thrash around, and try to free myself. I completely submit. My arms wrap around his shoulders, as I feel him smirk slightly into the kiss. I pull him closer, omitting any space in between the two of us. All my thoughts of anger and despair suddenly disperse. He's making them fade away with his intimacy. This time, I let him

When we both run out of breath, he brings me close, and presses his forehead to mine. No words, no declarations of love…what is this? I loathed him. Hated him. Despised him. Tobias Eaton had been the bane of my existence…How did this change so quickly? How did my hatred fail…?

"You're dangerous." I mutter in the silence. His hands are on the back of my neck, holding me close. I can hear him breathing heavily and I close my eyes. "Tris…of all the hell I've gone through to get at you…" he chuckles, his voice breaking, nearly every syllable echoing desperation. "And you choose dangerous?"

"Well, we're dangerous people."

"And?"

"And, well…" I mutter, stumbling over my words. All this time I thought I had hated Tobias Eaton…it was all a lie. I was angry at myself, because I didn't understand this feeling…so much beauty in the feeling of love and lost and joy and sorrow, and every other in existence. Where all you need is one other person to be complete. It's beauty unseen, but brings disaster to all who choose this fate. To love is to lose.

"There's a fine, fine line…" I say quietly, "between hatred and love…"

"Then I guess you're my salvation?" Tobias asks, a smile returning to his face in the dim darkness. Even in the night, I can his smile gleaming in the night shadows.

"No," I reply, my mouth curving into a smile like his, "I'd settle for being your damnation."