A/N: Hello Everyone! I know it's been a long time since I posted anything for this story. I'm sorry. I had some pretty rough years since 2010. I started and graduated from college, started and ended a relationship, found a career job, dealt with a mild depression, and struggled to find motivation. But now the fog in my life has been lifted and I have 11 chapters planned to finish out this story. For those of you who have been following all along, thank you for sticking with me and finishing out this novel. For those of you just joining, I promise you won't have to wait for an ending as long as everyone else did.
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Keiko/Keitaro
With Mama gone, I had time to think. I had my baby to worry about. The Taishos want me to have an abortion, Inuyasha may not be who I thought he was, and my mother wants me to make my own decision. But what do I want? I've been so afraid. Afraid of what people may say, afraid of what might happen in the future. I haven't been living. Sesshomaru has been dead for as long as I've been pregnant, but I still let him control me.
"Kagome…are you still awake?" One of the nurses asked. I glanced up and noticed she was checking all of those machines that I was tied up to. I must have dozed off because it was starting to look dusky outside. The nurse had slightly closed the blinds as to not wake me up.
"yes" I replied softly. She charged down my blood pressure and heart beat into the chart that lay at the end of my hospital bed.
"I wanted to see if you needed anything. The hospital has resources for teen moms; counselors, adoption agencies, OB/GYNs, etc. Have you thought about what you want to do with your baby?" She asked sweetly. I could see little pamphlets peeking out of the pocket in the front of her nurse's apron.
"I haven't made up my mind yet, to be honest" I responded, not wanting another person trying to tell me what to do.
"I understand, you still have four months to decide. Have you picked out baby names or thought about what gender the child might be?" She questioned. I shook my head slowly and she smiled at me like I was some poor naïve girl. She was called to from someone at the nurses' station and left me alone again with my thoughts.
There was nothing to watch on TV, the nurses were walking back and forth across the hallways tending to other patients, I was not ready to face Inuyasha or talk to my mother. I grew sleepy again and before I realized it, I had drifted away.
"Ms. Higurashi, you've had a girl".
"Hand me Keiko" I demanded.
The nurse hands me a baby swaddled in a pink and white blanket. I slip back the covers to reveal a raven haired, dark brown-eyed paper with rosy red checks and a button nose. My precious innocent little girl; not tarnished by the cruelties of this world. Not tormented by the inequalities of her gender. Nothing bad has ever happened to her, and with me in her life, nothing ever will.
"My apologies, Ms. Higurashi, you've had a baby boy" The nurse informs me. She takes away the pink bundle of joy and hands me a baby wrapped in blue. I turn back the edge of the blanket to see a baby boy with big amber eyes, silver hair that almost appears platinum in the light, and magenta stripes running horizontally down the sides of his face.
"There must be some mistake…this isn't my child" I call out to the nurse.
"I assure you there is no other baby for you Ms. Higurashi. This is your son. Yours and Sesshomaru Taisho's" She murmured to me.
"Kagome….Kagome! Snap out of this!" I could hear a voice calling me, and I felt my body being shaked. My eyes shot open to see Kagura…my old therapist in my room. She was not in her usual attire, she was in some dark demin jeans and a t-shirt that says "I love New York". I was surprised to see her after such a long time. It had been months since our last session. The room was bright and sunny, I guess I was more tired than I felt.
"Kagura..what are you doing here?" I asked, my face covered in a light sweat. I swiped the dripping sweat from my eyes. She handed me a tissue from her purse which I used to wipe the edges of my face. I was not sure why I was sweating, the room was iced cold.
"Your mother called me and told me what happened. I hadn't seen you in quite some time. With the accident that happened with Ayame and your issues with Inuyasha, you must need to talk…"Kagura suggested. I scooted over in the bed so that we could have some room to talk. This felt different from any other therapy session I had ever had.
"I am not sure where to begin. Inuyasha and I have been a couple of weeks but I'm not sure if he cared about me or if he was forced by his mother. I can't bear the loss of anything else in my life, but I can't have another person in my life that I can't trust" I confessed. Kagura took out a small legal pad from her purse and began jotting away. I rolled my eyes but ignored her writing.
"How does Inuyasha act towards you?" She questioned. I explained to her about the kiss, the proposal, the romantic date night, all the times he's gone out of his way for me, and how upset he was with his father. She seemed pleased by what I said.
"Kagome, if Inuyasha was merely doing his mother's bidding, the relationship between you two would be different. Why would he behave the way he does?" Kagura asked me. I couldn't figure that part out. If he was only watching me because his mother felt he owed me for his brother's mistake…I could see him going with me to doctor's appointments and protecting me from the people at school. But why ask me out? Why be so sweet?
"I can't understand his behavior. It's confusing" I answered finally, once I was sure that I was torn between believing him and distrusting him.
"Have you talked to him since the fight with his parents?" She asked.
"He came to the hospital earlier today, but Mom shooed him away so I could rest. He tried to prove that he cares for me and that his father isn't as awful as he appears" I replied.
"Talk to him again, hear him out. He deserves a chance if you think you want to raise this baby and have his family in the baby's life. It may do you some good. But only if you feel comfortable that is. Has the doctor mentioned anything about releasing you?" Kagura asked. I could see her phone light up in her thin shirt pocket.
"No, but I think it'll just be a few days. They're giving me some fluids and making sure I don't have a concussion after that fall. The baby is fine, thank goodness" I said, relieved.
"Have you given any thoughts to what you wanted to do with the baby?" Kagura asked. She glanced at my protruding belly.
The nurse came in and dropped off a tray of breakfast. There was a small egg white omelet, an orange cut in half and some low-fat milk. I nibbled on the food but I wasn't interested.
"I can't decide. Part of me can't imagine giving up my baby. But I'm afraid. What if it looks like him? What if I can't love my child because of what happened to me?" I whispered.
"You can look at Inuyasha although he looks very similar to him as well. What stops you from fearing Inuyasha?" Kagura inquired.
"Inuyasha's personality is nothing like his brother's. It's gets easier with time too" I shrugged. I wasn't sure why Inuyasha's appearance no longer bothered me, but I'm glad that it doesn't.
"If you can like Inuyasha, then you can love your child. I think you may already love the baby and just don't know it. Life has given you many obstacles, but you've passed all of them with flying colors. You did not let the Taishos pressure you into killing your baby. You also did not let Ayame convince you to run to the media. You protected your baby both physically and literally from negative outside influences" Kagura pointed out. I couldn't help but agree. I gave my baby the chance to live, even though I don't know to what purpose.
"I do care about this baby, and I don't want to kill my baby. But what type of mother could I be to this baby? I'm a high school junior, home-schooled, unemployed, and broke" I said.
"Yes, but you are doing the best you can. And maybe things will work out so that you can keep the baby if you choose to do so" Kagura said softly, patting me on the leg through the thick hospital blankets.
"Thanks Kagura, I'll keep your optimism in mind when I make my decision" I laughed. She gave my hand a squeeze and left me to enjoy the rest of my breakfast. The nurse came in during her regular cycle of vitals for the patients. She wasn't as friendly as the evening nurse but she got the job done. I pushed my blankets off to the side, and made my way to the bathroom, my IV bag and machine in tow. I was still sticky from the nightmare I had last night.
I grabbed a generic white washcloth from the shelf in the bathroom and ran it under the luke warm water. Then I splashed a handful of water in my face and patted dry with the towel. I looked in the mirror and couldn't believe what I saw. It'd like I was only pregnant in the belly. Nothing else about me had changed. I was still the same girl I was 6 months ago, at least physically. After pondering in front of the mirror, I was sure I was ready to leave this boring hospital.
I decided to stretch my legs a little more before I walked over to the nurses' station. "Excuse me?"
"Yes Ms. Higurashi" One of the nurses asked me.
"I was wondering if the doctor said I could be discharged. I'm growing tired of being here" I complained. The nurse did not look up from the form she was filling out.
"You're leaving tomorrow, Ms. Higurashi. The doctor feels that nothing was damaged by your fall. I can call your mom and let her know to come get you in the morning" The nurse said.
"Thank you" I squealed, roaming back towards my room. I had already spent a couple of days in this blah hospital and I was dying to see something new. But going home meant going back to the life I was happy to escape from.