CHAPTER FORTY EIGHT

After battling the Karate Master, Amy returned with her fully healed Pokemon into the heart of the city, following directions to the Saffron Gym. She crossed side streets and through avenues until she spotted the dome-shaped building, set apart from the others with its own area in the city. This was definitely the official Gym of Saffron City. Amy felt a surreal tingle pass over her as she knocked on the double doors. They opened of their own accord and Amy stepped inside, glancing around warily.

The reception was a long hallway, covered with a red carpet that ran the length with torches in brackets on either side. It was warm and spacious, but otherwise lacking in decor. Amy walked down this corridor, unable to shake the feeling that she was being watched, though the corridor was completely empty. At the end of the corridor there was another door, which she closed behind her as she entered.

The entire room was devoted to a battlefield, with a podium on one side facing a high-backed chair akin to a throne set into the wall.

"Hello?" called Amy, glancing around uncertainly. She stepped up to the podium, glancing down to place her three Pokeballs into the holder. "Ah!"

Sitting in the throne opposite was a young woman with jet-black hair and facial features that didn't move. She rose, wearing a red pant suit with golden buttons, completely at ease.

"Are you the Gym Leader here?" asked Amy, surprised at how disinterested the woman seemed. All the other Gym Leaders manifested gusto for battling.

"I am Sabrina," she spoke in a monotone, without registering emotion. "I am the Gym Leader of Saffron Gym. Have you come to lose, too?"

This was a rather biased statement. Confidence was one thing, but...

"I am here to win," insisted Amy, showing her Badge case. "I have five Badges so far. I will collect my sixth from you."

No response. Not a smile, nod, blink. Sabrina settled on her throne, as stoic as stone.

"Do you know what Pokemon I specialise in?" asked Sabrina. Amy shook her head. "I use Psychic-types. Psychic Pokemon are my speciality."

If she doesn't defeat Trainers with skill, she sure will bore them to death, thought Amy. Wait. Psychic Pokemon! My Nidorina is weak to Psychic attacks!

"I haven't encountered a Trainer who uses Psychic-types," said Amy, feeling brave in the face of this woman's expressionless gaze. "It will be good to have a challenge."

Nothing. No rise out of her. Amy decided not to use humour.

"I am ready when you are, Sabrina."

From within the red curtain behind the throne, three Pokeballs zoomed into sight and hovered above the throne, no visible strings to hold them upright.

"You - you're psychic too, aren't you?" asked Amy, hesitantly. "This isn't your Pokemon doing this?"

"I have had psychic abilities since I was a child. I am capable of telekinesis, among other abilities."

Amy shifted uncertainly. This must be how she sounded when she was polite; mouthing courtesies while never really volunteering information of personal value.

Sabrina's gaze penetrated that of Amy's green eyes. "I battled your brother recently."

"Liam?" Amy's mouth fell open. "He's - he's already got the Badge here?"

Sabrina shifted in her seat. "Among his other Pokemon, he mistakenly battled with a Fighting-type. I believe he learned his mistake."

She must mean Machop, thought Amy. Unless he has another Pokemon I don't know about...

"How did you know who my brother was?" asked Amy, knowing the answer before she said it.

"Like you, I have three Pokemon," said Sabrina. "If you win, I will give you the Marshbadge."

"If I win?" Amy paused. "That's a step up from you."

Sabrina rose from her throne, Pokeballs hovering in orbit around her. "In this Gym, mind prevails over matter. And I see that your judgement is clouded."

"Gee, thanks," Amy replied dryly. "What next? My clothes are out of style?"

"You still care about style, manners and what people think of you," Sabrina smiled, offering her only formality she would begrudge. "But enough about each other. Let's concentrate on the battle - I choose Abra!"

Overhead, one of the Pokeballs poured red light onto Sabrina's side of field to reveal Abra, a small Pokemon with yellow skin and brown marks, its eyes closed as it sat cross-legged on the battlefield.

"Your Pokemon's asleep before the battle's even begun," Amy pointed out, disdainfully.

"Choose your Pokemon, challenger," replied Sabrina.

Amy selected her first Pokeball, tossing it into the fray.

"Growlithe," said Sabrina, before Amy could announce it herself.

Discomfited, Amy watched as the Pokeball burst forth to reveal Growlithe, good-naturedly barking at Abra who remained silent, eyes closed.

This Psychic-type Gym Leader seems stronger than she looks, mused Amy. Wait! Can she read my mind... of course she can! Stop thinking! Think about... Psyduck!

"Growlithe, Ember!" cried Amy.

Sabrina made no response. Amy watched as Growlithe opened his mouth and released a volley of flames, all of which hit its target -

"Aha! I told you Abra - " Amy paused, noticing the targeted Abra was but an illusion, or else the real Abra just teleported to the other corner. "What - "

Confused, Growlithe glanced to where the Abra had rematerialised, still cross-legged with its eyes closed.

"Growlithe, take that Abra down! Bite!" called Amy, anxiety worrying her nerves.

Growlithe ran toward Abra, leaping on it but passing through the transparent copy, as the real Abra teleported itself back to its original position, unharmed and unruffled.

"What - your Abra can teleport in battle?" Amy was devastated.

"I'm glad to see you're beginning to understand the power of Psychic Pokemon," said Sabrina. "They are not to be taken lightly."

No wonder she won against the Karate Master, thought Amy. Out of sheer frustration, any Pokemon could be left exhausted. But I won't quit.

"Growlithe," paused Amy, remembering Sabrina could read her mind. "Um - "

Growlithe let out a fearsome roar at Abra, who opened his eyes in alert surprise as Growlithe bounded forth, hindquarters tense to leap -

Suddenly, Abra's eyes emitted a bright light and Growlithe stumbled, blinded by the sudden illumination. Yelping, Growlithe held his paw over his eyes and shook his head to clear the dizziness.

"What - you didn't even issue an order!" cried Amy.

"I communicate telepathically with my Pokemon," said Sabrina, unapologetic. "It keeps me in harmony with them."

"More like you use your powers to boost theirs, and vice versa," Amy retorted.

Wryly, Sabrina replied, "You're letting your emotions cloud your judgement. But then, you chose that path when you left the S.S. Anne. You wanted to break from tradition, controlled order and stagnation. You wanted to feel those emotions you held bottled up inside."

Growlithe whined as Amy looked from Sabrina to her Pokemon.

"Growlithe, you can do this! Attack Abra again!"

Growlithe ran towards Abra, unafraid as it leapt through the air until the last second, when Growlithe landed on its hindquarters through the illusory copy and promptly fired a volley of flames at where Abra had reappeared.

"Ah!" Sabrina's eyes lit up.

Abra was burned in the deluge of flames that consumed him whole, steadily suffering from the injury as Growlithe leapt for Abra.

"Take Down!" cried Amy.

Leaping for Abra, who in his torment could not manage to properly teleport in time, Growlithe tackled into Abra and sent the Psychic-type rolling across the battlefield. Landing uneasily, Growlithe suffered recoil.

"Abra, return," Sabrina made no move, while among the three Pokeballs that orbited her body, one broke off to return Abra inside with a flash of red light.

"You see, Sabrina?" Amy challenged. "I'm not completely predictable!"

Sabrina regarded Amy with a blank stare. "I don't know what you mean. You're absolutely predictable."

The second of Sabrina's Pokeballs opened mid-air, releasing amid bright red light a Pokemon not unlike a clown, with pink cheeks and pointed shoes.

"Mr. Mime," Sabrina answered, to Amy's unspoken query. "Another of my Psychic type Pokemon."

Mr. Mime looked quite content to splay its hands in pantomime gestures, not at all fazed that it had entered a Pokemon battle.

"Is this another Pokemon who likes to teleport?" asked Amy. "Or will it actually attack this time?"

"I can understand why you like to speak out, coming from a cloistered childhood," said Sabrina. "It's the rebellious side in you. A part of you longs for the thrill and freedom of vulgarity, to embrace that culture only because having been denied it, therein lies the appeal."

"Save your psychoanalytical conclusions," Amy reddened. "You're not a therapist."

"No, I am a mind-reader," replied Sabrina. "I go direct to the source."

"Enough of this!" Amy grimaced, bile in her throat at having her personal identity dissected. "Growlithe, Ember!"

As Growlithe released a volley of flames from his mouth, Mr. Mime waved his hands in a complex fashion and conjured a shining golden wall that repelled the worst of the damage. Mr. Mime sidestepped to avoid the rest, holding out both his hands in concentration.

"Confusion," ordered Sabrina.

"Growlithe, avoid it!" cried Amy, as Mr. Mime blasted the space where Growlithe leapt away from with a blast of telekinetic energy. "Take Down!"

Rushing for Mr. Mime, the Light Screen disappearing after a few seconds, Growlithe leapt into the air at Mr. Mime who waved his hands and conjured a transparent barrier which Growlithe knocked into, face flattened and slid down, suffering recoil not to mention embarrassment.

"This is insane!" Amy's anger threaten to overspill. "First your Abra can teleport to evade my attacks, then that clown Pokemon - "

"You sound just like your brother when he battled me," Sabrina watched Amy without concern. "He perseveres not to better himself, but to prove others wrong. Spending your life trying to correct other's assumptions - isn't it better to persevere for your own goals and not to satisfy others?"

You're right about Liam, Amy thought bitterly. But I'm nothing like that! I'm not!

"I am not interested in hearing you talk about me and my family," said Amy, cheeks going red. "Is this how you win? Throwing your challenger off balance by inciting them into turmoil?"

"Pokemon battling is mind over matter," Sabrina repeated. "If you cannot focus on the battle - "

"And that gives you excuse to belabour me?" Amy shouted.

"Anyone has the excuse to belabor you. The difference is, I know what will really push your buttons. Wouldn't it make the world of difference is my opinion meant nothing to you?"

"Well - of course, but - "

"You feel vulnerable when I point out certain aspects of your personality. You are ashamed of them, so you hide them within your mask and when I draw them out, you become defensive."

"Of course I'm defensive! They're private - they're - "

"Failure is not a flaw. Failure is what makes you human. You refuse to ask for help in times of need, because you fear nobody will accept you for who you are - less than perfect."

"Well, obviously!" Amy exploded. "Who would want to help someone who is less than perfect?"

"There's the contradiction," noted Sabrina. "How can someone help you if you do not ask? This is where your judgement is clouded. In not asking for help, you assume yourself superior when in fact, you isolate yourself from the very help you need. Can you forgive yourself your failures, the way you do with your Pokemon?"

Chewing furiously on her lip, Amy returned to the battlefield and shouted, "Growlithe! I want that Mr. Mime taken down! Do you understand me?"

Unaccustomed to the harshness in his Trainer's voice, he nodded balefully. Amy immediately felt a surge of guilt. Growlithe set off for Mr. Mime.

"Growlithe, Roar!"

Growlithe let out a fearsome roar that halted Mr. Mime in its tracks, as he ran for the Psychic-type and leapt, jaws bared -

But Mr. Mime was only pretending to stay as still as a statue, allowing opportunity to evade Growlithe's leap and delivered a Doubleslap to Growlithe with his large, white-gloved hands. Growlithe was knocked back, smarting from the injury and growling at Mr. Mime in frustration.

"Growlithe, Take Down!"

Close enough so that Mr. Mime had neither opportunity to conjure barriers nor evade, Growlithe leapt upon Mr. Mime and tackled him over, as he squirmed below. Growlithe suffered recoil, but still managed to give Mr. Mime a Bite for good measure.

"Nice going, Growlithe!" cried Amy.

With a blast of telekinetic force, Growlithe was knocked backwards by Mr. Mime's Confusion. Getting to his feet, Mr. Mime was furious that his defences had been overwhelmed. Growlithe got to its feet, but it became confused from the Psychic-type's attack.

"Mr. Mime, Confusion," spoke Sabrina.

"Growlithe, watch out!" shouted Amy.

Growlithe bit itself in confusion as Mr. Mime's telekinetic wave blasted the Fire-type backwards, stumbling over his feet in his attempt to stand.

"Growlithe, return!" Amy held out her Pokeball, worried as the red light returned Growlithe inside. On the assault, Psychic Pokemon could be a handful. "Nidorina, you're up next!"

Nidorina stepped forward confidently, gaze fixed on the clown Pokemon, who readied himself by flexing his fingers.

"Nidorina, Poison Sting!"

"Mr. Mime, Confusion."

Mr. Mime concentrated telekinetic energies and dealt the ensuing wave into Nidorina, impaled by the poison barbs that caused him to fall over in pain. Nidorina was blasted backwards, almost KO'ed from the sole hit while Mr. Mime struggled to stand, poison coursing through his veins.

"Nidorina - " Amy was surprised Mr. Mime's attack was so powerful. "Are you - are you OK to stand? Can you fight?"

Baring her teeth, Nidorina got to her feet and raced for Mr. Mime, who winced every time he attempted to form a Barrier due to the sapping effects of poison.

"Mr. Mime, return." Sabrina said. One of the Pokeballs opened and returned Mr. Mime inside with a flash of red light, as Nidorina pounced on empty air where Mr. Mime once stood. Proudly, she returned back to her place in front of Amy.

"Two down, one to go," said Amy. "You're underestimating me."

"On the contrary, testing your skills is part of what makes me a Gym Leader," said Sabrina, only one Pokeball orbiting her frame. "You have proven to think outside the box and your Pokemon are loyal enough to follow orders. Now I will show you the Pokemon with whom I single-handedly defeated the Karate Master."

Amy watched as Sabrina's third and final Pokeball spilled red light onto the battlefield from above.

"Kadabra! Demonstrate your psychic prowess!" cried Sabrina.

Kadabra walked forward, the evolved form of Abra walking on two feet, with a large tail and holding a spoon in one hand. One look told Amy that Kadabra did not need to resort to physical attacks to deal its damage. Amy had to be careful - Nidorina was on its last legs.

"Nidorina, Tackle!"

"Kadabra, Psybeam."

Focused intently, Kadabra held up his spoon as a talisman and directed a psychic beam at Nidorina which missed by inches. Nidorina ran forward and tackled into Kadabra, knocking him off-kilter -

"Bite!" Amy cried.

Kadabra shimmered with mystical energies and blasted Nidorina off him and into the wall, where she slumped unconscious.

"No," Amy held out her Pokeball, flashing with red light. "This can't be happening - "

"What you are feeling right now is shame, not because your Pokemon are losing but by all that I know about you, behind that mask you conceal your emotions and true feelings behind, I know what's under there. To maintain your sense of pride, you must defeat me to prove my assumptions false."

"You're wrong!" stuttered Amy. "This is about Pokemon - "

"When I said mind over matter, I meant it. Pokemon battling requires strength and skill. Being a Trainer requires willpower. Could you confidently look at yourself in the mirror if you lost to me today?"

"Of course not," replied Amy bitterly. "I'd have failed - "

"To whom? Your Pokemon, who you love and train with all your might? Or to yourself, because you hold yourself to standards beyond what you might accomplish? Willpower and perseverance allows you to refocus, to address failures as opportunities for learning. Certainly put your effort into the challenge during the moment. But do not lose your will to fight. Look how you handled Koga."

"I lost, because he - "

"What? What excuse is there? The only answer was to try again, and you succeeded."

"But - " Amy hesitated. "What if - "

"Ah, now there you're losing your willpower."

"You're drawing it out in me! Your damn psychic abilities - "

"You are allowing yourself to feel inferior! You allow your sense of self to be defined by others! Isn't it better to succeed and fail on your own terms? That way, a success leads to joy and a failure is another opportunity to try again for success. You set yourself up to fail by refusing to acknowledge your successes."

Amy was shaking in her anger, unable to reconcile this unbelievable turn of events. There was no way she could lower her standards - what would people think -

"You have always been trying to please others. Hold yourself above them. Think seriously about what you want. You are afraid to fail because because by anticipating the responses of how other people will react, you prevent the emotional pain caused by falling short of their predicted expectations and accordingly, you spend a lifetime wondering if you're good enough because you aren't accountable to your own standards."

"All of this - what you're telling me - this is supposed to make me a better Pokemon Trainer?"

Sabrina nodded. "If you are content within yourself, your Pokemon will see that. Don't you want to take off the mask?"

Emboldened, Amy picked up her third and final Pokeball, throwing it into the fray.

"Go, Cubone!"

Cubone waved his bone club at Kadabra, who stared stonily back.

"Kadabra, Recover."

"Cubone, Focus Energy!"

Cubone gathered its energy as Kadabra glowed with a bright light and was healed of its injury. Running forward, Cubone raised its bone club.

Sneaky Sabrina and her Psychic Pokemon, thought Amy. No! Focus on the battle at hand.

"Kadabra, Psychic."

Knowing he wouldn't make it in time, Cubone tossed his bone like a boomerang towards Kadabra, knocked off balance while he was focusing his psychic powers. Spinning through the air, Cubone leapt up and caught the bone club and whacked it down upon Kadabra, who fell to the ground.

"Headbutt, Cubone!"

Eyes wide with surprise, Sabrina uttered, "Kadabra, Disable!"

But as Kadabra tried to stand, Cubone finished the job by lowering his head and launching into Kadabra. Stirring feebly, Sabrina could do naught but watch as her Kadabra fell, unconscious.

"Your Psychic-types use trickery to impede and delay," said Amy. "But my Pokemon know how to succeed, whatever the circumstances!"

Silently, Sabrina caught the Pokeball which dropped into her hand and returned Kadabra by herself. Walking towards Amy, she offered her hand.

"Thank you, Sabrina," Amy shook her hand. "I'm sorry for saying those things, it was out of line - "

"You're learning a lot, Amy, I can see that," said Sabrina. "You're coping with adversity in a world where you don't know how to act, you're adapting to change and relying on gut instinct rather than assumed stereotypes. You're beginning to open up and heal, to make it on your own. It's important you don't stop now."

"I won't," said Amy. "I won't give up training my Pokemon."

"Don't be so hard on yourself, Amy." Sabrina's voice was gentle. "You're doing fine."

Abruptly, Amy had to glance away to hide her outburst of tears, sniffing profusely. Sabrina touched her on the arm.

"You see? I accepted you, despite what you consider your failure and you feel validated. This is perfectly normal. It will get better."

Not believing her, wracked with the shame of open emotion and feeling a headache build, Amy turned to Sabrina, who held in her outstretched palms the Marshbadge and a sizeable sum of prize money.

"I didn't know becoming a Pokemon Trainer was some journey to self-enlightenment," Amy blew her nose, red-faced. "Do you give this speech to every Trainer who battles you?"

"Only the ones who need it most." Sabrina smiled. "Good luck, Amy."