A Hundred of Her Memories

78 – Writing

Xion picked up her pencil and opened up her antique looking journal. Saïx had surprisingly good taste in journals for each of the members.

She sighed and wrote down the only date she knew: how many days Roxas had been here. He mentioned it every now and then for he had the presence of mind to keep track unlike herself. When she started journaling, she took note of days based off of Roxas' calendar. She also took to the habit of titling the entries.

Day 151: These Dreams

I wasn't ready to see Roxas again. I can't help but compare us. We both use the Keyblade, but we're so different.

Does he dream? It seems like that's all I do anymore. Last night I dreamt of the ocean.

I was drowning.

Xion looked up with a gasp when someone knocked at her door.

"C-come in!" she called.

Axel popped his head in and smirked at her. "Am I interrupting anything?"

"N-no!" Xion stuttered. "Not at all. Come, sit down."

He strolled over and plopped down on her bed beside her lounging form. "What ya writing about?" he asked, peeking over her shoulder.

She looked back to her journal before realizing what she'd been writing and slammed the book shut. "Uh-um… nothing?"

Xion laughed nervously, not looking Axel in the eye until he gently took her chin and made her eyes look into his own.

They were as serious as Saïx himself.

"Drowning?" he said, his eyebrows coming together.

Xion bit her lip and closed her eyes. She couldn't look at his face, the concern, the almost anger. It hurt for some reason, that she hadn't come to him first when she'd begun having these nightmares.

But… she didn't want to seem like a baby. Especially to him.

"Look at me," he whispered, propping himself on his elbow. "What's with these nightmares?"

Xion moved to a sitting position and squeezed her eyes shut tighter, but still a small tear slipped through. She didn't know how she could cry. She shouldn't be able to.

"I…" she breathed. "I can't…"

Axel sat up abruptly and cupped her face between his hands. He hunched over to level his face with hers. "Just try. I'll listen."

Xion dared to open her eyes and saw his flaming emerald orbs hovering right in front of hers. Inhaling deeply, she closed her eyes slowly… and tried.

"They… they're always hopeless. I know I'm going to die." She choked on the last word. "Sometimes it's by drowning; sometimes it's by trying to swim away, but passing out underwater. I try to call for help, but… no one answers. One time, you and Roxas were right there, on shore and I asked you to save me… but you… you just…"

Huge, soaking tears were streaming down her pale cheeks. She let her head come to rest on Axel's forehead causing his face to become wet with her tears. Xion felt Axel's comforting hands hesitantly move from her face to behind her shoulders before he pulled her into a hug, rubbing her shoulder.

She sobbed and sobbed and sobbed.

"Xion…" Axel said. "Those are just dreams. I'd never let you drown; if you are injured or in danger, I'll always be there to bring you back."

She looked up at him. "Promise?"

He smiled. "I promise. Got it memorized?"

Xion nodded. Axel rubbed her head and propped her up gently.

"Now. What can we do about those nightmares?" he murmured, tapping his lips.

Xion laughed through her tears. "I don't even think you can help with that, Axel."

"I wouldn't be too sure. I'll find a way. Got it memorized?" he chuckled tapping her temple. Xion laughed as she swatted his hand away, but Axel caught her hand mid-air and yanked her down backward onto his stomach.

"Axel!" she protested.

"How about I stay with you til you go to sleep? Then I'll tuck ya in and go to my room." He said it as non-chalantly as if he'd been saying, 'You take the right and I'll take the left. This Heartless will go down in no time.'

Xion arched her neck to look up at him. "Huh?"

"You heard me."

She stared at him for a long time, calculating his words before falling back down onto him.

"I'll have to put my journal away first," she sighed, closing her eyes.

"I said I'd tuck you in and take care of that," Axel said, stroking her hair.

"Hm…" Xion exhaled. "You know…" She rolled her head back and blinked at him lazily. "Your idea might just work…"

Axel watched as her eyelids slid shut and her breathing evened. Moving carefully, he slipped out from underneath her and lay her down with her head on the pillow.

He glanced at her journal and pursed his lips thoughtfully.

Should he read it? Or not? Axel was too curious for his own good.

Sitting in a chair beside Xion's bed, Axel flipped open the book. He read her first entry explaining that she didn't know when she'd come to the Organization, so she went by Roxas' time.

He stopped at an entry that perked his interest.

Day 50: Strange Feeling

Roxas woke up today. I think he was dreaming the whole time. Being with him feels strange. Familiar. Like listening to the waves crash up against the shore. But why?

Axel frowned thoughtfully before turning the page.

Day 73: What Now?

I lost the ability to use the Keyblade, and I have no idea why. I don't know what to do about it. About anything. It happened suddenly, after Roxas woke up. If I can't collect hearts anymore, the Organization has no use for me. This is terrible.

It surprised him that she didn't write very often. He tried to write every day, but her entries were few and far between.

Looking at the day, he remembered that that was right before he'd seen Xion's actual face.

He went to the next entry.

Day 75: Gotta Do Something

Roxas has been coming along on my missions to help out, since I can't use the Keyblade. Axel is covering for me, so I should be safe for now. But what am I going to do if I never get the Keyblade back? I can't lie forever.

She trusts me… Axel thought. He glanced at Xion. She'd rolled in her sleep so that she was now facing him. Her brow furrowed and her breathing became jagged. If steadied after a bit, so Axel went back to his reading.

Day 95: My Past

Neither Roxas or I have any memory of our human lives. I don't even remember my first days as a Nobody. Roxas said he was the same, but I'm not so sure. For me, it's a total blank. I can't even remember the day I met Roxas, or Axel. It's all a blur.

For a moment, Axel felt bad for Xion, that she couldn't remember anything from her past. But then… sometimes he didn't want to remember those things.

Suddenly he heard a thump. He looked up sharply to see Xion tossing and turning slightly. Sweat was beginning to pour down her brow. Axel set her journal down on the bedside table and knelt down beside her bed to look at her face.

He reached out a hand and caressed her cheek.

"Wherever you are, I'll always be there to bring you back to me," he whispered. Leaning in close, he kissed her forehead. Her tossing stopped upon contact causing him to smile softly. He kissed her right cheek and when he stood up, he bent in half to kiss her left.

"Sweet dreams," Axel said. "And no more drowning." He turned off the light and shut her door quietly.

Xion laughed as she and Roxas splashed each other with the salty ocean water. Axel was there too, sitting on the shore watching them. The waves carried Xion further out, but Roxas was swimming alongside her so she didn't feel in danger at all.

Suddenly, she was caught in a riptide and swept far away from Roxas. She began screaming and trashing in the water.

"Help me! P-please!" she cried. "It's too strong!"

Roxas merely treaded water and watched. Xion was swept further and further away.

"Don't leave me!" she wailed, swimming as hard as she could against the current. Yet, no matter how hard, how fast or strong she swam, the current kept pulling her, pulling her further out to sea.

Her arms felt heavy and no amount of willpower would move them. Her legs weren't moving either and Xion began slowly sinking.

"Help me… Axel…" she took one last breath before she was submerged by the waves.

The burning sensation she felt in her lungs whenever she drowned came… Then… An arm pulled her out.

Xion gasped loudly, glad for the air. She clung to the person that saved her. With slow, steady movements, they cut through the water. As she gasped in the sweet and salty sea air, she noticed a wet mane of red hair hanging over her shoulder.

"A-Axel?" she rasped.

"How you doing back there?" he asked playfully.

She only tightened her grip around his neck in response. Soon enough, they reached the shore. Axel dragged her onto the beach far from the reaches of the tide. He hovered over her, caressing her face with a smirk.

"Wherever you are, I'll always be there to bring you back to me," he whispered before leaning down to kiss her forehead, then her right cheek, then her left cheek.

Xion blushed slightly and shyly reached up to tuck his loose bangs behind his ear. "You kept your promise…"

He laughed and pressed his forehead against hers. "Sweet dreams. And no more drowning."

Xion giggled and yanked him down beside her. With a shout, he tumbled, but then she rested her head on his chest.

"Sure thing," she smiled. "As long as you always keep your promise."

"Will do, kid."

Xion dreamt of sunsets and ice cream, even of oceans, but not drowning. For once, she had a peaceful night's sleep.

A/N: A little bit longer, but I figured I owe you guys for being late. :) I'm back on track and I'm aiming to finish this challenge soon.