"Up in Flames"

Lucawindmover

Chapter Seven

"Mistake"

"So we really have to talk about this," Clarke said from the bathroom doorway.

"I know."

"What are your thoughts?"

"That you might have finally met your match as far as stubbornness goes."

Clarke rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. "That's not what I'm referring to," she said. "I mean, I'm really freaking hungry too, don't get me wrong. But I'm talking about the lack of a message on the mirror. It's kind of got me worried."

Bellamy was sitting on their couch, leaning back against the wall with his arms crossed over his stomach. She knew he was trying to be tough about this hunger situation but it had to be getting to him. She could tell in the way he held himself, the tightness in his jaw, his increased fatigue. She was feeling it too.

"Maybe they're busy," he said with a shrug.

She scoffed. "Doing what?"

He just raised an eyebrow suggestively and she was sorry she'd asked.

"Well, I have a solution to both problems," she said. "But you aren't gonna like it."

Bellamy held her gaze for a moment as her thoughts seemed to register in his brain. "No," he said, shaking his head. "Absolutely not. No."

Clarke crossed the space between them and sat on the edge of the couch. "Listen. When the breakfast drawer opens, I'll just take the stupid test. It's not going to be positive anyway. We've been careful. But then we'll get lunch and maybe a spoon."

He was quiet for a long time and Clarke waited as long as she could, letting him come to terms with what she was suggesting.

"Look," she said when it was obvious to her that he wasn't going to say anything. "You're right. They're more stubborn than I am, okay? I didn't foresee them holding out this long. But this could also get us our spoon, too. This will kill two birds with one stone."

He raised an eyebrow at her expression and she sighed. "Again, one of my dad's many weird one-liners. Sorry."

Bellamy shook his head. "Don't apologize for that," he said. "Your dad must have read up a lot on those turns-of-phrases. I don't mind them. But, you know, be prepared to explain them."

She smirked. "It means one action could have two positive results. One stone. Two birds."

She knew she was going to take the test whether he agreed or not. He wasn't her keeper. But she really wanted him on board with this because it had been a while since they were at odds on a decision and she didn't like it. Not liking it wouldn't change her stance but it would definitely make the whole thing more frustrating if he fought her at every step on this.

"Okay, look," he started, scooting forward until his feet hit the floor. He propped his elbows up on his knees as he talked. "You have every logical reason to take the damn thing. I get it. We get fed. We possibly get our ticket out of here. Trust me. It's logical and I'm running it through my head and I can't find fault with it."

"But you still don't want me to do it."

"No. I really don't."

Clarke took a deep breath, knowing she would have to be the one to say what had been left unsaid. "Because if for some reason it came back positive, it would change everything."

He sighed. "We'd be crazy to think it wouldn't."

She closed her eyes, trying to think of a way to phrase what she was thinking. "Look. If somehow the test came back positive, that would mean things are already different. The idea that not knowing it somehow makes it not real is avoidance. And avoiding it won't make it go away. It won't feed us and it sure as hell won't get us out of here."

Bellamy groaned and she realized that she said the right thing. If she hadn't, he'd have an argument. But he couldn't argue this one. She knew it. He had a specific "I hate this whole word" groan that he saved for times when he had no arguments. Usually it felt like a victory when she heard that sound. It used to mean that she'd won. But this time, and she wasn't really sure why, it didn't feel like winning.

Before he could say anything else, the breakfast drawer opened, along with the one with their fresh clothes and towels. He looked at her, turned those very defeated brown eyes to hers and sighed. He got up and retrieved the cup for her, dropping it in her hands with a shake of his head.

"If it's any consolation," she said as she stood up. "I have absolutely no desire to do this."

"I know you don't, Princess," he said softly. "But you're right. It has to be done."

Clarke went into the bathroom and filled the sample. She closed the lid and sat the cup on the counter and stared at it. For all her bravado in trying to persuade Bellamy that this was the right decision, she was terrified looking at that cup. He'd been right. The results of the test could very well change their lives forever. Not knowing right now was a blessing and she'd much rather go on not knowing. But it was cowardly. Standing here with shaking hands and heart racing, she was being a coward. She knew it and yet she could do nothing about it.

She was startled as a hand entered her eye line, grabbing the cup for her. She hadn't even heard him come in, which spoke a lot to how bothered she was by this whole thing.

He turned and left with the cup and, from her place leaning against the sink in the bathroom, she heard him close the drawer. She closed her eyes and clenched her fists and tried not to feel like her world could fall apart at any second.

"You gonna be okay?" he asked from the doorway.

Clarke swallowed hard. "I honestly have no idea."

He didn't say anything for a while and Clarke continued to breathe with her eyes closed, focusing on not falling over. The lack of sustenance was really messing with her because it hadn't taken more than half a dozen deep breaths to make her feel light-headed and dizzy.

And on top of that, she was starting to feel the white-hot tendrils of rage burning through her veins. It wasn't as if this situation hadn't already been making her angry. But giving in to that anger would solve nothing. It wouldn't help them develop a plan to get out of here and it wouldn't fight the gas. It would have only made them more miserable than necessary, to give into that rage.

She'd resisted the urge to be angry for long enough. This was the last straw and she was finally pissed. They'd locked her up and had decided that, against her will, she'd be their living incubator. And because she had no way of fighting them on this until she gave in to what they wanted, she was being forced to fall in line.

She turned away from the sink and stormed past Bellamy and back into their room. There was nowhere to go, nowhere to be alone with her pain and frustration. She growled and started pacing, pacing because if she didn't keep moving she would start hitting things and she knew that would be a bad idea. She'd told Bellamy as much a few different times. Only now did she realize how tempting it would be to start pounding away at some inanimate object. Only now did she understand that desire.

"You're gonna wear a hole in the floor pacing like that," Bellamy said from the bathroom doorway.

She laughed, a sound totally devoid of humor. "Unless you're going to volunteer to be a punching bag, this is all I've got right now."

Clarke caught a glance of his confused expression and for some reason that made no sense to her at all, that look on his face made her even angrier.

"Don't you look at me like that," she said, narrowing her eyes.

"Like what?"

"Like I'm crazy. Like I'm nuts for being pissed right now."

"Well it was your idea to take the test."

She threw her hands in the air and came to a stop in front of him. "And that means I can't be mad about it? Just because I took the damn thing doesn't mean I can't still be pissed that they forced me back into a corner, okay?"

Bellamy just held his hands up in front of him as if he didn't want a fight. She stopped for a moment, breathing heavy, and finally took in his expression.

He was nervous. Those test results were making him really nervous. She could tell from his posture, from his choice of words, from the creases in his forehead. He was scared. And if she had taken a moment to appreciate the fact that these Mountain people were messing with both of them and not just her, she'd have noticed that immediately.

She sighed, closing her eyes and shaking he hands out by her sides. When she looked at him again, he had one eyebrow raised, as if he were about to start with some sort of snarky comment.

She would never know what it was though because before either of them could speak, the monitor on the wall next to the door sprang to life. Rather than showing the man it had shown before, this time it was a woman in a lab coat addressing them.

"Congratulations room 309," she said with a broad smile on her face. "You have finally been tested! Now that you have I can divulge some additional information about your condition that wasn't available to you before."

Clarke felt all the blood drain from her face. "Condition?" she echoed softly. She hardly felt Bellamy move up beside her and place a hand on the small of her back.

"When you were brought in, all of you had birth control discs embedded into your lower backs. We removed those of course and replaced them with fertility amplifiers. In this way were able to ensure that even pre-seminal fluid would be enough to establish a pregnancy, which usually is an unlikely scenario."

"Oh no," Bellamy said from behind her, his fingers tightening on the fabric of her shirt. Clarke felt her knees wobbling precariously.

"Now," the woman continued. "This being said, you will find something very unique occurring here. We have been working tirelessly for several generations now on an accelerated gestation serum that would allow a patient to carry a child to term in about ten weeks, rather than forty. This has been our first large-scale trial and has been incredibly successful thus far. Because of this serum, we should be able to establish enough children within this generation to sustain our population indefinitely. And in only a few years time rather than it taking a decade."

Clarke could feel Bellamy's hand shaking against her. Or perhaps she was trembling uncontrollably. She wasn't sure which it was.

"So this is what happens next," the woman said. "You are to be reunited with the rest of your people. They have been established in a much larger area of barracks with an attached mess hall and recreational facility. You are the last of the subjects to be moved. Momentarily, you will be relocated. Further testing will begin in a few days to monitor your new pregnancy."

With those words spoken, the monitor went black and then faded to white.

Clarke turned and met Bellamy's eyes, unsurprised to see the same shock she felt mirrored there.

Then the gas started. They both recognized it immediately as different from the aphrodisiac. It was the red gas that had knocked out Clarke and the others before. They scrambled back toward the far wall but it was useless.

The last thing Clarke remembered was her head hitting the floor and staring across the space to where Bellamy lay, already gone, as the black boots of soldiers came in to take them away.

The first thing Clarke became aware of was the chattering of voices around her. She couldn't seem to make her eyes open or move her body. She felt as if she was full of sand and stone.

"Did she just move?"

"Guys! She's waking up!"

"Give her some spaces. Jesus, Jasper. Would you move?"

"I was checking her pulse. Chill out, okay?"

Clarke groaned and flexed her fingers. Someone was holding onto her right hand with a death grip. She ran her thumb across the knuckles and immediately realized that this hand didn't belong to who she had hoped it belonged to.

She licked her lips and willed her voice to work. "Could someone bring me some water?" she croaked.

"Dude, Clarke needs water!"

"Somebody get some water."

"Monty's on it, Clarke. Can you open your eyes?"

Clarke squeezed them closed a little tighter for a second before finally prying them open.

The first face she saw, the person attached to the hand she was holding, was Finn.

"Clarke," he said with a sigh of relief. "How are you feeling? Are you okay?"

She just frowned and shook her head, her eyes taking in the people immediately around her. She caught glimpses of Jasper, Monroe, Miller, Raven, a couple of girls she knew as Toni and Penelope, and Monty as he came back with a cup of water for her.

Finn tried to hold it up to her mouth but instead she shook free of his hand and pushed herself up to sitting. "Where's Bellamy?"

Clarke watched as Finn's face fell a little. "He's in the next bunk. He's still out."

Only having his word to go on wasn't good enough. She put a hand on Finn's shoulder and used him to swing her legs over the side of the bed she was laying on. Everyone around her was protesting, telling her to sit and take it easy, but she couldn't. She wouldn't listen. She needed to see. She needed to see that Bellamy was fine.

When Finn realized that she wouldn't be dissuaded, he tucked an arm around her and led her over to a nearby bed.

In sleep, he looked far too still. Even though they'd had several nights together in this place, she'd never actually seen him asleep. He always seemed to wait for her to fall asleep first and was awake already when he woke up, with the exception of that first morning when she'd dumped him on the floor by accident.

He didn't look like he was sleeping. He looked lifeless. Clarke couldn't help how her hand went to his neck, checking his pulse to reassure herself that he was okay. And of course he was. His heartbeat was a little slow and his breathing was heavy but both were normal reactions to being drugged into unconsciousness. Finn let her go and she sank to the floor, her back against the side of the bed. She propped her face up in her hands, closing her eyes and tuning out the questioning voices around her.

She just needed a minute. She was starting to understand why the others had begged her to sit back down because just that short trip from one bed to the next had already exhausted her.

Finn shooed everyone else back to wherever they'd come from and took a seat next to her. From the corner of her eye, she could see that he was still holding her cup of water. Her throat felt raw and dry and when he noticed that she was looking at it, he handed it over. She took a deep swallow of the metallic water before placing the cup on the floor on the other side of her.

"How is everyone handling this?" she asked, clearing her throat and setting herself to the business at hand. It was useless to sit and worry about Bellamy when there were things to be done.

Finn ignored the question. "How are you handling this?"

"I'm handling it by looking for a way out of here."

"Why?"

Clarke turned to him, a look of pure confusion on her face. "Why? Really?"

Finn shrugged. "Look, it's far from ideal, I'll give you that. But there's food here. Shelter. Safety."

She shook her head. "We are not safe."

"There's no Grounders here," he replied. "No storms or mutated beasts or Reapers."

"That does not make it safe," she said. "You're nuts if you think they're just going to let any of us go. They can make us produce radiation-resistance children at a fraction of the usual rate of human gestation. You have to be an idiot if you think they're going to let any one of us walk out of here."

"But they said—"

"Finn," she said, clenching her hands into fists. "I don't trust what they said. Not a word of it. It was a bunch of placating fabrication. I'm going to get us out of here before they decide we aren't even worthy of being awake during our human incubation periods."

Behind her, Clarke heard the rustle of sheets and she turned, pushing herself up on her knees.

Bellamy groaned and frowned and Clarke fought the urge to grab his hand. But Finn was there and she was being watched. She could feel the eyes of the others in the room as she resolutely ignored them.

"Hey," she said instead. "You with us yet?"

He groaned again and lifted his head a little, peeking through narrow eyes. The moment he saw her face there, he sighed and let his head fall back on the pillow. "I feel like crap."

"You look like crap."

"Your bedside manner sucks."

She smirked. "Remind me to work on that when we get out of here."

"I'll hold you to that," he said.

He closed his eyes and it seemed like he drifted back to sleep. Clarke wondered if he would even remember waking up. She sighed and turned back around, sitting as she had been before. She could feel Finn staring at her but she refused to answer the question in his eyes. They all knew the answer anyway. Talking about it would be useless.

Finn seemed to understand this eventually because his shoulders dropped and he let his head fall back on the bed behind him.

"We're really in a mess now, aren't we?" he asked softly. He moved to reach for her hand, sitting on the floor between them, but she moved it to her lap before he could.

"Yeah," she replied. "And to think we thought we had it bad before."

"I could scream forever. We are the poisoned youth."

Fall Out Boy "Centuries"