"Taki seems pretty cool. But his brother, what do you make of him, eh?" They were whispering, but I could hear them fine from in the boy's locker room. They stood right outside it after they're done changing and talked amongst themselves. I can't seem to help but overhear ever word they say, and those words make my stomach turn.
"He sure is weird. I don't think he even likes soccer. Why'd he have to come and join our team anyway?"
"I heard it's because of Taki. Anything Taki does, Aki does too. It must be like a twin thing or something."
"Yeah, but man, even for being a twin, he sure is freaky." There was quiet agreement to this. "I mean, Taki is pretty good at soccer and fun to hang around, but I try not to spend time with him just because of Aki."
"I heard he broke some dude's wrist just 'cause he accidentally tripped Taki and Taki got bruised." A couple gasps and more agreement.
"I know dude! I'm afraid to even touch Taki, you know."
"Yeah I know! The other day, he gave me the death glare just for patting Taki on the back!"
"Well, you know what I heard..."
I let their voices slip out of my head as I slunk back against the wall. It's been another of those days. Those days where I just couldn't catch a break. My only break was Aki.
I curled up into a ball, resting my head on my knees and wrapping my arms around them like I did when I was a kid. I couldn't even play soccer anymore without being feared. I loved soccer.
But I knew. Aki and me together made a freak show that nobody wanted to come see.
"Taki, what's wrong?" I heard something fall, maybe a water bottle, and a second later my brother's arms were around me. "Hey, hey, don't cry. What happened?" I didn't even realize it, but my shirt was wet. I brushed away the tears.
"Nothing. Relax. I'm fine." He sighed, but didn't relent on his embrace. I smiled and gave him a little push. "Come on Aki, get off me. Practice is over, we should get heading home." He drew in a soft but hesitant breath. He nodded and released me.
We were already out walking by the time Aki talked again. "What do you think Minoru is doing?" Aki asked me as he scrunched his nose. "Hopefully not trying to make food." I smiled.
"If he is, let's fake sick so we don't have to have any," I swung my arms up and ran my fingers along the branches of the trees we passed. I looked at Aki's hair for a moment. "You're going to have to dye it again soon, man."
His real hair was chestnut brown, but he kept it dyed a yucky pastel yellow to match mine. I could remember when I caught him in the bathroom with a bottle of the gloopy stuff the first time.
"Stop! Aki, what are you doing? You're not supposed to play with that stuff! Where'd you even get it?" I had begged and pulled on Aki's leg when he got up on the stool to see in the mirror as he added the dye to his hair.
"Shut up already! We're supposed to be identical, remember? I'm always going to look like you!" His determined brown eyes smiled at me defiantly. His voice softened. "And no one can change that, got it?" I gave up. I smiled and nodded.
We couldn't have been more than seven, but I don't remember how old exactly we were. Aki probably would know. I always remember the words and he always remembers the age. We were like two halves of a memory, instead of two memories.
We had already made it back to the house. Time sure did fly with him around. I picked up the broom from where it was on the ground. Aki exchanged a look with me.
"Oh Taki-Aki!~" Minoru's voice wafted out of the kitchen. "Come eat some of this!~"
"Nice guess man," I high-fived Aki before we headed in. Well, it didn't smell like anything was on fire. Something actually smelled edible. We stepped up to the doorwat of the kitchen. Then, something happened.
I tripped over an untied shoelace (when you're too busy listening in and not paying attention to getting dressed) into a girl who was exiting the kitchen (probably going to see who was there). I snapped my eyes shut. But an instant before we collided, Aki got in the middle of it.
He hit her. He shoved a girl down.
She flew back a bit. Her head banged against the table. "Girl!" Minoru yelled out in horror.
She looked a little stunned at first, like she had no idea what happened. She instinctively touched the back of her head, where she got hit against the table. She winced a bit. Then looked down slowly at her fingers.
"No blood!" She reported happily. She touched her index finger to her forehead as she stood up. "Just give me a minute...just give me a minute...I just need a minute...okay, I'm not dizzy anymore and the pain's cleared up. Ah, are you two the twins?"
"Uh...yeah. Uh...I'm Taki, this is...uh, Aki," My mind went numb. I hardly registered my words. How could he knock her away like that? He could get angry...I mean, he broke some people's bones before, but he would never lay a hand on a girl. Would he? I looked at him with confusion. He looked away.
"I'm...sorry. Please forgive me," He said to the girl. His voice trembled. "Reflexes...my brother...I..." His voice just got quieter and quieter. "I...need to protect him..."
"You don't need to protect me! I can take care of myself, you know!" I didn't know why I was shouting. Was I really that angry? "I'm not yours to protect anyway, Aki! I don't belong to anyone but myself!" I could hear the cruelty in my tone. I could taste the bitter. But I couldn't stop. Those words scared me. I was afraid. Afraid of what my words meant. Afraid of the only memory that we didn't share.
Afraid of the only memory I owned.
"I'm just as old as you are! I'm not some kid! I don't need you! And...and...!"
Then I saw the girl. Her eyes were wide. She must be afraid. I lowered my voice. "Excuse me...I'm...I'm just gonna leave now." I took off into my room. I passed Miki on the stairs. His mind was pretty washed out as he took the stairs on one at a time. I had a split second. "Tell him I'm sorry." I whispered to Miki, before I ran into my room and locked the door. Tears trailed out of my eyes.
I curled up into a ball and cried. Why? Why did I yell? I never yelled at him before. Was this fighting? We never fought before either. But I got scared. When he hit her, I got scared. Scared of something I thought I buried.
I got scared of being owned again.
"Taki! Taki! Please! Please open the door!" Aki was thumping his fists against the door. I instantaneously closed my eyes and laid down on my side. I could've fall asleep to the sound of his hands. But I knew I couldn't right now. I reached up a limp arm and clicked down the lock.
Aki ran in and hugged me. "I'm so sorry, I was just scared," We whispered at the same time to each other. We shifted a bit, and I rested my head on his lap and he ran his hand up and down my back. I closed my eyes. I knew what I scared of. And I knew he what he was scared of.
I could feel all the pain and worry and fear in his heart. I wish I could just leech it out of him and into my own being. Then maybe he'd be happy. Then maybe he wouldn't hurt people anymore and maybe...he wouldn't hurt himself anymore. But that, I knew, would take a lot more than just me. It would take an angel.
I drifted to sleep the way I always did. Listening to the sound of his hands. But for once in a long time, not the sound of his hands bleeding.