Killing Me Softly 20

The Storm II

"What's up pet?" Steve asked as he sat back next to Dan with another pint and saw Sandra who by now was struggling to keep the tears from pouring down her face as Dan just stared at her, the implication of her words hitting him. The tension was thick in the air and was weighing heaving around them all. "Erm, I'm sorry I'm going to have to love you and leave you. My friend is just back from his cigarette break." Steve excused himself, in truth no one had just arrived back in the pub but the tension was beginning to ebb away at Steve's good mood.

"What are you sorry for San?" Dan asked now that Steve had gone, realistically he knew what was coming but he had to be sure but Sandra was still trying to compose herself and felt that trying to talk now would be to meltdown in the middle of the pub. "Just tell me it's not what I think it is, I'd like to think I know you pretty well San and you wouldn't do this." He wasn't even looking at her as he spoke to her any more and that in itself was worrying. "Sandra you can't go yet, I still don't know what's going on." Dan tried in a gentler tone as Sandra started to move as if she was leaving.

"I'm going to the ladies." Sandra whispered as it was all she could get to come out just now, everything she needed to say was playing around in her brain and the words were on the tip of her tongue yet they just wouldn't come out. Something was stopping her and all it was achieving was prolonging the storm that was already brewing.

"Are you or is this you running away? You're going to have to tell me what's going on because this time I'm not letting you run away." Dan asked as if he was able to read her mind and if that's what was going on then really she didn't need to say anything but back in reality he wasn't a mind reader and she was going to have to speak at some point. Sandra thought for a moment and then remained where she was, he was right and both of them knew it.

"What do you mean this time?" Sandra asked his words only just becoming clear through the fog of emotion in her head.

"I should never have let you leave when our relationship began to get serious, I know you slept with Strickland but we could have worked through that." Before now she'd always considered their break up a mutual decision and one that they both understood, their relationship wasn't sustainable and had no chance of working out in the long run, now it didn't seem that he understood that like she thought he did.

"Dan it would never have worked, fair enough I met you and we got together before you joined UCOS but the moment you accepted that job was the moment that it started going wrong. It's not your fault but it wouldn't have been fair to carry on like that and if anyone had ever found out about our relationship then we'd have got so much grief as a department." Sandra began to explain, it was a deviation from what was still to come and not an easy but it was still preferable to what was to come.

"We were together a year and fair enough our relationship was a secret but we could have left it a bit longer and then announced we were together."

"If I'd have done that though I'd have never hit it off with Max and moved to France, that was a great opportunity for me."

"I never said it wasn't, you said you were single so I take it you and Max didn't work out?"

"No, we realised we were better as friends. I'm sorry I got with Max so soon after we split and I'm sorry for sleeping with Strickland."

"It's all in the past. Are you still working for Max?" Dan asked, what Sandra thought was a friendly conversation was instead Dan trying to rule things out in his head.

"Yeah, I love it. I don't work full time any more because I like to be with Olivia as much as possible."

"Yeah about Olivia, I know Strickland isn't likely to be her dad and Max is still around and you said her dad wasn't. Is she mine?" She looked at him in shock at how through avoiding the conversation he'd still managed to discount other options, then again he was always a top detective.

"I need another drink." Sandra quickly changed the subject as she swallowed the remaining wine in her glass and left for the bar in order to get something a lot stronger to drink. If she was going to have to do this then she was going to have to have as much alcohol in her system as possible while still being able to be in control.