A/N: Thanks everyone I'm glad you're enjoying this. And thanks everyone who's taking the time to R/R, favorite, or even follow.
Chapter three: So Far Away
Chase's P.O.V.
"Adam...Do you… Do you really love me?"
My heart stops as I ask the question. I feel like such an idiot for even entertaining the thought of him feeling anything remotely close to love. Sure he probably does love me but isn't the feeling I have for him. It's petty love of siblings and it hurts my chest that I set myself up for such heartbreak.
"Umm Chase..." He begins.
"No, sorry never mind, forget what I just said. I know it's just a brotherly love," I say quickly trying to save me from the emotional pain and tears that will surely happen if he honestly answers.
"No Chase, listen please," he continues desperately trying to make me see reason.
I turn my face away from him and try to pry my body from his, instantly missing the warmth he provided just seconds ago.
"Just please leave me alone," I beg already flustered enough.
"Chase just let me-"
"Leave!" I shout turning to face him.
My face is hot from anger as he continues to look at me. I feel tears sting my eyes and my throat aches from the lump quickly forming. I'm sure that if he doesn't leave I'll cry in front of him, the last thing I want to happen. His shocked expression directed at me, however, makes me suddenly feel guilty for shouting at him when all he's done so far is be there for me. He didn't deserve that, especially since it was my mistake for bringing it back up. I mean seriously, I've tried so hard to keep my feelings from spilling and now I'll probably reveal them over something that probably never happened.
"Please," I whimper pathetically.
He stands up with melancholy in his dark chocolate eyes and walks to the door. He looks like a kicked puppy as the door opens when he pulls it and I wonder if I really hurt him by yelling. Though perhaps considering I even surprised myself with the sudden outburst.
"We'll talk later...You need to rest," He says quietly.
I swallow thickly and offer a small nod.
He probably doesn't see it as the door closes behind him.
I stare at the shut door and shiver already missing his mere presence in my room. Everything seems so big and empty without him here. It makes me gasp at the sudden pain in my chest, crippling me to short pants as the first tears roll down my cheeks. Since when have I become so weak?
'God am I an idiot or what!' I scold myself internally as I curl up in a ball on my bed and rest my head on my knees.
"I must have been dreaming because I thought he actually said he loves me," I mutter sadly and frustrated, desperately trying to convince myself of my stupidity.
"I bet he thinks I'm insane or a freak," I chuckle bitterly at my own misery.
I feel more tears fall and drip down my chin while I try to wipe them away quickly. The brother relationship, heck even our friendship, was most likely ruined now. I raise my head and quickly spot my guitar on the other side of the darkened room. I get up and reach for it, sniffling pitifully as I do.
I take a minute to think and I know already what song goes good with my crappy depressing mood. I choose So Far Away by Avenged Sevenfold who are none other than one of my favorite rock bands after everything that's happened.
"Never feared for anything
Never shamed but never free
A life to heal the broken heart with all that it could
Lived a life so endlessly
Saw beyond what others see
I tried to heal your broken heart with all that I could
I can barely sing as my throat only constricts further and it feels like I'm choking on air.
How do I live without the ones I love?
Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned
Place and time always on my mind
I have so much to say but you're so far away"
Adam's P.O.V.
As I walk out of Chase's room I close the door behind me and lean close only sit on the ground with my back pressed against it and my head on my knees. He heard me and god I felt like I was burning up in there when he asked me if I loved him. The hope that glistened in his eyes slowly flickered until it died when I hesitated. I was just so nervous and didn't know how to respond. I'm such a stupid idiot. He probably thinks I'm crazy or something for even saying I love him.
And now I can hear him playing. At first it sounded sad and then he got to the second verse. I intended on leaving instead of invading his privacy but his voice just pulled me back.
"Plans of what our futures hold
Foolish lies of growing old
It seems we're so invincible
The truth is so cold
A final song, a last request
A perfect chapter laid to rest
Now and then I try to find
A place in my mind
Where you can stay
You can stay away forever
How do I live without the ones I love?
Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned
Place and time always on my mind
I have so much to say but you're so far away"
Chase's P.O.V.
As I sing, I mean every word. Adam is so far away yet so close. I feel like I'm losing myself. It hurts so much and I hate it. And like in the song I wonder, how do we live without the ones we love?
It's eating at me but he doesn't like me like I want him to. He doesn't want me like I want him. He doesn't love and I think it's time I opened my eyes and see the cold hard truth.
Adam's P.O.V.
"I love you, you were ready
The pain is strong and urges rise
But I'll see you, when He lets me
Your pain is gone, your hands untied
So far away
And I need you to know
So far away
And I need you to, need you to know."
And then the song is over. Just as it started it stopped and I can hear his silent sobs trying to be quiet but not being able to. I feel him pain so deep in my bone it's suffocating, if only he knew.
"He can sing can't he," Tasha smiles behind me.
"T-Tasha?" I stutter nearly jumping out of my skin.
"Listening are we?" Leo waves with a smirk.
"You too and how long-"
"Long as you," Bree answered cutting me off.
"I wonder who he likes," Mr. Davenport says out loud deep in thought.
"I feel bad for the girl already," Bree jokes and Leo bursts out laughing.
"Leo," Tasha warns.
"Sorry mum," he apologizes but the smirk is still in place.
I wonder if they can hear him crying like I can now.
"Well we better go before he comes out and finds us here," Mr. Davenport says.
With that everyone just scatters and each go into their own separate rooms. Everyone, well, except for me. I stand up and dust myself before turning to look at the door. I wish I could just burst in and hold him in my arms but I can't. He's hurting and I don't know what to do. I don't know how to tell him how much I love him.
"Night Chase...sweet dreams," I sigh instead.
It might be ridiculous but I press a soft kiss to the wooden door, as if it were the person I love, and trudge toward my own room wallowing in my own misery.
Chase's P.O.V.
I place my guitar down on the floor next to my bed and wipe away frustrated at my stubborn tears. A muffled voice whispered through the thick white door only makes it worse as the person, Adam, utters, "Night Chase...sweet dreams."
I listen until I hear his footsteps fade and I flop down on my bed, exhaustion taking over my body again. I close my eyes and fall into a blissful dream despite my ambiguities.