A/N:
Hello sweet peas. Short lil note for ya'll today. Just wanted to thank you guys for the alerts and say an additional thank you to sweetlovelygirl95, YoungHopeful, Valice, theincredibleinkspitter, ciprianoivashkov, and deviant97 for the reviews. I am so happy you like the story so far! :) Also for some reason the last half of the story appears to be italicized and I'm not sure why, I didn't write it that way and when I tried to edit it wouldn't let me fix it, so I apologize if it looks stupid!

Chapter 3:

Dean happily strolled to his locker early the next morning, feeling slightly excited. He had hoped his mystery writer had seen his Tumblr post, and had agreed to reveal their identity. He wanted, no needed, to get to know his admirer. The way the anon wrote was beautiful and intelligent, and he had no doubt that he would love the anon even more if he got to meet them. Of course the thought crossed his mind that anon was less than attractive, but for once in his usually shallow life, he found himself willing to give the anon a chance even if they weren't very aesthetically pleasing. He figured in this case, personality overcame physical appearance. Those letters opened up a side of himself he didn't even know existed, a side that craved love, and affection. His friends often teased him over his obsession in finding his suitor, telling him that he's grown soft and to grow a pair. Lisa was less than impressed that Dean was investing all his time in a complete stranger. They still slept together, but it lacked the same passion it used to. More often than not, Dean would roll off of her half way through sex, sigh and apologize to her, telling her it didn't feel right anymore. If Dean would have to choose another downfall of these notes other than the obvious fact of not knowing who in the hell wrote them, it would be his lack of sexual interest in other people, but he figured it was a small price to pay to feel the warmth run through his body when he read the sweet words of his beloved anon. And that's what made today's note even more confusing and upsetting. He had opened his locker, smiling at the familiar stationary falling to the floor. He picked it up and leaned against his locker, opening the note up.

Hello, Dean.

I must admit I was elated to know the effect my writing has on you. Writing my first note was simply a form of release for me, as to avoid repressing my feelings for a seemingly untouchable man. I needed you to know the adoration I have for you, the longing to kiss those beautiful, impeccable lips of yours, to wrap my arms around your perfect body, to feel the warmth of that flawless skin against my own. I could tell you, I would die a very happy person if just once, even for a fraction of a second, get to feel that. But sadly, the world does not work like that.

I am enamored with you and you occupy the majority of my thoughts, and the mere fact that you feel something for these notes makes my head spin and my heart skip a beat. But this is why I cannot write to you anymore. I'm afraid I have set myself up for hurt. I was simply hoping you would read my note and dispose of it, not get my hopes up with the false dream of one day being with you.

What do I have to be afraid of, you ask? Well, a lot, actually. I know you well enough to know you wouldn't take too kindly about finding out my identity. Not only that, but there is the constant ridicule that your "friends" would bestow upon you if the discovered the truth about who you got excited over.

It an inevitable heartbreak for me, and an embarrassment for you. Please do not try to convince me otherwise, because I know, with no doubt, that I am not who you would want. Enjoy your time with Lisa, Dean. I shouldn't have distracted you from her, anyway and I apologize for that. I see you two kiss in the hallways and it feels as if someone shoved their hand in my chest and dug their fingers into my heart. It hurts and I seethe with jealously, but even I have to admit you two make a pretty pair. She is smitten with you and you look quite content with her also. So it may pain me to see you with her, touch her where I wish you could touch me, kiss her lips when I long for them to be my lips you kiss, but I do enjoy seeing you happy and so I do wish you luck with her.

This will be the last time you hear from me, my sweet Dean. Please don't try to over think it. You will always be in my heart and I hope one day I can find myself someone even a fraction as amazing as you are.

Keep smiling, Dean. It looks good on you.

Yours,

Anon.

Dean couldn't seem to comprehend anything after he had read the note. Once again his admirer had wooed him with his beautiful words, made his cheeks flush when he read that his anon wished to kiss him, to touch him, but he also felt a stab of confusion and hurt wash through him. He honestly didn't understand why his anon was so terrified to make themselves known. The thought of never reading another note like the ones he received previously made him feel a sense of loss even though he never met the person. He needed to try to convince his anon to come forward, promise them that he wouldn't laugh or judge or even be disappointed. This couldn't be the end, it had barely even begun. He dejectedly sighed and pushed the folded note into the pocket of his jeans. The warning bell had rung to signal the students to get a move on and make it to class, and he took off down the hallway toward his first period class. He was distracted, his mind racing trying to figure out what step to take next when his body collided with another, sending him stumbling back and causing the other person to fall to the floor, his binder exploding with papers as it made contact with the floor.

"Hey, watch where you're going man!" Dean said harsher than he meant to. He glared down at the other guy he bumped into, before storming off again to head to class, not bothering to help the slightly smaller man up, or help gather the papers that now littered the hallway. He was in too much of a bad mood to deal with some nervous looking kid and even though he knew he was being a dick, he didn't allow himself to feel bad before he had stormed off.

OoO

Cas was hurrying off to his first class. He had physics and he was rather pleased with that, it was a subject he was quiet good at and he shared it with Kevin and Jo, which made the time pass pleasantly. He rounded the corner and his body connected with what felt like a brick wall, sending him flying back, his binder seemingly vomiting all his school work onto the floor.

"Hey, watch where you're going man!" he heard an angry voice say. He knew that voice. He looked up and saw Dean glaring at him, and if looks could kill he's certain he would be on his way to the morgue. As he was about to apologize, Dean stormed off without bothering to help him up, leaving him on the floor in an endless sea of stray papers. It was that moment when any guilt about ending this back and forth thing he had going with Dean had squandered. He had made the right choice. The way Dean looked at him like an inconvenience and an annoyance confirmed his own beliefs that Dean would be sickened if he found out that Cas had been behind the beautiful words. Cas gathered his papers and raced off to his class, feeling not only the physical blow of this bump in with Dean but the emotional one as well. For a fleeting moment he thought Dean would maybe accept him, it was a pipe dream but there was a fraction of a fraction of hope, that all dissipated the second Dean's eyes bore nothing but irritation and anger toward him. There was nothing else in that stare. Just frustration and anger. Normally Cas never let an encounter like the one he had with Dean bother him. Dean's idiot friends would "bump" into him all the time and leave him to dive after his scattered papers before they got lost of ruined, and he would just shrug it off and go about his day. But this, this encounter with Dean hurt. It was a blessing in disguise, he told himself. It just made ending the notes to Dean a lot less difficult. But he needed to make sure, be 100% that Dean would never want him. And when lunch came around, he enlisted the help of his trusty younger brother Gabriel.

He was sitting at his usual table with his friends in the cafeteria when his younger brother plopped down in the seat in front of him. Cas raised an eyebrow at Gabriel.
"What are you doing here?"

"Sam has the flu and I don't want to sit with anybody else. People are starting to ask me to buy their lunches for them and it's fucking annoying." Gabe complained. Cas just chuckled.

"Language, baby brother. You can sit with us. On one condition."

Gabriel smiled. He was all for conditions.

"What is it, Cassy?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

"I dare you to go up to Dean Winchester and say "What would you do if you found out a guy had a crush on you?"

Gabriel tilted his head- a Novak trait in confusion and Jo, Kevin, Garth and Chuck all gave him a questioning look.

"Why would you even want to know, Cas?" Jo asked suspiciously.

Castiel just let out a small laugh, trying to appear nonchalant and cool as a cucumber.

"I'm just bored and it would be entertaining to see mister alpha male's reaction to something like that." Cas said casually, mentally patting himself on the back when he came off non suspicious.

Gabriel took the bait and laughed. He was all for fucking with people so he eagerly agreed. Dean's table was the one in front of Cas's and so it would be pretty easy to hear the conversation. Gabriel stood up, winking at his brother before walking over to Dean's table. Cas and his friends remained silent, eager to hear what would turn out to be an uncomfortable conversation.

"Hey, Dean-o!" he heard Gabe greet.

Dean looked mildly annoyed.

"Can I help you, Gabe? I already told you Sam will be back when he's better."

"Oh, it's not about Sam. I was just wondering, Dean-o. What would you do if you found out a guy had a crush on you?"
Gabriel asked it so casually, Cas wondered how he could manage not to burst out laughing. One of Dean's friends, Adam, spit his juice out at the question, starting to laugh.

"Why you got the hots for him, little Novak?" Adam teased. Gabriel gave him the finger before turning his attention back on Dean.

"I do not, totally not my type."

Dean looked really annoyed now and a part of Cas regrets getting his brother to do this.

"Why do you want to know, Gabe?"

"Because I do. Maybe I know someone who likes you. Who happens to be a dude."

"Well then I'd say too fucking bad for that someone. I'm not gay. I'm not bi-sexual. Hell I'm not even remotely curious. That's disgusting, Gabriel. I don't care if other people are gay but you couldn't pay me to even kiss a guy. That shits gross." Dean scoffed.

Castiel felt his heart shatter. He knew he should have been prepared for Dean's answer but didn't anticipate it hurting so bad. Dean would think he's gross. The fantasy of kissing those plump, soft looking lips was so far out of reach it might as well be galaxies away. Rejection, no matter how unintentional, fucking sucked.

OoO

Anon,

I got your letter today. I'm sorry you feel like you can't trust me but I promise you I won't care who you are, I'll just be happy to know who you are. Please don't give up on this, whatever it is. This is the first time I ever felt a connection to someone, even if it is someone I don't know. Me and Lisa aren't together, never were, I love her as a friend but you're the only person I'm interested in getting to know romantically. I want to know who you are, I really do. I want to put a face to the person who makes me feel. Just give me a chance to prove I can be the guy you say I am in your notes. I wpn't reject you or hurt you, I promise.
I hope to hear from you tomorrow. I really do.

Cas read Dean's latest Tumblr post when he got home that night. It made him feel terrible. If his encounter with an obviously uninterested Dean didn't take place earlier that day, he almost would have believed Dean's words. He felt so stupid for ever thinking that Dean would accept him. He did the only thing he could to make himself feel a little bit better. He went to Dean's Tumblr profile and clicked the "unfollow" button.

OoO

The next morning Dean once again hurried to his locker feeling the now normal feeling of anticipation surge through him. He was certain that his words would have made his anon want to reply. His anon adored him, he surely wouldn't let this go so easily. He opened his locker eagerly and furrowed his brow when no note fell out. He dove into his locker, lifting up random pieces of paper, searching every crevice of his locker to make sure he didn't miss it. There was no note. He thought for a moment that maybe his suitor was away sick and couldn't respond that day, and would leave a note tomorrow. His hopes were soon dashed as the next day came and there was no note. The day after that bared no note also. Finally a week went by and not one sign of a note was found. He pleaded on his Tumblr for his anon not to abandon him, but never got a note in return. He noticed 2 people had unfollowed him, Lisa, and he didn't know the second person was. He assumed that his anon had stopped following him. But, why? Something was up here. Was this all just a big joke? Or was it real? Why won't his anon talk to him? He couldn't answer any of these questions but all he knew was that he felt terrible. He had lost something he never had.

A/N:
Don't worry friends, it certainly doesn't end here. There will be some more of that wonderful teenage angst in the next chapter, just so ya know. I'm still really enjoying writing this so let me know what you think :D