Chapter 10: Realization (part 2)
"So, Lee. May I ask you a question?"
"What is it Sakura?"
Sakura was deep in thought, carefully picking the words to say. "I just wanted to know why you're so… Well, how can I say this?"
"Just tell me." Lee wasn't looking at her. He was staring at his hands in deep contemplation.
"Well, how are you so sure about Tenten?" Sakura hesitated but she asked nonetheless.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, what makes you think that she's gone or that something has happened to her?" Sakura elaborated as she fumbled with her fingers.
"Just because." Lee simply replied.
"What do you mean 'just because'?" Sakura pushed on. She didn't want to trouble Lee but her curiosity was killing her.
"It's not like you'd believe me." Lee sadly said.
"Then try me." Sakura replied firmly.
"Sakura-chan, have you ever had a feeling?"
"What kind of feeling?"
"A weird feeling. Like you know that there's something wrong." Lee gazed sternly at Sakura. His eyes were filled with worry and desperation. "It's really hard to explain."
"How about you start from the beginning." Sakura urged on.
"I couldn't sleep last night because I was thinking about Tenten and the conversation we had yesterday late in the afternoon." Lee continued.
"What did you two talk about?"
"After you left, she started to act really weird."
Sakura scrunched her eye brows. "What do you mean?"
"She started to act weird when I talked about sparring. I wanted to cheer her up so I told her that she better train hard because I'd spar with her when I got out of the hospital." Lee paused.
"And?"
"She looked at me and smiled but her eyes… They were sad. Almost as if they were apologetic, regretful." Lee looked up with a pained face.
"Maybe she was just guilty." Sakura tried to reason.
"No. It was different. I could tell. Really I could!" Lee insisted when he saw Sakura's confused look.
"Did she say anything?"
"That's the weirdest part." Lee paused as his eyebrows scrunched. "She started to say 'Get well soon' and then 'I'll miss you'. 'Get well soon' was understandable but why would she say 'I'll miss you'? It's only going to be a week of diagnosis and besides she could come here to visit me, right?"
"Maybe she said 'I'll miss you' because she'd miss not seeing you in the training grounds for a week?" Sakura reasoned further.
"No. She's not that kind of person. To tell you the truth, I've never seen her cry. The only instance was yesterday when she came to visit me." Lee looked down at his hands as the memory of their conversation replayed in his mind. "And her goodbye. She said it in a way that… That made me feel like… Like we'd never see each other again. And then, the expression on her face." His head fell down and so did his shoulders.
Sakura didn't know what else to say. "Don't worry Lee. The others are looking for her. They'll bring her back here. I'm sure of it."
"I'm sorry Sakura-chan but I just can't stop worrying! Have you ever experienced feeling something that only you knew and felt and that nobody else understood? Like you know something bad is going to happen? Like you know that there's something wrong with a person…"
"I understand Lee. I really do understand." Sakura said sadly as tears slowly formed in her eyes.
Lee regretted saying those words. How could he have forgotten? Sakura felt the same thing when Sasuke left the village. He never wanted to admit it but deep down he knew that she really loved him. Even though it hurts him, it was something he could no longer deny.
"I'm sorry Sakura-chan."
Sakura wiped her tears away and gave Lee a smile. "You don't have to be sorry Lee! You didn't do anything."
Lee just answered her by looking back down on both of his hands on the blanket.
"Don't worry Lee! I'm sure they'll find Tenten. I'm sure they will."
Neji blankly looked at discarded letter he subconsciously dropped on ground. He slowly moved to pick up the letter sprawled on the cold concrete. It looked lifeless, fragile, bleak.
He tried to read it again. Perhaps he misunderstood something or overlooked a line that said it was all one big joke. May it was all some cruel sick way to get back at him for saying what he said. Maybe, just maybe, it was all just a lie.
Neji,
By the time you've found this letter, I'm probably already miles away from Konoha. Some important things came up and I need to deal with them. It's my responsibility. You see, I'm not in any position to tell you. I'm sorry for leaving without telling you. You don't need to get upset and I know you aren't. After all you are THE Hyuga Neji, right?
Neji stopped to stare at the word 'the' written in all caps. He could sense the sarcasm in her statement but he wasn't going to admit that he was a hurt by it, not even a little.
I haven't told anyone that I would be leaving. Not even Lee knows. I guess you'd probably be the first one to discover that I'm gone. Lee's in the hospital and Gai-sensei is on a mission. So it's only natural that you'd be the first, right? Well, before I end this letter, I just wanted to apologize to you.
I'm sorry for pulling the team down. I'm sorry for getting Lee hurt. I'm sorry for causing us the mission. I'm sorry for not being good enough. I'm sorry. I really am sorry for everything. I hope by now that you have already forgiven me. I'm sure Tsunade-sama will be able to find you a better teammate to replace me. And when that happens, you'll be an unstoppable team.
Neji paused again to inspect a few wet blotches of water on the fine ink. Could she have been crying while she wrote this?
I'll really miss you Neji. I'll miss my sparring partner. I'm sure you'll become a better and stronger ninja. Heck I won't even be surprised if I find out one day that you've become the Hokage. I hope my disappearance will be of great benefit to the team. No, I'm sure my disappearance will be a great benefit indeed. Take care of yourself ok? And continue to aim for the top. Though I won't be there beside you anymore, I will always be cheering you on wherever I am.
GOODBYE.
Neji forces his eyes shut. The bold letters were hurting them.
"What's taking them so long?" Lee was getting frustrated. They left to look for Tenten during sunset. Now, it was completely dark. They've been searching for her for over two hours now.
"Be patient, Lee. I'm sure they'll be here with Tenten soon." Sakura said as she tried to calm him down.
"It shouldn't have taken this long to look for one person! Unless…" Lee paused.
"Unless what Lee?"
"Unless Tenten really is gone!" Lee looked at Sakura wide eyed.
"Lee! Don't say those things! They'll be here with her. I'm sure they will!"
As if on cue, there was a knock on the door. Lee and Sakura both directed their attentions towards the door.
It opened to reveal Shikamaru followed by Ino, Chouji, Shino, Kiba and Hinata. Lee was waiting for Tenten to enter but much to his dismay, Hinata had been the last.
"Well… Where's Tenten?" Lee asked Shikamaru.
Shikamaru simply looked at Lee then turned his gaze towards Hinata.
Hinata nervously walked up to Lee. She took it out two plain white envelops from her jacket pocket, hesitantly handing both over to Lee.
"What's this?" Lee scrunched his brows and inspected the letters. On the back of the letter, one had 'Gai-sensei' written on it while the other had 'Lee' written on it.
"Why does it have Gai-sensei and my name on it?" Lee asked the group but his gaze was on Hinata waiting for her to answer.
"N-Neji-ni-san g-gave it to me…"
"He told Hinata to give it to you." Shikamaru added to support the stuttering Hinata.
"Neji? Why would he ask you to give this to me?"
This time, Hinata stiffened a bit. She really didn't want to be the one to break the horrible news to Lee. Luckily, Kiba answered the question for her.
"He told Hinata that they were from Tenten."
"What? From Tenten? Why does she need to write me a letter? Was she too busy to visit me personally?" Lee was somewhat relieved.
Kiba looked at Shikamaru.
Shikamaru sighed. He just knew this whole situation would be troublesome. Why did he even bother to get involved in all of this? "No Lee."
"Then what is it?" Lee was losing his patience.
Shikamaru looked at the rest of them. None of them seemed to have the heart to tell Lee the bad news. He sighed once again.
"Lee, Tenten left the village last night."
The sound of falling trees resounded through the night. There was not a single star up in the heavens. Thick black clouds hovered over the moon as lighting and thunder took their place in the sky. A merciless storm was coming.
Neji stopped his killing spree for a moment to look up at the sky. His eyes showed turmoil but his body felt numb.
Tenten left the village.
Just what exactly should he be feeling?
Neji's emotions continued to do battle, each craving for supremacy. He should have cried. He should have just cried. After all, wasn't that how people dealt with loss?
Grief. Regret. Blame. He should have felt all of those. He should have felt them as he cried like any other normal human being. But he wasn't like them. He knew he wasn't like them. He was a Hyuga. And Hyuga's didn't engage in mundane things that would make them look weak.
As he looked up at the sky, he felt a drop of water fall on the bridge of his nose. Soon, hundreds, millions and billions of tiny, crystal droplets of water began to fall. A familiar feeling finally surfaced. Emptiness. Gazing at the palms of his hands, Neji realized he couldn't feel a thing even as the raindrops turned heavy and punishing.
He turned his gaze back to the heavens, completely uncaring of his drenched form. It felt somewhat ironic. It was as if the heavens were crying for him. He wanted to laugh at how pathetic he looked, but he couldn't bring himself to do so.
He felt his eyes grow hot, blaming the ceaseless onslaught of rain for his prickling eyes. Closing them shut, Neji felt a hot trickle of liquid down the side of his cheek. It seemed the rain had gotten warmer.