"I simply don't understand," Sarah exasperated more out of lack of understanding than emotion as she allowed her father to aid her onto her own horse. Stannis held her by the waist and pushed her up to sit side saddle on the creature before handing her the reins. "Why did he not run away? Why does Jaime Lannister of all people feel the need to defend me?"
"I do not know," Stannis muttered to his daughter.
"But he did?" she checked and Stannis sighed as she looked down at him. She ruefully shrugged back to him. "What? I am trying to discover what Jaime Lannister has to do with any of this and why you want his head if he has truly helped me. I mean no disrespect, but you tend not to kill those who help you."
"You would not have been in King's Landing if it was not for Jaime Lannister," Stannis snarled out to his daughter and she blinked profusely back to him, wondering what he was talking about. Had it just been Jaime Lannister who had dragged her back to King's Landing? "He took you from Dragonstone."
"With an army?" Sarah checked; her voice cautious and Stannis clenched his teeth together, wishing that she had not seen him with the Kingslayer. It would have been much easier than listening to her question him. He thought that he had his unreservedly shy daughter back, but there was a spark inside of her.
"And then he helped me escape," Sarah concluded and noted how angry her father appeared to be. "I'm sorry," she apologised, "it's just frustrating not to remember anything."
"I know," Stannis said, handing her a pair of riding gloves and she slipped them onto her fingers. "But you are here and safe; that is all that matters to us now."
"Yes," Sarah agreed and Stannis patted her horse's neck before wandering off to his own creature. Looking behind her, Sarah could see the swarm of guards whilst her mother and Shireen rode together on a wagon with the food and supplies. Sarah had assured her father that she was fine to ride alone, but Stannis had insisted he would rise besides her.
She looked behind as men jeered; the sight of Jaime Lannister being thrown over a horse enough to make Sarah gasp at their rough handling of him. He remained silent though, a smirk on his face as he refused to let them get to him. Sarah studied him, wondering if that smirk was just an act. Was it merely something to cover up how he truly felt? She didn't know, but she did know that there was something about him which she couldn't quite understand.
"Sarah," Stannis's voice snapped her from the daze she had gone into. She looked over to her father and he nodded sternly at her, doing anything he could to keep her from looking at Jaime Lannister.
"I understand," Sarah mumbled back, not entirely certain of what she should understand, but she suspected that it had something to do with staying away from Jaime Lannister.
...
Sarah had sat with Shireen that night after her father had declared they would find another inn along the Kingsroad to stay at. The journey back North would take them a long time and Stannis had told his daughter that he was trying to build his forces up there. He had apparently enlisted the help of Jon Snow to rebuild his army, but Jon Snow had asked if he would contemplate allowing Robb Stark to keep the upper half of the Seven Kingdoms. Stannis had scoffed and refused to give a coherent response for he had other important matters on his mind back then; mainly getting his daughter back alive.
"Sarah," Shireen whispered her sister's name as the night turned dark and Sarah lay in her bed in her nightgown. She had her back to Shireen as her sister called her name, wondering if she was still awake. Shireen's bed was less than a metre away, but Sarah couldn't bring herself to answer her sister's call.
She didn't know, but she just knew that she was lost in her own thoughts. She had questions which needed to be answered and she intended for them to be answered very soon if she had her way. She heard Shireen huff and sigh before her breathing became shallow. Once Sarah was satisfied her sister was sleeping, she made a move to stand from the bed and slip into her boots. She pulled them on her feet before reaching for the door handle and sneaking out the room.
She slipped down the hallway and the creaking staircase, wondering where they had put him as she came to the outside night. Taking a few moments to look around, she saw nothing but tents lining the grass around the inn. Her father had different men in comparison to the other kings. He did not allow them to stay awake until the early morning drinking. He was a strict man and his men respected that.
It didn't take her long before she wandered by an outhouse which wasn't being guarded. The smell coming from it was atrocious as she pushed the door open, the moonlight streaming in to reveal him chained against a piece of wood protruding from the wall.
She kept silent as she closed the door behind her and the creaking of the wood caused him to open his eyes, peering into the darkness in wonder of who it could be. The only light came from a small candle which burnt on the windowsill above him. But he would have known her from anywhere. He did know her from anywhere.
"Sarah," he whispered her name, wondering what she was doing with him. Could she have remembered? Was that it?
"Ser Jaime," she spoke back and Jaime instantly felt downtrodden again. If she was calling him by his title then she didn't remember him. Slowly she moved to kneel before him and he saw that she merely wore a thing nightshirt which scarcely gave her body any warmth.
"You must be freezing," Jaime commented to her and she looked down, not even aware that she had not grabbed a cloak to cover herself with. But she could not feel the cold. Jaime wanted to do nothing more than reach out and rest his hand over her cheek to see if he was right.
"Not at all," Sarah replied, wondering how much of a state she must seem to be in. "Anyway, I came here...well...I'm not really sure...but..."
"You want answers?" Jaime checked with her and watched how she bit down on her bottom lip. How he longed to bite on it for her. Jaime shifted on the hay he sat on as Sarah curled her legs underneath her in a more comfortable position, her hands in her lap.
"My father said that you rescued me from King's Landing. Why would you do that? You could not stand me in Winterfell."
Jaime shook his head then, a sigh escaping him as he realised he would have to tell the tale all over again to keep her with him. He had to make her believe him, but he knew that it would be difficult. It would be beyond difficult. It took him a few moments to gather the courage to speak and prepare to begin winning her around once again.
"Do you recognise this?" Jaime wondered, motioning behind his back to the golden hand which jutted out. Sarah moved around his body, almost straddling his lap as her hands took hold of his golden one. "I had my sword hand cut off after Catelyn Stark freed me with Brienne of Tarth to return her daughters to her. I saved Brienne from being raped...and you...but they did this..."
Sarah's eyes widened and even Jaime could see her look of horror as she sat by his side, one of her hands still feeling his golden one whilst she looked him in the eye. He turned his head to the side to look at her, continuing with his story before she could question him;
"You had ran away from Dragonstone after you heard of your father murdering your Uncle Renly for trying to usurp him from the throne," Jaime spoke. "You took Shireen and you fled. Your sister was caught whilst you posed as a tavern wench, but Brienne and I saved you from being sent home. It was then when the three of us were captured."
"Lord Bolton's men cut my hand off and as recompense he allowed me to return to King's Landing, but he was going to send you with me. It was you who sent Brienne to Lady Stark once you heard of how Lord Bolton intended to turn on Robb Stark. Anyway, we went off to King's Landing, but I helped you escape and return back to Dragonstone one evening."
Sarah did her best to keep up with his story, wondering if what she was hearing was true. She looked to Jaime and he looked back to her, his eyes full of longing and pleading. It made no sense to her. She had never seen him look at her in such a manner. He often looked at her with mocking or distaste, but not now. Now he seemed sincere.
"Cersei wanted me to bring you back to King's Landing. She sent men to Dragonstone to capture you once your parents and sister had abandoned the island for reasons I do not know." Jaime said. "I made sure you were brought there safely before plotting your escape."
Gulping, Sarah's breath caught in her throat as she stopped running her fingertips over Jaime Lannister's golden hand. Why had she been doing that? And why could she feel his breath against her neck?
"But why did you do all that for me?" Sarah whispered and turned to look at him, noting how his face was merely inches from hers. She should pull back. She should be repulsed by the idea of him being so close.
But she wasn't.
"I suspect it has something to do with the fact that I grew to care for you...very much..." Jaime admitted to her and she remained shocked. Pulling back, she continued to stare him in the eye as Jaime longed for nothing more than to close the distance between them.
"That's ridiculous," Sarah responded. "You mocked me and taunted me in Winterfell. You never wanted to be with me then; you couldn't stand the sight of me. What changed?"
"Everything," Jaime replied haughtily. "You changed from the shy little girl you had been. You looked after me when I was Robb Stark's prisoner and when I had my hand cut from me. Everything changed, Sarah. I just need you to remember it."
"I can't!" Sarah exclaimed. "I can't remember anything and I can't feel anything...you tell me my father killed his brother...that I ran away...and that you care for me, which is preposterous, may I add."
"You care for me," Jaime responded hastily to her. "You grew to care for me, Sarah. You admitted it to me...I held you that night in Harrenhal after your nightmare...I cradled you against me in King's Landing when Cersei had her guards beat you..."
"No," Sarah suddenly said, shaking her head and refusing to believe what he was saying. She looked to Jaime and recoiled, knowing that she couldn't be around him for much longer. Tears were already forming in her eyes as he tried to pull against his irons to free him. "I couldn't have cared for you. I am a Baratheon and you're a Lannister. My father would kill me if he knew-"
"-You stopped caring about your father when you realised what sort of monster he was."
"I couldn't have!" Sarah cried back to Jaime, knowing that she would soon wake someone up if she continued to yell. "He is my father."
"Then why did you come here?" Jaime wondered back. "What did you want, Sarah, if not the truth?"
"I don't know," Sarah replied in a whisper.
"You know it is true." Jaime urged her. "You need to remember it. I am not the man who I once was."
"But I can't," Sarah finally whispered out to him. "I can't remember...and I can't feel anything, not even for my own family...nothing...I'm numb and that's not going to change, is it? None of this is going to change anything."
"Please believe me," Jaime finally pleaded with her. "Sarah, just calm down and listen to me. I would never lie to you, not like your father has done. I tried to save your life and I need you to know the truth from me."
Sarah looked at him questioningly before she turned her head over her shoulder, wondering if she had heard something stir outside. She then looked back to Jaime, his broken expression enough to tell her that she should leave him before someone did find her.
"I will speak with my father and ask him not to harm you," Sarah replied, "but that has to be it. He would kill me if he found out that we had spoken. You are a Lannister and I am a Baratheon."
"No," Jaime replied as she backed to the door and he felt himself loose her step by step. "I am Jaime and you are Sarah. That was all we had ever been to each other and if I have to make you see that again then I will do so, regardless of how long it takes."
Sarah could not deny the determination which was hidden in his voice. It was almost scary how determined he sounded whilst she rested her hand on the door handle and shook her head. It was wrong to be with Jaime Lannister. Her father would tell her as much.
"I will win you back," Jaime promised her. "I will make you see."
"How?" Sarah asked, regretting the word which fell from her lips. But it was enough for Jaime to see that somewhere deep, deep inside of her she wanted to be won around. She wanted him and he knew that. He just had to make her see.
"By any means possible." Jaime spoke back.
She took one more moment to look at him before she left him alone, rushing back to the inn with tears still dripping down her orbs.
...
A/N: so thank you to mellielannister, SachikoisGreato, Miss Luny, danceegirl92 and CupcakesAndAlice for reviewing the previous chapter! Do let me know what you think!