A/N: Hello again! Thanks for favorites, follows and reviews, as always.
One of you wanted to know if I could do a chapter on the incident where Ryan was asked to be a stripper. That's not really Kevin-Jenny material and so I can't do a whole chapter on it, but this chapter has a reference of that incident. I hope it's good enough. :)
So, chapter 5. References of 3X06- 3XK, and 3X07- Almost Famous

Disclamier: I own nothing.

When I call him for the third time and still find his cell phone to be switched off, I call Javier.

'Hello.' His usual gruff-ey voice says.

'Hi, it's Jenny. Do you know where Kevin is? His cell phone is switched off, and I don't understand…' I let the sentence trail into nothingness and hold my breath.

He's silent for one moment. One moment when my worry increases exponentially and I have to force myself to stay calm.

Then he says, 'It's okay. He's with me.' I barely have time for letting my breath out in a sigh of relief when he adds, 'I'm driving him home right now.'

'You're driving him home? Why? Javier, what's wrong?' My voice sounds unnaturally high-pitched to my own ears.

'Jenny, calm down. Nothing's wrong. Ryan's all right. He was knocked out for a few minutes, that's all.'

'Knocked out…for a FEW MINUTES?' Javier can, no doubt, tell from my ever-rising voice that he is not helping, so he says, 'Here, talk to him.'

Moments later his voice comes on. 'Hello, baby.'

I have to work hard to keep my voice steady, because I can not believe how weak he sounds.

'Kevin. Oh, Kevin, what happened?'

'I…Castle and I went to the safe-house- the motel to pick up the guy who helped us with information on the Triple Killer', I remember Kevin telling me about him yesterday, 'only it turned out we'd got the wrong guy and HE was the killer all along.'

My blood is chilled- Kevin spent HOURS yesterday with that guy in the motel- alone, trying to find information about the killings HE apparently did.

Kevin was still talking, 'Castle figured that out, but Tyson got to me before I could do anything and knocked me out. He took my…', now he sounds even worse somehow, I can hear other things in his voice besides the obvious lack of energy, 'stuff.' He says finally. 'And then he fled. While I was lying unconscious, completely useless.'

And I realize it- he blames himself.

'Kevin,' I say sternly, 'don't you DARE put this on yourself. Did you go to the hospital?'

'Esposito got me checked out. I'm fine.'

'Okay.' I say a silent thank you to God. 'Now hang up, and come home. We can talk later.'

About 15 minutes later the doorbell rings. I can hear him argue with Javier even before I open the door. 'You did NOT have to deliver me right to my doorstep.', he is saying, 'I was capable of riding the elevator alone. Hell, I was capable of driving…'

'Shut up, bro.' I hear Javier's voice.

I open the door and suck in a sharp breath at the sight of my boyfriend.

He looks pale, and that is saying something, considering his natural skin-tone.

There are thin dark rings around his wrists. He did not tell me he was tied up.

He is standing; standing straight, yes, but I can see the weakness.

But what frightens me most is his eyes. The usual-sharp blue in them looks hazy. Dull.

I swallow, then pull him by his arm and guide him straight to the bedroom.

'Lie down.' I say. And when he obeys without any protest, somehow I feel worse.

I go back to the living room, offer Javier a beer, but he refuses. He offers to stay the night if it is necessary, I tell him it is not. I ask him about what the doctor said ('He just needs rest') and thank him for taking care of Kevin.

'That's what partners are for.' He says. Then he leaves.

Back in the bedroom, I help Kevin change. A few minutes later he is leaning back against the pillows, sipping warm honey- milk and I am sitting there trying to find out details about what actually happened.

He does not want to tell. From what he does say I gather he was very wrong-footed by the sudden discovery that their information-supplier for the case was actually the murderer, and I feel a pang of rage at Richard Castle. As far as I am concerned he should have pulled Kevin aside and tell him about his suspicions, he did not need to let the killer in on it.

But right now, I have bigger problems, because Kevin has finished his drink, and after a few moments of silence he looks at me and quietly says, 'He took my gun, Jenny. My gun and my badge.' And I see the blue has become less blue and more gray before he closes his eyes and takes deep breaths.

'Kevin.' I take his face between my palms. He opens his eyes and my heart breaks as I see hints of things in them I never want to see- sadness, doubt and guilt. 'Kevin, it-was-not-your-fault.' I emphasize on each syllable.

'I am a trained cop, Jenny. I should have been…'

'No!', I say forcefully, 'There is no 'should have been' here. You were caught off guard, and you were hurt. You are a wonderful cop, Kevin, and we both know that. Just because you had one incident like this doesn't mean you should doubt yourself.'

He looks at me silently, and I am so glad to see some of the blue tinge back in his eyes.

He sighs. 'I spent hours with the guy. How did I not know he was the killer?'

I almost laugh at that. 'Kevin! I'm not a cop and I even know that you can never tell by person's looks or by hanging out with him if he is a murderer. You meet people at your job everyday who have known someone for all their lives and suddenly they have discovered that someone was a killer. Plus,' I smile, 'you are the kind of person who wants to see the good in everyone. It's one of the reasons I love you so much.' As I talk, I see the gray clouds clear and the blue sky show.

He pulls me to him and I lie down beside him, with my head on his chest.

'What would I do without you, Jenny?', he murmurs.

I say nothing, just listen to his steady heartbeat and thank God for the hundredth time.

The next two days have their bad moments, moments when I fear the loss of blue to a dull colorless shadow of it, but it gets better.

Then one night he is talking about his latest case and the blue glints with humor as he says, 'So, Espo and I go to talk to the owner of the place that supplies male strippers, and…'

'And?' I raise my eyebrows.

'Let's just say the guy saw other talents in me.'

'He thought you should be a stripper?' I say, unbelieving.

He is half-smiling, half-frowning. 'Yeah. He said he had women requesting the 'skinny Twilight dude' all the time…'

'And with some body-glitter, you will be the perfect sparkly vampire of every girls' dream.' I start laughing.

'Sparkly vampire?' He is confused.

'You don't wanna know.', I say. 'What did Javier think of this, uh, development?'

'Oh, he was jealous.' He says matter-of-factly.

'Jealous?!' I'm torn between incredulity and laughter.

'Oh yes. Very.' He is smirking. 'He was so pissed that the guy dismissed him in an instant and picked ME.'

'You know', I observe, 'You seem a little too happy about all this. Maybe I should consider…taking you up on that angle some time.

'What do you mean?'

'You have a cop-uniform, right?' I say suggestively. 'And a pair of cuffs? Maybe we can…explore your talents.'

'Wha-, no way!' He looks horrified and I burst out laughing. And as I see his mouth slowly curve into a smile, the blue eyes dancing with light, I know that he is going to be okay, that we are going to be okay.

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