Thank you to those lovely people who reviewed the last chapter. Its my first fanfic so my first reviews as well. It was so awesome to think that someone is reading and enjoying this. This chapter is a long one, but the words kept coming. More soon. Keep on reviewing!
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Charlie had inherited a large property from Grandma Swan. Years ago she had divided the family acreage into a self sustaining ranch, complete with dormitories and outbuildings suitable for housing and feeding the volunteer workers or holiday makers that came her way. It was a beautiful spot in the valley. The main house overlooked a tranquil lake, there was room to grow small crops, raise small animals and generally live off the land. It was about two hours away from our hometown and in a relatively secluded area. Of late it had become run down and in need of attention. Charlie no longer employed a caretaker, the animals had found other homes and the crops had long since withered and died, along with any disposition Charlie may have had to keep the place up. He suggested that seeing "you young ones always travel in packs anyway," that we could spend some weekends and holidays up at the ranch in return for a bit of maintenance. Of course we jumped at the chance and it was soon 'our' place. Completely separate from any house belonging to our parents it became the back drop to some wonderful memories.
One holiday weekend we had all packed our gear and headed towards the ranch. It had been a warm day and our appointed task of mending the fences and cutting down the grass in the paddock had been quickly abandoned in favour of swimming in the lake and soaking up the sun. Evening found us sprawled out around the campfire, most of us in various stages of inebriation. Emmett and Rosalie had removed themselves to one of the visitors cabins for some private time and a series of grunts and giggles drifted out to the fireside making the rest of us laugh too. Eventually the boys drifted off to parts unknown and the girls were left together listening to the suggestive noises as they permeated the quiet. Soon enough the talk turned to sex. With the exception of Alice, we had all at least attempted it. This was Alice's first visit to the ranch. She had been joining our group more frequently and was becoming much bolder in her attempts to strike up a relationship with Jasper, even though the rest of us could clearly see he was smitten with her and would do anything she asked. Her face paled at the subject and while she had made it clear that she wasn't ready for that yet, she didn't leave the conversation, staying on to listen and perhaps learn. As for myself, Tyler had become sex obsessed. He was not content with making out for long and was always trying to touch harder, of reach further than the time before. I always seemed to be yearning for that burning flash of desire that Jasper had so rudely lit and then failed to quench, and so I allowed him to go a little further each time until he had inevitably taken my virginity.
Charlie had been away for the weekend fishing with his friend Billy. It was a rare weekend when we hadn't all travelled to the ranch, but stayed around town for some reason I can no longer recall. Tyler was sweet and kind. He kissed me gently, stroked gently between my legs until I was moist and willing and then took what I offered with respect if not love. It was okay, not as painful as I had imagined, but afterwards I was left wet and sticky and wondering what all the fuss was about. It was pleasurable sure, but not this earth shattering experience I had been told about. We got a little better at it with practice and there were times I could sense that something I was looking for, but never seemed to reach.
Finally after hearing the many details of couples intimate relationships I blurted out the question that had been invading my head. "So do you guys always umm, you know ... er finish?" It came out sounding slightly sceptical, like this wasn't a realistic possibility. I still thank goodness for starless nights that hide the surely purple hues of my face.
"God Bella," smirked Jessica, "if it doesn't happen every time, I guess you're not doing it right." Her snide remark inflamed my face further.
"I never seem to have any problems in that department!" she scoffed. Obviously her relationship with Mike Newton offered much more chemistry than mine had.
"Yeah, I usually do," offered Leah in a much less judgemental tone, "especially when Jake uses that tongue of his." My mind was spinning. Too many thoughts at once, like oh my god they've finally hooked up and his tongue, seriously, are you kidding me? Too much information to process.
"I only get there if I'm on top, but Ben will usually finish me off after so it's all good," pipes up Lauren.
"I'm sorry I asked!" I reply horrified. Oh my god! Everyone out here is enjoying a healthy sex life AND they're willing to disclose the details. Why did I open this can of worms? The girls continued their detailed discussion of intimate secrets while Alice took it all in, looking sicker by the minute. "Jasper's not going to be in to anything like that is he?" she asked me quietly. It was easy to see the fear and distaste in her eyes. I took her hand, trying to calm her. "Alice, I can honestly tell you that Jasper will never hurt you. He won't ever do anything that you don't want to and he will never force you into anything you wouldn't do willingly." She looked a little relieved, but unconvinced.
"There's more to love than sex ladies," called out Edward as he walked towards the lake with Emmett, who was sporting a grin like the Cheshire cat. Trust him to be so down to earth and sensible. As the conversation continued around me, I drifted off into my own thoughts. The sex thing seemed so easy and comfortable for all of them. It wasn't some searching quest towards an unobtainable goal. They all seemed to have chemistry. So it must have been me right? First Mike, who obviously bought such pleasure to Jessica, and now Tyler. I mean it was fun and all but it wasn't like the acts these girls were describing to each other.
My mind turned more and more inwards as I weighed this discovery. Everyone else had great sex. I had okay sex. My limited experiences had been good, well at least I thought they had been good up until now. What was I doing wrong? Was there something wrong with me that my experience wasn't like everyone else? I was so consumed with this question that I didn't hear Rosalie's approach or notice when she sat next to me. "It can take a while to get it right you know," she said quietly, drawing me from my thoughts. I looked up at her, startled by her sudden appearance and with the motherly advice. She was a good friend, but not exactly known for being close to the other girls, or for her nurturing nature. It was there though. Rosalie was like a mother bear - mess with one of her cubs and feel her claws. "I said, that it can take a while to get it right," she repeated. "It's not an automatic thing. I have great sex with Emmett, but it took some practice. You've got to learn from each other, communicate with each other about what works for you. You're not doing it wrong," she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.
She patted my knee and left me to mull over her words. I had had enough of the conversation and decided I would wander off myself. After closing up the gate for the night I found myself alone in the barn, full of the ghostly smell of animals that once called it home. I wandered aimlessly into one of the horse stalls exploring what was left of the old leathery horse gear. When I turned to leave, I was no longer alone in the stall. It seemed Jasper had found me again.
"What do you want," I said, exasperated, knowing full well why he had sought me out. He laughed gently by way of response. He was getting closer to me by the second. Too close for comfort. I couldn't be relied upon to make good decisions when Jasper was around. Before I could blink he had me pinned against the side of the stall, one cowboy shirted arm pushing against the wood above my head, the other settling on my hip. He ducked in quickly, stealing a kiss and along with it any resolve I had to send him away. He nuzzled my cheek with the tip of his nose, eventually dragging his tongue to my ear lobe, tasting and nibbling it and damn it, there was that slow burn again. "Mmm Jasper ...," I whispered. "We can't keep doing this." Brave words. I wanted nothing more than to keep doing this.
He chuckled gently into my ear and nipped a pathway down to my neck, my head thrown back to grant him easy access. "I don't see you trying to stop me Miss Scarlet." And it was true. No matter how wrong it was, no matter that I was dating Tyler, I was absolutely powerless to stop Jasper from the minute he touched me. As his kisses became more heated and persistent, I felt his hand move up underneath my cotton shirt. At first he cupped my breast tenderly, allowing me to get used to the sensation. What was I talking about, I am used to the sensation - Tyler's touched me there before. And then it was more. He stroked his thumb over my nipple, it hardened instantly. Jaspers fingers found it and began to tweak and tease. It was incredible. Oh my god, Tyler's never touched me like that. My brain was in instant overdrive. My chest seemed to push forward of its own accord seeking more. There was a flood of wetness between my legs and my only coherent thought was oh god don't stop. But he did stop, just long enough to push up my shirt and bra before attaching his lips to that aching stalk of flesh. At first he suckled gently, suckling it before tracing patterns with his tongue, slowly becoming rougher as my sensitivity rose and my need increased. My breath escaped in a series of small sighs and I found myself lightheaded and craving oxygen. Why didn't it feel like this all the time? Slowly Jasper's hands crept downwards, along my chest, under my breasts. His tongue continued its silent worship, while his hands slipped beneath the waistband of my shorts, cupping my ass. Pulling me closer to him. He was hard. I could feel him pressing against me. That can't all be Jasper surely, he must have something in his pocket. Before I could contemplate this further, or explore for myself, his hands brushed around to my mound rubbing it gently. I froze. My body was screaming for more and my mind was screaming for him to stop. This wasn't right, it couldn't be happening. He couldn't keep doing this to me. I couldn't do this to Tyler. In the next moment, his agile fingers danced across my bundle of nerve endings, spreading around the rapidly increasing wetness. A fully fledged moan resounded in the small space. I couldn't believe that primal sound had come from me. Jasper slowed his ministrations, drawing away and looking into my eyes. Not again, he is not stopping again, no way! My internal voice mused. My external voice was much louder and direct. "If you stop this time I'll fucking kill you," I muttered, blown away with my own audacity and choice of language.
"Best keep it quiet then Scarlet," he smirked. I was starting to associate the name Scarlet with being a scarlet woman rather than as a descriptor of my embarrassment. Jasper never used my name during these encounters. I tried to follow instructions, really I did, but when he pushed a finger inside of me, circling my aching clit with his thumb, I couldn't help but whimper. And when he added a second finger I had no choice but to fist my hands in his shirt and bury my face in his neck to muffle the sounds. As he began to pump his fingers in and out of me I felt that familiar burning intensity centring between my legs. The beginning of that undeniable yearning for more. When Jasper increased his pressure on that swollen bud, while curling the fingers inside me upward, something within me broke and I hurtled headlong into a state of pleasure, my orgasm catching me unawares and washing over me like the floodwaters of a broken dam. My first orgasm. Who knew! It is possible after all. I clung to Jasper weakly, trying to catch my breath, waiting for my legs to revert from jelly back into flesh and bone. Jaspers removed his hand from my shorts, again resting it on my hips. He leaned closer, his eyes dark. As his face moved towards mine I thought he would finally kiss me, with feeling, not passion, but instead he leaned in to my ear and whispered, "If he can't make you do that every time, then he's doing it wrong, not you." I gazed into his eyes for a moment, before realizing that he was pulling away. He offered me a sad smile and then turned and walked away, leaving me alone in the barn, my still short breathing echoing in my ears. Shaking my head in disbelief I righted my clothing and spent a few minutes leaning against the wall of the horse stall begging the flush to leave my face before I ventured out to the more populated areas. As I left the barn, preoccupied with the running replay of events in my head, I failed to notice the figure sitting in the shadows chuckling quietly to himself.
I slept well that night, whether due to the physical and mental exhaustion of my encounter with Jasper, or the fact that my body was for once relieved I'll never know. I did not realise how much I would need that rest to get through the day ahead. After waking happy, content and sated, I showered, dressed and headed out to the common area of the main house. The other guys usually wandered in and out using this kitchen for meal preparation. When I walked into the kitchen, my heart sank and my stomach felt as if it were filled with ice cold stones. Alice sat on the bench and Jasper stood before her, one hand each side of her thighs. They were kissing. The soft, slow kiss of new love. My emotions were in such a tangle I thought I would vomit. I knew he was in love with her, this shouldn't come as a surprise ... but after last night?
"Oh, er, ... sorry," I stammered before turning and rushing out of the kitchen. My brief angry flight found me sitting on the fence to the horse paddock, the one we were supposed to be repairing, gazing out towards the lake. Jasper found me there a few minutes later. He simply strode up in his slinky cowboy way and stood with his hands on his hips staring at me. This time I stared back.
"So we're not even going to talk about it?" I spat at him.
"It is what it is Bella." Oh now he uses my name! Jasper simply shrugged his shoulders, and then turned and walked away.
For the rest of the day I was poor company. I raged at the world, my internal monologue was ceaseless, Tyler didn't know what he'd done wrong and I couldn't stop berating myself for not stopping Jasper. In the end I thought I would remove myself from the group, instead walking to the far side of the lake where I could swim and relax in the shade, yet remove myself from the company of others. It was a peaceful afternoon, just what the doctor ordered. I was lying on the ground, letting the sun warm my shattered ego and dry my hair when I felt a presence next to me. Jacob had come looking for me. "We're all heading out soon, I thought I'd come and see if you wanted to ride with us?" he asked as he spread out in the sun next to me.
"Thanks Jake, that would be great."
"It's been a good weekend, even if we didn't get the fences finished," he said, making polite conversation.
"They're always good weekends, even when we manage to do a little work," I laughed. Every time I left this place I couldn't wait to come back.
"You certainly had a good time last night Scarlet," he said, wiggling his eyebrows at me.
What did he just say? My jaw dropped and I sat bolt upright, almost hyperventilating from the shock. He knew. He was the shadow in the barn. My gums just flapped in the air as the power of speech deserted me.
"Relax Bella," Jake chuckled, barely holding back the laughter. "Your secret's safe with me. I'm not gonna rat you out."
"Jake ... I ... it's not ... we ..." the words just wouldn't come.
"Bella! Chill! Take your happiness where you find it. You're only young once and life is short." He smiled genuinely at me, taking my hand. "Just make sure it's happiness you're getting. I don't like the way he treats you." His eyes were cloudy and I could see he was wanting to say more and biting back the words. And then the familiar twinkle was back as he said, "besides, if you just need to get off, any one of us guys would volunteer no strings attached - you only gotta ask!" Then the tension was broken and we both laughed. He pulled me to my feet and we started walking back towards the ranch. The silence was comfortable. He didn't need details and I didn't need to reveal them. It was almost a relief to think that after all this sneaking around, someone had known. Besides, it's not like it's ever going to happen again.