A little bit extra I churned out over the weekend to lead in to the next chapter. Just a taste to keep you going.
After Bella left, there was a pretty awkward silence around the fire. The boys stayed immersed in their own thoughts for a few moments, sipping at their beers as they heard Bella enter the main house, and then quickly turn off the lights, going to bed and leaving them to their silence.
"So, is that what you had planned Jake? To show her just how inexperienced she was?" Jasper voice was deceivingly calm. Only the hardness of his eyes indicating the blame he was sending Jacob's way.
"Hell no! I had no idea it was as bad as all that. I'd never have started the conversation if I'd thought it would make her that uncomfortable. Man, is it any wonder she went to ground after Tyler groped her in front of everyone! First you, then him. That's fucked up."
"Me? What do you mean me?"
Jacob looked over at Jasper with his mouth hanging open. "You really got no idea do you?" He was greeted with Jasper's blank stare. "For an experienced guy, you are really dumb. Haven't you heard anything she said in the last couple of days?" More staring. "Where do I start . . . I know you've been sneakin' around with her for a while now. I know because I saw the two of you together in the barn, but I suspected before that because I SAW the two of you together. You have shared something with her that no other guy has. YET. There was one night where the two of you went to get the pizza. When you came back, all soaking wet, she had that glow to her cheeks like something good at happened, but man, was she pissed. I couldn't work it out until that night in the barn. Well, the morning after to be exact." Jacob paused, thinking that at any moment now Jasper would respond. That he would finally admit to what was really going on underneath the few physical episodes that Jacob had described. He was mistaken. Jasper met his stare with stony eyes and silence.
"Do tell guru," Jasper muttered around a mouthful of beer. "You seem to have it all sorted out."
"Do I really need to put this together for you? So far, for her, sex means rejection. You get her all worked up every time you walk into her general vicinity. It's a wonder no-one else has notice the sparks flying. And then that night in the barn ... you could have had her anyway you pleased. She made it very clear that she wanted you. And you know damn well you wanted her too, but you still walked away, and then the next day, you're with Alice. I know you've had feelings for Alice for a long time dude, but that had to have hurt her. She got rejected, passed over, not good enough for you. Tyler didn't care enough to make it good for her, then he embarrassed the hell out of her in front of everyone and left. More rejection."
"Come on Jacob, you know that's not how I wanted it to go down. Alice, was ... bad timing, but it's always been Alice."
Well Jasper, maybe it was always Alice. And somehow, Bella knows that. She still talks to you, she's forgiven you, and hell she's even worried about you and Alice and how things are going. But last night when you said that you could live without sex, that just being with Alice was enough, were you listening?
"I heard her Jake. She said she understood."
"No Jas. That wasn't it. She said she knows how you feel. SHE KNOWS HOW YOU FEEL! She knows because she feels the same way. She's in love with you dammit!"
"And why are you so worked up over that Jake?"
Jacob stopped, taking inventory of the feelings coursing through him at that moment.
Why was he so worked up. He hadn't really researched that thought too carefully.
"Look Jasper. I'm not in love with her if that's what you're thinking. But I'm not going to hurt her either. If she wants anything from me - she can have it. Anything from a barn yard special to a full on relationship. If I can put that look on her face cos she's cumming, even just once it's worth it. But you need to step back and let her make that decision for herself. Hell, you need to let her know that any decision she does make for herself is okay with you because you're out of the picture. Unless, you don't want to be out of the picture. And if that's the case, then sort out your shit with Alice and get to it. The girl can't wait forever."
"Jake ... I, I don't ... I can't be with her. I'm not what she needs ..."
"Jasper, I don't want to hear it. That is for you and her to decide and I don't need to add that to the list of things I shouldn't know. All I'm saying is, you're either with her, or you're with Alice and you need to make that choice and let Bella make her choices too. I'm not here to judge either of you, and if you decide to keep sneaking around, I won't interfere, in fact I'll even promise not to watch ... but don't let something go because you're afraid of it. Bella isn't Alice."
"In more ways than you can ever imagine ..."
They didn't speak again that night.