Chapter 7
"Anastasia, how can I help you?" the doctor asked.
Ana tried to make the words came out but instead a load of garbled noises did.
"Ana has been making herself sick" Kate said getting right to the point.
The doctor was silent for a moment. "Is this true Anastasia?" she asked and Ana nodded.
"When did this start?" the doctor asked and pursed her lips making Ana squirm.
"While I was in the hospital last week" Ana finally said.
The doctor nodded. "What do you think the next step for you should be Anastasia?".
"I really don't know Doctor".
"I'm going to recommend that you see a therapist Anastasia, I can give you a list of some that I recommend if you like".
"No, no that's okay. I already know the therapist that I'm going to see, thank you anyway" Ana said.
Ana hated the thought of having to go and see a therapist but she was didn't know what the doctor would do if she didn't.
"I also think you would benefit from some group therapy, I run a group for young people here at the surgery on a Thursday evening, would you be interested?".
"Okay" Ana clearly wasn't thrilled about the idea but she needed a way to get Kate and Christian off her back.
"Great, well you can come tonight then. Be here at 5pm" the doctor said. "Was there anything else?".
"I was wondering if you could give Ana any tips on beating this" Kate said.
"That is what the group therapy is for and Anastasia if you want I can refer you to someone who specialises in eating disorders".
"Can I think about that and get back to you?" Ana asked.
"Of course. I would like to see you in a fortnights time. When can you come?".
"In the evening preferably but any day is fine for me" Ana answered.
"Great, how about 4.30pm on Thursday in a fortnight's time?".
"Yeah, that works for me".
Ana and Kate thanked the doctor and then they left.
"Well that's good that you are getting some help now" Kate said trying to sound positive.
Ana nodded. "I have a appointment at the hospital in a few days too".
"You didn't say anything about that".
"I didn't think I needed to Kate, I mean I appreciate this but this does not mean you have to look after me now".
"I know that, I'm just trying to help Ana".
"I know, I know. I'm sorry, I don't mean to keep snapping at you".
"I know. How about we go shopping?".
"Don't you have work?" Ana asked.
"Don't you?" Kate asked and looked at her.
They both giggled. "Alright, I'm in".
Christian paced his office, he had spent the morning researching anorexia. He was now overloaded with information and statistics. He felt like he had done nothing but be scare mongered.
He was starting to panic, he didn't want any of the things he had just read about to happen to Ana but he was a little relieved that he now knew the signs. He couldn't believe how much he had missed.
Christian sat in his chair and dialled Dr Flynn's number.
"Dr Flynn, its Christian".
"I need to see you this afternoon if possible".
"Great, I will see you at 4 then".
Christian planned to go to Dr Flynn's office to talk about Ana, he needed to know what he could do to help her. He knew that he hadn't done a great job of it until now but he didn't realise just how serious Ana's problems could be.
Christian couldn't help but think that he had caused Ana's relapse and he wanted to – he needed to be able to fix it and he hoped that Dr Flynn could help him figure out how to do that, until then he wanted to keep Ana close to him but he couldn't get hold of her or Kate.
Christian hated not knowing how to deal with this, he didn't like not being able to handle this in the way that he was used to but he knew even if he tried that it wouldn't help this time.
For now he tried to stop thinking about all of the information that he had found on the internet but it wouldn't stop going round in his head, he couldn't stop himself trying to think of things that could of made Ana have this eating disorder in the first place, there was so much that he didn't know about her and he hated it.
Christian busied himself with work for the next few hours and when it was time he left his office and drove to Dr Flynn's office.
"Hello Christian".
"Hello John, thank you for agreeing to see me on such short notice".
"Not a problem Christian, what can I help you with today?".
"I was wondering what you could tell me about Ana" Christian asked thoughtfully.
"What about Anastasia would you like to know Christian?" Dr Flynn asked carefully.
"I would like to know about her eating disorder, and about eating disorders in general. What kind of thing can cause someone to get an eating disorder?".
"Well a lot of things can contribute to someone developing an eating disorder, low self esteem, depression, anxiety, bullying, abuse. It could be any number of things Christian".
Christian nodded and was silent for a moment. "How long could an eating disorder last?".
"I'm not really sure what you mean Christian".
"Is an eating disorder for life or is it something someone can get over?".
"With the right support and treatment people who suffer from eating disorders can make a full recovery but it is possible for someone to relapse if they suffer a emotional trauma".
"Like a break up?".
"That could be a reason of a relapse yes but it could also be many other things" Dr Flynn was clearly trying to choose his words carefully. "This seems to be bothering Christian, why don't we talk about that?".
"I just want to know how to help Ana".
"Anastasia is going to need support from everyone in her life at the moment, you should be there for her, listen if she wants to talk but don't treat her any differently to you did before".
"I think its the way I treat her before that caused this".
"What do you mean?".
Christian sighed. "It's complicated... I'm not sure where to begin to be honest. Ana and I had an experience that she didn't like that lead to her telling me that I should never contact her again to put it politely".
"You think that is what caused Ana's relapse?".
"That is the reason that I keep coming back to, yes".
"I have to question why you are blaming yourself for this Christian, Anastasia could have had other pressures at the time, such as school and work".
"Yes but if it were any other reason then that raises the question she only seemed to break after our relationship ending" Christian said and wiped his brow.
"That is something only Anastasia can answer Christian" Dr Flynn told him, "I understand that yours and Ana's relationship is back on now?".
"Yes it is".
"Have you thought of ways that you are going to cope with being with Anastasia now that this information has come about?".
"What do you mean?".
"Well I got the impression the experience that you were talking about was... not the usual reason that couple's argue".
"Well you are right there".
"In that case if what you think is true, that your experience caused Anastasia's 'relapse' then maybe you need to avoid being in that situation with her again".
"I have already decided that nothing like that will be happening between me and Ana again".
Dr Flynn nodded. "Christian, I have to ask, was this about the way you like to keep control?".
"Yes".
"Then you need to find a way to still feel like you have the control that you think you need and be able to have the relationship that you want with Anastasia".
"I don't think that I need to be in total control of things when it comes to Ana, not anymore".
Dr Flynn was taken back by this, the whole time he had been Christian's therapist his control issues had always been an issue for him.
"Well that sounds like some real progress but I think that the need you had for control was bigger than something that can just go away because of one person, I think that you are going to have to find another outlet for your need for control" Dr Flynn explained.
"What would you suggest?" Christian asked curiously. He had thought that since the feeling that he needed to control everything in his life had gone away that would be the end of it, he hadn't thought that he might need to replace the outlet to which he got his control.
"You need to find something else that you can be in control of, something that will replace your previous outlets".
"That wasn't all about control, it was about pleasure too Dr Flynn".
"I know that but from when we have spoken before I have understood that a lot of it was about the control you had".
Christian nodded.
"It has to be your choice what you do but like I said, you do need to find some way to replace that".
"I have to go now but thank you Dr Flynn, this has been very helpful".
"I'm glad I could be of some help to you Christian. Good night".
"Good night John" Christian left the office and got back in his car.
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