Thanks again to Arabella Whitlock for doing her thing! It seems I have annoyed a few readers by letting Bella choose Jake last chapter. What can I say, the story seems to have a life of its own and the course of true love never runs smoothly. Can I just gently and tactfully remind readers that all authors put themselves into their work and we are all putting ourselves out there when we let you read it. It is your choice to read it, but its not always under our control to meet your wishes. Play nice people. Don't hate Jake and be kind when you review.

It must have been about mid-morning when I finally woke. The day was fine and the sunlight streamed in through the open curtains. I remembered opening them in the wee hours of the morning to watch the lightning in the distance. I remembered a good many other things about last night too and wondered what this day would bring. There were many possibilities, and one certainty. The others would arrive today. As much as I had enjoyed my time alone with Jasper and Jacob and the love/hate relationship I held with our fireside confessions, I was still looking forward to seeing Emmett and Rosalie and all the others again. My ranch was a sanctuary for me and I loved spending time here alone or with the ones I love, but there was certainly room to house us all, and the place really did come alive with more willing bodies to look after it. I think Grandma Swan would have been proud of what we'd done with the place in the last year.

I could hear voices down the stairs and I knew that Jake and Jas were already up and about. It was well past our usual go time, and I had broken the routine but not being there to make the breakfast. It had been a long time since I had slept so well. The afterglow from last night's exploits had begun to wear off and I was feeling a little awkward as to what would happen next. Did Jacob expect me to be his girlfriend now and be with him in front of everyone? Did I want to be his girlfriend? Did Jasper know what had happened between us? My mind was working overtime and the anxiety was building up quickly. I heard approaching footsteps and wondered which of them had come to get me this morning, and what they would think of my current condition. While neither of the boys tended to walk unannounced into my bedroom, in the past I'd had nothing to hide. This morning found me decidedly naked between sticky sheets with an A grade case of sex hair. Jacob, of course, would understand. Jasper maybe not so much.

Fortunately, it was Jacob's head that appeared around the door. "I thought you might prefer me to wake you this morning," he whispered, silent laughter crinkling around his eyes.

"Probably for the best," I nodded, biting my lip. In seconds he had crossed the floor and was lying next to me. His thumb brushed my lip, tugging it from between my teeth before pulling it between his own lips, kissing me deeply. I wanted him again instantly, and I could feel him beginning to stiffen even though the bedding and his clothing separated us.

"I think you'd better quit that and get dressed Bella, or I'm going to take you again right now and I won't care who's downstairs listening." Jacob groaned and tore himself away from me.

"Ok, ok, I'll get up ... and dressed, but don't go anywhere, I want to talk to you about something."

"I'll wait here, there's something I got to ask you too."

I quickly showered and dressed, feeling very aware of every movement of my body and sensation on my skin. I felt hyper-aware since last night, every little thing making the memories of a touch, fingers or tongue spring to the surface. I badly wanted to change the bed and put on a load of laundry, but thought it may be just a bit too obvious for Jasper if I marched downstairs with my sheets in my arms. It would have to wait. Now it was time to face Jake and the question I needed to ask. And whatever it was he wanted to ask me.

"Still here?" I asked, fiddling nervously with the hem of my shirt.

"Of course. You wanted to talk to me." He sat on the end of the bed, looking up at me slightly concerned. My courage had now fled and I didn't know how to phrase my question without either sounding petulant or like a bitch. I began to gnaw on my lower lip again. Jacob stood, and again used his thumb to extricate my lip from my teeth. The now familiar electricity flowed again between my legs at his touch. "Don't go quiet now. You've been getting better at saying what's on your mind. It's just me Bells, same as its always been. What do you need to say?"

"I don't know how to say it without it coming out badly, so I'm just going to jump right in here. Don't judge me please?" I paused, looking up in to his now more worried eyes.

"I don't know what ... I mean ... what happens ...um, I mean ... where ...," I faltered, almost ready to give up.

"You want to know where things are at between us after last night don't you?" he said, knowing everything, yet again.

"Um, yeah ..." half a question, half a statement. Queue the blush.

"We're wherever you're comfortable being. This time you lead and I'll follow. If you don't want to be any more than friends that's ok. If you just want to practice what we did last night in secret, that's ok. If you want to go full Emmett and Rosalie in front of everyone, I won't lie, that would be ok too. I know you weren't looking for a relationship, just a release and I'm happy for you to steer this where you want it when you're ready for it. Good enough?"

"Yes Jake. Good enough. Thank you for knowing me so well. I don't know what I want right now and I'd like to just keep it between us until I work it out, if you're good with that?" Could I really be that lucky that he would be satisfied with that answer? It seemed so.

"It's fine. Let's just see where it goes and maybe have some fun along the way." He smirked at me and I felt myself relax again. I was just getting used to being Bella's Bella, without having to work out who Jake's Bella was too.

"Did you want to ask me something?"

And here was a side of Jake I had never seen. His smile disappeared, he literally broke out in a sweat and his Adam's apple was suddenly too big for his throat and he seemed to be constantly trying to swallow it down. What on earth was he going to ask? I was getting worried!

"Um ... yeah...," he stammered, so completely unsure of himself. "Well, last night ... I, look, I don't know what to say, I didn't plan on that happening, and then, when it did happen, I couldn't have stopped myself if I tried, but now ... oh god. Umm. I'm usually so responsible, do I need to take you to a doctor or something?"

I wasn't quite following. Did he think that after one night with him I would need medical attention? Why? I mean he was pretty devastating in bed, but I didn't think I needed repairs. I was a little sore sure, but nothing requiring a doctor. The blank look on my face urged him on.

"Oh god ... ummm, what I'm trying to say is ... last night, when we were together, you know, in bed together ... I um, I didn't use anything. I'll look after you Bells, no matter what, you know that, but maybe if we go to the docs now ..."

"Holy shit! Jake stop panicking! I'm on the pill."

"Oh thank fuck for that!" Jake collapsed back on to the bed, letting out his breath in one big whoosh, tension leaving his body. I was both amused and horrified. I could understand his discomfort and concern, there's a whole other trust issue at stake when sex is unprotected. Not that I'd ever had unprotected sex. But I hadn't realised Jake would take it so seriously. He couldn't have known that I was protected I guess, but his reaction was perhaps a little over the top. Accidents could be taken care of, I hadn't purposely set out to ruin his life.

He collected his thoughts then and looked over to see my somewhat confused expression. It finally dawned on him what he must have sounded like. "Oh god, Bella! I didn't mean it like that... I just ... God I'm making a mess of this..."

Aaah, here it was, the rejection that inevitably followed any sort of pleasurable encounter for me. Now he would tell me it had been a mistake and he just wanted to be friends. That he never meant for last night to happen, or more likely still, he would just go about the rest of his life as if what we shared together never existed. And besides, apart from some really great sex, what had we shared together? I was still trying to decide. I felt myself putting up those internal walls again, beginning to draw back into myself for preservation. I would not regret last night, but I would not put myself out there to be hurt and used again.

"Bella! Stop doing that to me!" Jake's voice was raised. He was clearly angry with me. In a second he was off the bed and pulling me close to him. He brushed his hand through my hair and kissed my cheek. "I'm not him Bella. Last night was not a onetime thing for me unless that's the way you want it to be. All I meant was, that I don't think you want to be winding up pregnant. I know you've got college plans and your whole life ahead of you. It scared me to think I may have jeopardised all that. Hell, I'm not ready to go down that road yet either! It was not meant to come out like I didn't want you. We already talked about this. You lead and I'll follow."

He was right. I had to stop leaping off the cliff at every ambiguous comment. I relaxed into his arms and soon found myself seeking his lips again. After a few moments Jake spoke again. "I meant what I said before. You need to stop now before I can't stop, unless you want an audience."

"Do you think Jasper knows?" I ask.

"I don't think he knows, but he probably suspects. Or at least he will when he sees you. By the end of our conversation last night, you were pretty wound up, and this morning you're pretty relaxed. The way you carry your body tells the tale for you. Is it a problem that he knows?"

"No ... it's just... I turned him down last night. After you left the fireside he ... never mind."

"It's okay Bells. I know how it is with you two. You never have to choose him over me or me over him as far as I'm concerned. Though I am glad you turned him down last night. I don't think his head is really in the game yet. He's sort of in a limbo between you and Alice."

"I didn't want to hurt him. And I don't want you to think that I only did ... that ... with you because I couldn't with him. Last night was good, really good." And I am red all over again, burying my face in the warmth of his chest.

"Yes Bells, it was really good and it will be again if you want it to be." We were quiet for a minute. Just enjoying the peacefulness and acceptance of standing in each other's arms.

"Jake, can I ask you something else?"

"Always."

"Why didn't you stay last night? You were gone when I woke up."

"It just didn't seem like the right thing to do. I didn't think you would want me to. If and when you're ready for that, you'll tell me."

This man knows everything. "Thanks Jake."

"Bells, we really should go down now."

"Yeah I know." Time to face the day. Time to face Jasper and time to get things set up for the arrival of our other friends.

I went down the stairs in deep concentration, being careful not to trip and using this as an excuse not to immediately meet Jasper's eyes. Jake bolted down after me, grabbed some fruit and muttering something about chores, disappeared in to the yard. Eventually I dragged my eyes up to Jasper's, knowing full well that he had been watching me since I entered the room. That one look gave me all the information I needed. His eyes were dark and distressed. He had obviously found sleep as hard to come by as I had before Jacob's intervention.

"I see you've made your choice," his words were dejected but not bitter.

"Like I said to you last night Jas, I'm not making any choices right now. I just let myself have some fun. Nothing about our situation has changed since last night unless you broke up with Alice and neglected to tell me."

"Nothing has changed! ... How can you say that? You were with him last night. I can tell you two fucked! How can you say nothing has changed?"

My turn to be angry. "Don't you dare talk to me that way! You gave me the ultimatum, tell you what I felt before you'd touch me. And yet you're still with Alice. It's always about you and Alice! It's okay for you to have her and play with me on the side, getting me all riled up and never following through. But let me tell you something - Jake was prepared to follow through. Yes we fucked and it was damn good too - but nothing has changed from my perspective. I haven't chosen anyone. I'm not in a relationship with anyone! I just got to do something I wanted. Sort your shit out before you start trying to be involved in mine." Rage was an emotion I was not familiar with. If flooded my body and coursed through my veins like liquid fire. A flash fire that burned brilliant and hot, scouring everything in its path and leaving cold ashes in its wake. It evaporated as suddenly as it had begun, when I once again took stock of Jasper's broken face. He was a broken man. Shoulders slumped, eyes downcast, attitude defeated. Immediately I wanted to take back my outburst and hold him close until he felt better.

I tentatively stepped towards him, pulling him closer like mother to son, resting his head on my shoulder and rubbing up and down his back. "I'm so sorry Jas, I didn't mean any of it. Honest. I haven't chosen him, I just wanted to feel good for a while. I never meant to hurt you." But I had hurt him, badly. More than I could have ever imagined.

We stood like that for a while, until I felt the life come back into him, until I could feel him physically pulling himself back together. "It's ok Scarlet. We'll sort it out somehow."

He relinquished our embrace to take my hands and kiss me softly. "I'm a little hurt because I wanted to be the one in your room last night. I want to be the one to make you look like that when you enter a room. But I know I can't be that right now. Don't write me off yet. Give me some time to work things out."

"I can't make any promises Jas. I'm not making any decisions today, but things will happen one way or another. The next move is yours."

"I know that, just, be my Scarlet til we sort this out."

"Always Jas."

That little word always can have so many definitions. It would become a very tested promise over the next few years. Jasper may have hurt me in the past and been oblivious to my feelings. But today I had done some damage of my own. It would be a while before I noticed just how much.