The first few weeks were the hardest. Matt had tried balancing a schedule that was too disproportionate to his needs both as a firefighter and as a fiance, let alone doing what he needed to survive as a person. He would go to work from the hospital, do his shift, then go back to Gabby's side, never going home. He didn't know what else to do, didn't want to lose a minute away from Gabby because this could be all they had left.

Herrmann and Severide noticed this routine, going by the apartment a couple times a week to see if Casey might just actually be there this time. And each time, they ended up at the hospital watching him sleep in the chair next to Dawson in the same clothes he'd been wearing for weeks that he'd wash once at the firehouse for every three shifts. They knew it couldn't go on, couldn't let Casey slowly waste away into self-destruction, so they took it to Boden.

"We're worried, Chief," Severide said, the three of them in Boden's office three weeks after Gabby's accident. "It's not healthy, it's not safe."

"He doesn't talk to anyone, Chief. Only time is on a call telling us what to do," Herrmann added, remembering that seemingly small detail that was extremely important. "As far as we can tell, he hasn't been back to his apartment since it happened, wearing the same clothes. We never see him eat anything," Herrmann trailed off. Boden nodded, understanding the concern of the two.

"I'll talk to him," Boden promised, "and I'll see what I can figure out or do."

The next day on shift, Boden called Casey into his office, his own concern adding to those of Casey's colleagues. He wasn't sure what to do in this situation, being one of the few situations he'd never before encountered in the Fire Department - mainly because he had broken rules which led to the situation. Boden sat in the chair and motioned for Casey to sit on the couch.

"I know this is a hard time for you, but you need to talk to someone, Casey," Boden told him. "Everyone is worried about you. I've been told you're not eating, you haven't been home since the accident, that you've been wearing the same clothes since the accident. It's not healthy," Boden told him slowly, taking a deep breath.

"I'm fine, Chief, really," Casey told him. His voice was raspy, airy even. Boden could see through him, and Casey knew it. "I'm not fine," he said, giving in. It wasn't worth lying when they all knew everything was in the drain for him. "I can eat, I can't sleep, I can't function. Right before we got that call, I was talking to Gabby because our relationships hadn't been on the best terms, so we talked. And I told her that I can't question my decisions, but now I am, Chief. Every decision I make out there I'm questioning. Do you want to know why? Because it should be me in that hospital bed," Casey ranted, out of breath by the end.

"Why do you believe it should be you?" Boden asked, worried. It wasn't like Casey to say these types of things, always able to hold self-doubt at bay.

"She pushed me out of the way. We were at the third floor landing, she was on the step behind me. Next thing I know I'm being shoved and there's a hole in the floor where I was standing." Casey sighed, knowing that the truth was out, that it was his fault this had happened. "And now I wonder if I did things right. Should I have taken Herrmann with me and sent Gabby with Severide? Should I have been the one following and let her lead? Should we have taken a different floor? How can I make decisions for my team when I doubt myself every time?" he questioned, not sure of what to do. He hadn't taken time off since everything happened, just immersed himself in his work and in Gabby.

"Here's what you're going to do," Boden started. "You're gonna take a couple weeks off, actually go home and get some sleep. Talk to Chaplain, talk to Severide, talk to Gabby. You can't hold all this in, Casey, it will eat you alive," he stressed. "Herrmann will take over for you until you get back, and don't rush it. It'll take time, but you're strong. This isn't the first time this has happened, and you made it through the first time, you can do it again." Casey nodded and stood.

"Permission to leave shift?" he asked. Boden nodded and allowed Casey to leave his office.

"Send Herrmann in on your way out," he told Casey, who only nodded in agreement. What Casey had told Boden was unsettling, knowing what it's like to doubt yourself when in a position where that can be detrimental to your own sanity. He sat there until Herrmann walked in.

"So, Chief? Is everything okay?" he asked, sitting on the couch.

"Casey's not taking it very well. He's taking some time off, and until then, you're going to be acting lieutenant on Truck 81," Boden told him with a small nod. Herrmann nodded back, standing and leaving. As Boden watched him leave, he thought back to Casey. He wasn't sure what there was to do for the man, not sure if there was even a possibility of Casey coming back from this, knowing that Gabby brought him back the first time from the pits of the self-destruction.