Chapter five: So close, but miles apart.

Love knows not distance; it hath no continent; its eyes are for the stars. - Gilbert Parker

As Darcy entered his room, he immediately sat on a chair, but in vain he could not calm himself. He had never felt more doomed in his entire life. She still despised him and if not so, then she certainly did not feel anything at all. All the hopes he gained from her letter, now they were vanished. He knocked, he knocked her door as he said he would do. But she did not reply. She did not care for him at all. How could he bare such an emptiness inside him? Because, with this rejection, she took away everything that was left to him. He was a dead man, indeed!

He needed something to drink, something strong. Not branch, he wanted whiskey. When he entered the drawing room, he found Bingley reading his book. But, without saying to him, he took the whole bottle with him and exited the room. This was going to be very hard. He was well aware that he was not going to forget her that easily, she was his life and everything that life, he wished it would be.

The next morning, Darcy could still feel the emptiness inside him. The drink had not helped at all, neither the sleep. He was seated, with the Bingley family in the dinning room, taking breakfast. While, brother and sister were talking, he kept looking at his full plate.

"Mr. Bingley" Jane yelled as she entered the room "We must call the doctor"

Everyone stood up, and approached the young lady, who seemed to be out of breath "What happened, dear?" her fiance asked.

"My sister" she cried "She is not well at all, she is burning up"

Darcy stopped breathing for one moment, he was going to lose her, not that she was his. But no, not this. He could not let her die, he could not let her leave him in that way. "I'll go and fetch the doctor, immediately"

"I am going to lose her, am I not?" She asked.

Everyone was going to lose her and especially Darcy himself, who had not even the chance to make her his, in the most honorable way at least.

The doctor said that she had a high fever, due to a cold, nothing to worry about. But, nobody could rest until they were certain that she was alright again. It was night when the doctor left and Jane, stayed at her sister's side. She had not woken up since yesterday and that was not very promising. But eventually when she did, she found Jane sleeping next to her, holding her hand. She looked so peaceful, like an angel.

Elizabeth had left more alive than before, she had her senses and her ankle did not hurt so much as it did before. Her fever had calmed down a little bit. She wore a plain white dress and her hair was not so perfect, but it did not matter really. She tried to stood up, but she could not move her left foot. With effort, she tried to stood up from bed silently, not to wake up Jane. When she finally did, she touched the wall, just to balance herself. Her ankle did hurt a lot when she tried to move it, so she tried not to. She approached the table just to drink water. She was so exhausted, but she could not fall asleep again. The best way to entertain herself was to find a book. She looked around the room just to find one, but in vain, there was none.

It took her almost half an hour to reach the library of Netherfield. It was not far from the room she was, but her ankle did not help her move quickly. In fact, she left like she was walking like a turtle, or even slower. When, she finally entered, she immediately gone to the poem section. All she wanted now, was to read Byron. He always helped her relax and it seemed to be her best companion lately. No, even though she loved Pope and his reality , it was Byron she needed.

But when she was about to take away the book with her, she remembered his words. "Let me in... " She stopped breathing. She had totally forgot that he was here. But, did he really knock? She could not remember a thing. Maybe he did, when she was asleep. But if he really did, that meant that he thought her indifferent. But she wasnt. What a mess! For one second, she thought that she should immediately explain to him and make amends, but her second thought prevented her. Because, she remembered Lady Catherine. "He's engaged to my daughter, what do you say about that now?" She touched the wall again to prevent herself from falling, her ankle did hurt enormously, but that was not the only cause. Her legs were shaking. With effort, she sat on the chair, just to gain strength. She remained there couple of seconds, but when she tried to stood up again, she could not. She opened the book and started to read a little bit, for she hadn't anything else to do. Obviously, she had to wait a little longer, so her ankle would not hurt so bad.

"Elizabeth" she heard a voice near her ear "Wake up"

She tried hard to open her eyes and when she did, she found Darcy in front of her. Immediately, she blushed. He was not formally attired, he wore a loose white shirt reviling his chest. She looked outside the window, it was still night, in fact midnight. "Mr. Darcy..."

"How did you move?" he asked all concern, but when he realized how foolish his question was, he smiled a little.

"I couldn't sleep, so I thought that a book would help me to do so. But, when I was about to leave, I could not." she paused "What are you doing here?"

"I had the same thought." he paused to look at her form "How are you? Has the fever calmed down?"

"A little bit I think. What do you intend to read?"

"Byron" Elizabeth laughed. "But I see, we had the some thought again"

"Indeed. I find Byron very useful, when I want to sleep" They both laughed.

"But, honestly, do you like his style of writing? I find him too sentimental for my own tastes."

"Indeed, he has a tendency to be very dramatic, when it comes to unreturmed love. Don't you think?"

"Yes." he paused "Do you think that a person can actually endure such a pain?"

"Yes, I am confident that a person can endure a great loss, although its upon his affections, whether they will still exist or not. If they are true and strong from the beginning, they will survive."

"I think you are right. But, I believe that such a loss, makes you half man. It takes away every sparkle, every dream and every hope you had before. It changes you."

"Every decision we take, can change us, for better or worse. But, we must have strength and not let anything alter what we previously thought or felt. I believe that this is the true meaning of finding yourself. No matter how much we hurt, we must never let it overtake us."

"It is very hard and in the most cases impossible."

Are they were talking about them again? Elizabeth blushed, as she remembered again his letter. She was his unreturned love? That could not be so, because it was not unreturned. She loved him as well, more than she could admit to herself. After couple of seconds of akward silence, Darcy finally spoke

"May I escord you back to your room?"

"No" she immediately said "I think I cannot walk, my ankle still hurts very much"

"I can lift you up, I have done it before," he offered, but his voice came out severe, like he was mad.

"No, that is highly improper, think if someone see us." she paused "Afterall, Jane is sleeping and I do not want to wake her up, she has done so much for me."

"Do you intend to stay here then? That will not help you improve your condition"

"I will be fine" she said and handing him the book that she previously reading it "You can borrow it, I will not need it anymore."

"No, of course not. You should read it" he tried to give it back but she refused.

"Goodnight" she said. A second later, she saw Darcy moving away, but before he attempt to open the door, he returned again and stood next to her.

"I will keep you company." he paused "I cannot take Byron away from you. We will have to share him."

"What do you suggest?"

"Do you not want me to read you?"

"But you must be very tired, I do not want to impose you any further. You must go rest"

But before, she could continue, he spoke "I insist"

He knew that even if she did not love him, he could not be able to forget her that easily. He would not be able not to care about her. He could wait a few days, until she was recovered. But at that moment, where they were together, he wished a dreadful thing. He wished not to recover soon, so he could be next to her as much as possible. He did not want to leave, he wanted to stay there with her for the rest of his life, but no. No, it was something that he wanted and he could not force her to desire something that she did not. Until she was recovered and then he would return to his home, with no intention of coming back again.

I hope that you are approve of this chapter. But if you do not, let me know why. If you would like you can suggest me what do you want to see next, because I see a little block in front of me, I am out of ideas and I find it hard to write. Review!

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